Note: I managed to write a chapter out a little early this week. Hope you all enjoy. Please let me know what you think – Cheers!
56 Limitations
Amara carried the witch in her arms as she strode down the hall. She noticed she was still quite light despite her unconscious state. She shifted her weight a little as Wynne opened the bedroom door for her. Softly she kissed Morrigan's cheek as she entered the room then gently placed her on the bed.
"Wynne are you sure about this?" Amara's worried face met the elder mage's gaze. The Warden had asked her several times already. Wynne nodded as she watched the Warden's hand gently stroke Morrigan's face.
"I am Warden. There's nothing that indicates injury or possession. She is simply exhausted." She patted the Warden's arm as Amara stood bent over watching the sleeping witch on the bed.
"I have never seen her like this and she has always used magic effortlessly." Amara noticed a slight paleness to her usually deep red lips. Her brows were still slightly creased though her breathing was that of a woman in deep sleep.
"The last few nights have not been restful for her Warden. She has watched over the boy in the deepest parts of the night to ensure he did not wake. Couple that with the amount of magic I saw her use defending the Chantry and fighting off a higher demon, it really is a marvel that she has only dropped from exhaustion now." Amara met her eyes. The Warden was far from comforted. "I suspect given how strong she is in magic, her limits have never been truly tested till now." Wynne brought over a comfortable chair from the corner of the room and placed it by the bed side. "Stay by her Warden and come find me should anything change. I won't be far and I suspect she will be sleeping soundly for the rest of the night." Amara nodded and looked out the window. The sky was turning orange with the setting of the sun. Her heart quickened only just realizing how long Morrigan had been in the Fade.
"Thank you Wynne. I'll be here if you have urgent need of me." With that Amara sat down on the chair her hand enveloping Morrigan's lax fingers. Her eyes watched her constant breathing, taking comfort in its even rhythm. She felt Wynne's hand pat her shoulder as she turned to leave.
…
"So the two of you really didn't get that far?" Zevran asked again incredulously as he poured himself and Leliana another drink.
Leliana shook her head. "No, I've told you repeatedly. We didn't do anything you have been suggesting for hours now." Leliana's eyes were red rimmed from crying and half lidded from the amount of alcohol she and the elf had consumed. She had just wanted to sit and drink in silence and nurse what hurt she was feeling. The elf had joined her with his easy smile when she was half way down her first bottle and had repeatedly coaxed as much details out of her as he could without earning a slap.
"I'm sorry it's just I've seen the way the two of you look at each other and I'm finding it hard to believe that given you've both been on a boat in the middle of a lake for two days that you have not done the succulent deed." His eyes narrowed a little as they rolled back, his lips parting as his body suggestively rocked.
Leliana laughed at the sight before her then slapped at his arm soundly. She poured another slosh of golden liquid clumsily into both their glasses. "You have such a dirty mind my friend!" Leliana shook her head then quickly tossed the liquid down her throat. "I believe the… Warden's…" She looked at the empty glass dubiously before deciding to fill it up again. "Hmm..." She looked at the liquid swirling at the bottom of it daring herself to drink it down. "… what'wsss I saying?" She swallowed hard as she felt her stomach start to complain.
"The Warden's ass?" The elf chuckled drinking down the liquid in his glass. "Or the Warden's undoubtedly soft… moist…" Leliana slapped at him again. "Hey, I was going to say lips!" The elf rubbed at his arm in feigned hurt.
"Sure you were." Leliana arched a brow and decided against her better judgement to drink down the alcohol in her glass. The bitter liquid burned. She placed the back of her finger against her lips to keep it down. "The Warden's heart… I believe." Leliana held back a sudden sob, quickly regaining the little composure she had. "I believe that Amara's heart belongs to someone else." Leliana frowned then, her eyes going distant for a moment. She closed them tightly not wanting the tears to spill again. She pushed the bottle away from her near toppling it. The elf caught it in time and moved it further away safely. He watched Leliana bury her head in her arms. She shook like she was crying but no sounds came from her lips.
