A/N: Oh baby...I apologize in advance if this chapter gets a little lengthy but with these lyrics and my need to get this subject just right...I may get wordy.
Oh and this chapter flips POVs A LOT!
Onward and Upward Chicas because even though I'm being coy...I do know what you all really want from me!
All you had to do was ask.
Enjoy! ;)~
Miss Missing You (Fall Out Boy)
Quinn's POV
I couldn't let her get to me because if I did then she wouldn't respect me.
This wasn't the sweet part of Santana that I had fallen for...this was basically her evil half.
She was going to try to break me and while I was willing to submit to her...there was absolutely no way that she would break me.
You can't break someone who's already broken.
If things went according to my plans, she would be begging to be on her knees by the time all this was done.
My license may say Lopez but I would always be a Fabray.
I walked into the house and dropped my things by the door.
That hadn't been my intention but it was all that I had time for before she shoved me back against the door.
Something normal for us...and so I smiled.
If this was...
She slapped me...hard.
I looked at her in shock and tightened my fists.
She had promised me that she would never hit me in anger.
Never had that promise been broken...until now.
"Not going to hit me back, hmm? Isn't that what you've always wanted, Fabray? To have me under the heel of your shoe?"
I shook my head...but then I shrugged...bad move.
She shoved me back again and raised her hand and I flinched.
She froze.
And that's when I saw a spark of the woman who I loved.
"San...please?" I said without a tremor in my voice.
And that snapped Snix back into action.
She took my hands and pinned them against the wall behind me.
I took deep breaths as she crowded my personal space with her intoxicating smell.
Oh how I wanted her.
To take her and top her.
I smiled at her and then in what would have made Sue proud, I pivoted and in just three seconds, I had turned the tables and was shoving her face against the door.
She was frantically trying to get out of my hold but I was twisting her arm behind her back and pressing my hand between her shoulder blades.
I pressed my cheek against hers and smiled.
"You don't scare me. I have dealt with worse than you...my father once beat me until I was coughing up blood and made me thank him for it. If you want to do this...then you are going to fucking respect me. Got it?"
"Fuck." She groaned as I pushed her arm and her back at the same time.
"Try again." I said as I shoved my knee between her legs.
"Yes! Okay! I will respect you!"
"Good girl." I said before releasing her and taking a step back.
I was amazed with myself.
She turned and looked at me with a spark in her eyes but with less violence in her features.
This I could handle.
She stood there watching me...as if she now had to decide on another approach.
In the meantime, I slowly stripped for her.
No matter what happened tonight, I would be in control.
Her eyes followed me as I folded my clothes and then when I stepped in front of her wearing nothing but my smile...she regained her composure.
"I've always wanted to put you on your knees...Q." She said as she began to slowly move around me, occasionally touching me on my arm or my shoulder.
Her touch was feather light and was sending all of my senses into overdrive.
But I would not break.
So, I cleared my throat...completely unaware of anything but her fingers and her voice.
"Yea? Why is that?" I said as I looked down at the wooden floorboards.
"From the moment that I met you...it always felt like you were looking down on me...convinced that I was jealous of you."
"Because you were." I whispered, not being able to resist pissing her off with one of her old insecurities.
She stepped back into my line of sight and raised my chin with her fingers and leaned in.
Her head dipped and I hissed when her teeth nipped at my collarbone.
I yelped as she moved her teeth along my neck before biting at the curve of my jaw.
She pulled back a little and chuckled.
"You sure about that? Hmmm? Because the way that I see it...you were always jealous of Britt...and the fact that she stole me from you."
I shuddered as her fingers dug into the flesh of my hips.
My skin was on fire as she continued to press my buttons...
With rough touches in sensitive places and an extra rasp in her voice,
I was melting.
"I've always wanted you." I finally admitted.
"Of course you did." She said as her finger trailed up the crack of my ass.
"San...please." I groaned.
"You still do...want me, right?" She said as her fingers moved to knead my ass while her lips traced the shell of my ear.
