48 – Complications – June 19, 2016

The arrow hit the target with a satisfying 'thump' shattered a moment later when Clint's arrow sliced it in half.

"Hey!" Aspen protested, spinning around to glare at her former teammate. Clint was smiling innocently at her. "I thought this was supposed to be therapeutic."

"You wouldn't know relaxation if it came up and offered you a cruise to the Bahamas," Clint told her, flexing his fingers around his bow. "You thrive on action, and you know it."

"Maybe." Aspen bit her lip. Ever since the mission in Lagos, things had been quiet. The Avengers weren't exactly the heroes in the face of publicity after it had been announced that eleven civilians and relief workers had been killed in the explosion. There'd never been more talk of the government controlling the team, and it worried Aspen to no end. She'd spent the last few weeks feeling sick to her stomach though maybe that could be summed up to a simple though stubborn stomach bug. It bothered her to think the media was advertising all of this conflict for the world to see and form an opinion on. It felt like an invasion. This didn't concern them. The Avengers were a private group of individuals, and it wasn't up to surveys on Twitter to decide how they should work.

"Never mind that. Let's shoot two more rounds and then get some lunch."

"You just want to beat me again," Aspen accused.

"Now why would I want to do that? I'm retired." Aspen snorted as Clint raised his bow. "Here. I'll go first. You can hit my arrow. Maybe." His lips quirked up in a smile that Aspen had missed.

Things had been tense around Avengers headquarters lately, and Aspen had taken Clint up on his offer to spend a week with him and his family to get away from superheroing for a while. She'd formed an attachment to his youngest child though she'd always been uncomfortable around kids. It was probably just because it was Clint's kid. Clint was family so that made his wife and children her family too now that she'd finally adjusted to the idea of him having a family.

"I'm starving," she said as her stomach growled two rounds later. Clint had soundly beat her, but Aspen wasn't too bothered.

"You always say you're starving, but you pick at your food like a bird," Clint told her, giving her an odd look. "Although you ate my mushroom quiche last night without a complaint."

"So?" Aspen lifted an eyebrow at him as they stowed their bows in the barn and headed for the house.

"You hate mushrooms."

She shrugged wondering why Clint was making a big deal of this. "I could hardly taste them."

"You still hate them. Remember that time Bruce ordered pizza with extra mushrooms not realizing you hated them, and you spent like twenty minutes picking off every single offending fungi? Your pizza was cold by the time you started eating it."

"So maybe my taste buds changed. It happens. People grow up and decide the world won't end if a single mushroom slides down their throat." Clint looked unconvinced, but he didn't press the matter.

Laura was fixing grilled cheese in the kitchen, the smell wafting throughout the house. Cooper and Lila were coloring at the table while they waited, and Nathaniel gurgled happily from his crib, a mess of Cheerios on the tray before him.

"Anyway, why would you feed me mushrooms if you knew I didn't like them?" Aspen asked, taking a seat at the table.

Clint rolled his eyes. "I forgot you didn't like them until after the quiche was in the oven. I figured you might not notice them."

"Well, lunch today is mushroom-free grilled cheese," Laura said, placing a plate in front of Aspen with a smile.

"Smells delicious. Thank you. Vision is learning to cook," she added when Clint and Laura took seats at the table.

Clint snorted. "And how is that going?"

"Well, I think he was trying to keep it a secret, but I walked in on him one day while he was attempting spaghetti and meatballs. Mainly I just heard the smoke detector going off and ran to see what was on fire. He'd burned the sauce, so I pulled out a can of tomato sauce and helped him warm that. The meat was mostly raw, so we talked about food poisoning and the dangers of pink meat. It was actually a pretty good bonding session. And the spaghetti wasn't half bad."

"He's trying to be human."

"You think he shouldn't?"

Clint looked thoughtful. "I don't think he shouldn't. I just think he's going to find there are differences he can't compensate for. But he shouldn't have to try to be human just to fit in. The team's not going to treat him differently for being an android."