Gently Zevran reached across the table to stroke her arm. "You'll be ok my dear…" Leliana heard him sigh. "There is an old saying and goes something like this... If you love them let them go and if they come back then…" A long silence ensued. Curiously Leliana looked up and waited. Zevran smiled then shook his head.
"How does the rest of the saying go?" Leliana waited again. Zevran laughed.
"I don't remember my dear, I think I'm a little drunker than I thought." Zevran tapped is fingers against the table's edge. "Well, let's see if I can come up with something just as good… I can't leave you with a half finished saying now can I?" He smiled making the bard smile too. "If you love them then let them go and if they come back then…" He chuckled. "Fuck them like crazy." He laughed hysterically before earning another slap from the bard who was now laughing hysterically too. Zevran shrugged, happy that he could make Leliana laugh. "Well, what do you expect? I was brought up in a whorehouse!" He laughed heartily again, pouring the last of the bottle between them. They clinked their glasses together then tossed the liquid down their throats. Leliana made a face as she swallowed it.
"Hmm… I think I better take myself to bed." She stood up unsteadily.
"Can you manage the stairs?" Zevran steadied her with his hands. Leliana nodded then slowly made her way to them. She had placed one foot on the first step when she felt Zevran nudge her arm. "Come on, I'll help you up." He smiled at her.
"Thanks Zev… but I'm not sleeping with you." She chuckled at the feigned hurt he flashed at her.
"I know my dear." Gently he scooped her up and carried her up the steps letting her back down again at her door. "I'll see you in the morning my luscious friend." He winked at her then went back down to the tavern below. Leliana closed the door behind her and sat heavily on the bed. Painstakingly slow she managed to remove her boots and greaves, the rest of her armor stayed on as she laid herself down. She closed her eyes tightly against the spinning of the room before she lapsed into oblivion.
…
Night was deep outside the window. Morrigan looked at the sky curiously before her eyes wondered to the rest of her surroundings. She stirred a little uneasily, feeling like her body had rolled down a hill before coming to a crashing halt. She felt her fingers squeezed gently making her look down at them. The Warden's warm hand enveloped them as she sat slumped on her bedside fast asleep. Morrigan smiled, her free hand gently caressing the Warden's dark locks. Amara stirred, lifted her head off the bed slightly and turned her sleepy gaze toward the witch. Golden eyes narrowed slightly as she smiled. Amara felt an instant relief roll through her. She squeezed Morrigan's hand again.
"My heart, you're awake." Amara observed as she brought the witch's hand to her lips and kissed them lovingly. Morrigan nodded and pulled the Warden's hand towards her. Amara stood up and gently pressed her forehead to hers. "You had me worried." Amara closed her eyes, her breath trembling as she released a pent breath. She felt a gentle hand caress the side of her face.
"I've missed you." Morrigan's heart swelled, this was all new to her. She didn't usually readily express her deepest feelings but the possibility of losing the Warden made her feel braver somehow. Amara smiled down at her before cupping her face to kiss her lips.
"It does feel like it's been longer than two days." Amara clasped the witch's hand against her chest. Morrigan smiled then gingerly shifted her weight to one side of the bed. Amara pulled off her boots and slipped into the covers beside the witch. Morrigan sighed contentedly rolling her body against the Warden in a close snuggle. She felt that bit by bit everything was falling back into their proper place. Hesitantly she spoke another little bit of truth.
"Last I saw, you had just returned from dying." Morrigan's heart thundered. Amara comfortingly caressed her shoulder. "I've found it a little difficult to adjust…" She huffed, a little frustrated with her words. "I… feel…" She swallowed allowing herself a little more time to grasp the meaning of her thoughts and feelings. "I feel like I'm still grieving for you." She closed her eyes tightly and felt the Warden hold her close. "Like this is all just a dream that I've deluded myself with so I don't have to face not having you with me." Her eyes stung a little though her heart suddenly felt lighter having uttered the words out loud.