"Yessss."
"Then kneel." She said with a growl before stepping back and dropping her hands to her sides.
And without a seconds hesitation, I fell to my knees and looked up at her.
Ready to come to her in supplication and willing to do what was necessary to bind us back together.
Wanting her and needing her had become synonymous.
"Thank you." I whispered without thought.
But my slip seemed to please her as her eyes danced across my face in delight.
Knowing that I pleased her made my heart pound.
The wetness was rushing down my thighs as I closed my eyes and dropped my head.
It seemed that being in this position before her came naturally and she was soaking it up.
My pride had vanished as I allowed my needs to guide me...pushing me closer to being a sensory being.
I could still feel all of her touches...everywhere and I wanted to do anything to keep that feeling present on my skin and in my mind,
Forever.
Santana's POV
"Touch her." I whispered to the rougher side of me. "If you must do this...if you must use her to get over your broken heart...don't break her. Please?"
Months of darkness and silence and finally...she wakes me up so that I can see my wife kneeling at her feet.
How we had gotten to this point didn't really concern me.
What concerned me was the fear in Q's features...or the way that she flinched just enough for me to notice.
Snix didn't know her like I did.
She didn't get her like I did.
Quinn was my love and my life...
The air that fed me and the sun that kept me warm.
So if this was going to happen...
She couldn't be a casualty.
That was where I put my foot down.
I watched as my hands caressed her face...but I couldn't feel it.
She was letting me watch but that was as much as I would get.
It was like watching someone else fuck my wife right in front of me.
But I wouldn't let her get to me.
Not like she wanted to.
"Right there...dig your nails in her hair."
She gripped Q's head and pulled it back.
The green of her eyes and the softness of her lips were entrancing as she looked up at us.
"If you want to be a part of this, Ana...then you need to let me work." She whispered to me as she began to hum.
I noticed the song immediately and apparently so did Quinn.
Take My Breath Away...
She was smooth.
I went to say something but found that I couldn't get the words out because she was now serenading my wife.
From anyone else' s perspective it would have seemed charming...but for me...it made me groan.
Seriously?
Corny!
I watched as Quinn stayed there on her knees and listened to the entire song being sung.
She was beginning to sway a little and I smiled.
I knew that she was thinking back to prom night...when we sang together.
And when she stood, I had wrapped my arm around her and held on tight.
That was the first time that I held her so close to me.
And for me...it was when I knew that Britt and I probably weren't a forever thing.
My first...energy exchange...was definitely with Q.
And now Snix was using that history to get my wife to drop her guard.
Luring her into a false sense of security because there was no way that she was going to just ignore the fact that Quinn had bested her.
Quinn had demanded respect, instead of earning it.
And while I applauded that...Snix was not so forgiving.
Quinn's POV
She was pulling me to my feet as she finished off her dinner.
I felt a rush of blood flow through my legs as I stood in front of her.
My height advantage not really helping as she held firmly to my arm while I wobbled on my feet.
She had kept me on my knees through her singing, her showering and then her eating.
I was tired and feeling sore but I was still willing to do what she needed.
"What do you want from me, San?"
"Tell me what your endgame is, Lucy Q."
I looked at her and I swear there was a spark still there.
But I was probably starting to lose it myself.
Exhaustion can do that to a person.
"I just want my wife back. I just want to be with her every single day for the rest of my life...with or without you...I won't give up on her."
She looked taken aback.
But I didn't care.
Why put up false pretenses?
That's never gotten me anywhere before.
I stood there in the same spot as she sat down on the couch with a glass of wine.
Where had that come from?
And where was my glass?
I swayed a little as she took sips and watched me with speculative eyes.
"Why?" She finally asked after taking a long sip.
I was confused...had I not exhibited my dedication and love enough?
"After I had Beth..."
I felt the tears come rushing to my eyes as I looked at her expression.
Not a hint of sympathy was there but I never did get any from her anyway.
