A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie and Betsy. As always, it's meant in fun.
The Mizard Of Odd
Chapter 46: Miz Loses Control Of The Situation
Matt stopped Carrie when she was setting the food down on the table. "So, do you happen to know what it was Jeff and I were fighting about?"
Carrie frowned at him. "I wasn't eavesdropping, if that's what you're asking," she said. "Jeff comes in here all the time, and he's almost always happy. It seems like the only time he isn't is when you come in with him. There's usually an argument, but it's none of my business what it's about."
Matt sighed. "Thanks, Carrie," he said. "You've been a big help."
Mark picked up his cheeseburger and said, "I has cheeseburger!" before taking a huge bite. "Om nom nom," he muttered around the food.
Carrie smiled at him. "If you need anything else, don't hesitate to ask." Then she was gone.
"What do you suppose we argue about?" Matt asked.
"There's one way to find out," Punk said. "Maybe we ought to try calling on Jeff and see what happens."
Miz said, "I don't think that's such a good idea. Jeff's been dealing with robot Matt for the last few months. What's going to happen if our Matt becomes someone else while talking to Jeff?"
Randy picked his steak up off the plate and gnawed on it like a dog, his head tilted toward the conversation. Matt watched this, fascinated, before he pulled his attention back to Miz and Punk. "I'll be fine," he said. "I'd like to know what Jeff thinks of the robot Matt."
"Why?" Miz asked.
Matt sighed. "Because my brother and I are extremely close," he said, "and if they've fooled him with the robot me, then what chance do we have of convincing the world that this is real? We're going to come off, sounding like crackpots."
"It's a risk we have to take," Punk said, "if we're going to clear our names and get our jobs back."
Miz shook his head. "Let's just have our one night of rest and then get back on the road, okay? We've got too much going on for you to plan a family reunion, Matt."
"Maybe we ought to play it by ear," JJ said. "If his brother shows up, fine, and if not, fine. Trying to avoid his brother while at his house may be pretty impossible."
"Good point, JJ," Miz said. "Maybe we ought to rethink going to Matt's house, after all."
"But I want to go!" Matt whined. "I haven't been home in forever and I miss my house!"
Miz glanced at Punk, who was staring intently at Matt. "If you keep pushing, he's going to slide into another personality," Punk said finally, meeting Miz's eyes. "Just let him be. JJ's right. We should play it by ear, see what happens. If we run into the real Jeff, fine. We'll deal with it. But it'll be a lot easier if Matt isn't Jeff, too."
Miz stared down at his food. "Fine," he muttered. "But for the record? I'm already regretting this decision."
%
They finished lunch and tipped Carrie, then got back on the road. Christian seemed to know the way to Matt's house almost as well as Matt did, something that meant that JJ and Christian stayed in the front for the twenty or so miles to Matt's. For his part, Matt stared out the window in his newly claimed window seat, leaving Miz to sit between him and Punk. When they finally pulled into the driveway, Matt couldn't stand it anymore. He barreled over the seat in front of him, onto Randy and he was pulling the door to the SUV open before they'd come to a full stop.
"Wow," Punk muttered, watching as Matt ran for the front door. "I wonder how he expects us to get in."
"Probably has a hidden key," Miz suggested.
"Yeah, good point," Punk said. They waited for Mark and Randy to get out before leaving the car. "Except I'm not sure he knows where it is. Look." He indicated Matt, who was overturning planters and kicking rocks near the door.
"Think his evil twin moved it?" Miz asked.
"That, or he's just not very organized."
Matt came back to the gathering superstars. "Normally, I leave a key, but I can't find it."
"Well, if we're going to be stuck out hereā¦" Miz began.
"No, don't worry," Matt said, grinning. "Jeff and Beth have a spare key. We can just pop on over to their house and grab it, and then we'll be back in business."
"Look," Miz said, "the less contact we have with everyone who knows us, the better."
"Well, my only other choice is to break in," Matt said, "and hope that no one notices, because I have no idea where the spare key is."
"Let's approach this logically," Punk said. "If you were a robot, where would you hide a spare key?"
"I'm a robot! I don't need a spare key," Mark piped up.
"Why not?" Matt asked.
"Because robots don't lose keys!" Mark said.
"Well," Punk muttered, "he has a point." He turned to JJ. "Do you think you can jimmy the lock?"
JJ stepped up onto the porch and crouched down to stare at the lock. "Doesn't look too hard," he said. "You need better security, Drew."
Matt froze, his eyes widening. He stared at JJ for a long moment, mouth working. From behind him, Randy piped up, "Drew, Drew, Drew!"
That decided him. "Rar!" Matt screamed, rushing at JJ, who stumbled back against the door as Godzilla-Matt attacked. They smacked the door hard, rattling the frame.
"Orton!" Miz shouted. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
Randy smirked and followed Matt onto the porch. He knelt down beside him and leaned over so he could say, very softly, "Drew."
Matt screamed in rage and reared back, slamming into the door a second time. This time, the cracking of the frame gave them a moment's warning before the door itself gave and let Matt tumble inside, his teeth now firmly planted in JJ's arm while the latter shrieked, "Get Drew off of me!"
"I need Pepsi!" Punk shouted, following them in. The others were close behind. Miz attempted to pry Matt off JJ. Christian tripped over a side table, causing a vase to crash to the floor.
"I'm a pallet of baked goods!" Mark announced, pushing Punk, who ran into Miz, sending the two of them crashing on top of Matt and JJ. Orton stalked after Christian, a gleam in his eye. The room was in chaos, with shouting, crashing and Orton landing an RKO on Christian.
In fact, it was so loud that none of them noticed the new arrival until he was standing in the doorway, anger plain on his face. "What the hell is going on here?" Jeff Hardy shouted.
