The air within the chamber seemed to shift violently as Nicol Bolas strode in, not looking at all as if a wrench had been thrown into his plans- in fact, he seemed almost overjoyed, which was immensely off-putting. His smile seemed to cover up something deeper, but it certainly wasn't anger. It was something a lot more sinister, and something that made Liliana and Jace's stomach's turn- not that this didn't stop Liliana from attempting to sour his mood.
"It's over, Bolas!" She snapped, sounding more defensive than triumphant as she ran to Jace's side. She reached out and grasped his arm, pulling him close to her. Much to Jace's surprise at least, Bolas did nothing to stop her, and simply watched as if he were being entertained. And now that he was close enough, Jace could feel Liliana's heart pounding, her worries that she managed to keep from showing on her face making themselves known elsewhere. "Jace is no longer your slave! This game is finished!"
At first, there was nothing but silence that filled the chamber, but a single, amused chuckle rose above the quiet, and grew into thunderous laughter as Bolas threw his head back and cackled.
"I-I fail to see how this is funny..." Liliana growled as Bolas continued to laugh. His laughter seemed to shake the walls of the cave and filled both Liliana and Jace with paralyzing dread.
"Then, Liliana, my dear, you've failed completely!" Nicol Bolas chuckled with a hiss. "While I feel I must commend you on dragging Jace out from under my thumb, you're no closer to victory than before. You see, people are just as easy to manipulate without mind control- and leagues more amusing."
With a simple wave of his hand, Liliana felt her knees buckle and her legs weaken. The world seemed to spin about her chaotically as she fell to her knees. She could hardly feel the sensation of her skin meeting the hard, rocky ground- in fact, she could hardly feel anything aside from a sharp pain that built up in the very back of her skull before exploding throughout her entire head. She reached up and grasped at her head, moaning in agony. - or at least, she figured she did. Her entire body felt distant and her movements hardly felt like she was making them at all.
"Liliana!" Jace gasped as he dropped down beside her. He placed his hands on her shoulders, but she hardly seemed to acknowledge he was even there. He looked to Bolas, who crossed his arms proudly and smirked back at him. "What did you do to her!?"
"It's a spell I've kept around just in case- never thought I'd ever get the chance to use it, but it seems even I can be wrong about some things." Bolas sneered. "Liliana allowed me to bore into her mind at the beginning of this little game, so that I could cast a spell to keep people like you from reading her mind. And had she done as she was told, that would have been all it was." His words grew sharp as he glared down at Liliana, who struggled to lift her head and meet his gaze. She continued to make pained noises and take in quick, dry gasps of air, but that was all she could muster.
"However, it seems my hand has been forced, so now I'll use that very spell I planted in her mind to completely destroy it- slowly, bit by bit. Which now, Jace, leaves you with a very important choice." Bolas continued, taking a few threatening steps in their direction. "Either you continue to be the hero- save the plane and the multiverse and stop me- and watch as the one person you love the very most slowly be reduced to nothing, or you unleash and hand over to me what is rightfully mine, and I allow her to live."
"You... monster..." Liliana managed to wheeze.
"Now, now, I'd save my breath if I were you." Bolas warned mockingly. "I'd consider what you really want to be your last words if I were you- that is, if Jace wants to be the hero."
"Liliana... I... I can't..." Jace muttered, feeling the sensation of her reaching out and clutching tightly at his shirt.
"Clock's ticking, little mind mage." Bolas chuckled. "Save the multiverse, or the girl who has become your entire world. It's a tough decision, I know, but in the end I'm sure you'll make the one that will make both of us very happy."
Movement coming from behind Nicol Bolas caught both his and Jace's attention as someone leaped out from the darkness. And, as sudden an attack as it was, Bolas hardly even flinched as he held a hand aloft to stop the attacker's blade- the silvery metal not even digging into his skin. Jace looked on in shock, but Bolas, on the other hand, seemed more annoyed than surprised as he turned to meet the angry gaze of his attacker.
"Tezzeret... well, if this isn't an unpleasant surprise..." He grumbled. "Seems all of the insubordinates are crawling out of the woodwork for the grand finale- although your timing couldn't be any less poor."