It was just another fact of my life that she had pushed to the side so that it would hurt me.
Over the last few months...that had changed.
She didn't care about my feelings as she berated me for my poor life choices, right down to my picking up smoking again during the trial.
It was like she wanted me to hate her but here I stood...demeaning myself just like she had before she shot those three people.
The bully became bullied and it broke her in two.
There was a defining difference in all of this though.
They had done it all just to be assholes, just for fun...but she was doing things to consciously hurt me.
To break me.
But I swallowed my hurt and put on a smile and continued from where I had left off.
"I was broken down and I tried like hell to do everything that I could to feel the rush of being on top again...but it wasn't the same. Nothing felt like it did when I was a naïve fifteen year old, ready to conquer the world. At least not until that hotel room on Valentine's day. Being with you...every part of you after that was a rush. I was willing to be whatever you needed me to be...and when I found out that I was pregnant. That I was going to be a mom again...the rush came back...but then I lost it. It broke me deeper than giving away Beth did."
I stopped.
She was crying.
For the first time in all of this...she was actually showing emotion.
"Keep going." She choked out.
She cleared her throat and guzzled down the last of her wine before wiping her tears away.
I stood there...rooted to the spot...no longer swaying.
My research told me that the identities were separate...they had their own memories...own lives.
And Snix was no different...she hadn't been around to fall in love with me...not completely.
Now though...it was me and her and she needed to see that my devotion was something real.
"When I went to New York after dropping out of Yale...I know that it was you that fucked me against that wall and it was her that picked up the pieces. Going back, I can see the times that you jumped in front of her. The times that you jumped into our relationship and now our marriage. I see who you are...the good and the bad. What confuses me though...is how when I visited you at the house...you kept asking me to top you. It was both of you...agreeing to let me take over...right?"
She looked at me wide-eyed.
I had been more observant than she had realized.
"It was." She admitted with a shrug of her shoulders and a tilt of her chin.
"And you liked it...when I took over...when I topped you and made you feel like you were whole...you craved it...didn't you?"
"Yes." She said...and the more that she answered my questions...the more I could see my wife shining through.
I took a step closer and her eyebrows raised.
But she didn't correct me...
She didn't stop me and so I stepped forward again...this time with a bigger step.
I could see them at war as I knelt between her knees and reached up to pull her face into my hands.
Her dark eyes looked at me with so much pain and so much happiness at the same time.
I leaned forward and kissed her lips and then pulled back and smiled at her.
"Don't you want to feel all the love in the world...all the acceptance that you will ever need? Aren't you tired of fighting this war inside of you?"
"Yes." She whimpered.
I had gotten to her.
Underneath her skin.
Her eyes stared down at me and all of a sudden she was that frightened little girl that she had always been.
"You don't have to be tough for me, San...you don't have to jump back and forth with me...I want all of you. All of the time...all you have to do is tell me...ask me to love all of you...and know that you won't be rejected because I'm already yours."
Santana's POV
I don't know how it happened exactly.
There is no exact science to this whole split thing.
But I was pretty sure that we were finally unified.
Seeing my wife there before me with so much love and conviction in her words brought us together.
Through it all...we existed for one another.
Snix seemed to finally realize that it was time to grow the fuck up.
It was time to embrace the love that was laid out for us.
To stop fucking rebelling and just let the love in.
And I was breaking to the forefront of my own mind for the first time in almost seven months.
"Get up." I finally croaked out.
She looked shocked.
Then again, so was I, my body had been held captive for way too long and while that wasn't the first thing that I wanted to say to my wife in all of this time, I felt that it was necessary for me.
Snix had been taking over me...but I wouldn't allow it anymore.
It was time for me to be Santana again.
I couldn't deal with being anyone else anymore.
"San...I-"
I put my hand over her mouth softly as I leaned forward.
"Get up, Q...go eat and meet me upstairs when you're done."
And just like that I pushed past her.