"I'm here, my love." Feeling her heart swell, Amara swallowed hard. "This isn't a dream, I promise." She felt Morrigan sigh against her chest.
"Hmm… you are right." A soft chuckle emitted from the witch's lips. "Only you could ever be brave enough to call me that."
Amara smiled and kissed her forehead. "Oh? Hmm… then let me risk your wrath again." She looked down and gently grasped the witch's jaw. She planted a long deep kiss on her lips. "Sleep now my love. I'll still be here when you wake in the morning." With that the witch nodded and closed her eyes. Her breathing quickly deepened as she fell asleep. Amara smiled contently and slid into sleep beside her.
…
The gentle morning light streamed in from the window. Leliana grumbled at it with annoyance, her head aching too much to do anything about it. She took her pillow and clamped it across her closed lids. Everything still spun and she was incredibly thirsty. Unhappily she cracked one eye open and peeked out from under the pillow. Quickly as she could she looked about the room. Nothing. Not even a canteen of water. How drunk was I last night? She half asked and half berated herself for not even having the foresight of the hangover she would be facing. She closed her eyes against the pounding in her head. It could have been worse I suppose. At least I've managed to wake up alone. She thought of Zevran, gallantly carrying her to her door. He was certainly easy on the eyes and had given her a friendly if not too inquisitive ear for all her troubles. She would have been most upset with herself if she had ended up bedding him after refusing the Warden's affections. Leliana frowned then shook her head, a motion she suddenly regretted as it set the room spinning and her brain she could imagine was sticking to her skull with dehydration. She sighed. At least it was a distraction for the day, albeit a painful one. Miserably she thought of water and the lack of it in her room. She made a sulky grumble before she closed her eyes and desperately tried to sleep again.
"Leliana?" The voice was familiar and blessedly softly spoken. Leliana let out a small grumble. A small quiet chuckle reached her ears. Her head pounded and she knew she should care about who was in her bedroom but the familiarity in the voice prevented her from worrying. She trusted each of her companions with her life on a daily basis and if she was wrong there was still that small hidden blade in her armor she could use to discourage any unwanted advances. "Oh come on my dear, wake up just enough for me to help." Leliana rolled her closed eyes. Zevran. "Let me give this to you then you sleep all you want." Leliana frowned. Surely he wouldn't be as stupid as to approach me again, when I've made it perfectly clear that I didn't want his affections? She thought to herself even as she sighed letting her hand wonder towards her cleavage.
"Zev, I told you. I'm not sleeping with you." Another soft chuckle tumbled from his lips.
"Oh, don't worry I haven't forgotten. But trust me, you're going to want this." Leliana felt his smooth hand gently pat her cheek. Without warning Leliana pounced trusting her body still knew what do to despite the throbbing in her head. She didn't much have time to dissuade him so she would need to be quick. Artlessly she pressed the blade to his throat even as the spots in edges of her vision sickened her.
"Leave." Leliana put as much threat and menace in her voice she could muster. She could feel her body failing, sweat breaking out on her brow.
"Not until you drink this, my dear." That ridiculous smile was still stuck to his face. It was infuriating. Her eyes slowly left his and found a small red vial that he held in his hand. Her eyes closed briefly all the fight going out of her. She heard the assassin chuckle again as he gently lowered her armed hand from his throat.
"Is that what I think it is?" Leliana was half hopeful, half regretful. Hesitantly she met her companion's eyes again. He nodded, his eyes twinkling with mirth.
"My own personal blend my fellow assassin." He guided her body back to the bed waiting for her to sit before he unstoppered the vial and handed it to her. Gratefully she took it and drank it down making a face as she swallowed it. Zevran chuckled again as he handed her a canteen filled with cool water. She made a noise somewhere between a groan and relief as she drank it down thirstily.
