New Meanings to Old Words: LOVE

I think I first off have to apologize to all of you who so wonderfully support this fic and all that I have offered. There's a lot of LIFE going on right now…the one I'm raising, the one I'm carrying inside of me and the one I'm trying to lead without getting lost in all the rest that's going on. I had a scare and landed in the hospital for a few days not long ago, and have been focusing a great deal on getting myself healthy and keeping the little one inside of me healthy (two more months to go so fingers crossed that it's smooth sailing from here). I haven't had much time to think straight and while this is my outlet I've been finding it harder and harder to get into a groove and out of the whole of CRAP that I've dug myself into as of late. So take this as my apology and know that I'm going to try and get this up and rolling again, because I so want to finish this part of the story so that we can all move on to bigger and brighter and better things.

That shit said….let's move the fuck on shall we folks?

So this was going to be part of the next chapter…but the way it was unfolding in my head just said…nah split it up. Make it another chapter and move the fuck on. And while I know you're expecting the Rick/Shane goodness of 18 miles out… but don't worry, there's a method to the madness my friends.

Hope you all enjoy, and again, thanks for sticking with me as I struggle through LIFE in order to get these out to you. As always, read, review and most of all enjoy (I mean that's why you're here after all isn't it?)

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Callie and the crew of misfits (and all their grand little side adventures). G'bless.

Starving in the Belly of the Whale

They stood upon the porch of the Greene farm house, all of them watching as Rick and Shane drove off to 'deal with the Randall situation'. An uneasy silence settled between all of them as the cool wind of the growing Fall morning blew around them, an unwelcome reminder that the hard parts were only just beginning. Callie shifted on her feet and tightened her fingers in the fabric of her back pockets before rocking back and letting her gaze fall to where Dale stood not far off shaking his head in silent dissent at the way things had played out. They shared a frown before Dale let out a long sigh and exited the porch heading off towards the RV settled in the distance.

"I will never understand him," Lori uttered quietly, causing Callie's attention to shift away from the older man and over to where the woman was standing at her right. Lori's eyes remained on the dust that had been kicked up by the wheels of the car that had just left and Callie's brows raised waiting for the woman to continue. "He shouldn't be the one -" Lori cut herself off and let her hands fall away from her body before she slipped her eyes to Callie beside her. "It doesn't always need to be him."

"He brought him here," Carl's voice echoed out and both Lori and Callie were turning to face the boy settled near the steps of the porch. His blue eyes held the familiar steel of his father's gaze as he stared at his mother and Callie firmed her lips as she watched Carl's eyes shift awkwardly under his mother's stare. "Danny was right," Carl said quietly finally shifting his eyes away from his mother's surprised stare. "Dad shoulda left him there. Shoulda let him die."

With that Carl shifted away from the railing and trotted down the steps to head towards where Ben was sitting at the small communal eating area set up near the RV with Dale. Callie watched him go feeling her mouth hanging slightly open and she shook herself slightly before snapping it shut again.

"That is exactly why he needs to be here," Lori said through a tightly clenched jaw as she met Callie's gaze. She shook her head and raised a defeated hand to the figure of her son walking along the grass. "I don't know what to do with that. I just -" Lori sighed loudly and blew at the fringe of her bangs settled along her bruised brow letting her arms fall defeated at her sides. She shifted her gaze briefly over to Callie again, her head still shaking idly, before turning away and heading into the house.

Callie watched her figure until she disappeared and then shifted her eyes back towards the slowly dispersing remainder of their group as they all slid out their separate ways. After a few moments of staring off at the empty roadway she slipped her hands out of her back pockets and settled them to the railing in front of her. Callie's fingers clenched just a bit before she let her knees bend her body into a crouch so that she could rest her pounding forehead against the cool, slightly damp wooden slats below the railing. She closed her eyes and took in a few deep breaths, working to settle her own nerves and prepare herself for what was sure as fuck turning out to be a long day.

The sound of shuffling feet on the ground below and the tapping of something against where her forehead peeked through the slats had her eyes slowly opening. The dark skinned fingers of T-Dog holding a pack of cigarettes almost too close in her field of vision had her head lifting from the wood. The tilt of one of the man's dark brows coupled with the slight smirking frown-if there was such a thing-settled upon his lips had her smiling as he waved the pack back and forth before her eyes.

"There's a sight for sore eyes," Callie mumbled meeting his eyes briefly before pushing to her feet and staring down at him over the railing. T-Dog huffed out a bit of a laugh and reached the pack up to her already reaching fingers.

"Look like you need 'em more than me," T-Dog muttered as he settled his back against the porch and stared off towards their camp. Callie grunted in response and flicked out two cigarettes before settling her elbows upon the railing. She tapped a finger to T-Dog's head and he looked up at the offered cigarette with a smile and a wave of his hand. "Nah. Tryin' to quit. That shit'll kill ya."

"Kinda the lesser of the evils nowadays," Callie said in return offering the cigarette again. He waved her off and she shrugged at him before slipping her fingers into her front pocket where she always kept her lighter.

The flicker of the small flame of the lighter extinguished and Callie took a long lingering drag off of the cigarette in her mouth as she stared off at the surrounding area. She took in each and every section of it, the homey feel that they'd been able to accomplish with the simple placement of a few tents and that damn RV. It was almost ridiculous, and if she was being completely honest, a bit ominous in how much it resembled the set up that they'd made at the Quarry.

Callie let the smoke filter through her slightly parted lips and twiddled her lighter between her fingers as she let her mind shift and sway with the cool lingering breeze of the morning. Her eyes remained on the outlying camp and the buildings of the farm, but her mind was a million different places and different times.

"Why are you still here, T?" Callie muttered as she lifted her cigarette back to her lips for another drag.