"But other people will. The media got ahold of the fact that we have an android on our team, and it hasn't escaped their notice that he was involved with the Ultron fiasco," Aspen pointed out. The press would paint anyone in a negative light if they thought it was the most interesting angle of a story.

"They see android and think it's the same as a robot. Most people don't bother to look for the difference." Cooper and Lila were listening avidly as their dad spoke.

Aspen took a bite of her grilled cheese, but she was suddenly feeling nauseous. "They're talking about regulations. This time seriously. Ever since Lagos…"

"You can't put heroes on a leash and expect them to save the world," Clint said, frowning. "What does Steve think of all this?"

"He's worried. He doesn't talk about it a lot, but I can tell it has him worried. He says it would have to be agreed upon by a lot of people before some sort of restriction could get passed, but it seems like we're headed that way. We make one mistake that isn't even our fault and suddenly the world is eager to see the government in charge of us. People are voting online whether or not they think we should be controlled by the government. I can't even go on the Internet anymore…" Steve spent a lot of time in his office these days, and Aspen knew he was reading everything he could. She wanted to be prepared, but she found reading the latest news on the debate depressed her too much. "First the Inhumans, now us."

"The world isn't happy unless it has some new martyr," Clint agreed.

"I should be used to it by now, but somehow it still bothers me." Maybe it was that she'd once had privacy, anonymity. Now she was always in the spotlight with her team. People knew her name and her abilities and her history. Perhaps she'd put some of that out there for the world to see, but somehow lately everything had felt like an intrusion.

"What about Tony? Has he said anything about all this?" Clint asked, polishing off his grilled cheese sandwich. Aspen had hardly touched hers.

"Not to me. I don't think he's said anything to Steve either which worries me. If he was on our side, he would be fighting for us right now. But if he disagrees. Well, he knows all too well how stubborn Steve is. The two of them trying to argue about something they have opposite opinions on…well, let's just say they would be going around in circles for a long time." She was actually disappointed at how little she'd heard from Tony recently. In the last ten months, he'd hardly called or texted her. She knew he was busy, but she had hoped after he'd left the team that he'd still stay in touch. He'd sounded subdued the last time they'd spoken, and Aspen wondered if there was something going on in his life that he wasn't willing to talk to her about.

"Well, we know Tony has no love for the government." That was true, but something still felt off. It wasn't like Tony to stay quiet about something he had an opinion about, and she had no doubt that he did have an opinion about this.

"Aspen, honey, you don't have to finish that if you're not hungry," Laura said kindly after a few minutes had passed in silence. Aspen looked down at the sandwich she'd taken one bite of.

"I thought you were starving," Clint said, nudging her arm.

"I'm sorry. I just feel a little ill. This whole thing has got me stressed out," Aspen said. She couldn't bring herself to eat another bite though she felt impolite.

"Then let's talk about something else because coming here was supposed to be relaxing for you," Clint said.

"It is. Thank you." She gave Clint and Laura a smile. "I really appreciate you taking me in for a few days."

"Of course. You know you're always welcome here. You're part of the family," Clint told her. Nathaniel gurgled his assent.

"I think I might just go lie down for a little while," Aspen told them. "Hopefully I'll feel better after that. Anxiety doesn't agree with me." She moved to grab her plate, but Laura waved her away.

"I'll take care of that. You go lie down for as long as you need. Would you like me to bring you a cup of tea?"

"Sure. That would be wonderful." It felt like being home with her mom, and Aspen found herself wishing she could stay longer. As she headed upstairs, she heard Clint speaking to Laura.

"She's not acting like herself," he said quietly. She could hear the worry in his voice. Laura didn't answer right away, so Aspen paused on the stairs out of sight to listen.

"How long has she been getting sick?" she asked.