"Thanks Zev. I needed that." She saw the elf incline his head most pleased with himself.
"Given how you looked when you sought your bed last night, I didn't think you had anything prepared for this morning."
"I haven't needed to make that potion for years." Leliana closed her eyes appreciating the restoring properties of it spreading through her body. "I would have used more honey."
"Oh I like the bitter aftertaste. It reminds me I'm still alive after a particularly hard night on the job." He stoppered the empty vial and tucked it in his pleated skirt. "Sweetness confuses me and often makes me think I've died and moved on to somewhere better." Leliana looked at that charming smile again. She lay back down on the bed. A small comfortable silence built between them before he heaved himself off the edge of the mattress walked towards the door.
"Hey Zev?" Zevran paused, his hand resting on the door handle. He looked back at her over his shoulder and waited. "Can you stay a little longer? I don't want to think of her at the moment." He's hand left the door and he bounded back up to bed slipping off his boots. Leliana chuckled as he eased his armoured body on the bed next to her.
"You know I still have that dagger right?" She shook her head and he nodded as he smiled.
"Of course my dear. I am simply happy to provide you with company." Companionably he invited the bard to lean against him. Leliana sighed and accepted. She sat and closed her eyes, listening to the sound of his voice. His rich accent intriguing to her ears as he described his homeland of Antiva. Somewhere during that conversation they spoke about shoes with great shared enthusiasm. He spoke of the smell of Antivan leather while she spoke of the intricate delicate designs she had seen the last time she was in Val Royeaux. They continued speaking into the afternoon, trading methods of their trades and stories of their most interesting missions. For a few hours Leliana pretended that she had forgotten about the Warden, completely immersing herself in the friendship with the elf.
"Did you want me to bring you food?" Zevran's fingers lazily twined in her hair. The mention of it suddenly made Leliana's stomach grumble. She nodded eagerly and watched him make for the door with a smile. The door closed behind him.
"Zevran…" Amara walked towards him looking like she was about to say something. He watched her pause before seeing her eyes flit to the bard's door.
"Warden! Good to see you." He was particularly pleased to catch a little jealously in those amber eyes. He crossed his arms languidly and leant on Leliana's door behind him.
Amara blinked, regaining her thoughts. "The village is sending off their fallen tonight. It is their custom to float them down the lake before setting their pyre aflame." Amara's head cocked to the side. "Given your trade I thought you could help with firing the arrows. Not many are left who can shoot with accuracy."
"Of course Warden, I'd be willing." Amara nodded then turned towards her room.
"Did you want me to ask Leliana as well?" Keenly he watched her back stiffen. She turned her head slightly towards him.
"I have not seen her today, but if she is willing and able, this village would appreciate it."
"I'm sure she is willing. I'll let her know when I run into her again." Zevran gave her a smile and started toward the tavern below.
Leliana leant against her door, she let out a pent breath as she heard Zevran and Amara part ways. "Oh Zev, I think that was pushing it a little." She whispered as she turned and sat heavily on the bed rubbing her face with her hands.
Amara heaved a few heavy breaths. Her mind knew better but she couldn't help the hurt and jealously creeping up in her chest. She stood in the middle of the room and closed her eyes to collect herself. With a long exhale she found her way to her pack and shouldered it. She made her way back downstairs espying the elf heaping a tray with food. She frowned, suddenly worried for the bard. When they had last parted she knew Leliana wasn't in a good frame of mind. She berated herself inwardly for not checking on her sooner. She crossed the tavern floor and stood next to the elf.
"Zevran. I know I am the last person she wants to see right now and I know she is hurting." Zevran looked at her curiously. "But can you tell me if she is ok?"
