A/N: Prepare yourselves. This is a lot longer than normal, but I loved writing this chapter. More at the bottom.
-Addie-
The minute after I was away from them, I started to cry.
I had transported myself back to the boat, right where I was ordered not to stray too far from. I went straight to the stables because I wanted to avoid everyone. How was I going to explain everything? I hadn't thought this far ahead. I just knew what I had to do to protect everyone, and I did it. I fell to my knees, all the emotions catching up to me. I curled up into the tightest ball I could imagine.
What had I done?
The look on Orion's face was awful. How could I betray him like that? He was my brother, someone who protected me and watched over me. He didn't have any doubt that I would side with him. Part of me wanted to. The gods deserved it, but Gaia was just too evil. My brother was just lost in his rage and pain. He had been blinded by his emotions, unable to see the truth in front of him. My brother had always had a short temper. He acted first before thinking. That's what I had always been there for, to think about the consequences for him so he didn't do anything rash. This was not his fault. I had to find a way to get my brother out of this mess. That was, if I lived.
I fully expected the gods to smite me. I expected them to summon me to them and order me to go after the kraken or something that would surely kill me. Surprisingly, my head remained blissfully pain-free. Not a single order or command came my way in those hours. I knew I couldn't just get away with snapping on them like that. However, I did not regret it. The guilt and shame that I saw on their faces when I said my part was worth it. They should be ashamed of what they did to me. Of what they did to Ry…
"Addie?"
Percy's voice traveled down the stairs to me, but I couldn't stand to face him at the moment. He would want to know what had happened, and I couldn't face it yet. I didn't want to admit what I did. I knew I did the right thing, and I would stand by it. It did not change how painful the consequences were. The saying was that the right path wasn't always the easy one, and whoever came up with that shit was certainly right. I cast a spell to block the door, to prevent anyone from coming down.
"Addie," I heard him plead. "Let me in, please."
I just chose to ignore him. The only people I had to listen to now were silent, and I had no idea how long it would stay that way. Percy called for me for a few more moments, and Annabeth and Leo tried as well. I couldn't talk to them, not yet.
Eventually, I exhausted myself into a deep sleep. I started to dream, my thoughts drifting into an abyss. I found myself in an empty room, a bright light shining down around me. I ran, trying to find an exit, but nothing was there. There was only darkness. I yelled into the void, desperate for any type of company. No sound came. I was alone….alone forever…
I shot up in the hay, my breathing wildly out of control. I fought the panic in my chest. It was threatening to consume me, like a wave I couldn't hold back. I brought my knees to my chest and rested my head against it. It was the same dream I had many times before. It reminded me of what I already feared: that I was truly alone in this world. I didn't have any one left. My brother had just disowned me, my godly parent had to ignore me, and my family was dead. Sure, I had friends and a half-brother, but I feared that if I let them in, they would just get hurt. A single tear fell down my cheek. My eyes felt swollen and raw from the past few days, and my mind and body were aching. It hurt to keep crying. The ache in my chest was not letting up. It was consuming me, like a black hole. I didn't want to be alone. I needed a friend, someone who would understand what I was going through. I didn't want someone who would tell me everything was okay because it wasn't. I needed hope that it would be though, hope that this wasn't just a tragedy, that some happiness was waiting for me. A name popped in my head, and my heart began screaming for him. It wasn't smart, but what did I care if it was or not? Supposedly, I was going to die anyways, so what did it matter if I indulged in my hopes for a short time? The doubt raged in my head. If I called him, would he come? I was at the end of my rope, and I had to find out.
"Apollo," I whispered desperately. "I-I need you. P-please."
I just couldn't stand it anymore, and as upset I was at him, I wanted him here. I didn't know if he would listen, and I wouldn't blame him if he didn't. Seconds stretched into minutes, and then longer…the fleeting bit of hope I had faded. He was probably busy with some god thing anyways. It was stupid to hope, stupid to think that he cared…
But then I heard the crunch of feet on the hay. Strong arms wrapped themselves around me, pulling me to them. His familiar scent filled me, comforting me in a way nothing else could. My arms went around his neck, holding him to me. His hand laced into my hair, and his other hand rubbed my back soothingly.
