Hey! This is late, I know, but school work comes first. I'm sure most of you are going to be unhappy with this chapter, but I promise, everything will be fine in the end. Have faith.
Severus lowered his eyes to the paper and read the headline: HEADMASTER AND HEROINE – CONCEALED RELATIONSHIP!
Severus felt his mouth run dry. Their faces and names were plastered across the whole front page. His thoughts immediately darted to Hermione. Did she still get the Daily Prophet, or was she too busy? This is exactly why he wanted to keep things quiet for a little longer; they were going to drag her name through the mud and that was the last thing that he wanted for her. As Severus scanned the article, he found numerous mentions of his affiliation with Death Eaters. The paper slid from his hand, and Severus instantly made his way to his liquor cabinet. Even though he had just gotten out of bed, he needed a very large drink. Severus knew what was coming next – the Ministry would look into his past and activities, no doubt dragging Hermione down in the meantime. They'd question her on everything she did in the past year, and she would undoubtedly protect him and her friends to the point she would most likely get herself into trouble.
"What are you going to do?" Minerva asked as the liquid burned his throat.
"Find out who the rat is," he growled, heading towards the door.
Minerva stopped him (of course the small woman couldn't physically stop him if he didn't allow her to) and made him look at her.
"You need to think this through before you do anything rash,"
"Right," he muttered, ashamed that he had lost his head so easily.
Severus dropped onto the couch and leaned his head back, allowing his eyes to close in concentration. For the first time in his life, Severus had no idea how he was going to handle a situation. Never before had things been so personal. He knew he shouldn't have gotten so involved with her. He was going to destroy her life before it had even begun.
"Severus?" Minerva said quietly.
"Yes?"
"If I can help in anyway, please let me know,"
"No one can help," he muttered more to himself than anyone else.
"Don't hurt her,"
He opened his eyes and saw Minerva staring down at him with a stern face.
"I don't know how I can do anything without hurting her,"
Minerva seemed to know what Severus was thinking before he himself had pondered the thought.
"I'm sure that you two can work through things," she said quietly.
"I don't want her involved, Minerva. This is not her battle,"
"She's already involved,"
"Then I will just have to remove her from the picture,"
He watched as Minerva's eyes grew wide with shock.
"Severus!" she began but he stood and waved his hands at her.
"I don't want to talk about it,"
"She cares for you very much, you can't just do that to her!"
"I know she cares! I know! I cannot have her feeling the need to throw herself at the media's mercy because of this relationship,"
"And if you end it, what is going to stop her from doing that anyway?"
"Hopefully she'll hate me enough to leave me be,"
Minerva scoffed, much like how he did when he used to teach those monsters. His chest was tight with the thoughts buzzing around his head. Severus didn't want to tell her it was over; that was the last thing that he wanted. His throat tightened when images of her flashed through his mind. Her messy hair on the pillow in the morning, the crease between her brows when she read, the way her nose scrunched when she laughed, the way her wrist subtly twisted when casting charms, but especially the glow in her eyes when he secretly caught her gazing at him. He allowed himself another moment to revel in the thought of her warmth before he shut her behind the same door he kept Lily behind for nearly twenty years.
"It must be done," he said quietly, in a definite tone.
"Severus, you are going to hurt that poor girl,"
He knew she would be hurt. She trusted him with everything, and he knew that. She had so much faith in him, he didn't deserve half of what she gave him, and didn't understand it, but he loved her for it. He loved her more than…well, more than anything. She was his world and the reason he carried on through the war. Without her, he didn't know what he was going to do, but he knew that he couldn't allow her to be prosecuted along with him. She needed to move on with her life as he faced his crimes. Perhaps, when all of his business was settled, she would give him a second chance. For now, he had to let her go, for her own good.
Hermione sat in a dingy hotel room, in some run down part of some town. She had lost track of where they were; it was easier than trying to remember. Remus was seated at the wobbly table in the corner, with a candle, reading over some book he had packed with him. He was so kind, and the thought brought a small smile to her face. He was always trying to help people, never asking for anything in return. The two had been acting like Muggles, taking regular transportation and rarely using magic; they were trying to be inconspicuous. On numerous occasions, Hermione told him to go back to his wife and child.