"I assure you she is fine Warden. She needed a little assistance this morning but she is perking right up." He gave her another smile and turned to head back up the stairs with the food. Amara sighed and made her way back to the castle. Much of her afternoon had been spent speaking with Alistair and the Bann. Their only hope for Eamon's recovery now lay with finding Andraste's ashes, its location and existence long faded into myth. The Arlessa provided them with one tangible lead. Brother Genitivi was a Chantry scholar well versed in the fabled relic. Desperately needing the Arl's support Amara and Alistair agreed to go to Denerim and assist him in his search. Amara entered the bedroom Morrigan and her had spent the night in and closed the wooden door behind her.
"You look… anxious." Morrigan sat on the cushioned seat by the window.
Amara smiled seeing the witch out of bed. "I'm just thinking of the coming journey my dear."
"Ah… the fabled Urn of Sacred Ashes." Morrigan crossed the space between them and ran her hands across the Warden's shoulders. Amara dropped her pack to the floor and caught at the witch's waist. Determinedly she guided her towards the bed. The witch chuckled then tutted in her mouth as Amara's body pressed her against the mattress. "Didn't the old woman say I should be resting all of today?"
Amara smiled then lifted the witch's legs and placed them on the bed. "Wynne did mention that to me." Teasingly she nibbled on the witch's neck. "She told me to make sure you stayed in bed." Amara caressed the witch's face, happy to see her brow now smooth with a good proper rest. "Then she shook her head and then laughed." Amara smiled seeing the witch chuckle. She stood back up and picked up her pack. "I know you've been cooped up in here all day so I thought I'd give you this." She pulled out small, black leather bound book and handed it to the witch. "I found it in the Circle Tower and thought it might interest you… I saw how your eyes widened with awe every time we entered a room full of books…" Morrigan was in shock, silently gawking at the book in her hand. "Morrigan?" Amara asked a little worriedly.
Morrigan took a breath and ran her fingers through the etched image of a dead tree on the front cover. "Of all the books in that place Warden, you thought to bring me this?" Amara nodded and sat back down on the edge of the bed.
"Have I chosen poorly My Lady?" She saw Morrigan blink before the witch shook her head. Her golden eyes searched her face.
"No Warden, this is the most remarkable coincidence that has ever occurred to me." Her warm hand grasped the side of Amara's face. "Flemeth was once divested of her grimoire by one infuriating Templar. Ever since we discovered the condition of the Mage's Tower I had wondered if it might be recoverable. But I had yet to speak of it to you, how fortunate that you found it on your own."
"This is your mother's grimoire?" Amara curiously asked watching the witch turn it about in her hands. Morrigan nodded completely in awe of the book. "I had hoped to give it to you sooner but between everything that has happened since we got back from the Tower, I'm sorry to say that it has slipped my mind till now."
"Don't be sorry, I thank you! I will begin study of it immediately. I will not squander the opportunity to learn much more than my mother intended me to." Morrigan gave her a sweet kiss on the lips before excitedly curling up in the bed and inspecting the book. Amara smiled and lifted the covers over her legs before leaving the witch's side to meet Alistair.
Down a flight of stairs her fellow Warden had met her in the Arl's study. "The most logical place would be to go to Denerim next." Alistair contemplatively scratched his bristly chin as Amara and he both leant over the large map of Ferelden.
Amara sucked in an audibly pained breath. "I believe you are right but Denerim is leagues away from here. It is just about the furthest place we could march to."
Alistair nodded his assent. "We could go to Orzammar but that will only put us further from Denerim. We do not know the extent of damage that poison is doing the longer we take to cure the Arl." His brow furrowed then, clearly frustrated with their options. Amara looked up at his worried face. The man was running himself ragged. Tonight was the first night they could call a proper rest and allowing them recuperate without fear of an undead attack.
"We will find a way to make this right, though the road may be long and arduous." Amara cocked her head to the side with smile. Alistair smiled then shook his head.
"You sound a little like her at the moment." He gave a knowing smirk.
Amara's lips flattened in a firm line briefly before a small smile took over her face. "Well she is very wise and quite optimistic. I have just spent two days with her. We're bound to rub off on each other." Amara heard herself incessantly babbling and growled a little at herself before her lips went back to a familiar firm line.