"You... Bastard..." Tezzeret seethed as he attempted to apply more pressure to the blow that Bolas had already completely stopped, but his blade failed to draw even the smallest drop of blood. "You promised Baltrice wouldn't get hurt! You swore to me that you would make sure she wouldn't die!"
"Baltrice did...?" Jace gasped, although his comment went largely ignored.
"Honestly, is this why you're behaving like such a dramatic fool? Can't you see I'm busy?" Bolas asked as he rolled his eyes. Reaching up with his free hand, he grasped at Tezzeret's arm and, with one swift motion, easily twisted and threw him over his shoulder. Tezzeret's body met the ground roughly, his blade being knocked from from his hand as he tumbled a good distance away from Bolas who, surprisingly, didn't move to make a counter attack. He simply watched as Tezzeret groaned and coughed in pain as he rose back up to his knees, glaring daggers at the dragon who hardly even flinched in response. "I'm a dragon of my word- I wouldn't lie to you."
"And those brats who say they saw her die were!?" Tezzeret snarled. "What are you playing at, Bolas!?"
"Well, I guess I do have... a small bit of time to spare on sating you..." Bolas grumbled as he looked back at Jace and Liliana, who was struggling more and more with each passing second to breath. "And at this point there's really nothing to lose in telling you, seeing as your usefulness to me is finally at an end."
"My usefulness? So, what, I was just a pawn to you!?" Tezzeret snarled. "Baltrice was just a pawn to you!?"
"You are all pieces in this game- none of you were or continue to be anything special. People like you and Sarkhan and Jace are nothing but pawns... but Baltrice, she was a very important piece, and probably one of my more intricate creations."
"C-creations?" Tezzeret gasped. "What do you mean... by 'creations'!" He seemed visibly shaken at that point, staggering even though he had been solidly standing. With an amused laugh, Bolas extended his hand, as if he were casting a spell, although Tezzeret or anyone else didn't seem to be affected.
"I found it very admirable of Sorin that he had the power to create angels like Avacyn. It was certainly something I considered doing, but hardly found much of a reason to go about doing it myself- that is, until you came along." Bolas explained as a strange wind began to blow about the chamber. Bits of dust and rock that were picked up began to burn bright like embers in the air. "Maybe in an act of spite from your original counterpart, each new iteration of Tezzeret became harder and harder to control. Your mind became impenetrable, but your services- well, you were always such a loyal asset, so I had to stoop down to other tactics to controlling you.
"And so, I made my own angel- or, I suppose in this case the term 'succubus' would be more accurate- and shaped her in the likeness of a former associate of Tezzeret's. Some say she died somewhere before the war on Ravnica, others speculate she received Jace Beleren's call for help and ignored it out of spite- but regardless of the circumstances, the planeswalker formerly known as Baltrice never arrived on Ravnica, and was never trapped here like the rest of us. But she could still be of use, even if she wasn't present, and I made very good use of her likeness to trigger some form of guilt in you that would attract you to her... well, among other things."
"Baltrice... Baltrice was never even... None of that was real!?" Tezzeret gasped, sounding like Bolas had just punched him in the gut.
"Oh, on the contrary, Tezzeret, Baltrice was very real- I made her to be real." Bolas corrected him with a grim as the embers that danced about the air began to collect around his hand. "She had her own will, her own personality that was free of any of my meddling, and acted as she saw fit. That being said, she would become whatever you wanted- whatever you needed at any given time, and had natural instincts given to her that would lead her to you and to draw you to her. She will always be everything you ever wanted, and so long as I live, she will never die."
The brightly-burning embers slowly began to converge, shifting and melding together as a form began to take shape. Tezzeret looked on as if he were watching something absolutely horribly gruesome was taking place before his very eyes. Out of the maze of embers and smoke, Bolas summoned up a body made up of dazzling, crackling flame, and even before they began to extinguish themselves, Tezzeret already recognized who it was- although he clearly didn't want to believe any of it. Standing before him, naked and holding herself as if she were a limp puppet held up by strings, was Baltrice looking exactly as he remembered her- bits and pieces of her flesh still glowing red. Steam rose from her body, still hot from the flames.
"No..." Tezzeret murmured. "This... this isn't..."
"Right?" Bolas finished cruelly as he reached around to affectionately stroke Baltrice's chin. She didn't react at all, her eyes looking blankly down at the ground. "But how can it be so wrong? Your dearly beloved Baltrice will always be here for you- eternal and loyal to you. Not even death can claim her- the perfect doll. I would never lie to you, Tezzeret, and I've given you everything you've ever wanted."
