The silence that followed was the loudest and longest silence that Albus had ever heard. He could feel his heart hammering, his blood pulsing to his reddening ears as he blushed with nervousness.
"Well, I got a breakfast rez in a few hours, so—" Albus joked to ease the tension, moving to stand up and feeling a shooting pain in his ankle.
Ayla laughed once, which sounded slightly panicked. "No, Al, I—" She grabbed his arm and he sat back down, looking at her, waiting for a response. Ayla looked down, closing her wide eyes for a moment as she gathered her thoughts.
Ayla felt her voice shaking as she spoke. "Albus, all I've ever wanted was to heal after everything that's happened to me," she began and he felt himself trembling in fear as he waited to hear in what direction she planned to take her answer. "I don't care about anything else, as long as I'm healing with you. I love you, Albus, and I never want to let you go."
He felt a massive wave of relief crashing down over him, his green eyes widening and an amazed grin spreading over his face.
"So, does this mean…I mean, are we—" Albus stammered, eyes widening.
"Albus Severus Potter, will you forgive me for the huge mistake I made five years ago?" Ayla asked sincerely, her bright eyes filling with tears as she took his hands.
"As long as you forgive me for the even bigger one I made—letting you go." Albus took a deep breath, their wide eyes meeting. He stared into her beautiful eyes, shaking his head in amazement as he felt tears forming. "I never stopped loving you, not for one damn second."
"I'll never lie to you again, Albus," she promised, wrapping her arms around him, her head resting against his chest. He hugged her tightly, stroking her soft hair, the pain in his chest finally easing as she felt his heartbeat through their long-awaited embrace.
X
Albus marveled at his and Ayla's interlaced fingers as the sunrise shone through them, lighting up the sky around the forbidden forest where they had talked all night.
"So, where does this leave us?" Albus asked softly, kissing the top of her head, feeling her wispy, shimmery hair beneath his lips.
"I, um, I think I need a little bit of time," Ayla said softly, pulling her knees to her chest. "I know Brad and I weren't the most serious couple of all time but I just don't feel right about jumping straight back immediately after we broke up, you know? I don't want to hurt him."
"Of course, baby, as much time as you need," Albus assured her. "I have to ask, though…did you even like him?" he wondered sincerely, concern creasing his forehead.
Ayla stared straight ahead, squinting slightly and not meeting Albus's green eyes. "I don't know. I guess I just wanted to be able to know that someone liked me…I had lost both you and James and I was vulnerable, I guess."
"Ayla…you know I never stopped loving you, right?" Albus asked slowly, cautiously, his heart aching as he reached for her.
"I know," Ayla laughed once, wiping her eyes. "But I also know that I'm a tough person to put up with sometimes. I'm complicated, I'm damaged, I'm a little bit broken, and sometimes I just shut myself off to everyone. I guess it's hard for me to wrap my head around someone loving me because I just can't imagine why they would."
"Well, if I said it was always easy, I'd be lying. But it's not supposed to be easy—relationships are hard work. It's hard to give someone everything you have because that means giving someone the power to tear you apart. It's not easy but it's worth it." He took her hand and gently touched her face, turning it towards him and locking their eyes together. "I won't tear you apart, Ayla Torres. I promise you I will never make you cry again." He leaned in and kissed her cheek to whisk away the tear on her skin.
"And I won't hurt you again just because I'm so scared of falling apart," Ayla promised. "I'm so sorry, Albus. I'm sorry I lied and I'm sorry I'm such a mess. I'm sorry that you're stuck loving me," she tacked onto the end with a sad smile.
"Hey, hey, hey, I'd choose you over normal any day," Albus told her, nudging her shoulder playfully and she laughed, wiping the tears from her violet eyes. He wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her head, gazing at the rising sun through squinting eyes. "I've missed you, Ayla."
"I don't want to live without you, Albus, not another day," Ayla told him, sniffling.
"I promise you won't have to," he whispered, pulling her closer and blinking tears from his own eyes. "I promise you never have to be alone again."
