Visions of all sorts came through my dreams. Visions of the newly written future. None however showed Dwalin and I's children. Then I knew in my mind Azog has killed our unborn children. A voice entered my mind, "My dear child, you need to wake up. You are alive, Miriel."
My face scrunched up contorted as more visions came through faster than ever. The familiar voice came again but with urgency, "Wake up, my child!"
I took a sharp intake of breath snapping my eyes open. My chest was heaving up and down quickly. Faster than any elf's in their lifetime. I surveyed the room. It held a few trunks and writing table. My eyes snapped to a presence looming over my person. Arwen moved a sweaty strand of silver hair away from my face. I breathed out, "Emel."
A worried look came from my niece. She turned to a small bowl filled with water grabbing a cloth. Her delicate fingers ringed out the excess water before blotting the sweat away from my face. Once my niece was finished taking away the sweat, she placed the cloth in the bowl.
Her hand moved to cradle my rose colored cheek. Arwen spoke softly, "Grandmother isn't here. You are fine, Auntie. The dwarven healer sewn you. Once I arrived I took extra measures with elven healing."
I reached for my niece's hand giving it a squeeze. I asked, "Where's Dwalin?"
Arwen looked at the door to the room which brought my attention towards it. The brunette answered, "I had to send him away to his king. He did not want to leave your side even when your visions came in with such force. I was afraid he wouldn't be caring for himself."
I couldn't help but ask, "In my visions, it showed no sign of children. Was I...?"
Arwen's lips turned downward. She spoke softly, "I cannot say if you were or not. Only the dwarf shall know."
I could feel the prickle of tears coming out. I placed my free hand towards where my wound was. I clenched my jaw. I sucked in a breath, "I killed my children."
My sweet niece corrected me while using her other hand to run her fingers through my silver hair, "You do not know for certain, Miriel. You did lose a lot of blood from what I have seen. However, your child may still be thriving."
My jaw bounced in short spurts as my emotions of grief, guilt, sadness ran through me. My voice broke, "Does... he know?"
The brunette looked at me before kneeling down beside my bed. She released my other hand before fixing my hair to look presentable from the vision slumber lashings. The younger of the two nodded, "He does but like I mentioned beforehand it is too early to tell if you lost the child or not, Auntie."
Hot burning tears rolled down my cheeks shaking my head. I've became hysterical at the thought of losing my child. I am certain I lost it. The visions can only show proof and what I saw was no children. I asked, "Can I see him?"
Arwen studied my face before bringing up her sleeve to brush any stray tears away. She answered, "I'll send word you are awake and ask for his presence. Now I want you to rest. Your body was strained due to the visions and wound, healer orders."
With those being my niece's last words, she got up to leave the room. Once the door shut closed, I felt more tears run down. I turned to my side curling up in a ball hugging my stomach. I whispered, "I'm sorry my young one. I'm sorry you suffered such fate."
The roles of my niece and I have been switched as I should be the one who would be wiser and comforting if she were ever in this situation but unfortunately that isn't the case.
It has been hours before I heard a knock on my door. I called out, my voice raspy, "Come in."
Looking forward to seeing the bald head of my dwarf but instead I got white hair. My brows knitted together in confusion. Balin moved inside the room before closing the door. I opened my mouth to ask but Balin held a hand up to quiet me. He spoke softly, "Save yer voice, lass. My brother... He well..."
I frowned. My knuckles turned white due to me gripping on my blanket so tightly. Balin shook his head, "He won't come."
I spoke barely a whisper, "He blames me."
I felt blood started to drain from my face as I thought of his placement of blame for the loss of our child. I started to move quickly but winced at the pain in my lower stomach. I slowed my movements before laying back down on the heap of pillows. Balin was quick to my side, "Don't move much, lass. You'll harm yourself."
I clenched the blanket in my hands. I stared at my fisted hands. The flesh around my knuckles turned ghastly white. If possible, more white than it was before. I swallowed a lump, "I didn't see how I could save the bloodline. It would only show me the only, but now not, outcome of Erebor and the line of Durin. I knew there would be dire consequences but I didn't know what it would be."
Balin's hand, slightly smaller than Dwalin's but just as meaty, rest ontop of my left. Balin tried to stray me away from the idea of Dwalin blaming me, "Dwalin may blame himself for allowing you who was with child to fight. Dwalin may be grieving for the loss of your child but in no way he would blame you."
The lump in at the top of my throat seemed to get bigger. I opened my mouth to speak but felt the lump restricting my voice. I closed my mouth immediately. Balin's thumb rubbed my hand softly as he continued to hold my hand. Balin moved so he could look me in the eyes. His voice came out as comforting, "Give him time and he will see you before the night comes. He cannot stay away from you for long."
I nodded at the comforting words from my brother-in-law. I released the blanket with my other hand before placing it ontop of Balin's. I gave his hand a squeeze. Balin gave one final squeeze before releasing my hand. Balin changed subject, "Thorin wants to wait till you're well to have a feast among the company. Dwarves from the Blue Mountains already started to trickle into the mountain and Dale. Bard made home within Dale with his people."
Balin patted his belly, "I'll ask Bombur to bring you food. You should rest. I know, from what I heard, elves' bodies are different from any other race of Middle-Earth but the lady mentioned your body would be tired due to the visions."
I felt my muscles relaxed knowing my mother is here. Despite our strained relationship in my younger years and growing up, I would be comforted by her presence as of late. Balin could see my eyes started to drift. He also knew elves don't need much sleep but it was what is necessary to heal. Balin quietly left the room when he saw my eyes fully closed. He would need to talk to his brother in detail about this.
