Dinner Date

by Castlefan6

Authors Note: Thisis my AU version to the events when Demming has dinner catered by Hung's China Sea, complete with the candlelight. Sometimes, a candle provides the light that is needed to get you out of the dark. Based on a prompt and request from mbeckettcastle or JC. This is for you; I hope I do it justice. There will be ANGST, Tons of it, if this is not your story, Thanks, hope you find what you're looking for.

I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only

Chapter 49

Previously

"Gina, why did you let Rick go if Bob isn't a sure thing, as you let on? I'm sorry that's personal and none of my business"

"Kate, something you don't know, Rick talks in his sleep, especially when he's either upset or very Romantic, and as much as he wanted to love me first, it was you that appeared in his dreams. You own a part of his heart no one will ever claim, the sweet words he said was so romantic till he ended it with I love you Kate, I've always loved you.

Regardless of what works out with Bob and I, which I think will, I don't want to be what he settles for, no more than you would. Believe me when I tell you, he loves you so do whatever it takes to get him back."

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Greybrook House

London 1 Week Later

Rick, Alexis and Cricket had arrived back in London a full week and two days ahead of the revised schedule LB. had approved, so Rick used some of the time to accompany his "girls" as he had started calling them on sightseeing trips.

The only drawback was he still needed to be in disguise, at least till the end of this book. He had gotten creative, even adding some temporary tattoos that would wash off with Alcohol and strong rubs or wear off within two weeks. The first time he appeared with one, a skull and crossbones on his bicep, Alexis freaked out.

"Dad, what the hell did you do, when did you do that, what the hell were you thinking?" She screamed, as Rick began to laugh and brought the packaging from behind his back.

"See Pumpkin, it's temporary, I was going to get a pumpkin but they had a limited supply so I thought who would look for Richard Castle with a tattoo?" he laughed,

Cricket and Alexis both smiled, it was one of the few times they had heard him laugh since returning, they both knew the letter from Kate was still sitting on his nightstand, he couldn't bring himself to read it yet, and any mention of either Gina or Kate would send him scurrying to his office and back to work.

Cricket brought out a fake piercing for Rick to wear in his ear, adding to the mystic of who this man really was. They were just returning from a great day viewing Kensington Palace, Cricket and LB. Connections had gotten them a much more complete tour than the normal public, when Rick shocked them both.

"I think I'm going to my office to read Kate's letter, after all we have to return to work for real Monday and I don't want that mystery hanging over my head any longer. Would you girls excuse me please."

Cricket whispered to Alexis than they were going to change plans and watch a movie in tonight, no way were they leaving Rick alone, especially with something as personal to this. To be honest, they were surprised how strong Rick had been, he had only let his emotions show once, when they first arrived and he saw a hairbrush of Gina's on her nightstand in the bedroom. He recovered quickly and made a joke then changed the subject.

Rick poured his three fingers of Scotch and gently took the envelope out of his top desk drawer, he had placed it there when he could no longer bear to look at it when he awoke each morning on the nightstand. Thinking to himself, well she's already dumped me for Deming once, sent two letters to apologize, and said she loved me in a letter, so how much worse could this be, a note of sympathy perhaps since Gina had told him she had spoken to Kate when they parted.

He opened the letter and as he began to read, his eyes filled with tears.

Dear Rick,

It's the middle of the night, and after talking with Gina today, my heart is breaking for you. I'm sure you're astute enough to follow the signs, so no details need to be shared. I thought to myself the old Kate would be elated, would be trying to throw a party, her foe had left, BUT that's now how I feel Rick.

This was a side of Kate, he had never seen before, she got right to the point, and she didn't blame Gina, herself or him just let him know how badly she felt. The change in her personality to gloat when an enemy walked away was gone, and the new Kate sounded sincere.

I learned a great lesson from you, when you love someone, you take no pleasure in anything that hurts them, in fact you sacrifice your own self to insure their happiness. Perhaps I finally understand Rick, I get it, I love you and if I could take the hurt you are feeling from you, please believe me I would in a minute. I know this was what you did many times for me when I was too selfish to see or understand the love in your heart and deeds.

As he read this paragraph the tears pooled in his eyes, God maybe she had changed from the old Beckett. This was the first time he remembered her acknowledging the sacrifices he had made in the name of love for her. The line if I could take the hurt you are feeling from you, please believe me I would in a minute. I know this was what you did many times for me when I was too selfish to see or understand the love in your heart and deeds, made the tears fall. He quietly thought back the times he had tried to protect her, often to the ridicule of her or her fellow officers but it never stopped him from trying.