"I got some options I ain't aware of?" T-Dog retorted as he tossed her another fleeting sarcastic look over his shoulder. They shared a smile and a chuckle before both returned their gazes to the land before them.

"You know what I mean," Callie muttered, her cigarette bouncing on her lips as she spoke. T-Dog grunted an affirmative sound and she slipped her eyes over to where his head was lightly bobbing.

"Could ask you the same thing," T-Dog said after a beat, his eyes again shifting back to her. She held his gaze as he stared at her. Finally he sighed and shifted on his feet, his eyes sliding to where his arm was still bandaged from the incident on the highway. An incident that seemed so long ago now that it was hard to think it had barely been a few weeks. "Makes more sense to ask you. You got family out there; a brother that you have a lead on actually findin'. Me. After everthing, all I had was Jacqui and Jim," T-Dog paused then, his lips firming as he fought whatever feelings still lingered about the fate of his two friends and Callie lowered her gaze to the ground and waited. "These people are the only family I got left now." Callie grunted at that and he sent her a smirk. "This group's 'bout as happy and close-knit as any other family I've ever known. All of us bitchin' and moanin' 'bout what 'dad' and 'mom' say we got to do," his eyes shifted over his shoulder to her and he smirked while she lifted her middle finger at him. "I woulda been dead on that highway if I'd been alone. Woulda been dead if not for Daryl bein' there. You askin' for a reason?"

"No," Callie muttered, bouncing her cigarette along her lips from one side of her mouth to the other. She felt T-Dog's eyes on her as she stared out at the fields around them and finally caught his eye. "Just seem to be spending too much of my time thinking too hard 'bout shit that really ain't worth the consideration."

T-Dog nodded his head twice before shifting his eyes away and out towards the surrounding fields. It was a beautiful, crisp morning, and probably would have been more so if not for the lingering sense of unease still in the air. Callie sucked in another drag off her cigarette as her eyes caught onto something in the distance. The sight of the two figures, too far away to really be distinguishable, but too fuckin' discernible in their own right not to be figured out fucking immediately, cutting across the lawn and towards the wooded area had her chin lifting slightly.

"Thought Rick said for everyone to stay put," T-Dog muttered from where he stood and she slipped her eyes to his as he cast them over his shoulder and up at her. She smirked at the smile sliding slowly across his lips and nodded as she shifted her cigarette to the corner of her mouth.

"Yeah, you wanna go out there and tell 'em that?" Callie said tossing a flippant hand out at the distant figures slowly being swallowed by the dim forest. T-Dog barked out a laugh and shook his head waving a hand at her as he turned back towards where Daryl and Miles had disappeared.

"Fuck no, that's all you, Callie," T-Dog's humored tone had a smile raking across Callie's features even though she wanted to frown. The feeling was short-lived for both of them though as after a moment of silence T-Dog spoke up again, his own misgivings about things shining through even as he tried to push them away. "Where they goin'?"

"They're makin' sure we're still as alone as we think we are," Callie returned quietly as she slumped her weight forward onto her elbows as they settled on the railing. The memory of her discussion with Daryl and Miles about them sticking around while Rick was gone; about the former sheriff's deputy's worries at what could be heading their way, still fresh in her mind.

"Fuck," T-Dog said through his teeth before raking a thick fingered hand over his bald head. His eyes again flickered over his shoulder and met hers and he firmed his lips tight before speaking again. "Maybe I should go with 'em. Just in case."

"No. They can handle whatever they find," Callie said letting her eyes slip back out to the spot that the two men had disappeared into. She stared for a moment longer before shaking her head at herself. A moment later she pushed off of her elbows and stood up straight, cigarette firmly held between her lips as she walked purposefully towards the stairs. T-Dog's eyes followed her, his own body pushing off of where he had been resting against the lower edge of the porch. "Rick's right, we all need to stay close to the farm and make sure we keep eyes on everything. We need to be proactive."

T-Dog nodded as he met her at the bottom of the stairs, his eyes slipping out briefly to where Daryl and Miles had disappeared before heading back to her. Callie settled her hands on the holster at her hips and glared into the growing sunlight for a moment, her hand lifting to shield her eyes as she slid her eyes around the area. Bouncing her cigarette to the other corner of her mouth she snarled a bit at the entire fucking situation before shifting her eyes to the waiting man beside her.

"Grab Glenn and Andrea," Callie said finally watching as T-Dog's eyes lifted in mild surprise before settling back into a questioning look. "Take a walk around the property, not too far off, but far enough to do a good sweep. Then get Andrea up on the roof of the porch here, I'll send Ben up in a bit to help her. Two watch-posts are better than one now I'd think. "

"Andrea? You sure 'bout that?" T-Dog asked, his brow furrowing at her words and the memory of the woman's last stint at watch duty.

"She's the best shot outta the lot of us," Callie said in a firm tone holding T-Dog's gaze. "So yeah, I'm fuckin' sure I want her looped into this shit." T-Dog's lips firmed at her words but he gave her a stiff nod. "Give him a few more minutes of breathing time and then loop Danny's ass in on it, and give him something to do. That fucker's idle hands worry me," Callie continued on a sigh as she rubbed at her temple. T-Dog smirked and scoffed out his agreement before shifting his shoulders and nodding his head. "Set up a schedule, work it out between the few of you. Until Rick and Shane get back this place is on fuckin' lockdown. Arm yourselves. I don't want any surprises. You see Walkers, take 'em out. You see anything else, you come find me. Got it?"

"Yeah, I got it," T-Dog said forcefully as he wiped his hands along his thighs. His eyes remained locked on the side of her face, and she briefly met his eyes before settling her eyes back in front of her. Callie sniffed and gave a single stiff nod before heading off. "Where you gonna be?"

