4-30-11

Dear Twilight,

It's funny that you would say that Edward was "So amazingly awesome and hott (insert fangirl squeal here)!" Just a note, vampires are dead- no heart beat. They are actually cold.

Aside from that, we'd very much like to clear this up. Edward is actually a pedophile who gets no action from the boys he has the hots for, ie: Mike (It's totally obvious). He got so desperate to get laid that he sunk as far as he could- Bella Swan. And you know what happened to him? He got saddled with a kid that he wanted to abort.

Hmm... Yes, we can see how such a man would be attractive to you.

At least our pedophile was at one point attractive and actually got the hot boy he was after. Thank you Harry/Voldemort fanfictions.

Sincerely,

Harry Potter Fanfiction Lovers