"She told me a few weeks now. The Superhero Serum is supposed to help her fight off sickness. She's able to convince her body to fight off infection faster than normal. And she doesn't really get sick. Ever. Sure she has anxiety over things, but usually she feels faint or overheated or gets a headache. This seems different. You don't think it's something serious? Should we take her to the doctor?" Aspen smiled despite herself. Clint sounded like a nervous parent even though Aspen was more than capable of taking herself to the doctor. Her stomach squirmed a little at his words though. What if there was something wrong with her? She tried to think back to when she had begun to feel ill. A couple of weeks? She had blamed it on the stress she'd been feeling lately, but she'd been stressed since Lagos. She didn't hear Laura's reply because her mind was suddenly racing. Clint was correct that the serum helped her fight off illness, so what if something was wrong with the serum? She rushed up to the guest bedroom and closed the door, pulling her phone out of her pocket and calling her mom.

"Hey, Mom," she said when she heard Ava's voice on the other end. It was Sunday, so her mom would be at home rather than the university she currently taught at in Phoenix.

"Hey, honey. How are you? It's so good to hear your voice."

"Yours too. I'm all right. I'm staying with Clint and Laura right now. I just needed to get away from everything for awhile." She'd kept her mom up to date on everything that had been happening, and she knew Ava watched the news avidly.

"I'm sorry everything is so stressful right now," Ava said sympathetically.

"That's kind of why I called," Aspen told her. "I've been feeling pretty ill for the last few weeks. I thought it was because of stress, but I've been stressed since Lagos. Besides, I'm used to the stress of being an Avenger. It's never affected me like this before."

"What are your symptoms?" Ava asked. Aspen could picture her getting out one of her medical books. Growing up, they'd had an old collection of medical books from the 70s that Ava referred to when Aspen got sick.

"Nausea, lack of appetite sometimes and then other times I feel like I'm famished. I've thrown up several times. Stomach bugs don't usually last this long, right?"

"Not usually. Let's see." Aspen heard typing in the background. "According to WebMd," Aspen snorted at this, "you could have indigestion. Have you been eating something that doesn't agree with you?"

"Not that I can think of." She frowned thinking of the mushrooms she'd unwittingly eaten the night before.

"All right. Probably not food poisoning then."

"No. I would know if I had food poisoning. Remember that seafood place we went to in DC? I still shudder every time I see cod." Her stomach turned over a little at the thought, and she moved to the bathroom door as her mom continued to search.

"It does list stress. Maybe it's just caught up to you."

"Maybe…"

"Gastritis, ulcer, mumps…"

"Those all sound awful."

"Allergic reaction?"

"No. None of those sound right…" Aspen sighed, sliding down to the floor. "I'm worried it has something to do with the serum. Could it be causing this? Could something be wrong?"

"That serum is a part of you now. It wouldn't cause those symptoms. If something was going awry, you would know. It would be worse than throwing up. Besides, the serum was designed so that the brain can help speed up the healing process." That was exactly what Clint had said.

"So if not the serum, then what?" Aspen asked.

"You've felt ill every day for the last two weeks?" Ava asked.

"Pretty much. It hit me hard one morning, and I haven't felt right since. Do you know something I don't?"

"Well, there is another suggestion from the symptoms you listed off…" She paused, and Aspen hoped she wasn't about to find out she had stomach cancer or something. "Have you considered morning sickness?"

Aspen stared blankly at the wall. "I…what? No. No way. I don't always get sick in the morning. I threw up before bed a week ago." Her mind was solidly rejecting what her mom had said. "I mean, there's no way."

"Well, there is a way. And you don't just get sick in the morning with morning sickness." There was a smile behind Ava's voice while Aspen was having a full on panic attack on the bathroom floor.

"But that's…that's not…" She closed her eyes and fought back a wave of nausea that had nothing to do with…whatever was ailing her.

"Morning sickness tends to start six weeks into a preg–"

"No. Don't say it. That is not what's wrong with me," Aspen ground out. Her mind was whirling though. Six weeks. And she'd felt ill for two weeks meaning she'd be eight weeks…. No. She refused to even finish that thought.

"Not to be…indelicate, but when was the last time…"

"Mom," Aspen groaned before her mom could finish that thought. "Don't even go there."

"Honey, you're an adult. You can handle this like an adult." Aspen didn't want to though. She wanted to whine and throw a fit and reject what her mom was saying.

