There weren't words.
There weren't words enough to express how shocked and surprised and nervous Castiel was when he saw Dean sitting in his Women's History class.
There weren't words to explain how aggravated and embarrassed he was when he lost to Benny at foosball, which was entirely unfair. Dean distracted him. He had no business being that close.
And there most certainly weren't words to encompass how very badly Castiel wanted to kick himself for talking to Dean Winchester. Of all the words that Castiel could've said to Dean, these were not the ones he ever thought he'd say.
And yet.
"I think you owe Jo an apology."
Dean turned around in his seat to face Castiel, and Castiel's breath caught. His eyes were so green. He seemed slightly startled as if seeing Castiel for the first time.
"Who the hell are you?" Dean asked. He was drunk enough to be slurring. Fantastic.
Castiel said, "I'm in your history class."
Dean rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that helps."
Castiel thought it did, considering they were literally the only two males in the class. "How drunk are you right now?" he asked.
"Not drunk enough," Dean said. He took another drink of his beer.
"You should really apologize to Jo," Castiel said.
Dean got to his feet and whined, "Fine."
Castiel followed Dean to make sure he didn't fall over.
Jo was wiping down a table. "Fuck off," she said angrily.
Dean looked at Castiel, who gave him a pointed look to continue.
Dean leaned over towards Jo and said, "Hey, I'm sorry. I was being a dick."
She nodded, "Yep. Grade-A asshole."
"Lisa and I broke up. I just needed to get wasted," Dean said.
Jo looked up at Dean. "Oh, honey," she said, "I'm sorry."
"It's 'kay. I'm gonna head out. Sorry again, Jo," Dean muttered.
Jo said quickly, "Castiel, could you please make sure he gets home okay?"
Castiel gave Jo a look. Dean started heading for the door.
"What the hell, Jo?" Castiel said quietly.
Jo smirked at him and said, "Thank me later."
Castiel sighed out of exasperation and followed after the inebriated Dean.
"The hell kind of name is Castiel?" Dean asked. He started to walk into the wall.
Castiel steered Dean to the door and ignored his question.
Once they were outside, Dean asked, "But seriously? Castiel? Whose idea was that?"
"My parents'," Castiel said.
"I'm gonna call you Cas," Dean slurred, almost laughing, "'s easier."
"Sure, Dean," Castiel said, "Now, where do you live?"
Dean staggered off down the street away from the Roadhouse. Castiel followed quickly.
"So, you're in Women's History?" Dean asked, "H'come I never see you?"
"Probably because you've ditched most of the class. I'm there every day," Cas said.
Dean nodded and said, "Makes sense." He stepped off the curb and almost face planted in the street.
Castiel caught him and pulled him back upright.
Dean started laughing.
"I fail to see what is so funny," Castiel said.
"I'm way more drunk than I thought," Dean said, "And that is pretty funny."
Walking with Dean when he was so drunk was a lot like walking with a two year old, no attention span complete with balance and coordination issues. But Cas had nowhere else he'd rather be.
After a while, Dean stopped dead in his tracks and looked at the buildings around them. "We went the wrong way," he said.
"What? How do you know?" Cas asked.
"I live near Damen and Division," Dean said.
Castiel took a deep breath. They had indeed gone the entirely wrong way. They should've gone north from the Roadhouse. "Okay," he said, "Then, let's turn around and head towards Damen and Division."
Dean kept walking the wrong way. Castiel physically turned him around, trying to ignore how good Dean's leather jacket felt under his fingers.
For the next two blocks, Dean kept trying to walk into the street. It was too late into the night to worry much about getting hit by cars, but Dean kept stumbling over the curbs. Eventually, Castiel just kept an arm around Dean's waist to keep him from falling and smashing his face. At least that's what Castiel told himself was the reason for being so close to Dean.
Dean didn't seem to mind, either. Though of course, Dean was incredibly drunk. Dean must've been in a lot of pain to want to drink so much.
"Why did you need to get so drunk?" Castiel asked. He was partially curious but partially amused by the fact that Dean stood a fifty-fifty chance of not remembering Cas even after all of this. This would be how their first interactions would go. Of course.
"Like I told Jo, Lisa dumped my ass," Dean said.
Dean almost lost balance, and Castiel righted him quickly. "Who is Lisa?" Cas asked, feigning ignorance. He assumed that Lisa was the woman he'd seen Dean with at the theater so very long ago, but he also knew that drinking wouldn't help Dean as much as talking about it would.
"She's such a bitch," Dean said.
For a minute, Cas thought that that was all Dean would say on the matter. But then the flood gates opened.
"That's the only thing I can say about her. She is such a bitch. We just fight all the time. It used to be fine. She used to be fun and awesome, and she's sexy as hell. But now it's just fighting. Fighting when I don't call her right away, fighting when I don't get to her place on time, fighting when I don't take her out enough, fighting when she wants me to move in. And honestly, anyone could tell you that us moving in would be a bad idea. Hell, she even fought with me when Ben called me 'dad' on accident. How big of a stick do you need up your ass to fight over that shit?"
"Who's Ben?" Cas asked.
