Event 52: Bowser the Bishonen
It all began one Friday night when Bowser was all alone in his room, looking at the stars out the window, bored out of his mind. In this lovely night, the Koopa Castle was practically empty, as most of the Koopa Troop was, out parting with their friends and significant others, but not our favorite Koopa King, even his own subjects never invited him to come along. He didn't care, or at least he pretended not to care.
So what if they exclude him from all the fun because they're afraid of having him scare away whatever new friends they might meet. As long as they were back before Monday morning it didn't matter. It was an unspoken law between the Koopa Kingdom and the Mushroom Kingdom, that there would be no wars during the weekends; after all, everyone needs to take a rest from the routine of King Bowser Koopa kidnapping Princess Peach Toadstool every weekday.
As Bowser stared at the stars, he saw a shooting star and made a wish. Little did he know what that wish would cause the next day. "I wish I was a cool bishonen then everyone would invite me to their parties and like being around me and maybe even Peach will like me." He didn't believe the wish would actually be granted and after going to sleep, he forgot all about it.
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The next morning came and the sun light that entered the room from the open window woke up the King of Koopas. Still half asleep, he got out of bed and went to brush his teeth.
He took a moment to yawn closing his eyes in the process and half asleep opening the cabinet behind the bathroom mirror in search of toothpaste, completely missing the chance to look at his reflection. As he brushed his teeth and started to feel more awake, he couldn't help but to have a very strange feeling. Something was different, something was out of place, but he just couldn't tell what it was.
When he was done brushing his teeth, Bowser placed his toothbrush and toothpaste back in its place pushing the cabinet closed as he turned around, once again missing his refection in the mirror.
Then it happened, he had an itch on his back. Without thinking too much of it, he scratched his back making the annoying itch go away, that's went the realty hit him. How could he scratch his back with his shell on?
"My shell!" Bowser exclaimed in a panicked voice. "It's been stolen! It must have been Mario. Yes, it has to be him, just wait till I find him!" Without taking a moment to realize that being shell-less also meant being naked, he ran as fast as he could towards Mario's house.
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As Bowser ran out the front door of the Koopa Castle, Kamek who was feeding the piranha plants, saw him. He blinked in confusion, wondering what a clothe-less young man was doing in the Koopa Castle in the first place. Wait, that hair, that spiky orange hair like fire, could it be? He had to know for sure, so Kamek the magikoopa followed the strange young man.
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Bowser arrived at the Mario bros' house, only to find it empty. A note taped to the door read: "Dear future customers, your pipes will have to wait until Monday, because we don't work on Saturdays and Sundays."
'They must be at the Mushroom Kingdom Castle,' Bowser thought, and without a moment to waste, he ran to castle, with Kamek following not too far behind.
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Still not realizing that he was showing much more than he would want to, Bowser ran right into the Mushroom Castle, ignoring the guards telling him to stop. Several female screams were heard and when Kamek came running after Bowser, he saw several maids uncurious on the floor after fainting.
Finally, Kamek made it to the throne room where Bowser was demanding that his stolen shell was returned, or next Monday early in the morning, he would send out his entire army to declare a real war on the Mushroom Kingdom.
Everyone in the room, the Chancellor, Mario, Luigi, Daisy who was visiting, Toad and several members of the royal council, just stared in disbelief. The first to get over the shook of having a stranger walk into the throne room with nothing to wear and yelling about a stolen shell, was Luigi, who immediately covered Daisy's eyes with both hands.
Kamek tapped the angry young man on the shoulder. "What?" Bowser yelled angrily. Kamek looked at his eyes, because everyone knows that when someone changes species, their eyes stay the same. Sure humans could have red-orange hair, but this was the first human Kamek ever saw with eyes as red as his hair. "It's you, isn't it? You're Bowser!" Kamek had taken care of Bowser since he was practically an egg and after babysitting for so many years, he could recognize him no matter what.