I needed to escape before I became too weak to fight off the darker parts of me.
Snix was behaving but who knew how long that would last?
I burst into the bedroom and locked the door behind me.
Quinn had packed up most of the apartment and had our stuff shipped here and so I knew that what I was looking for would be here.
First though, I stood in front of the mirror and took stock of my reflection.
My skin was darker, my eyes were blacker and my weight was too low.
There were too many sharp edges and not enough Latina curves...that all needed to change.
"Will you let me stay?" I said to her...knowing that she was still lingering.
"And what...lock me back up?"
"I need you with me...just...not as the decision maker. You are my bravery...but you don't have a heart...let me be the heart and the mind...please?" I asked with force but kindness.
"Okay." She relented and I felt a heaviness lift from my chest.
I felt lighter...and while I could sense her...she wasn't holding me down anymore.
This time her leaving didn't mean that I was abandoned...it meant that I was present.
What was it Mami used to say?
And then she answered for me.
"Be. Here. Now."
And I smiled at my reflection.
I was here again...
Thank God!
Quinn's POV
I was so confused.
What changed?
Had I done something wrong?
I quickly shoved as much pasta in my mouth as possible...barely chewing as I stared out the back window at the lake.
My mind kept going back over the day and I was coming up lost.
Nothing made sense.
"If you don't slow down, you're going to choke, Q."
I turned around and there stood my smiling wife.
"San?" I said as clearly as possible.
She smiled and nodded.
"The bitch is back." She said with one of those exaggerated winks.
I put my plate in the sink and then just stood there and looked at her.
Knowing that it was my wife standing in front of me, put me at ease.
But I was still worried that she would jump back into Snix.
My guard was still up.
San smiled at me and held her hand out for me.
"Come with me." She said, still smiling as my hand slid into hers.
Even her touch felt different.
I was suddenly safer.
I wanted to cry.
When she pulled me into the bedroom, I officially let the tears come down.
There were candles everywhere and the curtains were drawn.
And in the middle of the bed...
I looked at her and she looked back at me with a smile.
"Your guard is still up...so I want you to feel like you can control something in all of that...top me, baby...please?" She whispered as she stepped in closer and ran her hands up and down my skin.
Until that moment, I had forgotten just how naked I was.
"You're sure?" I asked as I touched her face and brought her closer.
She smiled and kissed my face.
It was kind of freaky.
She was even sweeter than she had originally been.
"I asked...didn't I? What's our rule?"
And then I grinned.
"Okay then...how about you take all those clothes off while I get that harness on then...okay?"
The sound of my own voice made me want to kick myself.
I sounded so open and vulnerable.
But then she smiled at me as she took off her shirt and I forgot all that.
She was back...and I didn't want to waste another second.
Santana's POV
She seemed like she was going to run screaming.
I'll admit...I was expecting it.
But then I was naked and she was climbing on the bed with that harness on.
She looked silly with that thing hanging between her legs...it always made me smile but then she would reek havoc with it and I wasn't smiling anymore.
Usually I was too busy screaming.
A tremor went through me and I smiled.
I was so ready for this.
Ready to be back.
With her...
With me!
I finally felt like I was going to be okay.
"Go slow at first baby." I said as I opened myself for her.
She hovered over me and just looked at me in awe.
"Okay..." She she whispered as she focused on sliding home.
It was all excruciatingly slow as she pushed inside of me.
"Oh God...like that...slow...it's been awhile...fuck." I groaned as she finally ground her hips down against mine.
"Too long." She groaned as she hovered above me with a big smile on her face.
Her hips were trapping mine down and she wasn't moving.
"Baby...please." I groaned as I ran my fingers up and down her sides.
"Please what? Ask me."
"Go faster, baby, please...take what's yours. Please?" I begged.
"All you had to do was ask."
I bounced in her lap as she sat there holding me and smiling.
"I missed you." She said as she thrusted her hips up to meet mine.