"Her son," Dean said, "And he's the best. He's the best kid, and he's smart. He's just awesome. But he sees me as a kind of father figure. And that's fine. I'd be honored to be that kid's dad. But I'm not his dad as Lisa so lovingly reminded me. Fucking bitch wouldn't even let me say goodbye to him. Who does that? Even as shit as things were with me and Lisa, I never woulda walked out on that kid. Ben's awesome, man. I got no idea what she's gonna say to him about me being gone. Probably some bullshit. But I would never leave that kid, not after how my dad left me. Even if my dad hadn't done that shit, I would never leave Ben. No way. I'd walk through hell for that kid."
"Sounds like you really love him," Cas said.
Dean said, "I do! I really do. But Lisa's a bitch. Wouldn't even let me say goodbye. So, I needed to get drunk. It was either get drunk or lose my fucking mind. So, I'm drunk. And I need to piss."
Dean broke away from Castiel and walked into the nearest alley. The second he heard Dean's fly unzip, Cas turned right around to give Dean privacy. It would do his mind absolutely no good to see any of what Dean had going on. The poor guy was straight and heartbroken. The most Cas could ever be to him was a friend. That was okay, but that definitely meant that Cas could in no way, shape, or form peek at what was going on behind him.
Dean got himself situated and walked back over to Cas, wrapping an arm around Cas' waist this time. Cas tried to remind himself that Dean was drunk, but he was still pretty sure that his heart was beating so fast that it was vibrating his entire being. He hoped that Dean was too drunk to notice.
They stopped at the corner of Damen and Division. Dean looked at Cas, staring into his eyes. "You're pretty great, Cas," Dean said.
Cas tried to control his smile. They were way too close for Dean to be saying such things. Cas tried desperately not to look at Dean's lips. He failed.
"You're great, too, Dean," Cas said.
"Nah, I'm a mess," Dean said, "But you. You're like a saint or something, walking me home like this. You're awesome."
Cas didn't know what to say to that. His brain couldn't process the words.
"Your eyes are so blue," Dean said softly.
Cas cleared his throat. He didn't want Dean to do something while drunk that he'd just regret later. "We should, uh, we should get you home," Cas said, "Which one's yours?"
"It's another couple blocks up. Damen and Crystal. I'll show you," Dean said. He started crossing the street as a car sped by. Cas grabbed Dean's arm, pulling him back before any harm could come to him.
When the coast was clear, Cas helped Dean get to his building without Dean being injured in any way.
Dean pointed to a building on their left and said, "That's the one. Buzz the name Winchester."
Castiel studied the buzzer panel, not seeing Winchester anywhere. He was starting to think Dean had led them to the wrong building when he spotted it.
Cas buzzed, and the door popped open in no time. A tall, long-haired man looked from Cas to Dean. "What the hell? Dean?" he asked.
Dean smiled widely in reply.
"I don't know who Lisa is," Cas said, "But apparently she's a bitch and Dean's been drinking because of it for whatever reason. He does live here, yes?"
The guy nodded, taking Dean off of Cas. "You want to come inside? It's freezing out here," he offered.
Cas shrugged a quick, "Sure."
Dean struggled out of the guy's grasp. "I can walk," he said, defensive. Dean made it two steps before face planting over the threshold.
"Graceful as ever, Dean," the guy commented.
Cas snickered as they picked him up off the ground.
"Shut up, Sam," Dean said, leaning on both Cas and Sam, apparently, as they made their way slowly up the stairs. Once inside the apartment, Sam and Cas laid Dean down on the couch.
"I'm Sam," Sam said, "Dean's brother."
"My name is Castiel," he said, "But Dean seems to prefer calling me Cas."
"Well, it's good to meet you, Cas. Thanks for getting my brother home safe. I hope he didn't get too out of hand," Sam said.
"He was fine. He got a bit mouthy with Jo. He told her to blow him," Cas said.
Sam asked, shocked, "He said what to Jo?"
"Yeah, it was not a good moment. He apologized, though."
"He apologized?!"
"Yes," Cas said, "I asked him to."
"Wow. That's...wow," Sam said, "Well, it's pretty late. You wanna stay the night?"
"What?" Cas asked.
"It's cold out, and it's way too late to be out right now. You can crash here for the night if you want," Sam said.
Cas said, "I appreciate the gesture, but Dean is already asleep on the couch. I wouldn't want to be taking someone's bed."
Sam chuckled and said, "You could take Dean's bed. It's not like he's using it tonight."
Cas knew he should turn down the offer, but he didn't have any other sleep arrangements lined up, and he did want to make sure that Dean was okay in the morning. And some quiet part of his mind really wanted to know what Dean's bedroom looked like.
"I'd love to stay the night. Thank you, Sam," Cas said.
Sam smiled and said, "Great! I'll show you where his room is. It's the least we can do for you taking care of Dean tonight. I still can't believe you got him to apologize while he was drunk. He's not good at apologies sober. We're gonna have to keep you around."
Cas gave Sam a small smile. He liked the idea of being around more. And Dean's bed was the most comfortable thing he'd ever laid down in.
Before falling asleep, Cas sent Gabriel a text. He wrote, "I just had the best night of my life. Better than walking in the city over the summer. Best night ever. I'm in Dean Winchester's bed right now. Good night."
As he closed his eyes, Cas could hear Dean snoring softly from the couch in the living room. And Cas had never slept better.