"What you've given me... is nothing but lies!" Tezzeret shouted. "All of this has just been one, big manipulation! My loyalty to you was because of something that wasn't even real!"
"Even so, didn't she make you happy?" Bolas asked snidely.
"She only made me happy because that's what she was created to do!" Tezzeret snapped back as he angrily began to approach Bolas, blue sparks leaping forth from his one etherium hand "She only loved me because you made her to! None of what she felt... none of what she did for me was real! I fell in love with nothing but your illusions! I gave you my loyalty because she had, because that was the only way I figured we could be together... but now I don't see any reason why I shouldn't pluck your eyes right out of your damn skull!"
A sickeningly moist noise cut Tezzeret off- like the sound of someone slicing a piece of meat. He stammered and shuddered, stopping in his tracks as he slowly, shakily gazed downward. The tip of his own blade poked out from his stomach, dripping in blood that poured down onto the ground at his feet. It suddenly became a struggle to breath as he tasted metal, a spray of blood escaping his lips as he coughed. The crimson liquid splattered against Bolas' face, who hardly so much as reacted with anything but a cruel smile. Horrified, Tezzeret looked behind him, only to find Baltrice standing right behind him, his blade clutched in her now blood-dyed hands, her gaze still blank and unfeeling.
"Now, Tezzeret, you really know how to hurt a girl." Bolas mocked as Baltrice yanked the blade out from his body. Tezzeret stumbled only a few steps before his knees buckled and he fell to the ground. Searing pain and numbness from blood-loss began to blend together as blood filled his mouth, making it a chore to breath. Or maybe that was something else. "I could have given you power beyond your wildest dreams, and she could have given you more love than you would ever deserve, but you instead decide to cast all of that aside. And, now, in the end, it's your loss- not mine." Bolas loomed over him, sneering from ear to ear as he spoke.
"You're dismissed, Tezzeret."
Tezzeret looked up at Baltrice who looked down at him with zero feeling in her eyes. He was nothing to her, just as she was nothing to him... but why did it still hurt? Why did it still sting to even consider that more than the wound in his gut?
I wish I never met her... I wish none of this had happened...
It all started when I lost my arm- this cyclone of despair that has dragged me down and suffocated me. Until then I was normal- or at least passed as normal. And for me back then, that was more than enough. Passing was what got me by day-to-day. Passing is what got me an education, and kept me from being singled out and exiled. And passing is what got me into the army- somewhat anyway. I was brought on to the force under secret circumstances- scouted for my talents as an artificier that I had thought I had so cleverly hidden away. But still, a job was a job, and it was better than nothing, so I took it.
I had secured a place for myself among them- my commanding officers, my comrades in arms- as an elite sniper, although my skills were only because my etherium bullets would hit any target regardless of whether or not I used a scope. My higher ups respected me, and the men and women below me looked up to me- it was a dangerous life, but one that I was thankful to have. I had found a place I felt like I truly belonged, even though I still had to keep my share of secrets. I was happy. I was content. And I was, unbeknownst to be, in a very precarious position. Any wrong move, and my life would be swept up in disaster, and that push in the wrong direction came in the form of an enemy airstrike during one of my team's missions.
They told me I was lucky to be alive at all, but I hardly felt lucky. I had lost a good number of comrades- a good number of friends- and on top of that, I had lost one of my arms. And among the haze of painkillers and suffering, I couldn't help but pick up chatter about discharging me. I was damaged, and couldn't be of use to the people who had become my family. Upon my recovery, I'd be taken back to where I'd come from to eke out a living a broken man.
Needless to say, I didn't want that. I had found my place there, and it was in danger of being ripped out from under me. I had to do something, and I was desperate. Desperate enough to even blow my entire cover, even.
I had figured that my being a mage wouldn't matter at that point. I had the respect of so many people, and I had forged enough bonds and friendships and had become useful to so many people, I assumed they would all be able to see past it. So I forged myself a new arm, and inevitably sealed my fate. Before I had a moment to regret my decision or even explain myself, everything crumbled away before my very eyes.