"RV," Callie said tightly, shaking her head and looking back at him. "Gonna have a little chat with Master Grimes." T-Dog nodded again and then shifted to head up the stairs. Callie watched him for a second before turning back towards the RV. She had taken two steps before she heard T-Dog call out to her again.

"Hey Cal," T-Dog said, and she turned to find him smiling at her slightly from the top of the porch stairs. "It's good to have you back," he said holding her gaze for a moment. She knew people probably thought her behavior these past few days she'd exiled herself from the house as odd, but she never thought past that point. Never really thought about what they assumed was going on. As she looked at T-Dog she got an idea of what the quiet black man considered and it made her frown as he continued. "You ever think 'bout headin' out on your own for real, you make sure to pick my black-ass up first. Got it?"

"Yeah, I got it," Callie said smiling back and then waving him off towards the house. Callie shook her head and worked her way towards the RV. At the bottom of the ladder she shifted her eyes around and then tossed the smoldering remains of her cigarette to the ground at her feet.

Taking a deep breath Callie prepared herself for what was sure to be a long fucking day. 18 miles. That's as far as Rick and Shane were supposed to be going. Not far at all really. But in the world they lived in now, anything and everything could happen no matter where you were.

The chill of the morning hadn't yet been burned off by that barest hint of sunlight that Daryl could make out breaking through the branches of the trees around them, making it pretty clear that the shift in weather was finally here to stay. And as Daryl shifted his shoulders in the layers of clothes he was wearing and watched Miles thrash away at the underbrush around them with that fuckin' bat of his, he knew that the change of the weather wasn't the only thing causin' that shiver of unease that had seemed to settle upon their entire crew.


Daryl's eyes shifted behind him towards where he knew the farm was, and then back to Miles. Everyone's minds were scattered around the fuckin' what-ifs that had been plaguing them for days now. What-ifs that had started the day they found Sophia in that barn. What-ifs that were supposed to be slipping away now that Rick and Shane had finally taken that fuckin' kid out to God knew where. What-ifs that Daryl knew, now that they'd been put out there, weren't gonna be goin' away any time soon.

What-ifs that had settled deep into all of them and were slowly breakin' their close knit group apart.

Daryl shifted his shoulders again and adjusted the familiar weight of his crossbow in his hands before letting his eyes roam around them. They'd been out here for maybe an hour, silently stalking the woods at the edge of the roadway onto the property, lookin' for any signs that their little safe haven away from the horror of the world around them had been compromised.

They broke through the thicket of branches before them and both shared a simple nod before settling their feet to the roadway. Shifting his eyes up and down the empty sunlit road that led away from the farm and towards the town not far off Daryl sighed and shifted his crossbow in his hands. That simple shiver down his spine and chill that would go away keepin' him from putting the weapon at his back for even a moment.

The only thing they'd run into were a few lanky, barely held together undead fuckers that Daryl had been able to easily take out before Miles had been able to raise his bat. But still, in this world, anything could happen at any time. Daryl's eyes rolled at the sound of Miles' bat smashing into another bunch of branches and twigs and he sighed as he shifted his eyes around them again. Apparently the kid was in need of smashing somethin', and Daryl was kinda regrettin' not lettin' him get out some of his frustrations on them Walkers. Just as he was about to shout at the kid for makin' so much damn noise and just fuckin' say what was on his mind, the kid spoke.

"You think they're out here," Miles said shifting his eyes around and taking in the forest area around them. Daryl eyed him and Miles shrugged a bit before letting his bat once again thrash into a branch nearby. Miles shifted his eyes back towards Daryl when he didn't answer and apparently thought he fuckin' needed to clarify. "Randall's people…"

Daryl stared at the kid for another second before shifting and heading off down the road leavin' the boy to huff out his annoyance and follow. After a few seconds, Daryl spared the kid a single look as he once again shifted his crossbow in his slightly clammy hands and shrugged his shoulders.

"Don't matter," Daryl said as he shifted his eyes forward again and continued his slow progress down the road. He heard Miles' footsteps come to an abrupt halt and then pick back up with a bit more force than before. Daryl stopped and turned to meet the kid's wide-eyed expression straight on, knowing what was coming and ready for it.

"The fuck you mean it don't matter?" Miles spat out, his mouth seemingly moving too fast for his mind as it continued to open and close a bit as his eyes darted over Daryl's passive face. Daryl shrugged again and shifted his eyes away to check out the sound of leaves moving off to the side of the road. "Of course it matters. What the fuck we doin' out here then if it don't matter, man?"

"We're out here," Daryl said putting emphasis on the 'we're' aspect and causing Miles' brow to lift. "'Cause you were giving me a damn headache with your fuckin' sighin' and pacin', -fuckin' silent pissin' an' moanin', after Callie left to go back to the house. We're out here so you can get that the fuck outta your system so I can have some damn peace for a few hours."

"Fuck you," Miles muttered, his eyes lowering to the ground as he swung out and smacked at the air with his bat. Daryl scoffed out a laugh and eyed the kid for a second before shifting his gaze away again. "I'm perfectly fine with stickin' around here. If that's what Callie wants to do then that's what we do. I ain't got a problem."

"Bullshit," Daryl said as he lifted a single brow at Miles. The kid's mouth opened, no doubt to tell him more about how he was just fuckin' fine with how things was shakin' out and Daryl just shook his head.

"Ain't bullshit."

"Kid, I been wadin' through bullshit since before I could fuckin' walk straight," Daryl muttered back, keeping his eyes locked on Miles as he shook his head. "I know it when I hear it. So just save it," Daryl waved his hand around and Miles let out a disgruntled breath. Daryl eyed the kid for a second before moving the conversation along. "It don't matter who the fuck is out there. Could be Randall's group. Could be fuckin' Walkers. Don't matter. Ain't nowhere that's safe anymore, stupid of anyone to forget that."

