The Gauntlet
Chapter 54
House tipped back and forth in the big leather chair, rocking patiently as he studied the swirling design on the ceiling tile above his head. He wondered if the designs were put there for aesthetic purposes because they were random and actually quite ugly. They didn't make sense; just a bunch of dots, haphazardly littering the rectangular space. But, he supposed that they were put there for people like him who had to occupy themselves with the mediocrity of life while waiting for their best friend to deign to come to work so they could bitch about what the fuck they were thinking when they agreed to let their boss make dinner plans for them.
Finally, the door to the office opened and House swiveled around in the chair. Wilson jumped at the sudden movement; he was clearly not expecting anyone to be in there. And why should he? House was sitting in the dark.
"Good, God…you scared the life out of me," Wilson wheezed, switching on the light and entering the room fully now that he knew his intruder wasn't going to ax murder him. Though, after last night, House was tempted…
"No need for compliments," House quipped flatly.
Wilson rolled his eyes at him and deposited his briefcase and coat by his coat rack. "Why are you in my office? At…" he checked his watch, "8:15 in the morning?"
"Hmm, lets see…" House held his thumb and forefinger on his chin in mock contemplation. "I seem to remember a dinner last night. One in which, you and the evil succubus partook in."
Wilson narrowed his eyes speculatively at him as he put on his lab coat preparing for the day. "Yes, I went to dinner with Cuddy last evening. It was Thursday. We always have dinner on Thursday."
House tilted his head pointedly at him. "I know."
"I know, you know. So why are you asking?" He looked wary, cautious… like maybe he was pretending to not be culpable…
"That's a good question," House drawled bouncing the tip of his cane off of his Chuck Taylor's on Wilson's desk.
Wilson sighed in irritation and furrowed his brow. "What is this about, House? Because, I really don't have time to play one of your convoluted mind games this morning."
"Et tu Brute… you never want me to go to dinner with you and She-who-must-not-be-named, why now all of a sudden?"
Wilson stared at him and rounded the corner of his desk to come to stand over him. "I don't know what you're talking about," he stated and tipped his chair forward, effectively dumping House's feet onto the floor and out of his seat in the process.
Limping away from the desk, House palmed two Vicodin and dry-swallowed them down. His leg was still bothering him from sitting outside Thirteen's door on the cold floor for an hour last night after he'd come back from pizza. Stupid, but ultimately worth the aggravation.
"So, what you're telling me is that you didn't conspire with Cuddy to have me come to dinner with you?" he accused.
Wilson paused and looked at him before taking his seat, now thoroughly confused. "What? Conspire with… House, I really have no idea what you're talking about. Cuddy and I went to dinner like we usually do."
House folded himself into the chair opposite the oncologist's desk. He contemplated this for a minute and then shook his head. Sometimes Wilson was a really good liar, but he seriously looked like he might actually be innocent. "She planned it herself."
"Wait," Wilson held his hand up to him. "What exactly did she do?"
"Cuddy came into my office last night, directly from your office, and told me that the two of you decided you wanted me to come to dinner with you."
"Hell no," Wilson scoffed. "I know what a royal nightmare that would be."
"Exactly, so why the hell is she dragging you into her twisted little manipulation?"
Wilson shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe she felt like if she had my presence in her corner she could get you to go? Why she'd want to do that, I have no idea."
"She thinks that if she pretends to be interested in me, that I'll give up the truth about my relationship with Thirteen," House replied the idea dawning on him as he said it.
Blinking, Wilson shook his head. "That's the dumbest thing I ever heard."
House shrugged. "Uh yeah… she's definitely not interested in me so the question is, why does she care?"
Wilson frowned in contemplation for a second. "Maybe she thinks that she'll finally have some leverage on you if she knows that you care about Thirteen?"
"What like blackmail?" House scoffed.
"More like, if you don't toe the line she'll fire your girlfriend?" It was certainly within the scope of her repertoire. The she-vixen was not above emotional extortion.
"If she thinks that's going to happen, she's in for some serious backlash," House replied running his had over his jaw, menacingly.
"Maybe if she knows that she'll lose you and your… unique specialty… then she won't be so inclined to threaten you?" Wilson suggested.
"You saying I should quit?" House countered.
"Maybe," Wilson said. "She's always boasted that she got you for cheap when no one else would hire you. Maybe now it's time to call her bluff?"
House considered this for a moment. His friend may have a point. That was twelve years ago and since then he'd become world-renowned. He'd saved senators, athletes, rich people, and even poor people. He could go to virtually any hospital. Problem was, at any other hospital, he would have to toe the line and follow protocol which was how he wound up with her in the first place. With Cuddy, House knew he had an ally because she understood when he was right and the things he wanted to do were risky but necessary. For as much of a pain in the ass she was, they worked.
"If it ever comes down to it, that may be my ace in the hole," House murmured and looked at Wilson. "But I think it is time to call her bluff on the other part."