Alistair just chuckled and raised a brow. "Still haven't caught sight of her today I see."
Amara shook her head then sighed. Resignedly she pushed herself off the edge of the table that displayed the enormous map then leant against the window frame. Small firelights dotted the village below them. There was constant activity as fuel and pyres were assembled together. For two days since the battle with the undead horde, the village had prepared for this night. Carpenters or anyone who could hammer together wood had worked well into the night to create the countless floating pyres that would hold a fallen loved one or neighbour. Now as the sun had steadily travelled toward the horizon the time for Redcliffe's funerals neared.
"Only Zevran's seen her today, as far as I know." Amara sighed again. "You know I actually got jealous of him this afternoon." She gave a self depreciating laugh. "I have no right to be but there it was. I think we crossed a line on the boat, albeit not very far but now we're both desperately trying to uncross it."
"Well you were friends before, I'm sure you'll both find a way back." He heard his fellow Warden sigh again before she came to stand next to him in front of the maps.
She gave him a side long glance. "I really hope you're right." Her eyes drew away to the map again, her brow slightly creased. "Denerim. I have both dreaded and hungered to go to that place." Amara tapped the North Road on the map. "This is the closest route to it, but it will mean travelling across the lake back to the outpost at Lake Calenhad. Just a day and half on the water compared to two and a half days on foot."
Alistair nodded beside her. "Then over a week's march on to Denerim."
"The other alternative takes us too close to Lothering. We could chance it but given what we've both seen I think all of that passage could be overrun by Darkspawn." Amara chewed the inside of her cheek as she thought out loud.
"The North Road it is then." Alistair straightened his back with a groan. "Our dear witch will not be happy to be on the water again." He gave Amara a smirk that all too obviously showed he enjoyed the thought of a miserable Apostate in their midst. Amara thumped him on the shoulder playfully.
"Well, the sun sets. We better head down my brother." Amara inclined her head to the stairway. Alistair's face grew grave.
"Yes. Maker let's give these poor souls some peace." Together they walked out of the castle grounds, becoming part of a growing throng of people making their way to the lake's edge. All was subdued murmur, broken only by sobs as each body was launched from the water's edge. As they waited for the first dozen pyres to float away from the shore arrows were lit. Amara could see five archers standing firmly against the fire's light, their bows drawn and pointed skyward. Leliana's lithe frame caught Amara's attention making her hold her breath. She watched closely while in unison they fired the flaming arrows on to the pyres on the water. All of them catching their target, the flames hungrily devoured the dry tinder and wood arranged around each body. Arrow after arrow lit body after body. When all fallen were given their final good bye the lake before them roared with flames. A final arrow was loosed on the final body. Amara watched Leliana fire it then observed her shoulders slump in grief and exhaustion. What remained of the village wept around her.
Leliana felt the hot tears trickle down her face as she watched the countless pyres burn before her. So many lives were lost but only now seeing them all upon the lake did she realise exactly how many. Her fingers and shoulders hurt from drawing the bowstring. Her mind brought Lothering sharply to its fore. No one would have done this for the fallen there. She closed her eyes against the fires and allowed herself to let out a sudden sob. A firm hand touched the middle of her shoulders, she turned towards it as another arm wrapped around her tightly. She buried her face in the now familiar leather armor as her body shook with her crying. Lips kissed her brow and fingers ran through her hair. A deep thick voice whispered in her ear.
"It's going to be ok, I promise." Eyes closed Leliana nodded, staying in the embrace wanting to believe. They stayed like that for some time before a final squeeze of her body had Leliana opening her eyes. Gently strong arms receded from her, the night air encroaching between them. Amber eyes looked back at her before soft fingers gently caressed her tear stained cheek. Amara gave her a weak smile before turning and walking away back towards the crowded shore.