"The farm's safe," Miles responded slowly, his eyes angling back the way they'd come. "Safe enough. At least Rick wants it to be. Wants us to stay the winter." Miles' eyes shifted back to Daryl and Daryl nodded his head a bit. "You thinkin' 'bout leaving?"

"Ain't goin' nowhere," Daryl huffed out in an agitated tone as he turned away from the kid. He heard Miles scoff out a bit of a laugh and turned just in time to see the wide grin spreading across the kid's features.

"Not without Callie," Miles said as his grin grew a bit more and Daryl snarled at him.

"Yeah well her ass ain't goin' nowhere either, so-fuck you," Daryl huffed out at the still slightly chuckling kid.

"But if we did?" Miles asked as he followed slowly behind Daryl along the road. "If we left, to go find Bobby, or Jake…you'd come?"

"Ain't happenin' so it don't fuckin' matter," Daryl growled low in his throat. He didn't want to admit that the kid had hit upon pretty much the one topic that Daryl didn't want to get into. He was already two-steps out the door so-to-speak anyway, ready to leave that broken-ass group to fend for its damn self and head out on his own. Find his fuckin' brother and be done with all the bullshit.

But he knew that whatever change had occurred between him and Callie, and Callie and her misfit kids-Miles fuckin' included- she wasn't gonna be leaving to find her brother anytime soon. Wasn't gonna take them kids away from that fadin' dream of safety provided at that farm. No matter how much she wanted to find her brother, he saw that a little part of her coming to grips with the way this new world worked.

New priorities.

New families.

No lingering on the past or what might still be out there.

And while Daryl knew that Callie wouldn't ever believe her brother was dead. Not until she saw him dead with her own fuckin' eyes. He knew she wasn't goin' to be out there riskin' her life and the lives of those kids. Not after what she told him had gone down with Ben after her and Lori did their little rescue attempt.

No, there wasn't any way Callie was gonna be leavin' this farm now. Proof positive in her quick jump to the helm of the ship as Rick and Shane scuttled off this mornin'. No she wasn't leavin'. Danny on the other hand was another story…

And him… well, that's just shit Daryl didn't want to come to terms with yet. And no matter how much the group was breakin' apart at the seams, and how tempting it was to just say 'fuck it all' and head out on his own little mission to find Merle, he knew that he wouldn't. Knew it, but wasn't 'bout to fuckin' admit it. Because just as much as Callie wasn't ready to admit the changes in her, Daryl was even less so.

Daryl shifted his feet and he and Miles settled back into the comfort of their little perimeter check. Both of them workin' their eyes along the tree line at either side of the road. Both of them ready for a little fuckin' action to ease their tension-filled nerves. The rustling of the leaves on the branches had Daryl's eyes shifting left and right at an almost sickening pace, and even though the tension of what might be out there lurking had him wound tighter than he had been in weeks, he felt fuckin' great.

Felt good. Felt at ease bein' away from the idiocy of camp for a while. And as he shifted his eyes to the brat keepin' a steady pace to his left, he realized he felt completely at ease. Miles may have been a fuckin' loud-mouth at times, but the survival instinct in him and the growin' that he'd done in that short time since they left the Quarry had changed the kid completely.

Daryl smirked just a bit as the ease of the moment reminded him of being at the Quarry with-

"Do you think Merle could be with 'em?" Miles' voice rang out and Daryl stopped on a fuckin' dime to stare at the kid. Miles' mouth opened and he started clarifyin' again and Daryl's head was shakin'. "Randall's-"

"I know who you fuckin' meant," Daryl snapped out, his hackles rising as the kid hit right onto exactly what he'd been thinkin' about. Daryl let out a sigh and scowled at the black asphalt below his feet before shifting his eyes over to where Miles was simply just staring at him. Taking another breath he looked away and back towards the woods on either side of them. "Crossed my mind," Daryl said honestly, sniffing back the feeling of unease at speaking so plainly with the kid. He looked back over his shoulder and gave a half-shrug before continuing. "Merle ain't really the group-type. And I'm bettin' after what happened-" Daryl stopped watching in a bit of awe as a brief glimmer of what he figured had to be shame rippled across Miles' features as he bowed his head. "He ain't gonna be runnin' open-armed to no group of strangers. Merle's a tough sum'bitch, who could do well enough on his own. That group'd have to have something he wanted for him to join up with 'em. So…"

Daryl shrugged and left the statement to hang in the air between them.

Miles simply nodded at Daryl's words and they continued on for a few more moments. Neither one of them really wanting to extrapolate any further on who or what could be out there lurking in the world, waiting to find and destroy that little bit of safe and happy they'd been able to establish. Daryl shuffled his feet along the asphalt below, kicking at the random debris and dirt, his mind circling strangely around the silence coming from the usually vocal kid at his side. Again he remembered that fleeting look of shame that had passed over Miles' features and it had him clearin' his throat.

"Never asked what happened up there," Daryl said out of the blue, causing Miles' head to snap away from the wooded area on the other side of the road. Daryl watched the kid's brows lift in confusion and he cleared his throat again before shifting his eyes forward. Now he knew exactly how that kid musta felt every time he'd opened his mouth today. Daryl shook his head and fuckin' unnecessarily clarified. "In Atlanta. Up on that roof. Know the basics, but-"

"Merle was high," Miles said in a matter-of-fact tone that made Daryl's head snap back towards him. Miles shrugged as if saying 'yeah, everyone fuckin' knew Daryl' and Daryl's mouth twitched to the side as he looked away again. "He was up on the roof pickin' off Walkers with his rifle, and T-Dog stepped in to stop him. Then Merle started layin' a beat-down on T at which point I stepped in." Miles smirked a bit and Daryl eyed him from the corner of his eyes, watching in slight amusement as the kid chuckled to himself just a bit before shaking his head. "Merle smashed me good a coupla times," Miles continued, the words instantly killin' and vestiges of the smile that had formed on Daryl's lips. "He had me by the collar of my shirt and was holding me out like he was gonna drop my ass off the top of the buildin'," Miles shook his head and shivered just a bit, his free hand sliding up of its own accord to rub at his throat slightly. Miles looked up then, catching Daryl's eyes and shrugged. "That's when Rick showed up."