Wilson looked nervous. "Which part?"
"The pretending to want me part…"
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Thirteen passed by the corridor where House was lurking and he pulled her into the storage closet around the corner from the clinic. She gasped in surprise and he covered her mouth with his hand to stifle her objection. Not surprisingly, her gray eyes flashed at him in startled irritation.
"Shh, don't make any sounds," he whispered to her backing her against the door in the their cramped space.
She quietly seethed at him shooting daggers out of her eyes but nodded her acceptance. It was a little disturbing that she so readily accepted this as normal behavior. God, he loved her… Trusting that she wouldn't give their position away, he removed his hand from her mouth.
"What the fuck are you doing," she whispered forcefully at him.
"You trust me, right?"
"Of course," she replied.
"You love me, right?"
"You know I do," she said with conviction but looked at him questioningly. "What is going on?"
Moving a broomstick out of his ass, he flashed a smirk at her. "I'm going to get Cuddy off our backs once and for all."
Staring at him for a moment, she tried to make head or tails of what he was saying and why he had to pull her into the closet to tell her this. "What are you going to do?" she demanded beginning to look extremely concerned and then irritatedly swiped at a string from an exam gown that was hanging over her head.
"Nothing that will get us fired," he promised. Ha… famous last words.
She looked dubious. Truth be told, rightfully so… "Are you sure?"
"Come on, this is me we're talking about," he assured her, trying to add as much confidence inspiring gusto as he could, "How bad could it be?"
Her lips formed a sardonic line as her eyes rolled at him impatiently. "That exactly what I'm worried about."
"I don't want you to do anything stupid and ruin it," he told her. "I just need to know you're on board."
"Well if I don't know what it is you're planning then I'm not promising anything," she told him stubbornly crossing her arms in the tiny space between them.
Rolling his eyes, he let out an exasperated but quiet sigh. And then told her his plan.
When he was finished, she had a devious smirk on her face. "Oh she definitely deserves that. Go for it."
Triumphant, he smiled and placed a swift kiss on her lips. "Excellent."
Biting the corner of her lip with her teeth she walked her fingers up the buttons of his shirt. "Hey, since we're in here… you wanna?"
For a split second his eyes flicked around contemplating the logistics of that, but then he decided not to and leveled a disapproving glance at her. "Um… that would totally defeat the plan to have her smell you on me. Don't you think?"
Rolling her eyes, she pouted at him. "Fine, you're right." Moving a scant inch back from him, she brushed her hands over her hair. "Pain in my ass."
"Bitch," he retorted.
"Love you," she smiled.
"Love you too," he pecked her lips and the reached for the doorknob behind her back. "Wait five minutes and then leave."
Nodding a sigh, she sidestepped out of his way and he was out the door. "Oh this is going to be fun…" he muttered to himself with a smile as he limped down the hallway toward the main area in the clinic.
House spied right Cuddy right away standing near the nurse's station in a red low-cut top and tight gray tweed skirt. Her hair was soft and shiny and she looked like she had put just the right finishing touches on her make-up that morning to make her eyes sparkle with that extra-special silvery glimmer. If he didn't know better, he'd say she was on the prowl. He did have to give it to her. For a woman on the shy side of forty, she did rock the bod pretty well. Soccer moms would kill to have her ass. Birthday party cupcakes and chicken fingers with mac n' cheese were not in her vocabulary.
Coming up along side of her, House flashed her a 5000 kilowatt grin. "Dr. Cuddy, looking ever so fabulous today. Hair cut, I presume?"
She smiled at him cautiously, though her inner girl was happily preening on the inside. "Same hair as I had yesterday."
"New sweater then?" he guessed, leaning over onto his elbow on the counter.
"No, had this one last year," she replied handing the nurse a chart giving her a glance of concern for his unusually pleasant demeanor. Even the nurse quirked an eyebrow.
House dropped his chin to his hand and studied her keenly like a schoolboy with a big crush on the pretty cheerleader. "What is it then? You're absolutely glowing. Don't you think she glowing?" He pivoted to the nurse who was enjoying the exchange with a suppressed chuckle.
Narrowing her eyes at him, Cuddy raised her chin catching on to his game. "What do you want House?"
He rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, "Me? Want something? I'm paying you a compliment. Is it really so hard to believe that I find you exceedingly attractive today?"
"Frankly, yes," she replied taking another file from the outbox on the counter.
"Well, maybe I'm just voicing something that everyone else has been noticing lately," he projected.
Rolling her eyes at him, she took off in the direction of her office. Coming off the counter he limped after her. "OH. MY. GOD… Do you have a new man in your life?"
She stopped in her tracks and turned around to stare at him in incredulity. "What?"
"You're glowing… like a woman who's in love… or with a bun in the oven," he announced loudly, and then pointed when she turned pink with embarrassment at his outburst. "You are! You're blushing… Who's the lucky guy?"