The people I had fought alongside for years turned against me, and I became a criminal among my own men. Not even the people who had brought me there in the first places knowing I was an artificier stuck their necks out to help me. Before I could even catch my breath I had been sent away with a dishonorable discharge marring my good name, and the truth of my linage marring my body. And, in the end, I had no one really to blame but myself. And thus my new life began steeped in self-hatred, which was only dwarfed by the amount of hatred given to me by everyone else I happened to come across.
I survived off small jobs for several years, which was really impressive, looking back. I'm honestly surprised I didn't die of starvation in a alleyway somewhere, or get killed by a wandering hate group- instead I got money where I could find it and lived my life as a drifter lurking in the shadows. Some jobs were extremely temporary, some were all under the table, and I'm pretty sure all of them were on different levels of illegal. Not that I cared at that point- whatever got me my next meal or a place to stay the night. I didn't care my employers couldn't look me in the eyes, or that the people I was forced to work with treated me like a leper. It was the life I felt I deserved.
However, someone else didn't seem to see it that way, and that meddlesome person was Sorin Markov. I don't know how he tracked me down, or how he managed to find me, but our first meeting just so happened to be when I was drinking away my troubles- of which I had many, which required a lot of alcohol. I'm honestly don't know what Sorin, a self-respecting man who was the dean of a very well-known school for magic folk (whose family had actually founded and greatly funded the school, according to him), wanted to do with or even saw in a stubborn, depressed drunk, but he saw something, and that something got be a job teaching at his academy.
It was thankless in comparison to the army, and it was boring in comparison to making a living doing jobs that would have probably gotten me arrested, but it was earning enough money to support myself, and it was in a place where I was among similar people- albeit they were often disrespectful because of some adolescent instinct to do so instead of the fact I was a mage. And out of all of them none were as disrespectful as Baltrice.
Baltrice was in her second year when I first met her, and the second my coworkers saw her name on my attendance sheets, I was warned of her behavior. She had a reputation of being absolutely uncooperative, often stopping class entirely because of her disruptions. I had been told and I thought I was prepared, but in the end nothing could prepare me for the real thing. Standing against her was like standing against a force of nature.
She had medium length hair the color of ash, and a rotten attitude- and although her hair was always changing, her attitude hardly did. She was nothing but barbs, talk-backs and sarcasm, and seemed to only have taken the class because she had a passion for burning things. Her projects were often times nothing but piles of burnt metal, and one time I distinctly remember that she crafted a crudely shaped penis. And her foul attitude was nothing short of infectious, and by the time our semester together was over I was thankful to have her gone and gave her a passing grade just so I wouldn't have to see her again.
But I did.
It was late after school, after a lot of people had gone home. Clubs were long since dismissed for the day, and the entire building seemed to be entirely deserted. I was only around because I had a particularly large amount of tests to grade that I had put off long enough, and especially detested bringing home my work with me. All I wanted at that point was a drink and time enough to return home and relax. But upon my exiting, I couldn't help but hear something that managed to echo through the quiet, empty hallway.
It was an old song I hadn't heard since my youth, and whoever was singing it was doing so perfectly. The melody was sad and haunting, and as much as I had wanted to return home, I couldn't help but be drawn to the source. Led away from the exit doors, I found myself at the entrance to the theater, the doors slightly ajar and letting the singing leak easily through. I paused there, considering possibly just listening in a few moments more and taking my leave, but instead I found myself pushing against the door and reverently letting myself in- and the resulting shock almost knocked me clean onto my ass.
Baltrice stood alone on the stage, unaware of my presence as she sang. I suspected it was some kind of trick at first- that maybe she was just lip-syncing, but it really made no sense for her to be doing so all by herself, and the performance seemed much too convincingly real to be a hoax. I stayed until the end, feeling almost hypnotized by her song as she continued, unaware of my presence. But, once she had finished, she caught sight of me and the spell was quickly broken.
"Well, if it isn't Tizzeret!" She exclaimed, hands on her hips and holding herself like she was declaring victory. "Aren't you a little far away from your department?" She didn't seem at all ashamed I had walked in on her as much as I was, and I could feel my face turning red.
"It's Tezzeret, and I was just on my way home..." I began to say as she jumped off the stage. However, my curiosity got the best of me, as much as I wanted to return to how things had been when she had been in my class: at each other throats, practically made of hostility. "Why are you here? That... that song...?"