"You came," I whispered to him.
"Of course, Addie. I promised you I would," he murmured softly. He just held me. I had run out of tears a long time ago, but he helped me get through the panic. Gradually, my breathing started to slow, and I felt my energy completely leave me. I was so tired; mentally and physically I had just been through too much. Apollo shifted me so I was lying against his chest. My head rested against his shoulder, and both of his arms held me tightly to him. Every so often, he would touch his lips to my temple, and my hands gripped into him. I needed him like I needed air to breathe, embarrassed as I was to admit it, even to myself.
"You haven't been sleeping here, have you?" he questioned. "I thought you had a bed?"
I shook my head, "Just this time. I've been taking whoever's bed was free on watches." He lifted me in his arms, cradling me against him.
"What-" I started.
"You need some sleep," he acknowledged.
"But the others," I protested.
"Euadne, you've done enough for everyone today. How about you take care of yourself for a change? Nothing's going to happen to them before morning, I promise."
I nodded my head sleepily. He took my hand in his, gripping it tightly. "Take us to my place. Use whatever strength of mine you need."
I concentrated on the place I had left not too long ago. The world tilted, and when I opened my eyes, we were back in Apollo's penthouse. He carried me to his bed, depositing me into it. Sleep was quickly overcoming me. He pulled the covers up around me, but my hand reached for him. I held on to his arm, and he gently touched my cheek.
"Stay," I murmured sleepily. "I don't want to be alone."
I felt the bed dip, and his arms wrapped around me. I turned into him, and his warmth radiating through me. I wasn't thinking about my brother. I wasn't thinking about the revenge the gods or Gaia would surely have upon me. I wasn't thinking about how I could get my heart broken with Apollo or how it didn't matter because of the prophecy. I only thought about how wonderful this felt, and how comfortable I was. For now, I wanted to be okay, and in his arms, I was. I quickly sank into a dreamless sleep, safe and sound in his embrace.
The storm was what woke me.
Lightning lit up the sky, flashing through the room. Apollo's place had a huge glass window that overlooked the city. Thunder quickly followed, making me jump instinctively. The storm wasn't mine, which meant it had to be…
"Addie, calm down," Apollo's voice said softly. I turned in his arms, looking at him. His thumb brushed my cheek, sending delightful tingles in its wake. "It's just a normal storm. Nothing to do with you."
I nodded my head, watching the rain hit the windows. The sound of the drops on the glass was strangely comforting. I always liked storms, excluding the lightning storms Zeus caused when he was angry. There was a lot of beauty and power to them. I sat up and eased my feet over the edge of the bed. Apollo got up, walking around the other side to me. I felt disgusting. I realized I was in the same clothes I had been in when I left Apollo's two days ago. My whole body ached all over from the fight with my brother and from Gaia's spell. My mind felt like it had been put through a blender, my thoughts so scattered it was impossible to think clearly.
"How long did I sleep?"
"About eight hours. It's still night in Greece," he explained. I nodded my head to show him I was listening, but all I could think about was how I was probably covered in bruises and how much I ached. He offered me his hand, which I accepted.
"Showers always help," he supplied with a small smile. My lips turned up in response.
"Thank you," I sighed. He gave me a quick squeeze of my hand, leaving me alone in his bedroom.
After my shower and summoning some fresh clothes, I wandered into his main room. The scent of coffee and fresh rain filled the air, and my stomach growled annoyingly. I was still too unsettled to eat, but that coffee smelled heavenly. I sat down at the bar, and Apollo turned, holding two mugs of the steaming liquid in his hands. He set one in front of me, which I wrapped my hands around eagerly. Despite the heat of the shower, I felt cold and empty inside. I lifted the cup to my lips, tasting the amazing combination of coffee and caramel.