X
Ayla awoke to a silent dormitory and sat up, rubbing her eyes. She stood up, stretched, and made her way towards the bathroom, having fallen asleep without taking off her makeup. She stumbled over something on the ground, falling to the floor with a thud.
"Are you okay?" Albus's concerned voice demanded and Ayla groaned tiredly.
"Albus, you don't have to be such a gentleman," she croaked thickly, her voice raspy with sleep. "You can sleep in the bed."
"No, no, it's okay," he assured her. "You take the bed; I'll stay here on the floor."
"Alright, well, you might want to move up next to my bed. My roommates might not be too happy to trip over you at six in the morning." She leaned over and kissed him. "Sorry I woke you."
"Worth it," he replied with a goofy grin, kissing her again. He watched her by the glimmer of the still-rising sun as she stepped through the bathroom door. He heard running water behind the wooden door and he sat up, leaning back against the footboard of Ayla's bed. Ayla emerged from the bathroom, running a hand through her hair.
"Did you get any sleep?" she asked, perching cross-legged on her bed.
"Yeah, about half an hour since we came inside," Albus said, raising himself up and sitting next to her. "What about you?"
"Same," Ayla agreed, scooching back to make room for him. He smiled softly at her, his green eyes shining as he gazed at the beautiful girl that he loved more than anything in the world. Ayla slowly reached forward, taking his face in her hands and kissing him, their lips molding together gently.
"We shouldn't do this," Albus whispered as Ayla's hands reached his zipper, struggling to force the words out of his mouth. "I don't want you to rush into anything. You and Brad broke up; you're just…not in your right mind right now," he breathed against her lips and she pulled back, looking at him through wide eyes.
"Really?" she asked quietly and he nodded.
"I don't want you to start off this relationship with regrets," he whispered back. "I'll move back to the floor."
"You're not going anywhere," Ayla disagreed in a whisper, tugging on his t-shirt to pull him back onto the bed. She laid with her head on his chest and he wrapped his arm around her. "Thank you for taking care of me," she said after a moment.
Albus shifted slightly so she wouldn't feel him pressing against her leg. "Of course, baby," he murmured, kissing the top of her head. "I want you to be okay, you know that."
"I am okay," she said gently, a soft smile warming her lips. "I'm okay now that I have you." She raised her head and kissed him once on the lips, then returned her head to his chest and sleeping better than she had slept in months.
X
"So, we're waiting a little while before we tell them we're back together?" Albus asked in a low voice as he buckled his belt, shifting his weight onto the injured ankle that he had just repaired with a spell.
Ayla nodded in confirmation. "I just don't want to hurt Bradley," she explained. "He's always been a little touchy about…you know, you." She pulled her cardigan on over her shirt, glancing at the door. "It's still really early; maybe you could sneak out onto the couch and everyone would assume you slept there. That way no one would think anything happened here," she said, gesturing between herself and Albus.
"Nothing did happen," he reminded her, wrapping his arms around her waist as she knelt on the bed to reach him. "Well, not that, anyway." He kissed her gently and pulled back. "What happened was…everything else. Everything that is so much more amazing than just that because I have you back in my life and that is all I've ever wanted. I'll see you in a few hours. I love you."
"I love you, too," Ayla told him, laying back down as Albus pulled the curtains around her bed.
Albus made his way to the couch, laying down and closing his green eyes. He couldn't keep the soft smile off of his face as he drifted back into a deep sleep, feeling something he hadn't felt in a long time—genuine happiness.
X
He awoke with a jolt as three figures pounced on him. Liam had hopped onto the pillow where his head rested, Brad was sitting on his torso, and Hugo had dived onto his legs. He laughed, throwing them off of him; Liam and Hugo moved to the coffee table across from him and Brad perched on the back of the couch above him, all grinning ear-to-ear.
"Look who's back!" Liam announced, clapping him on the shoulder.
"Yeah, man, are you back or are you back?" Hugo asked, leaning forward, the difference clearly being whether he and Ayla had worked things out.
"I mean, I'm still in school pretty close by, so it's not like I'll be living here like James, but I'm around for the long haul," Albus explained with a broad grin.
