Chapter Fifty Four
Inside the submarine there was barely enough room for three and we had to cram into the small space to fit. Bastila had the most experience at piloting, so she sat in front while Juhani and I were squeezed in the passenger seats. As soon as we fastened our safety harnesses, the latch automatically shut. Inside was so dark I could only see the outline of Juhani's face thanks to the monitors at the head of the sub.
Bastila navigated through murky waters for quite a while. I closed my eyes in an attempt to relax. My attempt failed. Instead of relaxing, I listened to Juhani's calm breathing. I kept pondering what she could be thinking at that moment. More than likely she was trying to process my confession. I felt slight dread at having told her in a public location with Bastila beside us. I should've found a better time, then maybe it would have gone better. The sound of Juhani's voice brought me back to the present.
"I do not know what we will find down there and a part of me fears being underneath so much water…"
"Juhani, I wouldn't worry –this sub was designed for doing exactly this."
Bastila chipped in.
"And how is this any more dangerous than being out in space?"
I felt Juhani playfully bump her shoulder against mine.
"I suppose both of you are correct. It might not be rational, but what we might find down there worries me. I think you can understand why a Cathar would not be fond of oceans after what happened to…"
With the lack of space it was a challenge moving my arm, but I managed to place my left hand over Juhani's right as I said.
"I perfectly understand your fear. If there is something …unpleasant at the bottom of this ocean –I'll be sure to protect you against it."
"Lena, I do not need a protector. I can take care of myself."
"I know you can, but I'll be there if something goes wrong."
In nearly a whisper, she said.
"I hope it doesn't"
We barely spoke for the next twenty minutes and through the monitors I spent my time watching our descent into the watery abyss. I commented.
"I've never been this deep before."
I swore I heard a snicker from Bastila, so I asked.
"What? What's so funny?"
"Oh nothing… I'm just enjoying a random musing."
I felt Juhani's weight as she leaned against me. A few minutes passed before she managed to say.
"Earlier I told you my past was holding me back from pursuing a future. I think it is time I told you exactly what I mean, of course, if you do not mind listening."
I didn't understand why she even asked if I mind. She was one of the two women I wanted to spend the rest of my life with … I would listen to anything she wanted to say. While massaging her hand with the tips of my fingers, I softly said.
"Never would I mind listening to your words. You are a woman I love…"
At that moment I wanted to say, the, and I felt Bastila's discomfort through our bond. Luckily her discomfort subsided as through our bond I completely revealed myself to her.
I watched Juhani's eyes reflect the light of the monitors as she spoke.
"When my father was killed it seemed that something in my mother began to die as well. She worked. She worked as hard as she was able, but over time she vegan to waste away. I later learned that she was unable to get enough money to feed both of us, and had to start borrowing from the Exchange –a band of cutthroats and smugglers."
She turned away from me as in a trembling voice, she continued.
"But even that was not enough... She hid what she was doing from me. She gave most of her food to me, so that I would be strong. But she herself was suffering deeply from it."
There was nothing I could say, though foolishly I managed.
"I've dealt with the Exchange –as in, Canderous killed one of their bosses."
"That actually does make him sound more pleasant, only a little."
She turned back toward me as she continued her story.
"Where was I… in the end my mother could go on no longer and collapsed at the cantina where she worked one day. She left me no money, and no doctor would see her without being paid first. I sat by her bed for days as she lay there dying. I never want that to happen to someone I care about ever again..."
I felt her hand tremble underneath mine. Though it took some effort, I scouted closer to her and let her burry her face in the crook of my neck. I felt her hot tears against my neck as she silently cried. The two things I wanted were to never leave her side and to avenge the ones responsible… the only problem –there were so many. Could this be blamed on the Exchange, the xenophobic and classist society on Taris, or even further back, the ruthless genocidal actions of the Mandalorians?
After a few minutes Juhani managed to calm down. She didn't move away, instead remaining in the comfort of my warmth. Her heated breath brushed against my neck as she resumed her story.
"After my mother died there was still the money she had borrowed... the Exchange is brutal. They thought it was appropriate that, with my mother owing them money, the debt should be passed on to me. And with no way to pay, they took me by force."
My heart physically hurt at her words. I wanted to wrap her tightly in my arms and swear to protect her regardless of her wanting my protection. As she continued, her voice trembled.
"They treated me like livestock. They were waiting for a buyer to give them some credits for me when the Jedi came to fight the Mandalorians. The Jedi drove the Exchange from the face of that world, freeing those of us imprisoned there."
She lifted her head so that she could see my eyes as she finished.