Another shrug from Miles, and a grunt and a nod from Daryl and the silence fell between them again. It was quiet for a few seconds, the chill in the air a dissipating just a bit as the sun finally broke free from the heavy cloud cover above. Daryl's eyes had shifted up as he tried to catch a bit of that warmth from overhead as Miles' voice rang out again.

"She'd go with you, ya know," Miles said quietly. Daryl shifted his eyes down to the kid and held his gaze as he stared openly back. "If you wanted to go look for him. She'd go with you," Miles continued his chin bobbing as his head nodded slightly. "We all would."

Daryl held Miles' gaze for a few moments, his brow furrowed and his face probably contorted into some kind of weird mix of confusion and anger and gratitude that was causin' Miles to just smile slightly as watched. He held that kid's gaze and realized exactly who the 'we' was, not the whole group, just Callie and her kids. Her little family that had at some point in this fucked up new world become his too.

The sound of moaning and scuffling had them both turning to see three Walkers shambling towards them from field area ahead a bit. The undead figures were growling and snarling at them, finally apparently picking up the scent of fresh meat close by. Daryl shifted on his feet and raised his crossbow taking a single step before stopping and lowering his weapon. He shifted his eyes over to Miles who was just watching him and waiting and Daryl let his crossbow fall the rest of the way. His arm went out in an arc inviting Miles to step forward and he smiled crookedly at the kid.

"C'mon, chuckles," Daryl said hitching his head towards the trio of rottin' Walkers currently hung up behind a small wooden fence. "Here's your chance to use that bat on somethin' other than the fuckin' trees and air."

"Fuck you, man," Miles spat out as he stepped past Daryl and adjusted his grip on his bat. "I'll bet this fuckin' bat has seen just as much action as that fuckin' crossbow of yours."

"Wanna bet," Daryl countered as he slid up behind the kid watching as Miles' fingers tightened and loosened on the grimy taped up grip of the bat. Miles shot a half-hearted glare over his shoulder at Daryl and grunted. "Didn't think so."


Callie sniffed and fought the slight tickling at the end of her nose brought on by the chill in the air as she walked up to where Ben and Carl were sitting. Each boy was going through a backpack, the bright red emergency backpacks that each had worn as they escaped the lower levels of the CDC. Carl was working to take inventory, the small pencil in his hand scratching across one of Jenna's notebooks; while Ben was restocking the one settled near his feet.

Clearing her throat slightly she stepped up a bit closer and settled her hands into her back pockets watching them work for a few seconds. Her gaze lifted at the sensation of another set of eyes on her and she shared a single nod with Carol as the woman carried an armful of laundry towards their drying area. Sighing Callie let her hands fall from her back pockets and ran her fingers through the tangle of her loose hair.

"Hey," Callie said, her voice scratching a bit in the back of her throat causing her to have to clear it before continuing. Both boys were looking at her now and she stared down, her eyes instantly catching on Carl's harsh stare. "Ben, we're settin' up a second watch position on the roof of the porch," Callie said shifting her eyes over to where Ben was staring at her. "Want you to head up there and help Andrea out."

Ben stared at her for a moment, his little brow furrowing in distaste and his eyes shifting around and over to Carl. Carl offered nothing in return, just a simple bit of eye contact before he settled his gaze back to Callie. Ben's mouth opened and Callie could just tell by the slight hitch to his lips that something fucking sarcastic was going to be coming out and she settled her hands back into her back pockets.

"Problem?" Callie asked simply, rocking back on her heels slightly and lifting a waiting brow to the boy still staring at her from the ground. After a second Ben shook his head and she gave him a curt nod. "Good. Now get movin'."

Ben wasted no time scrambling up to his feet at that point. He zipped up his backpack and grabbed his binoculars off of the chair nearest him where Rick's hat -the one Carl always wore-sat as well, his eyes scuttling back to where Carl was sitting for a single second before catching Callie's gaze again. He sighed a bit and then nodded before heading off at a sprint towards the house. Carl's gaze followed Ben's form as he worked back towards the house and Callie watched Carl, his pencil still poised over the paper. After another second Carl's mouth hitched a bit to the side and his gaze drifted to her briefly before going back to his paper.

Callie watched him continue to mark things in his notebook for a second or two, her head shaking idly as she shifted her gaze around the campsite. Letting her hands fall from her back pocket she stepped towards the RV and put a single foot to the ladder, her eyes shifting to where Carl was now watching her.

"C'mon, let's go," Callie said angling her head and indicating for the boy to follow her. Carl stared and she huffed out a sigh. "Ain't got all day, kid. Let's go, get off your ass and move." Carl's eyes widened briefly and then he was up and on his feet.

Carl shuffled a bit near his pack not really knowing if he should bring it with him or not. The idle movement of his hands wiping across the back of his thighs and butt while he pretended to dust himself off as he tried to figure out what he needed to bring had Callie smiling just a bit.

"Leave it," Callie said quietly, causing Carl to look over to her. She hitched her head again and he nodded, brushing his hands along the back of his pants once more and letting his eyes shift over the stuff he had spread around him. He started to take a few steps towards her and she began to climb, stopping after a few rungs to look down at him at the bottom of the ladder. "Hat."