"So you and Ayla…" Brad began, raising his eyebrows.
"No, no, no, we're just friends again," Albus lied hastily, mostly because Brad's feet were dangerously close to his crotch. Brad nodded, settling back.
"See how long that lasts," Liam muttered suggestively, nudging Hugo, who snickered.
Albus smirked at Liam but adjusted his position nonetheless to distance himself from Brad. Ayla emerged from her dorm at that moment and Brad hopped down from the back of the couch, silently crossing to his dormitory. A sad look crossed Ayla's face as she filled with pity.
"We'll give you two friends a moment," Liam said with a smirk and headed through the portrait with Hugo.
Ayla looked at Albus, her face filled with devastated guilt.
"Baby, what's wrong?" Albus asked, eyes widening in concern, wrapping his arm around her and gently pulling her to his lap.
"I just feel so bad about lying to Brad," Ayla told him in a hushed tone so no one would overhear. "He looked so upset and I just feel terrible for putting him through this, and—"
"Ayla," he interrupted firmly but sincerely. "Are you happy?" he asked bluntly.
"I'm thrilled, Albus, of course—" she assured him immediately, her hand in his dark untidy hair.
"I know this is hard for you because you care so much about everyone but you have to put your own happiness first," he told her genuinely. "No matter what that means for anyone else." He met her deep violet eyes. "Alright?"
She nodded and kissed him, her hands resting on the grey fabric on his t-shirt on his shoulders. He pulled her towards him and she placed one knee on either side of his hips and he kissed her back.
"I love you, Albus," Ayla whispered against his lips.
"I love you, too, Ayla," he murmured back, kissing her again. She slid off of his lap and Albus wrapped his arm around her and she nestled her head against his shoulder.
X
"Where did you find this book?" Lily asked and Ayla looked up from her Potions essay. "The second shelf on the right in the Potions section," Ayla replied and Lily stood to put it back. Ayla, Lily, and Albus were in the library, Albus keeping them company while they worked on their essays and waited for Liam, Hugo, and Brad to arrive.
The moment Lily was out of sight, Albus leaned in and kissed Ayla's neck.
"This whole sneaking-around thing is even harder than it was the first time," Ayla whispered as their lips met. Albus nodded and lowered himself over her, kissing her. "She's gonna hear us," Ayla breathed, halfheartedly pulling herself away.
"Mmm," Albus murmured in disagreement, pulling her back gently and kissing her again.
"Okay, now we really have to stop," Ayla laughed and Albus rolled off of her, leaning back on his elbows on the floor next to her reluctantly.
Lily returned and plopped cheerily down next to them. "Back!" she declared in a chipper voice, scooching towards the table they were gathered on the floor around, returning to her essay.
"Hey, guys," came Liam's voice and the three of them looked up. Behind him was Sophia, wearing a skin-tight leopard-print sweater that exposed her chest and stomach almost entirely. "Hugo and Brad went to Hogsmeade with Nate and Tristan so I figured I'd bring Sophia instead."
"Great!" Ayla said warmly, nudging Lily lightly.
"Great…" Lily muttered begrudgingly as Sophia sat down and Ayla smiled bracingly at her best friend.
"What are we studying for, girlies?" Sophia asked, peering over the table at their essays.
"Writing our potions essays," Ayla replied, turning the page in her book.
"Oh, Lily, we can find you another book!" Sophia offered and Ayla glanced at Lily.
Lily opened her mouth to reply but met Ayla's gaze and sighed. "That would be lovely, Sophia, thanks," she stated robotically, a fake smile plastered on her face. Sophia leapt onto Liam's back and covered his eyes. He grinned and followed her verbal directions to the bookshelves, attempting to not run into anything. Sophia's high-pitched gleeful laugh rang through the library and Lily imitated it under her breath, pressing her quill into her parchment until her knuckles whitened.
"Are you okay?" Ayla asked genuinely. "We can make up some excuse if you need to get out of here," she offered sincerely.