She frowned, counting back the weeks to just before Steve had left for Lagos. Ever since things had been busy and strained, and she'd given him space. "About eight weeks."

"We can both do the math. Aspen, honey, why aren't you excited?"

Why wasn't she excited? Nothing had been proved first of all though she realized now there were other signs she hadn't noticed until now. She'd summed it all up to stress. She put a tentative hand on her stomach. It was flat. As flat as it had been eight weeks ago? She wasn't sure. But should she be excited by the possibility? She couldn't even bring her mind to say the word.

"It's not a good time," she finally said, her voice flat.

"It's never a good time. Not when it's unplanned and sometimes not when it is." Her mom sounded ecstatic, but Aspen felt dread building up in her mind, numbing her body from her head down.

"It's never going to be a good time. Not for me. Not ever. I…I don't want this. What I do…I can't do that if I…if I'm…" She felt a sob building up in the back of her throat. "It makes everything so much more complicated. Impossible even. People like me don't have families. We don't have white picket fences and two-story houses. My life is constantly at risk. I can't be putting someone else's life at risk too." They'd never talked about this. She and Steve. Her mom had brought it up a while ago, but Aspen had told her right then and there that it was not the time and probably would never be the time. She'd meant what she said, and she hadn't changed her mind.

"That's not true. You can have a life, a family. Steve will be thrilled."

"Will he? We don't know anything for sure."

"There's one way to find out. And of course he'll be happy. Why wouldn't he be?" Her mom didn't understand. Aspen realized it had been a mistake calling her. Sure, if she were a normal person then she would love to talk to her mom about this, but she wasn't normal and her mom didn't understand her life. She didn't see what was wrong.

"I have to go, Mom. I can hear Laura bringing up my tea." She hastily got to her feet and kicked off her shoes, sitting on the bed.

"Aspen, you can't just run away from this. It's going to catch up to you."

"Then I'll deal with it then. I have to go. I love you, Mom." She hung up and muted her phone before her mom could protest. Laura knocked a moment later, and Aspen called her in, lying down on the bed as if she'd been resting the whole time. Laura set a mug on the bedside table.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Better," Aspen lied. She watched Laura carefully, remembering the conversation she'd been having with Clint before Aspen had gone upstairs. Did she know? Did they suspect? Laura was looking at her carefully. "Just stress," Aspen added as if she needed to justify her illness.

"Of course. Well, I hope the tea helps. It's mint."

"Thank you, Laura. Really. You and Clint always make me feel like part of the family. It means more to me than I can say."

"You're always welcome here," Laura said, putting a hand on Aspen's shoulder. "Let me know if you need anything else."

She left Aspen alone, shutting the door softly behind her. Finally Aspen let her tears fall, one hand on her stomach, the other clutched around the phone. She opened her contacts list, finger hovering over Steve's name. Her finger trembled, and she slid it down to exit out of the contacts. She placed the phone back on the table. She couldn't call him. Not yet. Not until she knew. She didn't want to know though. She wanted to live on in blissful ignorance, ignoring the complication that had suddenly made her life as uncertain as the day she'd lost her parents.

She somehow managed to sleep though she must have stared at the ceiling for a good hour before. When she woke, the screen of her phone was lit up, and she expected it to be her mom calling again. When she saw Steve's name instead, fear gripped her, and she declined the call. She was breathing hard when the screen lit up again to show that she had a message. There was no way he could know. Unless…what if Aspen's mom had called him? Aspen grabbed her phone to call her voicemail, hands trembling. Please don't let her have told him. Please no.

"Hey, Aspen. I'm sorry to bother you while you're at Clint's, but Tony just called and he requested that we all be at headquarters tomorrow. There's something he said we need to discuss, and he wanted the whole team there. You don't have to come, of course, but it sounded important. Give Clint and Laura my love, and I hope to see you soon."

The message ended, and Aspen let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. He didn't know. He didn't know anything. Her breathing slowed, and her heart settled into a steady trot rather than a gallop. He didn't know, and as far as she was concerned, neither did she.