A/N: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! Hope you guys had a great Thanksgiving (: Disclaimer: These characters aren't mine, but unfortunately, any mistakes are.
Lesson #52: Gared is king of the snails
"This is absolute shit."
I held out the Swear Jar, and Emmett deposited a dime.
"You know what?" Emmett threw in thirty-five cents, "This is fucking shit."
"If the kids aren't around, why is he still putting in money-," Rosalie started.
"Sh," I stopped her before Emmett could realize. His penchant for swearing provided me with a stable toll fund.
"Why haven't they put my boy on the field as yet?" Emmett huffed, "Even Ely is on!"
"Hey," Edward nudged him, "She plays just as well as the other three."
"Put on number seven!" Emmett called.
I watched you babies run across the field in your little soccer costumes, your knee high socks dirtied with mud. I had snapped about fifty pictures before the game had even started, and made sure to call out all the cheers I knew. Roy, you were oblivious to my cheering. Eric, you ignored me. Emily, I could see you rolling your eyes even from my spot in the stands and Gar, like the sweet cheeks you are, you gave me two thumbs up. I know you're twelve now, but whenever I look at you all I still see you as potato spuds, blurry in the screen of the ultrasound.
"He's on!" Emmett squealed, "Eric is on!"
Note: He actually squealed.
"Ten bucks says Emily scores the first goal," Riley pulled out his wallet.
"Make it fifteen, honey," Jessica added distractedly as she chided their seven year old girl, Lauren.
"Are you kidding me? Have you seen how fast Roy runs?" Edward said, "Twenty says Roy makes a shot without one defender within five feet of him."
"Twenty bucks on Eric touching the ball twice for the whole game," Emmett threw in his cash.
"Are you betting on my babies?" I squawked.
They all froze.
I narrowed my eyes at them before pulling out two crisp notes, "Forty on Gared spending the rest of the game escorting snails off of the field."
Tip: Never bet against Mommy.
Tip #2: On second thought –never bet.
Forty minutes later I was the proud owner of fifty-five dollars. You all wouldn't remember, but Gared got an extra scoop of ice cream that night.
Like it? Love it? Hate it? Know you would go bankrupt if you had to put money into a swear jar? I know I certainly would. Tell me about it, I'd love to hear! Also, do people actually bet on their kids? I feel like parents do.
~CH