"You're being an idiot," she said tightly. "Stop." Turing on her heal, she tried to escape from him into her office but he relentlessly trailed after her.
Hot on her tail, he knew she was uncomfortable with his attentions so he decided to push it further. Swinging the door open he followed her in. "Who is this guy? Have I met him? What's his name?" He came up behind her following her to her desk. "What does he do for a living? Is he handsome? Sexy?" She was about to round the corner but her reached out and clasped her arm. "Have you had sex with him yet?"
Trying to shrug out of his grasp, she jerked her arm but he held on firmly. "What are you doing?" she demanded.
"I'm trying to find out just who this creep is who's crouching in on my territory," he fibbed outrageously. Well that struck a nerve because she stared at him in blatant contempt.
"Let go of me," she said coolly. He had her ire up but the was a flash of excitement in her eyes. It was like raising the red cape in front of a bull.
House went in for the kill. "No. Who is this guy?"
"Why do you care?" she spat.
House almost laughed. But, he kept himself in character. "I care because I don't want him touching you." He pulled her closer to him wrapping his arms around her waist causing her hands to go reluctantly to his chest. He tugged her against the length of him and her demeanor changed instantaneously. He almost felt bad but his self-preservation took control. Biting back a smirk at the worry that had replaced the excitement in her eyes, he forged on. "We belong together, Lisa. I've tried to ignore my feelings for so long. I've fought myself, thinking it would never work, because we work so closely together, but damn it Lisa, I can't deny it any more."
He leaned close like he was going to kiss her and she pushed at his chest squirming to get out of his way. But he couldn't stop now. He had to finish. "You've always been the one, the one woman who knows me. The one I've saved myself for… Lisa we're destined to be together…" She froze underneath him and dropped her mouth open in bemused shock. He couldn't help it and smiled, caught in his outrageous play. "Too much? Shoulda stopped at 'couldn't deny it anymore'?"
"You mother fucker," she shoved at his chest and this time he let her go. Her eyes had bugged out to the size of ping pong balls as she snorted indignantly, affronted by his teasing. Laughing despite herself, she tugged on the hem of her sweater and escaped behind the safety of her desk barricading herself from him with 36 inches of wood and a stack of files between them. "I should bring you up on sexual harassment charges."
"Right," he challenged folding himself casually into the seat in front of her. "And so should I for you flaunting your ass in front of me for the past twelve years."
"I can't help it if the way I dress excites you," she declared with a little pride, still clutching the stack of folders to her chest like a life preserver. Good, he rattled her.
"You most certainly can help it," he complained. "But I definitely have a case for you butting your big Jewish nose into my personal sex life."
"And yet, I also have a stack of anti-Semitic complaints against you," she held her hand out as if to say 'go figure' once again annoyed by his antiestablishment philosophy. "I could fire you in a heartbeat."
"But you won't. You'll no sooner fire me than I'll stop making racist, sexist comments about you, Foreman, patients or whoever," he challenged. "I can pretty much get away with anything because you know I'm the best stallion in your stable. And I mean that figuratively not literally, just incase you were still…"
"I know what you meant." She rolled her eyes at him and scoffed. "Just because you're the best at what you do House doesn't mean the rules don't apply to you."
"I haven't broken any rules…" he countered and then tipped his head to the side, "…lately." He regarded her for a moment. "But you think that if I admit to a relationship with my subordinate that you'll be able to hold it over my head to keep me in line."
She arched a sharp eyebrow at him, challenging him to answer that question, holding onto her last vestige of hope that she was correct in her assumptions. "So is that an admission?"
"No… but if I were…" he shot back, "you really think that I still wouldn't have the upper hand? Do you even know me?"
She set her files down with a sigh, knowing he was right. She only won when she had life or death in her court or serious jail time. Right now she had neither. He smirked at her. "You can't win."
Rolling her eyes, she clucked her tongue at him. "Fine."
"So do we have a truce?" he negotiated.
Quirking an eyebrow at him, she paused a beat and then nodded. "I'll keep my big Jewish nose out of you sex life."
"Good," he replied, satisfied. Standing up, he limped toward the door.
"House," she called.
He turned around before reaching the door to see that she had sat down in her desk chair. Resting her chin in her hands, she smiled compassionately at him. "Do you love her?"
Taking a breath, he nodded once.
"She's a good doctor. She understands you."
"Yep," he concurred.
"I'm happy for you."
"Good." He clasped the doorknob in his hand but her voice stopped him.
"Don't ever get that close to me again. I don't care how brilliant you are, I will fire your limping, tired old ass," she stated firmly.
Smirking, he limped out of her office. Balance was restored. Fat kid was back on the bottom of the teeter-totter, like he was supposed to be.
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
A/N: I forgot to thank blue-peridot for the Sexyback ringtone idea. Props to you! And for all you Cuddy lovers out there, I hope this smoothed it out for you. This was fun to write.