"Absolutely not. I do miss them, but Tonks would be furious if I were to go home with no results. She says you've done so much for us that we need to do something in return," he replied with a tired smile.
Hermione stood and walked to the window. Everything was dark and dirty and it had been raining for nearly three days now. Sighing deeply, Hermione stared at the sky, her thoughts immediately drifting to Severus.
"You can't expect him to answer, I'm sure he is busy with the reconstruction," Remus said from the corner.
She knew that, she just missed him. Her eyes drifted to the ring that sat quietly on her finger. She felt a weight pressing down on her, not being able to see him in so long. It had nearly been a month. She had only sent him one or two quick notes, but he had not responded or sent word on what he was doing. Did he miss her? Hermione felt herself becoming desperate for some word from him, or anyone still at Hogwarts for that matter.
"Ready to go? I've got everything we need," Remus said, standing near the door.
"Yeah," she said with a sigh.
The two set out into the cold rain, following another lead. Supposedly people had seen people looking like her mother and father passing through the town less than a month ago. They were getting very close.
"Do you know where they are now?" Hermione asked a man moving crates of fruit under a green and white stripped awning.
"No, he only worked with me for a few weeks, and then said he was moving with his wife, that's all I know," he barked gruffly.
"Oh…thank you," Hermione said, standing in the rain, feeling more lost than ever.
The man went into his store, the bell jingling behind him as the door shut. Hermione and Remus stood silent in the rain as a car drove slowly by.
"Now what?" she asked.
Remus sighed, water running over his face and dripping from the tip of his nose. He was just as dejected at she was, she noted, as she saw his soaking wet sweater sticking to his small frame. Slowly the two began walking down the sidewalk, lost in their own thoughts. Hermione enjoyed the feeling of the cold rain pouring over her and seeping into her clothing. She felt hopeless. Eventually, Remus called a cab and pulled her into the dry interior. He murmured the address of their hotel to the driver and sat back with a sigh. The two didn't speak or look at one another. The drive was a blur, and Hermione only came to when the cab pulled to a stop in the dreary alley. The two climbed the rickety stairs and walked into the musty room. Remus instantly set to making tea, and Hermione sat at the wobbly table. What were they supposed to do now? What were they going to work with? Remus gave her shoulder a gently squeeze before setting a steaming cup of tea in front of her. They had been together long enough that he knew how she took her tea.
"Thank you," she mumbled, wrapping her fingers around the cup.
Remus took the other chair, bent over his cup, staring into the liquid. Hermione reached over and placed her hand on his thin arm, offering a small smile to him. When his eyes met hers, she gently squeezed his arm.
"I think it's time to go home," she murmured quietly.
"We can't give up now,"
"Remus, we don't have anything to go off of anymore," Hermione replied, pulling her hand away.
"We can keep looking,"
"For what? From all accounts we've had, they're happy with who they are now,"
"Don't you want to see your parents again, or attempt to restore their memories?"
"Of course I do. They'd probably be angry," Hermione murmured, thinking about the time in her basement when Severus had shown up and shouted at her parents. "What if it all goes wrong? The memory charm, I mean,"
"There are very capable people at St. Mungo's who specialize in these areas,"
"Remus, I've been reading about this, the odds of them getting their memories back…"
"At least try,"
Hermione stared into her cup for a long while, her mind darting every which way. She knew what she was going to do, deep down she knew what her answer was.
"If…if I find them, and they're happy…I'm going to leave them," she whispered quietly.
"Can you handle that?" Remus asked gently. Hermione pulled her eyes up to meet his tired ones. "Can you live with that decision and the fact that you'll never see them again?"
"I have you guys," Hermione offered, smiling slightly.
The rest of the day Remus remained buried in his books and Hermione remained seated near the window. As the hours drifted by, Remus discussed the next move they would make with Hermione periodically throwing in her two-sense. They turned in that night, confident with their plans.
