Chapter 54
"So they hired this tutor for me who obviously doesn't understand the first thing about tutoring special people."
"Mel, you're not a 'special' person."
"You only say that now because you can see the normal in me, Nikki."
Nikki tightens the hold she already has on my hand and pulls me to a complete stop. "It's a beautiful thing to see too. It's especially good to see that it's sticking around for a while."
"I wouldn't get too excited yet."
"I would."
It's Tuesday night and in a very rare occurrence Catherine, Mom and Nikki have all been given the night off by the great city of Las Vegas. At first, I thought there might be some kind of strike going on that I hadn't heard about, but that doesn't seem to be the case. It's just a once in a lifetime type thing.
So, since we're all never in the same place at the same time, we've decided to go out as a family for the night, despite it being a school night for some of us. It was Nikki's idea to go out into the public sphere and I was dead set against it, but Nikki had the help of the parentals and somehow they all managed to talk me into it. It's still hard for me to go out and experience life in the grander than my personal space type way, but I've got to do it. I've got to walk out the door and experience what's outside of the doors and be okay with freaking out if that were to happen for some reason or another.
At least that's what Roberson is trying to get me to think these days.
They decided to take me to a movie, so that shouldn't be that bad considering that it doesn't include a whole lot of interaction with other people. I can sit down, close to an exit, and hope that I can focus all my attention on whatever movie it is that they're dragging me to. Hopefully it's a mindless action film or a meaningless comedy. I don't really think my first movie going experience with the meds should involve a heart wrenching drama.
"So what do you have against your tutor now?" Nikki and I have started walking towards the concession stand again, having somehow been voted to take care of all the snacks.
"He's started me on college level material, it's like he doesn't understand that I'm still in high school." Despite the anxiety I'm feeling right now, I think it's best I try and focus on something other than all the people that surround us.
"Well you should have skipped high school altogether. You're practically a genius, Mel."
"So he's already talked you into believing that too, huh?"
"No, you talked me into believing it a long time ago, and after finally getting a chance to meet your mother, it makes more sense now. I mean, let's face it, your grandparents weren't exactly the smartest people in the world."
"Well Mom had to get it from somewhere."
"Yeah, probably divine intervention."
Before I have a chance to reply I hear my name being called out by a voice I haven't heard in a while. Nikki's hands go to my waist, for support I think. "Jenny?"
Slowly Jenny walks up to me but doesn't come too close. "I'm surprised to see you, Mel."
"Yeah, I don't really so much get out that often anymore."
Jenny nods and the awkwardness has officially set in.
"So what are you doing here?" I know that's a stupid question but I don't know what else to say.
She points to her uniform and suddenly I feel even more stupid.
"A job's good to have."
"So are you two here, alone, together?" Jenny asks me doing her best not to look directly at Nikki.
"No," Nikki answers, "It's a family night out type thing."
"Family night?"
"Yeah," It's good I didn't take my medicine that long ago. I'm on a fresh dosage to handle this situation. "Catherine, Mom, Lindsey and the two of us. The whole gang really."
Nikki's hands fall from my waist and I'm not so much digging the feeling of that right now. Before I can turn my head to see what she's doing, she whispers into my ear that I need to handle this and that she's going to go get all the stuff. She kisses my neck, for my benefit, I think, then leaves me alone with Jenny, although we are surrounded by faceless nameless people.
"So you're all a family now, huh?"
Jenny sounds a little less happy about that and a little more of something else. Anger maybe? I don't know. "It's certainly going in that direction, except Mom and Catherine can't make anything official yet, y'know because of the state of the nation and all. Though I think I caught wind of Catherine wanting to adopt me or something, though there's been no official conversation with me or anything."
"And Nikki?"
"I don't think Nikki really needs to be officially adopted by anyone, but she's considered just as much a part of the family as anyone else, I guess. Mom and Catherine seem to like her, for the most part." I don't feel like I should mention their slight unease with the idea of Nikki and I being together, together. They're working through it nicely though. I think they're trying out the 'we trust you' thing and all.
Jenny steps closer to me and I force myself not to take a step backward. "You could have called me more than once, Mel. I was…am worried sick about you. It's like you fell off the planet or something and then reappear in a hospital bed with this mysterious person named Nikki and everyone starts telling me that I need to stay away from you for your own good. I mean, what the hell, Melinda!"