Carl stared at her for another second before his brow furrowed again, his eyes shifted over to where his father's campaign hat was settled and his shoulders sunk just a bit. She shook her head at him as he trotted over and snatched the hat up, and let out a sigh when he didn't put it immediately back onto his head. She finished her climb and left him to follow, hat still held in his hands. Settling herself into the chair under Dale's ridiculous umbrella she pulled out the pack of cigarettes that T-Dog had given her and slid one out. She twirled the cigarette between her fingers as she watched Carl's shadow move beside her. He stood there beside her for a few seconds before letting out a small sigh and plopping down to the roof beside her.

She fought the urge to ask if he was feeling alright when he winced as he shifted around on his butt, and held on to the strange way his eyes had hardened back on the porch. Held on to that lost sort of look that had crossed Lori's face when she was faced with the harshness that was working to cloud her 'sweet little boy's' eyes when he so easily dismissed another person's life only moments ago. The world was changing and it was becoming more and more obvious by each passing day that the youngest ones in their group, the ones who wouldn't really know a different world, were going to be the most affected by it.

Callie slipped her cigarette into her mouth and she reached down for the lighter in her front pocket, her eyes fixed upon the outlying fields. The small flame of the lighter flared to life, catching the attention of the boy next to her, and she sucked in a deep drag as she twirled the lighter between her fingers. Carl's attention stayed on the lighter and Callie frowned slightly before sighing and shifting her eyes to him.

"Pretty big words you were spoutin' off back on the porch," Callie voice came out smooth and nonchalant and she was fucking happy for that little miracle. Carl's eyes snapped away from Callie's lighter and she shoved it back into her pocket as he stared at her in confusion. She watched his confusion give way to defensive anger and watched his wide eyed expression harden as he looked away and out to the fields.

"Yeah, well, it's true," Carl muttered as he fiddled with his father's hat in his lap, his shoulders lifted in a barely-there shrug and Callie's brow twitched a bit. Carl's eyes slid over to her at her silence and he frowned at the stoic expression she worked to keep on her face. She gave him a nod and took another drag off her cigarette, letting him stew in his own words for a bit. "It is," Carl continued, her silence on the matter obviously grating on his young nerves. She watched him shift on his butt a bit to look at her fully and she took her cigarette away from her lips waiting for him to continue. "Danny's right. After everything we've gone through. Danny's right, and I know you gotta agree. Why else would you stay away like you have been?"

"Smart kid," Callie muttered into her fingers as she pulled her cigarette and let off a stream of smoke to the air above. Carl's eyes burned a hole into the side of her face and she turned to him and gave a very small nod of her head. "I'm gonna be straight with you because I think you're old enough to deserve that bit of respect. I do agree with Danny. To a degree. But that is neither here nor there right now, and I'm gonna ask you to respect my decision to keep that to myself."

Carl stared at her for a minute and she began to wonder what was going through his head. After a few seconds he gave a small nod of his head, his eyes so much like his father's as they continued to hold her own. She nodded back and held her cigarette between her fingers, staring at the gray ash at the end as it grew.

"Carl, you're old enough to know the way the world worked before all of this started," Callie said her eyes still holding to the cigarette between her fingers. She felt Carl's gaze slip away from her face and over to the cigarette and she firmed her lips. "You're old enough to know that another person's life is worth more than the attitude and disregard you gave it on that porch. But you're also old enough to know that the way the world worked before isn't the way it necessarily works now." Callie's eyes slipped over to Carl and caught his slightly confused gaze. "But there is one thing that shouldn't ever change, Carl, and that's the weight we give to any situation, especially when it involves another person's life. Which is exactly what your father is tryin' to show right now."

"He's tryin' to fix his mistake," Carl said quickly, his little hand flying out before him. "He knows he made a mistake-"

"Do you remember us telling you what happened in Atlanta?" Callie said cutting off the boy as he continued on. The level of her voice raised only a fraction but it was enough to make Carl's mouth snap shut, he gave a small nod and she nodded back. "How I risked my life to help the man that had attacked Daryl?" Carl nodded slowly and Callie slipped the cigarette back into her mouth, taking a long slow drag. "Do you think that was a mistake?"

"Yeah," Carl said after a second or two his eyes holding to the side of Callie's face. She watched him watch her and waited for him to continue. "If you hadn't have run off, then you all would have made it back to camp earlier. And you all would have been back when those Walkers showed up and-" Carl stopped talking and slid his gaze away from Callie and back out to the fields.

"And maybe everyone who died would still be alive," Callie finished for him, her own gaze slipping out away from the boy beside her as she nodded her head. "Amy. Jim. Ed." Carl made a face at Ed's name but Callie shook her head. "You think I don't think about that every day? Hmmm. You think I don't second guess every move I make? I do. We all do. We have to, because we are responsible for more than just our own lives. We are responsible for the lives of this entire group, you included."

"But you weren't thinking about that at the time," Carl retorted his anger slipping back into place. "You weren't. You were feelin' guilty about leaving someone to die. Someone who deserved it for what he tried to do. You were feelin' guilty, just like dad was. He felt guilty because he had to kill those two guys and he brought that kid back to the farm and now he's fixin' the problem he caused."

"Well," Callie said raising her brows and flicking her cigarette off the side of the RV as she turned to stare at Carl. "You got everything all figured out there don't you." Callie said putting her hand to her knee and staring blankly at Carl. The kid was obviously second guessing his little outburst, his mouth twitching just a bit as he frowned. "You know what, you should have this," Callie slipped Rick's small gold badge off of her belt and tossed it onto the top of Rick's campaign hat which was settled on Carl's lap. Carl's eyes fell to the badge and his lips firmed tight, a move so like his mother when she was upset and unwilling to voice it that it had Callie chuckling as she slipped up to her feet. "You got watch," Callie said over her shoulder as she headed back towards the ladder.