"Caramel Macchiato, right?" he questioned as he sat on the stool next to mine. "That's your favorite?"
"Is this a peace-offering?" I raised my eyebrows, shooting him a sideways glance. I saw the smile touch his face, but it didn't reach his eyes.
"Maybe," he admitted.
"Well, it's a pretty good one," I reasoned before taking another sip. We sat in silence for a few minutes, and slowly, the warmth from the coffee filled me. Or maybe it was Apollo. He was sitting pretty close to me.
"That was one of the bravest and most noble things I had ever seen anyone do."
I turned in my seat to look at him. I couldn't describe the way he looked at me. He rotated in his seat, our knees brushing against each other.
"Can you ever forgive me?"
"I'm here, aren't I?" I pointed out. I looked down at my knees, avoiding his penetrating gaze. Staring into his eyes made me feel both strong and weak at the same time. Strong, because he looked at me like I could do anything, but weak because of how scattered and inferior I felt. "Yes, I forgive you. You actually apologized." I reached for the mug, taking another swig. I looked up from just a second, our eyes meeting. His gaze was smoldering, and I felt the blush steal across my cheeks.
"Addie, I want to tell you something, and I know you are going to want to interrupt me, but you can't okay? Don't say a word until I finish."
The command hit me, and I nodded my head, curious about what he felt was so important to say. I looked up at him, and his gaze had turned perfectly blank.
"The last night you were here, when you were abhorrently drunk, you said some things to me that I haven't been able to stop thinking about."
Oh, gods. The heat rushed into my cheeks, and I was decently sure I would die with embarrassment. I couldn't remember anything that happened past them coming into the bar. I was probably rude, uncouth, and embarrassingly honest. There was no telling what had come out of my mouth. I wanted to apologize, to tell him I didn't mean a word of it.
"I know you don't remember what you said, but I want to tell you. You called us out, and you were absolutely, one hundred percent right. I'm already explained all of that to you. It was wrong what we did, and I want to apologize to you once again. I will spend every day for the rest of my existence trying to make up for the wrongs I have done to you, and it probably still will not suffice…You also spoke about your feelings for me."
I was mortified. I bit my bottom lip, and I wanted to punch something. Damn me and my drunken honesty! Now, I would look like nothing more than a stupid, love-struck mortal. I looked down at my feet, wishing that the world would swallow me whole. Maybe I should have gone with my brother. At least I could have avoided this.
"You told me that you were furious with me, and that you liked me way more than you should," he continued, his voice taking a gentle tone. "You said that you feared me because you knew with a god, it would never last. I can't deny that you are wrong. We do not have a very good track record with our relationships, mortal or immortal. There are so many aspects to us, so many warring tendencies. I know one thing, Euadne. In my whole existence, I had never felt about another being how I feel about you."
I looked up at him. I knew the shock was clear on my face. He reached for my hands, taking them in his own.
"I've seen your fears, Addie. Ares, others getting hurt because of you, your power… they are all very real and understandable. I knew of these. The one I was so blindly oblivious to was the easiest one to fix. You should never feel alone, Addie. There are many people who care for you. For almost one thousand years now, I have watched you. You are brave and kind. You fight for what is right, and you give second chances when you shouldn't. Your empathy and compassion should have epics written about them, for there is no measure in this world. You love and care for others without any question, and its time someone did the same for you. You are unlike anyone I have ever met. I want you, Addie. Not for a night, not even for a year; I want you for the rest of my existence." He paused and took a deep breath. "Addie, I'm in love with you."
The mug fell from my hands, but Apollo caught it before it could hit the floor. I looked up at him, my eyes widening substantially. I stood up, and took a step back from him. He had to be joking. Did he just say love? Gods never, ever used that word. I shook my head, and I wanted to say something but nothing would come out of my mouth. He stood with me, looking at me in earnest.