"I really need to study so I've gotta stay," Lily explained. "I just really can't stand her. But I don't want to upset Liam by being a bitch to her but it's hard not to be a bitch to her because—" Lily ranted, breaking off and sighing. "I'm sorry, I know, I just need to try."
"Look, if you do slip up and say something mean to her, just pretend you were ragging on her in a friendly way, like you and I do all the time!" Ayla explained encouragingly.
"Okay, yeah, I'll do that," Lily agreed, smiling in thanks as Liam and Sophia approached.
"We got you a bunch of books; well, by 'we'I mean Liam because he did all the heavy lifting—thank goodness for men, right?" Sophia babbled as Liam set the books on the table.
"Yeah, because god forbid you do anything for yourself," Lily grumbled, taking a book from the pile. All eyes landed on her, as Sophia and Liam stopped and waited for her to say something else, Albus's eyebrows shot up, and Ayla's eyes popped as she turned to her best friend. "Wha—oh, it was a joke," Lily covered reluctantly. "That's what friends do, right?" she added dully.
"Awww!" Sophia squealed, hugging Liam from the side in excitement. "I'm best friends with your friends now, Liam!"
Liam wrapped his right arm around her to hug her back but let out a single nervous laugh. Albus glanced up at him and made eye contact, then looked back down at the book he was reading, eyebrows raised.
"How's your essay coming, Lil?" Ayla asked, trying to change the subject.
"I'm about 1.5 meters through," Lily replied, finally drawing her hardened eyes from Sophia.
"Oh, that's good, did you—" Ayla began, but Sophia cut across her.
"That's how far I am in my Defense against the Dark Arts essay," Sophia contributed, leaning over Lily's shoulder to look at her essay.
"Great, because I was hoping we could make this conversation about you," Lily snapped sarcastically and Ayla elbowed her lightly but stifled a laugh.
"I'm not taking Potions this year, but I used to always procrastinate on my Potions essays," Sophia continued, sitting on the table right over Lily's essay and crossing her legs. "You know, I once finished an essay during class the day it was due."
"Wow. We have so much in common," Lily muttered dully and Albus snickered.
"Lil, do you wanna help me get a book?" Ayla cut in, raising her eyebrows. Lily stood and followed Ayla to the shelves in the back. Ayla glanced back to make sure they were far enough away before pulling Lily aside. "Are you okay?" she asked softly, her wide eyes sympathetic.
"Why does he like her?" Lily demanded angrily, shoving her tangled hair out of her face. "I mean, I would've thought he'd go for girls he could actually hold a conversation with, not just the ones who he enjoys looking at!" She lowered herself onto one of the coffee tables in between low shelves, her voice quieting. "I guess Liam's just not who I thought he was."
Ayla sighed and sat next to her best friend. "No…he is," she began as she sat down. "But he's also a teenage boy. So, yeah, right now, he's deluded enough by the physical stuff with Sophia that he's tricked himself into thinking there's actually a future there. But, Lily, it won't last, believe me."
"Oh, I don't want him for me," Lily assured her hastily, and Ayla fought a smile. "I just don't like being obligated to spend time with Sophia."
Ayla nodded slowly, the corners of her mouth twitching.
"And maybe I want him to notice me again…he hasn't been paying much attention to his friends lately," Lily added quietly, fiddling with the ends of her hair. Ayla took her friend's hand bracingly.
"Do what you need to do, Lil. Sometimes we just need to get stuff out," she told her encouragingly, squeezing her hand. "I'll tell them you went to buy a book in Hogsmeade if you want to be alone for a little while."
Lily smiled warmly at Ayla, her eyes swimming. "You're the best, Ayla." She hugged her tightly and sniffled. "I'm going to head back to the common room."
Ayla nodded, patting her shoulder comfortingly. "I'll see you tonight, sweetie."
Lily exited the library, a grin spreading across her face as she thought of an idea.
X
Ayla and Albus walked hand-in-hand back to the common room several hours later.
"Wow, I can see how Lily doesn't like that girl," Albus commented of Sophia.
Ayla laughed once without humor. "Yeah, there's another reason Lily doesn't like her," she muttered as they entered Gryffindor Tower.