"What?" Carl's stunned voice caught her attention, as did the sound of the boy sliding around on his butt to face her where she stood.

"You're old enough to decide whether a man lives or dies, then you're old enough to sit and watch over the lives of others," Callie said pointing a finger at him. "You got watch. You got a problem?"

"I don't have a gun," Carl said indignantly as he turned a bit further around, his brow narrowed as he stared at her.

"You don't need a gun to stand watch. You got everything you need right beside you," Callie said letting her hand slide to where the radio and the pair of binoculars were settled on top of the cooler beside the chair.

Carl's attention snapped to the cooler and Callie stood at the top of the ladder, her eyes shifting between the ground below and the boy slowly pushing to his feet. Letting out a final sigh through her firmed lips, Callie scratched at her sore right arm before clearing her throat.

"Hey Carl," Callie said looking up from the ground to catch the boy's eye as he turned. "So you know, no matter how much I may agree with Danny about that kid being a danger to us; I wouldn't have left him to be torn apart by those Walkers either. That's not a fate I would usher onto anyone," Callie said quietly watching as Carl's eyes slipped off of her and down to the abandoned hat and badge sitting by his feet. "That's not guilt." Carl's eyes slipped back to her, his jaw tight as he stared at her with a myriad of strange emotions flying over his face. Callie slipped herself into position and began to descend the ladder leaving him to return to staring at the hat and badge at his feet. "I'll send someone up to relieve you in a bit. Keep eyes out and signal if you see something."

Carl didn't respond and Callie continued down the ladder until her head was the only thing left at level to see the boy. He stood in the same spot for a few seconds, staring down at the items at his feet. Finally he reached down and picked up the badge from where it had fallen. She watched him run his fingers over the raised numbers, a familiar gesture to any who held that particular item it seemed. He did that a few times and then finally his shoulders stiffened and he shoved the badge into his back pocket. Giving his head a quick shake he snatched up the campaign hat and slammed it down onto his head before plopping into the chair Callie had vacated. He pulled the binoculars over to him and put them to his eyes and Callie shook her head before finishing her descent down the ladder.

Feet on the ground again she slipped her hands into her back pockets and let her eyes slide around the property. She spotted T-Dog and what she figured were Glenn and Danny beside him working their way around the back of the house. Andrea and Ben were settled atop the porch roof, Ben waving his hand at her as her eyes shifted over his form. She smiled a bit and returned the wave before settling her back to the RV behind her and sliding down to sit on the ground.


The sky was overcast as Daryl and Miles made their way back towards the farm. A comfortable silence had settled between them as they walked. The run in with the three shamblin' fucks earlier, which had turned into seven when all was said and done, had taken a good bit of that pent-up energy out of the both of them and left them both pretty much at ease.

Which was strange if you really thought about it. Realizing that beatin' the shit outta an undead sum'bitch could become relaxing settled strangely in the back of Daryl's mind and he simply shook his head at the confounded mystery of this new fucked up life they all lead.

That seemingly perpetual chill in the air had burned off now too, leaving behind a comfortable early Fall breeze and the first real idea of 'fresh' air that Daryl had breathed since the world went to shit. His eyes roamed the area as they worked their way down the roadway and past the parked cars near the fenced area. He spotted two figures up on the RV, the ridiculous outline of Dale's hat givin' the old man away instantly and the wavin' locks blowin' free in the slight breeze a telltale sign that it was Callie standing resolutely next to him.

Instead of walking the road that would take them towards the RV Daryl and Miles both stopped near the fencing of the property, settling their bodies against the rickety wood and letting their eyes wander the expanse of their newest 'home'. The afternoon was quiet, the wind low, the wildlife even taking a break so it seemed, leaving behind an eerie sort of calm before the storm feeling settling around them. Daryl shifted his crossbow off of his shoulder and let it hit off his leg as he settled his arms over the rails. Beside him Miles mirrored his pose, one foot settled up on the bottom rail while his bat sat next to him.

Daryl tried to keep his eyes off of the two figures settled off in the distance on top of the RV, but he failed miserably. Each time his eyes shifted, his mouth did as well and he was chewin' at the inside of his cheek, just like he used to do back at the Quarry when he'd find himself unable to look away from her. Day one Callie had drawn his eyes, and every damn day he'd found himself fighting the urge to just stare at her as if he could burn her forever into his mind's eye.

All the while Merle had been there to smack him upside his head and bring him back into the real fuckin' world. Which is what Merle had always been good at, in that fucked up kinda way he had about him, he always kept Daryl's feet well on the fuckin' ground where they belonged. Shit, even the fuckin' figment of Merle he'd been able to conjure up when he'd been layin' half-dead in that ravine had been able to smack him back into reality before any of them Walkers could take a bite outta him.

Missin' ol' Merle when you got a hot piece of ass like that, fuck's wrong with you, man?

Merle's voice echoed low in Daryl's head and he found himself smirking slightly as he turned his attention back to where Dale and Callie stood atop that RV in the distance. Beside him Miles shifted on his feet and sighed, 'causin' Daryl to shift his eyes to him. The kid's eyes were fixed on the RV as well, his attention so focused that he didn't even shift his eyes over to Daryl as Daryl moved away from the fencing slightly. Miles continued to stare at Callie, his mouth drawn tight into a frown and Daryl contemplated askin' what the fuck was wrong now.

Contemplated until the kid finally looked at him. Contemplated when the kid's eyes met his and held and then thought better of it. Knowin' that he really didn't wanna open that can of fuckin' worms. Hadn't wanted to open it at least.

