AN: Back to the east coast.
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The next days of practice passed by none too quickly.
There were the bouts of frustration and anger that filled Sora while in May's presence, which occurred frequently what with them being in the same scene. What made matters worse was when May would throw a verbal jab about the situation of her needing to come and "save" the scene since Sora couldn't cut it. The worst comments revolved around May being the leading lady, therefore acknowledged by a top performer whose skills were unrivaled.
Sora allowed the feelings of irritation and lingering hurt to come in order to fuel her performance, but she did not want to lash out again.
Fighting with other performers wasn't something she wanted to do.
It didn't matter if she didn't get along with them; she knew better than that, she used to be stronger than that and she felt like the fight she had was proof of how weak she had become.
When did I lose my resolve? Where is my spirit?
The change in her was very upsetting.
IN
It was finally Friday night and the curtain was due to rise in a few minutes.
Morosely, Sora stood by and waited to get it over with. This is not what I had expected. When Kalos told her that Layla wanted her help, she was hoping there'd be some time for them to talk and enjoy some companionable moments like they used to back when they were partners.
But we're not partners. Layla had even said it herself when she called Cathy her new partner.
And where was Sora in this mess?
I'm adrift at sea with a rotting plank of wood.
A hand on her shoulder snapped her out of her grim thoughts. She blinked as 'Johan' stood beside her.
"Don't get lost in the emotions of the scene," he quietly said. "I know it's hard to separate what you feel in the play and what you feel outside of it, but don't let the chaos that Layla wants to be something that defines you. Go through it when you're on the stage and then release it when you're not under the spotlight."
She blinked at the idea of being able to unhook 'chaos' from her off of the stage like a heavy cape.
"The balance," she said, "is needed."
He gave her a smile. "Exactly."
IN
When Layla went up to dance as Salome, Sora and May jumped on the tightropes above the stage.
The red lights and the dramatic music made Sora's heart pound.
As Salome demonstrated beauty with the tosses of her hair and veil, Sora recalled seeing the smiles of the kids at the Kaleido Stage. Each one was unique and came from inner feelings of joy and happiness. She twirled over May as she let that feeling flow.
When Salome enacted infatuation with caressing motions of her hands, Leon's form inevitability came to her mind when she was smitten with the sound of his laughter, however rough and short it had been. She draped herself along the ropes in a longing sigh.
Jealously and anguish came with jarring force. Salome twisted around and around, gripping her head in pain at the feeling of unrequited love. The time in the grove when Mia told her that May and Leon were dating came back with unwanted suddenness, she bent over as her stomach clenched. She easily transitioned that into a forward drop and hung in the air as she contoured her limbs in agony.
Finally, dark satisfaction appeared on Salome's face as her idea of retribution poisoned her mind and empowered her, giving her fake strength. Salome smiled too widely as she threw her head back and then folded herself forward in a smooth motion. Sora had trouble transitioning to this last emotion, but she attempted to by executing complicated movements with dramatic flicks of the head and wrists.
The scene ended with Salome in a dramatic pose with her arms lowered beside her body and her hair almost touching the floor as she arched her back. Sora and May posed with their arms arching in the opposite directions and their legs wrapped around the ropes to suspend them in the air.
The audience cheered loudly. The two teens panted a little and shared a look.
Layla beat us.
The sharing had only lasted two seconds before they continued to ignore the other and quickly got off of the stage for the next scene to take place.
When Sora entered the wings, she remembered the advice and closed her eyes to calm herself down. May went past her to get a water bottle.
Release it.
She let out a long breath and then took a long one in. After a moment of just enjoying the sensation of breathing, she opened her eyes. She didn't feel completely rid of that chaos of emotions, but it certainly wasn't so heavy on her heart.
Maybe performing it out helped as well.
She watched as Salome and Johan faced each other before Herod. Then, Salome stepped back and allowed Herod to shoot Johan. Tears formed in Sora's eyes.
Hadn't she loved him?
There were so many things that Sora did not understand.
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