"Heh, you like it?" She smirked, smoothing back her hair that she had now cut mercilessly short. "It's a solo piece for choir- a lot of people are after it and I need to get all the practice in that I can if I want to beat down the competition."
"You... in choir?" I snorted. It seemed absolutely out-of-place, and I wondered if I misheard her. "Excuse me for saying, but you hardly seem the type..."
"Well, Tizz-Tazz, I'm full of surprises." She gloated. "And let me tell you, my performances aren't free."
"E-excuse me?" I asked, feeling the conversation shift, but having no idea where in the world it had even gone.
"You just got yourself a sneak peak of my future solo, and for that kind of service you're gonna have to pay up." She went on, continuing to leave me in the dust in the conversation. "I'm not asking for much, just treat me to a couple of drinks."
"I-I'm sorry, but are you asking me to buy you something to drink because I just happened to accidentally hear you practicing?" I questioned, narrowing my eyes. "I really hope you're not expecting me actually agree to this."
"Unless you like your junk not cooked well done, I have to ask you to reconsider." She sneered, and I could tell in her eyes that it wasn't just an empty threat. "A couple of drinks, or some deep-fried ball sack?"
"I don't know who you think you are, threatening a teacher..." A grumbled, but she could tell by the look on my face that she had won.
"Just a good negotiator." She chuckled, taking the lead out of the theater. "I was hoping to go out for drinks with my man, but he hasn't shown up, so you're a passable replacement."
"Your man?" I couldn't help but ask. Baltrice paused, seeming contemplative before shaking her head.
"Forget it, it's none of your business anyway." She sighed. "You're just my former metal-working teacher, I'm not at liberty to tell you anything about my personal life."
"But you are at liberty to threaten me to buy you something to drink..." I muttered under my breath.
"What was that?"
"I-I mean..." I stammered, catching the angry look in her eyes. "So... what do you want? Juice, soda? There's some soda machines around the corner. Coffee?" She clicked her tongue and looked at me as if I were a child, and I had to restrain myself from striking her.
"No, moron. That's a bunch of little-kid shit. I mean alcohol- booze!" She corrected harshly
"Well, excuse me if I think you're still a kid. And there's no way I'll be able to keep my job if I'm caught taking a minor out to buy alcohol." I grumbled. "No thanks, I'm out."
"Oh come on, you big baby! No one's going to get into any trouble if nobody blabs." She smirked. "This isn't my first rodeo- I know a few places that I've... persuaded in accepting my patronage. I get my drinks, and you get off breaking the law scot free."
"Oh, goodie." I muttered to myself, unable to do nothing but follow her out the door like an obedient dog. And my mood more or less stayed at that same, unamused, exhausted level as she led me to one of the many bars in town that she had more or less blackmailed her way into being a frequent customer of. I remember the looks we got from the staff- how they looked at Baltrice like she was going to burn down their establishment at any second and me like I was a no-good person for taking a girl so young out drinking, like I had done it of my own free will. I treated her to a few beers and left a hefty tip at the counter when we left- I don't even remember what we discussed. It was uncomfortable as it was uneventful, and I was glad to be free if her when we parted. I figured I'd finally be free of her at that point, and that I would never cross paths with her again.
But I did.
It seemed whoever Baltrice was seeing had a very bad habit of not showing up whenever they planned to meet, and my more or less forced willingness to treat her to a drink had brought her coming back- like feeding a stray cat. She'd appear at my office as I was getting ready to leave, or would be waiting for me just outside the campus building. I couldn't escape her, but only because she kept on finding me somehow.
Things went from annoying to commonplace quickly, and it's almost frightening how quickly I got used to taking one of my former students- who was hardly the age to be smoking as much as she did, much less the age to be consuming alcohol- out for a round of drinks after school. They certainly weren't memorable outings- far from it. The only lasting sensation they left me with was a lighter feeling in my wallet with each visit from my trying to tip away all of my guilt. But they persisted, one day after the next.