"I know you are inclined to not believe me, and I understand. Our actions haven't exactly restored your faith in immortals have they? The reason I never said anything has nothing to do with fleeting feelings. Honestly, you are too good for me. After everything we, I, have done to you, how could you ever come to feel the same? You should hate us, and for a very good reason. I would not take away your choice like Ares. But you said you still cared for me, after everything, and it gave me hope. I want nothing more than the chance to make it up to you to prove to you how much I truly care."
He walked towards me, and I was frozen in shock. He held me gently but firmly, his thumbs stroking my cheeks.
"You were right about us, what you said to the demigods. I was listening to you. You have made an impact, and I will pray that one day I can be worthy of your trust once more. I will spend the rest of my existence trying to prove that, regardless of whether you ever feel the same. And I can start with giving you this."
He took a deep breath, and placed his hand over my heart. His other hand held my shoulder, keeping me in place. I had no idea what he was about to do, but I found that I wasn't worried.
"Euadne Cyra Aurelius Maximus, I release my hold on you. Your will shall no longer be bound to me. I will no longer be able to command you to do my will."
A small trickle of warmth flowed through me, and I knew. Apollo just lifted his control over me.
HOLY SHIT.
"I will never force or command you to do something again. At least with me, you have your freedom back."
He took a step back, and looked at me with sad eyes. He looked at me kind of like, Hello, you know my command earlier doesn't apply, you can say something now, but I just stood and looked at him.
I did not realize until that moment how much I cared for him. He may not have told me, and he may have made a huge mistake. He apologized, and he was spending every moment trying to make up for it. How was this different from a person? The gods still had human qualities about them. People make mistakes. The true measure of a person was how they handled them. He took a big risk doing this for me. He could be punished, and for the first time in a long time, someone did something for me, ignoring the possible repercussions from it. It was something selfless, something I had thought a god was incapable of. And it was for me.
I loved Apollo. It was not smart, but I didn't care. If I had learned anything from the Fates, it was that I had to live and make my own choices. I didn't know how much time I had, but I knew what I wanted.
I did not know what to say, so I walked the few steps to him and flung my arms around him. I kissed him, and I felt his surprise. His own quickly responded, pressing me against him. I was trying to tell him what I couldn't say. Fire and desire were raging inside of me. I could feel the storm intensify, and I knew that had something to do with me. All I wanted was him. We backed up, and I felt the counter hit my back. He lifted me on the counter, so my face was level with his. He reached for me, crushing me against his torso, so I could feel every deliciously firm inch of him against me. He had turned his attention to my neck, sending shivers all over my body. I hadn't felt this alive or full of passion in years. My legs curled around him, and my breaths came in pants. His hands were at my waist, inching around the small of my back. He pressed them against my skin, and the heat felt absolutely wonderful. I was painfully aware of where his hands were, and I wanted to feel that all over.
"I wasn't expecting this kind of reaction," he murmured against my neck. I couldn't help but laugh.
"What did you expect?" I wondered.
"Honestly," he said pulling back to look at me. "For you to yell at me."
"I thought about it," I responded slyly. He rolled his eyes, and I rested my forehead against his shoulder, his wonderful smell filling me. "Thank you. You don't know how much this means to me." He just smiled, the lightning catching his eyes as it flashed.
"You are most welcome," he murmured, kissing my cheek. "Now, you've got about an hour before you have to go back, and I wasn't finished with our make-up discussion quite yet. So, get off that counter."
"No," I responded sweetly. He raised his eyebrows at me, and I was amazed at the absence of pain in my head. I stood my ground, looking innocently back at him.
"I can be very convincing," he reassured me.
"That's what I was hoping for."
A/N: TA DA! Was that up to your expectations? I hope so. This chapter was a joy to write. Addie probably let him off easy, but that's in her nature... *sigh* I'll leave you with that because this is long enough anyways.
PS- I'm in class while I edited this, so if I missed something, I apologize.
Please leave a review! They make my day! :D
