Chapter 51
When Sam heard Kestrel ask Charlie to tune him off, he knew at once that announced trouble and ordered his tech to cut Kestrel's connexion with everyone except himself, Kossiak and Stepankova. And when he heard Kestrel murdering Avilov, he was glad not to be there to watch the carnage. Kestrel lashed out, completely out of his mind, groaning and swearing in Russian. Sam heard Avilov's moans and pleading, but Kestrel clearly couldn't hear anything. So Sam asked Briggs to go and fetch his ops, and Kossiak did the same with Stepankova.
Kestrel howled and stabbed for a good ten minutes, and Sam listened to his raging words. He had clearly underestimated his ops' ordeals, and the violence of it came crashing into his certainty. He understood better Kestrel's reactions and depression, his need of holidays and questions. Kestrel was torn apart, having been loyal to the death to Voron and Russia, and now loyal to the US and Fourth Echelon but with friends in Voron. Torn apart by Alpha's death who was still torturing his conscience. Torn apart by all the tortures and suffering he endured for months and couldn't get out of his mind, taunting and scaring him yet again. Torn apart by twenty years of hardships and loneliness, and no bright future ahead of him.
Sam was appalled, and he felt his fists clench and his jaws tighten. He realized he was crying when he felt salt on his lips and saw Grim's and Charlie's anxious stares on him. But he wiped angrily his tears away and forced himself to listen to his ops's distress until Kestrel fell silent at last. A few minutes later he heard Briggs ask:
_ Kestrel? Are you all right?
Sam wanted to shout at him that Kestrel was not all right, but he heard Briggs say:
_ Whoa, Kestrel! Hey, mate!
_ He lost consciousness, he heard Stepankova say grimly. We'll carry him to your car. Where is it?
_ Charlie? Briggs asked.
_ Just a second, Briggs, Charlie said, using the satellite view. Okay, it's parked behind the church, fifty meters down the street.
_ Where are those damn keys? Briggs muttered. Yuck, there's blood everywhere... Okay, got them.
_ Kossiak? Stepankova called out. We could use extra help here. And the scene is quite... messy.
_ Jdan and Marinov are on their way to help you, Kossiak answered. They'll clean after you. How's he?
_ Not injured, Stepankova said, but probably in shock and pretty much out of it.
_ I never realized...
_ Me neither, Stepankova said, her voice trembling.
Sam decided to intervene. He drew a long breath and said:
_ Don't blame yourselves. It's done, he just needs time to overcome all this. How's the president?
_ President Terekhov is safe, Kossiak said. But for Voron it's another matter. We caught Diatlova and Muratov, but we'll discuss it later. The president wants to speak to me about what happened tonight, and Kestrel needs rest. Let's meet tomorrow.
_ Okay, Sam agreed. Where?
_ The Winter Palace. It's a museum, but we have a nice meeting room there, and the curator is a friend of mine. Our teams will debrief together at 10 am, if that's okay?
_ Right. Briggs?
_ I have Kestrel's gear, his ops said, and two guys are carrying him down the stairs. Almost to the car.
_ Okay. I'll call Dr Collins. See you tomorrow, Kossiak.
_ Good night, Sam Fisher. And thanks.
Sam gestured at Charlie to cut the communication with Voron and said to Briggs:
_ Report to me as soon as you're alone, Briggs.
_ Okay. We're putting Kestrel in the van.
Sam turned to Grim and smiled bitterly.
_ One mission done.
_ But at what price? she wondered, grimacing.
Sam didn't answer, dreading to discover it. Then Briggs said through the intercom:
_ En route to the Paladin.
_ Briggs, Sam said. What did Kestrel do to Avilov?
Briggs didn't answer at once, and that confirmed Sam's bad feeling.
_ He stabbed him, I'd say more than seventy times and near a hundred, he said at last with a carefully controlled voice which told Sam his ops was freaking out. Smashed his face into a pulp, literally. There was blood everywhere, and he's covered in it. It wasn't pretty, Sam.
_ Yeah, I heard it.
Sam gulped down his emotion and added:
_ Do you remember the route to the airport?
_ Yeah, but the roads are covered in snow. Don't expect us until a good hour at least.
_ Copy. Take care.
Sam fell silent, staring at nothing in particular, his thoughts wandering. He desperately needed a break, like all his team, and the sooner the better. He asked Grim:
_ Could we do the mission in Vilyushinsk a day sooner than planned?
_ I suppose so, she said, but there is the problem of the extraction.
_ I'll ask Kossiak if he could do a little bit more about it, Sam said. After all, we saved his skin today, along with his president's, and Kestrel really saved one of his men.
_ About that, Charlie told him seriously. I wanted to know something.
_ Sure. Ask away.
_ You know the first shot of Kestrel? The one which killed Voronkov?
_ Yeah. What about it?
_ I checked the weather at that precise moment. The wind was blowing at ninety miles per hour and the snow was falling so thickly that even with an infrared vision on his telescopic sight he shouldn't have been able to see at more than five hundred meters before him. Or Voronkov was in the Saint Isaac Cathedral, a kilometer and a half away from him. How the fuck did he do that?