"I missed youuuuu." I groaned as I rested my sweaty forehead against hers. Her arms held me close as she began to lift me and bring me back down. "Oh Godddddddddddd! Quinn! Yes...yes...I need it harder...please?"
"Like this?"
"Yes! Uh. Uh...ayyyyyy...fuckkkkkkkkk!" I shrieked as I slowed down and tried to suck in as much air as possible.
I was near tears as I continued to beg her for more.
More touching, more kisses.
And she obliged every single request.
"On your back." She said with a gentle shove. "There is a position that I have missed more than the rest."
I slid bonelessly back onto the bed with a groan, fresh off my third orgasm.
There was a snicker in my head and then a spark of lust.
Snix was enjoying this...
She was insatiable just like Q was.
I was all crazy and split off and here was my wife, loving me into submission...
Just like it should have been all along.
Quinn's POV
I had taken her from behind, over the bed, the dresser and made her scream my name twice before making it back into that sitting position.
And even though I had come myself each time...there was only one position that forced me to stare into her eyes.
One position that I held above all others.
I kneeled between her legs and then lifted them, before hooking them over my elbows.
Normally my hands would slide to her waist but I could tell that she was tired and so I slid my hands underneath her and gripped her shoulders.
She looked at me with hooded eyes and gave me a nervous smile.
"Is this too much?" I asked as I held her to me.
"Never."
She shook her head as tears welled up in her eyes.
Just like they used to.
Santana Lopez has always craved physical contact and this was a way to cradle her and love her as much as I could at the same time.
It always rendered her emotional and sappy.
Just how I wanted her.
"Oh my...uh...Q...oh oh...ahhh!" She groaned as I thrust with all my strength, trying to reach as deep as I could.
I gripped harder to her shoulders and pulled her into me over and over again.
Our eyes were locked as she bit into her lip.
"I don't care who you are tomorrow...but you will always be mine." I growled as I began to nip at her neck and collarbone.
"Yessss." She hissed as she rested her hands on my back and urged me on. "All yours, Q. Your wife...your love...your everything. Para siempre, amor."
The bed was squealing as I felt my own release peaking and so I thrusted harder...
"Oh Sannnnnn!" I groaned as she forced her fingers underneath the harness and began to pinch my clit.
"Tell me that you love me again." She panted.
"I love you!" I screamed as I came. "Fuck...so much!" I moaned as I came again. "Sannnnnnnnn!" I screamed as I came a third time before ripping her hand away.
She looked up at me with mischief in her eyes.
It was like I was looking at her but I could see Snix too.
Like they were working together to take me to the precipice before they shoved me over.
And so I pushed past my euphoria and began to thrust at a bruising pace...
"Q...baby...I can't...ayyyy!" She screamed.
"You can and you will." I said as I slammed into her again.
"Oh God! Yesss...right...there...right...there!"
"That was amazing." She groaned as she curled against my side.
"Yea, well I've been holding it in for quite a while. Give me a few minutes and I will probably be ready for more." I said as I twirled her hair around my fingers.
She looked at me with wide eyes and shook her head.
"Um...how about, no. Do you see how little I am...at the rate you're going...I'll break in two."
"You already are in two." I winked and she rolled her eyes.
"Touche."
"You know what...when the hype dies down and we figure out our next step...lets go somewhere fun."
"Like where?"
"Anywhere...as long as we are together."
"That sounds good, Q."
"Promise me that you will fight to stay." I said as I trailed my fingers over her lips and then over her cheek.
"I promise that I will not leave you, Q...not completely...or ever again."
"Good."
"Now...how about another round?"
"I thought you were afraid of breaking."
She crawled down my body and shoved my legs apart.
"I am...that's why you will be the only one coming this time around."
"Oh..."
"Do you mind if I make you come, Q?"
"You don't ever have to ask." I winked.
A/N: Okay...there is no way to deny being spoiled now...I just gave you close to 5000 words. That's dedication! One chapter left!
-A