Ayla's eyes popped as Lily emerged from her dormitory, her hair chopped to her chin and dyed a dark red. The burgundy strands of hair waved edgily in an angled bob that drew attention to her darkly rimmed hazel eyes.
"Oh, my god," Ayla breathed. "Lily, you look incredible."
Lily grinned, her eyes widening proudly. "A few weeks ago, I learned a spell to darken my hair. I figured now would be a good time," she added and her smile faded slightly, clearly referring to the lack of attention she was getting from those who she wanted it from the most. Ayla hugged her, fiddling with her friend's new hair.
"It looks amazing!" she squealed.
"Do you think…other people will like it?" Lily asked apprehensively.
"For sure," Ayla said confidently. "It looks wonderful on you!"
"You look beautiful, Lil," Albus told his little sister genuinely, pulling her in for a hug.
"Thanks!" she exclaimed brightly. "I'm going to go for a walk and show people!" she announced cheerily, bouncing out of the room. The portrait hole closed behind her, leaving them alone in the common room. Ayla turned to Al immediately and kissed him. He kissed her back but stopped her reluctantly as she began unbuckling his belt.
"Ayla, we can't," he whispered. "We should do things right this time."
Ayla dropped her hands, knowing he was right but wishing he wasn't. "When are we going to?" she asked, her eyes wide in anticipation.
"When you're ready," Albus told her, taking her hands.
"I'm ready now!" she protested and he smiled at her.
"You know what I mean, Ayla," he said knowingly and she sighed.
"Can we go out after dinner tonight?" Ayla asked. "Somewhere in Hogsmeade?"
"That sounds amazing," he told her, kissing her lips. "I'll meet you back here at nine?"
"Where are you going?" Ayla asked curiously, resting her hands on his shoulders and looking up at him.
"I, uh…I want to talk to James. We're both back with who we've always been in love with and…I don't know, I think it's time he and I made up. He still student-teaches here, right?"
"Yeah, but he'd be working a shift at the Three Broomsticks by now."
"Alright, I'll find him there. Love you, baby," Albus told her, kissing her again and exiting the common room. Unbeknownst to them, Bradley quietly closed his dormitory door, his knees weakening as he sunk to the floor and tried to hold in his tears.
X X X X
Albus jammed his hands as his pockets as he headed through the chilly April air to Hogsmeade, the sky darkening as his made his way through the village. He entered through the front door of the pub, his green eyes falling on his brother pouring a drink behind the bar. He froze where he was, panic setting in as he realized that one conversation was not going to fix the past seven months with his brother. Unable to move, he stood helplessly in the doorway with wide eyes until his brother glanced up and met his stare. He felt tears obstructing his bright eyes and finally gained the courage to move his feet. He spun around and sped out the door, tearing back the path he came to return to the castle.
X
Lily hopped up the steps happily after visiting the Great Hall and getting several compliments on her hair. As she neared Gryffindor Tower, she heard Liam's voice and instantly leapt behind the corner, pressing her ear to the wall to hear the conversation.
"I still can't believe we've gone to school together for all these years, and we were never together until this year," Liam said softly.
"Liam…I've never said this to a guy before, but…I'm in love with you," Sophia's voice returned. Lily knew she should stop listening, but felt herself straining even harder to hear. Sophia's voice got teary as she continued. "I've never felt this way about someone before; I've never had someone feel like this about me, either. I've never been so happy like I am now, Liam, and I love you for that."
Liam swallowed hard to keep the tears from his voice as well. "Look, um…Sophia, I love you too, but—"
"But?" Sophia demanded and Lily heard her step back away from Liam. Lily's eyes popped as she listened closer, her head spinning, wondering what could possibly be going on.
"I really love you, Sophia, it's just that…I don't feel like this is working anymore."
"Excuse me?" Sophia demanded. "How exactly is this 'not working?' Because you seemed pretty freaking into it when we were having sex last night!"
Lily winced slightly but continued eavesdropping nonetheless.
"It has nothing to do with that, Sophia, I just…I just can't do this anymore. Please don't ask me why," he whispered, his voice breaking.