I need to take that step back now. "You were kinda left in the dark and I'm sorry about that. Really. You know there's just a lot of stuff, a lot of stuff I can't explain to you in five minutes in the middle of a movie theater lobby."
"So I should expect you to call me?"
I'm not so much digging her tone right now. "I'm sorry you got hurt, Jenny, and it seems like you might be hurting right now, so I'm sorry for that too but I've pretty much done what I've had to do to survive. Whether you get that or not, well I'm not sure it really matters."
"I need to get back to work." Jenny starts turning away from me but I grab her hand before she can fully escape.
"I'd call you or offer to meet with you if I thought that would make a difference. I would, but I think hearing what I have to say would only hurt you more, and I don't want to do that."
Jenny's eyes lock onto mine then her hand falls out of mine and straightens out the mildly ugly uniform she's wearing. "You're different."
"I have to be."
"I know."
We stare at each other for a few more moments, but Nikki reappears breaking whatever connection Jenny and I might have been forming. "Are you going to meet us back in the theater?" Nikki asks me.
"No," I shake my head. "You'll need help with all that stuff you're trying to carry back."
"I could manage if I have to," Nikki offers.
"But you don't have to," I reach out and take away one of the popcorns she's holding. "I'm supposed to be here helping, that's why I got forced to come along, right?"
"I could have just wanted the company."
"I need to go back to work." This time I don't reach out to Jenny to stop her. But I do tell her that if she needs to call me then she can. I promise not to ignore her phone calls or anything.
Nikki starts leading me back to theater and doesn't ask about my conversation with Jenny. I don't see why she would need to. I am walking back to the theater with her, to go back to… our family, I guess.
"What took you so long?" Lindsey immediately asks as she grabs at the gummy bears she asked for.
"Long lines," Nikki answers as she finishes distributing the food.
"We thought we'd have to send out Sara to go looking for you," Catherine smiles at us as we crawl over them to make it back to our seats.
"Don't worry, you get to keep the night off," I smile back. The theater lights dim and the previews start up. I take my seat between Mom and Nikki trying to not focus on the confrontation I had with Jenny. I want this to be one of my few nights out focused on being with the people that surround me now, the most important people.
"Everything okay," Mom leans in and asks me softly. "You're looking a little off. Do we need to leave? None of us would mind, really."
"No, no," I hurry to respond, "No we don't have to leave. I just ran into Jenny in the lobby. It was…unexpected."
"Did she do something to you, say something?"
"Not really. She's angry though. I get why, I think."
"What's going on?" Catherine leans over Mom to get to me. "Is something going on?"
"Mel ran into Jenny in the lobby," Mom quickly explains to Catherine. "She was angry."
"Who was angry? Jenny?"
"Yeah," I whisper as quietly as possible to Catherine.
Someone behind us tells us to shut up, but Catherine ignores them, "Did she do something to you, say something?"
Nikki laughs out loud and I squeeze her hand that has somehow found mine. She shouldn't laugh at Catherine like that.
"She's hurt, I think, by everything," I explain for the benefit of Mom and Catherine and probably a little bit for Nikki too. Lindsey seems to be completely oblivious to anything going on, which is her new thing to do these days. She likes ignoring us all and pretending like we don't exist to her. I've been told it's a normal teenage girl phase.
Catherine nods her understanding but Mom asks, "She didn't hurt you though, did she?"
"No." She looks satisfied for the moment and turns back to the screen. Catherine returns to sitting correctly in her seat and the conversation appears to be over for the moment. I'm sure it will come up again as soon as the movie is over. They'll want every detail they can get out of me, but there's really not that much to tell.
I highly doubt that Jenny is going to try and call me. I wouldn't call if I were in her shoes. I'm not really looking to mend any fences. I'm still not in any condition to start reaching out to people to try and rekindle friendships or anything. I'm not that strong yet.
"Let it go now, Mel," Nikki whispers to me. "If Jenny becomes an issue we'll handle it."
"I know."
"Good," she kisses me on the temple, and this time I know for sure that it's for my benefit. We turn back to the movie, which is only now just beginning and I settle in and prepare myself to watch whatever it is we're seeing here. This will probably be the last time we get to go out like this for a while; I should at least try and enjoy this and be thankful for this small handout of normal that going out with my family can offer.