There was one day, however, that stood out among the others. It was right after the beginning of the next school year, after a few days had passed and Baltrice had yet to re-materialize. I had been beginning to think that maybe she'd finally moved on to suckering in someone else to treat her to booze, but sure enough, much to my amazing luck, she came waltzing into my office just before I was getting ready to leave. She made the same jokes, and said a lot of the same, vague threats to get me to do what she wanted, but... there was an odd lack of bite that day that I really couldn't help but notice. She seemed weary, and sort of struck me like she'd already been drinking. But, it was business as usual on the surface, thus bringing us back to the usual place, drinking the usual drinks.
"Hey..." She spoke up at one point during the night, holding aloft her half-drunken glass of whiskey and gazing back at the contents like it was going to impart the secrets of the universe. At first I thought I'd misheard, or maybe she'd been trying to hail down the bartender, but the moment I went back to focusing on my own drink, she spoke again. "Do you think I'm a bad person?"
"Excuse me?" It was such a strange question coming from her, I couldn't help but need some sort of clarification. This time, I thought, this time I must have misheard her.
"You know- like rotten or no good?" She elaborated, still focusing on her glass.
"Well, that's a really odd thing to ask the guy you've been threatening into buying to alcohol on a regular basis." I snorted. "Which, if you haven't been keeping track, is a pretty awful thing to do..." I expected a lot of things to come out of her mouth after that- a lot of unpleasant things, maybe a few threats, some cursing- but I didn't expect her to weakly chuckle and knock back her drink, oddly not sharp or barbed at all, just strangely accepting of my comment.
"That makes sense..." She sighed, setting down her drink and pushing back her chair. "Certainly explains a lot."
"Explains a lot about what?"I asked, but got no response as she hopped out of her seat and took her leave without another word. And there's really not much you can do at that point, in that kind of situation. Either you sit around and just leave a drunken teen to her own stupid devices, figuring whatever happens to her is her own fault, or you let your own guilt get the better of you and go after them. And in that moment when she left, I saw something familiar in her eyes- something that reminded me of myself at my lowest point. It was certainly an odd time to suddenly become responsible, considering where I was and what I had just been doing, but I left my payment on the counter (just a random wad of bills I haphazardly counted) and hurried after her.
She hadn't gotten very far, just a few doors down resting her entire body against the wall of a nearby business. I couldn't tell, over the sound of passing cars, if she was sobbing or dry heaving or both, but whatever it was, she was making a decent amount of noise.
"Baltrice!" I called out to her, running over to her and only stopping when she looked over her shoulder and hit me with a glare that made me question if maybe she had a little bit of gorgon in her lineage. "A-are you okay?"
"Wow, look at you, suddenly all concerned." She grumbled, her usual harsh tone sounding forced, or like it was covering something else up. "Why the hell do you care all of a sudden?"
"Because you're drunk and obviously something is wrong..." I muttered before sighing and shaking my head. "Look, if you don't really want to tell me, I'm more than happy to go. Just say the word and I'm gone." Baltrice was quiet at first, still glaring back at me as if she were silently warning me to keep my distance. But then she finally spoke, her voice full of emotion that I didn't even know she possessed. It was like we were back at the theater again, with her voice I had no idea she had in her.
"I didn't come to this school under normal circumstances. My parents weren't mages, and they didn't send me here hoping I'd get an education free of discrimination. I was sent here because they were afraid of me." She explained bitterly. "My dad was a real piece of work- a honest-to-goodness pile of shit, through and through. He had this nasty habit of getting really drunk and hitting my mom, like it was a personal hobby of his or something. He did it a lot, but she never really tried to leave him- probably because she knew she couldn't raise a kid on her own. But I didn't really see any of that, I just saw the bastard hitting my mom so... one day I summoned all my strength and burned the shit out of him- fried that fucker to a crisp, just barely short of killing him... I thought my mom would be thankful, I thought I'd used my powers for good but... it turned me into a monster.
"For years after that my mom refused to touch me. She neglected me and avoided me until she found the opportunity to get rid of me, and sent me here. Of course, there was always every awkward summer where I'd return, and she'd treat me like an unwelcome spirit invading her home. But I always held on to that shred of hope that she'd come around and remember I was her damn daughter... But turns out I've been relieved of that title. I'm a daughter to no one, turns out."
"What do you mean?" I dared to ask, approaching her as the hands she had against the wall balled up into fists.