"You know what, Liam?" Sophia replied in a shaky voice. "I gave you everything. I'm sorry that it wasn't enough." She brushed past him coldly and stepped through the portrait hole. Lily emerged from around the corner, her face ashen. Liam ran his hand over his face to whisk away his tears. His eyes fell on Lily and he offered her a sad smile.
"You heard that, huh?" he asked and she nodded, approaching him slowly.
"Why did you just do that?" she wondered softly and Liam shoved his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants and looked down, scuffing his shoe against the floor.
"I, uh…I know that some people I care about don't really like us being together," he muttered evasively.
"Hugo sold me out?" Lily tried to ask lightly, but it came out sounding as broken as it felt.
"Yeah—no—maybe. Well, I'm sworn to secrecy, so—" Liam stammered awkwardly.
"Liam, I don't—sure, I wasn't her biggest fan, but I never wanted you to be unhappy," Lily explained slowly, guilt flooding through her.
"Geez, Potter, maybe I wasn't talking about you," Liam joked goofily, managing to flash her a grin. "The whole world doesn't revolve around you, you know," he continued playfully and she smiled, looking down. "By the way, did you change your hair?"
Lily looked up and flicked her hair out of her eyes, smiling softly. "Yeah, it's no big deal…" she murmured quietly as she looked at the boy in front of her who was barely holding back his tears. "Shorter, darker…I figured it was time for a change."
"No, I like it…" Liam told her in a shy, sincere voice. "It looks good."
She gave him a small sad smile. "Thanks, Liam."
"I'm, uh, I'm just gonna go to my dorm. It's getting late and I'm a little tired. G'night, Lil."
"Yeah, goodnight," she murmured back, but the portrait had already swung shut.
"That's one heartbroken young boy," the fat lady commented.
"Yeah, tell me about it," Lily muttered, lowering herself to sit down on the steps.
X
Liam crossed the common room, his weary eyes aching with suppressed tears. He opened his dormitory door to a dark room, but by the sliver of moonlight streaming through the window he could see Brad sitting on the floor gazing out the window, his arms around his knees and a bottle of whiskey in his hand. The floorboards creaked as Liam approached him, sitting across from his best friend. Brad did not look at him but passed him the whiskey knowingly. Liam took a long, deep drink as Brad reached out slowly and clapped him on the shoulder, gripping him bracingly. Liam passed the bottle back, dropping his head into his hands and shaking as he attempted to hold in his tears. He squeezed Bradley's arm in acknowledgment, somewhat comforted by the knowledge that somebody in the world was torn apart just like he was.
X
Albus sat atop the astronomy tower, staring up at the sky, his eyes filling with tears, a sickening twist in his stomach. He heard footsteps darting up the steps behind him and turned to see James emerging from the doorway. He turned back around silently, forcing his tears back with no idea what to say to his brother. James hopped up onto the ledge to sit beside him, handing him a glass of firewhiskey and sipping from his own as they both stared out into the distance.
"Wanna tell me what that was?" James asked quietly and Albus looked down.
"No, I think I'd rather fall from here and get speared on that flagpole than have that conversation," Albus replied simply and James chuckled.
"You know," he began, pausing to sip his firewhiskey, "if you want to put this behind us, you could just say that."
"Seriously?" Albus asked in amazement. "I thought…I mean I never expected you to forgive me."
"Please, when's the last time I tried to start a fight with anyone?" James joked and Albus raised his eyebrows until both boys laughed at James's comment. "No, but seriously, mate, I'm back in Cindy's and Leah's lives, and I couldn't be happier. What's done is done; it's in the past. If you can forgive me for all the horrible crap I said to you…I'd like nothing more than to be your big brother again."
"Big?" Albus scoffed, using humor to disguise his flooding eyes. "Please, you're like six and a half feet of pure bone," he teased, punching his brother's skinny arm.
"Don't make me throw you off this balcony," James threatened jokingly and Albus laughed, bumping James's shoulder with his own. James held out his hand and Albus shook it and the moon shone down upon them as their glasses clinked together lightly.