"On that day I swore that I would become a Jedi. As soon as I had enough money to do it, I bought passage on a freighter headed for Dantooine. And we both know what has happened since then."
While keeping intense eye contact I couldn't stop myself from leaning my face toward hers. I needed to feel her lips and even more so, she needed to feel mine. I felt overwhelmed at the initial sensation, and the electric heat between us. In my mind I swore over and over again I would keep her safe, and from this point on prevent horrors from ever happening in her life. I needed to feel her lips. I felt her press more of her weight against me as I leaned against the metallic wall. Bastila's voice interrupted the moment.
"We are about to arrive to what is labeled as the Republic's base. This is the place with which Roland lost contact… we need to be prepared for anything. For all we know, the place is overrun by Sith."
Reluctantly I broke off the kiss as I prepared to exit the sub. As the hatch opened I placed my right hand over the hilt of my lightsaber. I sighed in relief at not encountering anything while exiting the sub. My relief didn't last. While walking through the large room toward the only door, I felt bothered by the flickering lights. Littered on the ground I saw numerous torn up bodies garbed in Republic uniforms. The looks of horror on their faces wouldn't leave my mind. I avoided stepping on the corpses in the way. As we neared the door, Bastila commented.
"What happened here must have been horrible… this doesn't look like the handiwork of the Sith. These people were literally torn apart while they still breathed."
Juhani winced.
"It is a terrible way to die. But more importantly whatever killed these soldiers is more than likely somewhere within these walls. We must be cautious."
I nodded in agreement as I said.
"We'll stay close together for safety. I won't let either one of you out of my sight."
Bastila tried smiling as she stated.
"That is rather charming, Lena. You are right however. We don't have a remote idea of what we'll be facing past this door."
It would've been easier if we could take the sub directly to the Star Map; however the multi kilometer kolto Rift blocked passage. Not to mention, I agreed to investigate why contact was lost with this base. I knew for certain I wouldn't sacrifice myself or anyone else I cared for in the name of the Republic. The door wouldn't open as I continued pounding on it. I don't know what came over me, but as I hit the door, I yelled.
"If there's anyone on the other side, open the door! We're here on the behalf of the Republic!"
From beyond the door I didn't hear a single sound. The moment I took a step back, unexpectedly the door slid open and I saw a frantic Twi'lek man who wasn't garbed in Republic uniform. Focusing his frenzied gaze on my face, he exclaimed.
"The Selkath, they went crazy! They started killing everything that moved!"
Past the door he came through, there was another sealed door. I didn't say anything as I passed him toward that door. I walked over to the door's control panel, and began hacking the security. Hearing the Twi'lek's receding footsteps, I heard him say.
"No! I locked the door so that the Selkath won't get in. If you open it, we're all done for!"
Surprisingly I had considerable trouble with the security codes. Turning to the Twi'lek, I demanded.
"You don't have to go back in there, but open the door for us!"
"If you want to die, then go!"
He walked over to the panel then franticly punched in the proper code. He didn't wait for the door to fully open, instead he ran to the submarine room with the intent of taking the only sub –the sub I needed. Pulling out my lightsaber, I channeled the Force through it before throwing it horizontally while aiming at the Twi'lek's neck. I watched as my weapon cut through the air as it quickly made contact with the intended target. He only managed to get halfway to the sub as my weapon split his neck from his shoulders. I watched as his green head bounced on the ground then rolled toward the water while his body simply slumped to the ground. Channeling more Force, I pulled the lightsaber back into my grasp.
Everything happened within the timeframe of seconds. I saw the expression on Bastila's face, then Juhani's. I managed to say.
"He intended to take our submarine and destroy our only chance of leaving this damn place if we're overrun."
Bastila wasn't deterred as she said.
"I agree that we should have stopped him, but you didn't have to kill him… so brutally."
"It was instant. He didn't even feel it."
Now Juhani spoke.
"I could have used the Force to freeze him in place. His death was purposeless…"
I felt a jolt of anger as I said.
"Fine, I apologize for upsetting you. Though you should know he was a mercenary. Look at what he's wearing. By killing him, I bet you I spared plenty more lives!"
Bastila walked toward the corpse then crouched down to check its pockets. Finding an ID, she stated.
"Lena is correct. This man is a mercenary, and here it says he's had a number of convictions with charges of murder. I certainly don't feel any sympathy for him, though I admit, the way Lena killed him was utterly un-Jedi-like."
Juhani's features softened at Bastila's words. At that moment I realized I'd have to carefully control myself when on missions with either of them. While at times I felt the need to be ruthless, with Juhani and Bastila around I couldn't give in to it … for their sake at least.