Rick, no matter what, PLEASE promise me, you'll call me if you need me. PLEASE. Please let me begin to prove to you just how deep my love is for you. Gina asked me a strange question when we talked, "How much are you willing to give up for him Kate, if it's not everything let him alone to find happiness somewhere else."

What do you need me to do? Where do you need me to be? Just say the word Rick, give me the opportunity to prove to you that you are the single most important thing in my life, I'm in love with you. Now when I say that I know exactly what it means, I want your happiness over mine, not just today but every day. NOTHING else is more important than you, if you don't believe me, just test me, please.

As he continued to read the letter, his heart was in his throat, she had openly told him not only that she loved him, BUT that nothing else was more important than him, God how he wished he could believe that. She had to mean outside of her Mom's case, he knew that it was the one solitary element that had kept her living, working so hard, not allowing anything or anyone to penetrate her defenses.

I know this sounds like a desperate plea from a desperate woman, and perhaps it is, but this time the desperation is how can I keep you from hurting, or lessen the pain you are already feeling. I know you lost trust in me, I need to prove it to you, but I will never be able to do that unless you take a chance on me. Let me be there for you, as you have been for me, even if you don't love me, I don't care, just let me be there for you.

Rick, I can only pray you get this and know I would do anything I can to stop one ounce of your pain. Even if you don't love me, or even like me, please let me be there for you, AND promise me you will take care of yourself for Alexis, for yourself, and for me, Call Me day or night, the number is the same and I'll be right by your side,

Love Always,

Kate

He was quietly weeping as he finished the letter, her pleas to be near him sounded so genuine, but he had misunderstood her before. How easily it would be to pick up the phone and call her, if only half the things she wrote were true, it still would be like starting all over with a new woman. His problem, he needed to finish the books, and he knew that if she were here, his desire to write would be gone, at least for this certain British Agent.

He missed New York, He missed the Loft, Hell who was he kidding he missed Kate and had since he left. He tried, he really had to leave her memory in the ashes, and for a while with Gina it worked, well most times. He was sure sometimes Gina had heard his slips as he called her the wrong name, but if she did, she never called it out. She had even told him that Kate was still in love with him, maybe it wasn't just a ploy to make it easier for her to walk away.

He had to answer her, but he would need to use the clearing procedure he had with the earlier letters, his Attorney in New York. He opened his laptop to a blank Word document and began to type his thoughts, he would go back and form the letter when he was sure his inner feelings had all been heard and expressed. This was far too important to leave anything out, no matter how small.

12th Precinct

NYPD

Kate had gone to work each day, putting in extra effort to solve cases, and working long hours again, to avoid the empty apartment and the loss of Rick. It had been almost a week, and she had heard nothing, even though he had promised Gina he would read her letter. He must have read it and tossed it, like she deserved, she thought to herself.

The days were long, but even after putting in 14-hour days, the nights seemed even longer, lonelier. She spent most evenings, with her Castle Always Box, on a few occasions allowing herself to open the sealed package and take a quick smell of the handkerchief Rick had last left her with when she was crying, although fading, his cologne smell could still be made out.

She welcomed the nights she taught at the Domestic Abuse Center, it was something meaningful and one of the few places she put the needs of others ahead of even her thoughts of Rick. She knew firsthand how dangerous the lives these women lived could be, and she took it very seriously.

The nights she didn't teach, she ran, she couldn't stop herself as she ran by the loft, even though she knew the results would be the same. She would stop, view the window while she fake checked her watch, then cry as she completed her run. By the time she had reached her apartment, she wasn't sure if her shirt was wet from her sweat, or her tears.

She had resisted the urge to call or text Gina, although it was harder each day that went by, God she loved him so much, if she only knew where he was she would just show up and show him how serious she was. She knew he probably thought she was just being dramatic when she wrote, What do you need me to do? Where do you need me to be? Just say the word Rick, give me the opportunity to prove to you that you are the single most important thing in my life, I'm in love with you.

She could only hope something inside him still burned for her as her desire for him still did. It went far past physical, it was almost spiritual, the only time she had ever felt complete as a person, totally safe was when she was with Rick. Perhaps, just perhaps he felt some of the same things she did.

Greybrook House

1 Hour Later Rick's Office

Rick had tried to work on the novel, but finally he gave up, he knew he had to write to Kate before any words for his characters could flow through his mind. This letter was different, it was acknowledging what he had felt for almost two years, and if he was wrong it would surely mean he would need to rethink not only his life, but where could he go to escape the feelings that haunted him, or so it felt.

Opening the Word document that he had started with the raw feelings, he began to craft the letter, as he did he thought of a beautiful Brunette who had lured him into her web with just a smile, a laugh and how much he would give to hear that laugh, or see her smile one more time. Oh well, time to start,

Dear Kate

TBC