"She... she left me. She packed her bags and left without telling me why or where she was going. I returned home this summer to an empty apartment. She didn't even tell the landlord where she was headed- she told nobody... all so that she could escape the monster who returned to her very summer to torment her! The monster that she wants to pretend she didn't bring into this world! That monster that killed her real daughter..."
"Baltrice-"
"So am I a bad person!?" She asked me again as she whirled around, her face wet with tears. "Am I so awful a person that I deserve to be abandoned!?"
"I-" I stammered, still overcome by the shock that Baltrice even had the emotional capacity to cry. I was a metal-working teacher, not a counselor. Obviously dealing with the complicated personal lives of my students didn't come with the territory of teaching them to weld metal together.
"Well!?" She shrieked, staggering where she stood as she shouted at me. "Am I!?"
"Of course not!" I finally shouted back, and she jumped a little in surprise, much to my own. I tried again, much more softly that time. "O-of course not... no one deserves to be abandoned, not even you."
Before events began to unfold in front of me I had already what was probably going to happen the next day, after all this. Baltrice would show up at my office, her usual, smug self, come tel tell me to just pretend that the night before had never happened, or just avoid talking about it all together. We'd go back to how our relationship was before that night, and it would be like a phantom whose existence we would never be sure actually happened in our lives. The same time the next day, things would return to how that always were.
But that was the future, and the present was Baltrice tearing up even more and throwing herself at me. The present was Baltrice throwing her arms around me and buried her face against my chest to cry, like I was her vanished parent come back for her. The present was me awkwardly wrapping my arms around her as she sobbed. The present was me drying her eyes and saying sweet nothings that seemed to calm her down and helping her back to the dorms. The present was her staggering to the front doors and stopping at the entrance to turn around and face me. And the present was her saying something that was both so quiet and slurred I could hardly understand it, and wouldn't understand for some time afterward.
I returned to my own apartment later that night, feeling like a piece of my soul had been sucked out of me I was so exhausted. I just had to sleep it off, I figured, and this strange, topsy-turvy night would vanish with the stars come morning. I was ready for what I had expected to happen the next day, and prepared myself to try and forget what had transpired for Baltrice's sake, at least.
But I wasn't ready for what really happened.
Baltrice never showed up the next day, or the day after that, or the day after that. And the day after that came the whispers. I heard them all day: quiet, harsh words and hushed gasps and muffled giggles, all paired with Baltrice's name. Maybe I was just hearing things, I thought to myself. Maybe having Baltrice on the brain was starting to truly become unhealthy for me. But then I happened upon one of the school newspapers, and the life that Baltrice led outside of our little meetings after school- outside of me treating her to drinks and having to sit through her banter on about things that really hardly mattered- came to light. I learned about her strange relationship with Rakdos, and all the little intimate details she only ever vaguely mentioned to me. I learned about her entire secret life that she only brought up in cryptic words and phrases, and so had the entire school.
I wanted to find out more, but it wasn't like I was her teacher at the time, or like any of her romantic escapades with Rakdos were any of my business. Me trying to get to the bottom of what had happened would only add fuel to the fire, I felt, so I kept my head down and my ear to the ground to try and hear what had happened to her. And, at the end of every day, I'd wait at the bar until close, waiting for her to show up.
It was none of my business, but I couldn't get how sad she had looked the last time we had seen one another out of my head. Her tears stained my memories pertinently, and what she had said still resonated in my mind. I felt like a fool, but that wasn't stopping me.
It wasn't until a couple, good weeks had passed before my patience was finally rewarded. Once again, Baltrice hadn't shown, and once again I made the usual trip down to the usual bar, but what waited for me there was unusual indeed- or at the very least, surprising. There, sitting at the bar, sipping her drink like she hadn't a care in the world, was Baltrice. She seemed to notice my presence just as I noticed hers, and looked up from her drink to greet me with an exhausted smile.
"Well, you sure know how to keep a girl waiting." She spoke jokingly. "And here I thought I was going to have to pay for my own drinks for once."
"Where did you go?" I asked her sternly. "What the hell happened!?"
"My, getting right to the point, how forward of you." She chuckled as she knocked back her drink. "Though I'm sure you aren't... totally unaware of what happened to me. The whole school knows, you know, it's common knowledge. Baltrice, the miserable little slut, was banging the physical education teacher- not that that's the whole story... not that anyone cares."
