Her knees were trembling; she tried to dry her sweaty palms in her cloak. It really made no sense to be this nervous, no sense at all. And yet, she was.

After her realisation she had rushed back to number 12 Grimmauld Place, with a sudden urge to see Remus, not even stopping to think if he would be actually there, nor what would she tell him if he were.

Now, standing on the gloomy corridor, she was certain of two things: one, he was there – his cloak was hanging neat the door and she could practically feel him in the parlour, but this might just be her imagination – and two, she had never felt so nervous before. Not even during Auror examinations, not in front of Moody, never ever.

She had stumbled there in a hurry, taken over by the necessity of being near the man she had just admitted to herself she fancied, and now, just meters and a dusty corridor separating her from him, she had not a clue of what should she do next.

To move out of the hall was a priority. She could hear voices coming from the kitchen, the Weasleys, after all, were living at Headquarters for some weeks now; Tonks did not want to meet Sirius or anybody else just now. Not before seeing him.

Damn you, Sirius! She thought angrily. I was in control of the situation! Now you've made me think and, as a result, I am a bloody mess!

Finally, taking a deep breath, she stepped inside the room.

Remus was there, sitting on a couch and reading. He was looking quite thin and tired at the yellowish light of the lamp beside him. Tonks realised now she had not properly looked at him, almost since she found out what he was. Had a full moon passed since? Hastily she tried to clear her head of that particular kind of thoughts: she did not want to picture the man sitting there as a hairy dangerous beast. Not now.

He raised his head slowly and looked at her, his expression blank.

"Hello, Remus," she murmured, wondering for an instant if the loud pumping of her heart was audible for him.

"Tonks," he said with a flat voice.

For a moment they remained silent.

"Do you need something from me?" he finally asked.

"Not really," she replied, looking around for something to do… or maybe for the courage she was currently lacking.

Taking his eyes off her, Lupin stood up and started walking towards the door.

"No," she cried without thinking.

"Pardon me?" he turned around slowly.

"Don't… don't go," she stuttered. "I mean, you don't have to… to leave on my account… I don't want to… disturb you… don't leave because of me."

Now I'm making a complete fool of myself, she thought desperately.

Remus did not say a word for a moment, an enormously large instant in which he just looked into her eyes. But for her immense relieve, even though he remained silent, he resumed his sit near the lamp and re-opened his book.

Now what? She was at a loss of what to say now.

Grabbing the first book of a stack on a nearby table she sat on an armchair, wondering if she should ask his permission to stay. Deciding that Headquarters was meant to be for every member of the Order, therefore, she had as much right as him to stay in that particular room, and that asking him such a question would make the situation even more awkward than what it already was, she opened her book at a random page and stared at it, as if she was concentrating deeply on its contents.

What should she do now? She had to say something!

For Merlin's sake! It's just Remus! The same Remus you had no problem whatsoever talking to before!

"So," she cleared her throat, "uhm… you alright?"

"Quite," he answered. "You?"

"Yeah! Lots to do, you know."

"Of course."

She could not think of anything else to say, so she kept staring at her book not taking a word of what was written.

Now she had done it! It would be horribly difficult or even impossible to be friends with him again, let alone… let alone making him fancy her.

You better burry that particular thought deep inside that stupid head of yours… or even better, forget you even had it!

"I'd never guessed you would be interested in House Elf genealogy," he suddenly said.

"I… uhm… what?"

He was looking at the book on her lap and, pointing at the cover with his finger, he read aloud:

"Servitude and blood, loyal House Elf breeds in history"

Tonks could distinctively feel her cheeks burning red.

"Well… yes, I… have many interests," she mumbled, with all the dignity she could muster, flipping through the pages of the volume and without taking her eyes of it.

"I see."

Something in Remus' voice made her raise her head. Something almost imperceptible, a hint of… amusement?

And there it was the very spark in his bright brown eyes and the promise of a smile lingering at the corner of his mouth. For a fraction of a second Tonks could see in his gaze a tiny bit of the complicity she remembered.

"Yeah," she said encouraged, "always ready, constant vigilance, expect the unexpected, that sort of things."

"I see," he repeated.

She did not felt like pushing her luck any further, so without saying anything else she sat more comfortably and begun to read. If she had been stupid enough to grab a book on House Elves families, it was just fair for her to read it, as a punishment for being utterly stupid.

But she never had been one to just remain silent, and more so when she was feeling there was something else to be said… even though she was certain that she still had not muster the courage for an apology.

"Where is Sirius?" she asked, regretting it the moment the words had left her.

"Upstairs, I suppose," Remus said without emotion. "Do you want me to call for him?"

"No, no," Tonks hurried her answer. "I was just wondering… despite of the kids being around, it all seems so quiet."

This, at least, is honest.

"It has been really quiet around here lately."

There was no sparkling in his eyes this time; he was talking about something else… and Tonks realised he was talking about them.

"I know," she said without looking away.

Remus looked back into his book and Tonks felt she was about to lose the one opportunity she would ever have.

"Sometimes…" she started, he looked up again, "sometimes a bit of quiet is needed… in order to clear things up. Thoughts, ideas…"

Her voice faded away but this time Remus did not resumed his reading, which encouraged her a bit more.

"I am not usually quiet, and I know that can be a mistake. But… but sometimes being quiet is the biggest mistake of them all."

He was now looking at her with such intensity; she felt he was scanning every centimetre of her. And then, very slowly, he smiled. It was the most reliving feeling and Tonks beamed back at him. Then she felt suddenly very self-conscious and looked back at the book at her lap.

"Oi!" Sirius' voice came from the threshold. "Glad you two are here. Emergency meeting, now!"