Miles on the other hand wasn't lettin' him off so easy, and just as Daryl had taken two steps away from the kid and back towards his little camp area on the other side of the field the bastard's voice was ringin' out and freezing his ass in place again.

"You think Rick shoudla gone alone with him," Miles said quietly, his eyes holding Daryl's as his mouth hitched to the side. Miles bit at the inside of his cheek for a second before continuing. "With Shane? Ain't really a secret that they aren't seein' eye-to-eye, and…you know…." He waved a hand in the air before letting it drop to his side.

"Rick ain't dumb," Daryl said simply, his eyes skipping away from Miles as the kid nodded slowly. Daryl spat off to the side and gave one more fleeting glance to the kid before nodding his head. It was obvious that the boy felt some kind of responsibility for what happened to Otis, and that responsibility and guilt was seeping over to everyone in camp.

Miles was nodding his head idly and Daryl was just about to walk off again, but that sighing sound from the kid at the fence had him mentally groaning and staying put.

"You know who he is right?" Miles muttered to the ground as he shifted away from the fence a bit, leaving just his hands settled along the rotted wood, his knuckles white as he stared at them. Jim's old hat settled on his head blocked out his downcast eyes, and it wasn't until he lifted them that Daryl saw the look of anger and disgust that had settled on his features. "The kid, the one they took with 'em," Miles unnecessarily clarified yet again. For a moment the only sound was the sound of the rotted wood beneath the kid's fingers creakin' and groanin' in protest against his grip. For that moment Daryl just stared, an ill taste settling into the back of his throat and a hard weight settling somewhere between his shoulders as he felt his own grip tighten on the strap of his crossbow as he held it over his shoulder. "You aren't stupid, you know who he is. Fuck if I figured it out-"

"I don't know nothin'," Daryl countered again shifting his shoulders against the odd weight. His eyes slid back to the kid starin' at him and he growled a bit.

"You know," Miles spat back cutting off whatever sounds Daryl was makin' in the back of his throat and silencing him. Miles stared hard at him and Daryl held that harsh angered gaze knowin' that it mirrored his own more than he cared to admit. "You know-"

"Look," Daryl said cutting off the kid before he could say another word. "It don't matter what the fuck I know, or think I know 'bout nothin'," Daryl spat back his feet bringing him a few steps closer to the kid now staring wide-eyed at him. Daryl's hand shot out, a single finger pointing at Miles' chest as he spoke. "The only thing that matters is what she tells me," Daryl said tossing that hand out across the field in the distance towards where Callie stood.

"But-"

"We all got shit that's happened to us that we don't wanna talk 'bout," Daryl said quietly, his eyes holding Miles' for a second before he looked off towards the woods they'd just been prowlin' around in. "We all got shit that gives us nightmares and plagues us worse than those fuckin' undead bastards out there," Daryl shifted his dirty hand out at the woods and looked back at Miles, who was once again lookin' at that bat of his settled against the rotted out wood of that barely held up fence he stood by. Daryl's mouth hitched to the side and he chewed at the inside of his cheek as he watched the kid for a second. "I ain't about to go fishin' around that woman for information on something she's obviously workin' real hard to get past and keep past. And if you're as smart as you like to pretend you are, and she means as much to you as you say she does, you'll be doin' the same."

Daryl watched as Miles' eyes stayed glued to that fuckin' bat, watched the kid's hands clench and unclench and knew that his point had been made. Nodding his head idly, Daryl turned on his heel and started off towards his campground again. One hand slid up and he rubbed angrily at the feel of air tickling the sweat that had accumulated on his upper lip, his eyes slipping off unbidden towards the RV. That hulkin' vehicle was getting more and more distant as he walked, the figures settled on top becoming less and less distinguishable as he moved.

He felt her gaze on him as he walked. Felt it right down to that heavy something that had settled deep into the pit of his stomach. Felt it rake over him, and pull him towards her while pushin' him away at the same damn time. Felt himself want to change direction and head over. Felt that almost overwhelming urge—that same fuckin' urge that he'd felt since she'd fainted at the sight of that boy three days ago-that urge that had him wanting to go and grab her and make her tell him everything radiate throughout his body. Felt the muscles in his arms spasm as he clenched his hands tight, blunt dirty fingernails diggin' in deep.

He wanted to know. But he didn't at the same time. Didn't want to think about it, but couldn't stop himself when he saw her drift off back into that nightmare like she had been doin' time and time again.

He wanted to know, but he'd wasn't gonna ask. He wasn't gonna pry into that, same as she never pried into the scars that littered his back and body.

Daryl rubbed his thumb along his bottom lip as his eyes yet again shifted over his shoulder to the RV. He only hoped now that the fucker was long gone, Callie would be able to find some peace of mind again. Hoped she'd be able to gain that distance she needed to push that nightmare far back into the deeper recesses of her mind again, and lock it away for good.

His eyes shifted forward as a chill wind blew over the tall grass around him and he sneered at the sound of Merle's chucklin' voice echoing deep in the back of his own mind.

Wishful fuckin' thinkin' brother. Wishful fuckin' thinkin'.

Life is whittled, life's a riddle

Man's a fiddle that life plays on

When the day breaks, and the earth quakes,

Life's a mistake all day long

Tell me, who gives a good goddamn

You'll never get out alive

Don't go dreaming, don't go scheming

A man must test his mettle

In a crooked ol' world.

~Starving in the Belly of the Whale/ Tom Waits

AN: Not much to say here folks. I'm really sorry if this is super disjointed...I wrote it at random times and well... the whole process was disjointed. Hard at work at the next chapter… so if you'd like to hit me up. PM or review or whatnot. Also if you've got questions that you need to have answered or wanna discuss what you think's gonna be happenin' for Season 4, hit me up on tumblr. .com

Much Love!