Sam exhaled for a long time, then said softly:
_ You have to accept that Kestrel has exceptional talents that nobody can explain, not even him. He acquired them against his will and payed so much for it he would rather die than revive that experience again. So we won't tell him about it and consider it as a handy talent he's got, but nothing more. Agreed?
_ Yes, Sam.
_ Sam? Grim asked him, worry on her face. What have you heard when he killed Avilov?
Sam shuddered, startling Grim and Charlie. He didn't know if one day he would be able to forget Kestrel's cries full of pain and violence, but he knew one thing for sure: his ops needed support more than ever, so the team would be there for him in any way he would need. At last he said, quoting Kestrel's words:
_ I heard twenty years of suffering killing a loathed enemy.
_ Oh my God! Charlie murmured. No wonder he's fainted.
_ Overwhelmed, Sam confirmed. Charlie, please go and see Dr Collins. Tell him Kestrel will need him.
Charlie nodded and exited the room. Then Sam let some of his emotion out and buried his face onto Grim's shoulder. She hugged him tightly and said:
_ Was it as terrible as I think?
He simply nodded, fighting his anguish. He needed some time too, but he would have to wait. His team needed a strong, determined leader. So he allowed himself two more minutes onto his love's shoulder then raised again, breathing deeply. Grim smiled bravely at him and said:
_ I'm here, too, my love. You know you can rely on me.
_ I know. Thanks, honey.
She grinned widely and kissed him, and he felt better. She said:
_ I'm off to the kitchen to cook dinner.
_ Yeah, thanks.
He kissed her a last time, then went to have a long shower.
When he came back to the control room where Grim, Charlie and Dr Collins were waiting, he heard Briggs say through the intercom:
_ We'll be at the ramp in two minutes, but Kestrel is waking.
_ Okay, agent Briggs, the doc said calmly. Act calm and normal, and answer all his questions.
_ Copy.
Sam ran to the ramp, followed by the doc, Grim, Charlie and the crew members Ollie and Jun. The van parked right next to it a few seconds later, and Briggs hopped down, running to the back. He wrenched the doors open and said pleadingly:
_ You can go out, now, mate! Don't freak!
Sam saw Kestrel jump out of the van, hands, face and clothes matted with dried blood, eyes wild. His ops started to run towards the Paladin, climbing the ramp and barrelling past the team without a look at them, oblivious to Dr Collins' words. Sam and the doc hurriedly tried to follow him, but Kestrel was running like the wind and he disappeared inside the plane.
Soon Sam and the doc stopped, listening intently, and they caught some noise from the bathroom. And when they entered the room, Sam saw with dismay his ops kneeling in front of a toilet, retching violently. He heard Briggs coming behind him and asked him:
_ Briggs, please go to his cabin and fetch some clean clothes.
His ops nodded and left, looking concerned.
Sam and Dr Collins waited patiently for Kestrel's stomach to stop heaving, then the ops got up and staggered a little while turning towards them. Sam went next to him and told him kindly:
_ You need a well-earned shower, Kestrel. You did a good work.
_ I killed him, Sam, Kestrel said, his voice hollow. I stabbed him and punched him so many times!
_ You know he deserved it, Sam said, helping him out of his duffel coat then turning around to give him some privacy. And you protected the president Terekhov. You even saved Ieshevskiy.
_ Yes, Kestrel said absent-mindedly as Sam heard him taking off his clothes and stepping into the nearest shower stall. But I'm exhausted.
_ Are you hungry? Sam asked him as the water started running.
_ Starving, the ops said just as Briggs entered the room again, clothes under his arm.
_ You're always starving, mate, Briggs commented, looking better himself.
_ True, but I'd rather be hungry than drunk. Боже мой! (My God!)
_ What's the matter, agent Kestrel? Dr Collins asked him anxiously.
_ The blood is just staying on my hands! And I can't... Yes, I can. It's disappearing, thank heavens!
Sam felt uneasy, he didn't know what to say. Kestrel didn't sound too upset, but any wrong word could destabilize his mending mind. However Kestrel added calmly but wearily:
_ That son of a bitch bled like a stuck pig, blast him!
Sam felt his eyebrows knit out of concern and shot a look at Dr Collins who looked worried. That wasn't Kestrel's normal behaviour, he never swore like that.
_ Agent Kestrel? Dr Collins asked him again. Are you all right?
_ Хорошо. Очень хорошо. (Fine. Much fine.)
Sam grew worried by the minute. If Kestrel wasn't speaking English anymore, it was a very bad sign. He heard his ops stepping out of the shower stall and grab a towel, then put on the clothes Briggs had laid on the sink for him, asking casually:
_ Что мы едим сегодня вечером? (What are we going to eat tonight?)
Sam turned to look at him and noticed the wild look in his eyes was still there, and decided to go easy on him. So he racked his brains and said in approximate Russian:
_ Grim has made a beef stew and panna cotta for dessert.
Kestrel half-smiled then nodded and exited the room, saying simply:
_ Я голоден! (I'm starving!)