"...I care." I dared to say, and she perked up just a bit, just enough to be noticeable. "You vanished without a word of explanation, and I don't even have to go into how hypocritical that is."
"Ooh, harsh." Baltrice laughed as she called out to the staff to put her drink "on her tab" (which was something she never mentioned having while I bought her only gods know how many drinks).
"You owe me an explanation, at least!" I demanded as she slid from her chair and approached me.
"Yeah... I guess I do, don't I?" She sighed as she passed by me, nudging my arm with her shoulder. "Let's take a walk."
"Is this going to take long, or...?" I asked suspiciously as I followed her out.
"Depends on how you react in the end, I guess." She said with a shrug, and began walking in a random direction, and I obediently followed behind. She was quiet at first, hands reverently clasped behind her back as she looked up at the sky that was slowly growing darker- the last pinks and oranges of the sunset being consumed by the cover of night. I almost spoke up to try and get the ball rolling, but before I even could, she spoke up.
"I've been seeing Rakdos... well, was seeing Rakdos for a while. Our romance started almost like this, just drinks and talking. He seemed to understand me, and I was after any kind of companionship I could find. I was happy with him for a while, and he was satisfied with me, and for a while that sated the both of us." She began to weave her tale like she was recalling fond memories, but things began to sour quickly. "But he began to become dissatisfied with me- showing up less, making excuses, going days without speaking. It's why I started latching on to you, because the person I thought loved me left a void in my heart- to wax poetically."
"So what happened!?" I dared to pry.
"The truth happened." She answered angrily. "I found out he was seeing someone else, so I confronted him about it... and well, let's just say he didn't take well to me knowing as much as I did. I don't even remember what I said save for a couple of things, but my throat was raw for days from all the yelling."
"How did the entire school find out?" I continued to ask, question after question. "It was in the school newspapers! Did he tell anyone... did you!?"
"Of course not, Rakdos would never tell anyone anything that would put his job on the line. Hard to make a living these days when you're a demon." Baltrice snorted. "But me... I told someone I thought I trusted- another person who I thought was an ally in this sea of assholes, but, obviously, they didn't hesitate to throw me under the bus for a scoop. The very day the papers went into print, I was punished and sentenced to completing my time here at this school as a member of the night class, a place for delinquents and dangerous people, when all I did was seek companionship. And Rakdos... well, obviously, you'll see he still has his job, and no doubt his paramour as well. He gets a slap on the wrist, and I get the brunt of the punishment- it's almost hilarious."
"...Are you okay?" I asked, partially regretting it as she turned to face me, her expression sharp and furious. "I mean, of course you're not okay, I just can't help but ask-" She cut me off with laughter- it was just barely loud enough to climb over the surrounding noise, but it was enough to silence me.
"Do you know what the real tipping point was with me and Rakdos, though?" She asked, her expression softening as she made her way back, closer to me. I personally felt like a deer caught in the headlights, unable to move. "It wasn't because his feelings for me had cooled, or that he was seeing someone else. No, the straw that broke the camels back was when I told him that... I'd found someone else."
"Someone else?" I parroted. "Who else could you have-" But before I could finish she placed her hands firmly on my shoulders and pulled me down so that we were face to face. She was too swift to stop, and I was too shocked to even try, and before I could even comprehend what had happened, our lips were pressed together. She tasted like alcohol and cigarettes and smelled like an extinguished fire. She held me captive for what felt like hours, her lips traveling over and locking mine. It was as if she had me under a spell that only was broken when she let me go- and the first thing I did was leap away like I expected her to do it again.
"I-I- You... YOU!" I stammered, only able to form clips of phrases and point accusingly.
I remember her smile so vividly- it wasn't smug or snide or cruel or victorious. It was just a genuine smile, and in that moment she out-shined the streetlights and headlights of passing cars.
"I love you, Tezzeret."
Those words. Those words were the words that sealed my fate. I wish I never head them. I wish I never met her. I wish I never saw her smile or tasted her lips or felt her skin or let her lure me in the way she did. I regret everything, down to the last second... but not as much as I regret still wishing I could see that smile one last time or hear her say she loved me once more. I wish I didn't love her. I wish... Oh how I hope... But where have wishes ever gotten me before? Where has hope gotten me?
Please don't look down at me like that, like you don't know me.
I love you, Baltrice.