"Well of course I'm Bowser! Don't tell me you don't recognize me simply because I don't have my shell!" Bowser was still unaware of the fact that he was no longer a koopa. However, with those words another fact came into his mind. 'If I don't have my shell then...' Bowser looked around the room and spotted the curtains on the window. Wishing that Peach had chosen a color other than pink for the curtains, he pulled one of them off the window and tied it around his waist. "You could have said something before!" He yelled at Kamek, turning bright red. First it was the panic of having his precious shell stolen and now it was the embarrassment of knowing he had run ran all the way to the Mushroom Kingdom naked that kept Bowser's mind too occupied to realize he wasn't a koopa.
"Have you looked in a mirror?" Kamek asked and before Bowser could answer the rather obvious question, with a wave of his wand the magikoopa created a large mirror in front of him.
Bowser stared at his reflection wide eyed, jaw almost touching the floor. "What the...? Change me back!" It was all too shocking for Bowser to realize it was in fact he who wished for this to happen.
"I will try," Kamek directed a large portion of magical energy at Bowser. However he did not turn back into a Koopa, but his ears where pointy now giving him and elf-like look that made him even cooler. "Sorry, looks like there's greater magic at work here."
"What? I can't stay like this! I miss my shell!" Then Bowser ran, he ran all the way back to the Koopa Castle.
"Oh dear," Kamek sighed. "I sense a temper tantrum on its way."
Mario, who had been quietly watching as his brother wrestle Daisy to keep her eyes covered, finally spoke. "Was that really Bowser and if so, who did that to him?"
"I don't know, but who ever it was, had some powerful magic," Kamek replied.
At that very moment, Peach came into the room and greeted everyone with a polite, "good morning." Then she asked the expected question. "Who was that cute red-head wearing a skirt that looks like my curtains?" She had seen him running out and just had to ask.
By now Luigi had stopped trying to cover Daisy's eyes, since the new Bowser was gone anyway, and after a fan girl squeal Daisy answered the question. "He's Bowser, magically turned into a bishonen! Oh and that wasn't a skirt, it really was one of your curtains, he borrowed it because he didn't have anything else on when he came."
Peach stared at Daisy for a few moments, letting the newly acquired information sink in before screaming. "What? I missed that? Why did I have to stay up late chatting on the Internet? Why did I have to sleep in today?" Everyone in the room, especially Mario, gave Peach strange looks. The Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom laughed nervously then cleared her throat. "It's not easy changing species and even if the Koopa Kingdom and the Mushroom Kingdom don't get along, we must show our support!" With that said, Peach quickly ran off to find the bishie.
"I'll come too!" Daisy followed Peach.
"Daisy, wait!" Luigi ran after her.
"Come back here, all of you!" Mario too followed.
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Meanwhile in the Koopa Castle, Kamek was trying to get Bowser to calm down. "I'm sure there's an explanation for this, we'll figure out what's going on and everything will be alright. Now just go get dressed in something other than a pink curtain." Waving his wand, Kamek made clothes appear.
Bowser picked up the t-shirt and looked at it. It was light green and had a blue 'I' followed by a red heart and a green shell. "I love shells?" Bowser read then glared at Kamek. "Thank you for giving me something that reminds me of what I miss the most"
"I thought you would like it," Kamek muttered.
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Bowser, now wearing the 'I love shells' t-shirt, jeans and boots, sat on the throne, which he noticed felt a lot bigger now that he was the size of a regular bishonen. "What am I going to do Kamek? I can't rule the Koopa Kingdom like this. I probably can't even kidnap Peach!" Little did he know that kidnapping wouldn't be necessary anymore.
"It'll be okay, the koopas still recognize you as their king so don't worry about that, try to look on the bright side," Kamek attempted to cheer him up.
"There is no right side!" In another temper tantrum, Bowser took a deep breath and blew at Kamek, who expected to get fried, yet the minty freshness did nothing to him.
"On the bright side," the magikoopa continued, "your breath smells good now."
"I can't even breathe fire anymore!" Bowser complained.
Suddenly, the door to the throne room was thrown open and there stood Princess Peach, smiling a smiled that scared everyone in the room. "Hi," she spoke in the most natural way. "I'm here to offer my support during this time in which you must adapt yourself to being part of a different species!" After saying a few more words of encouragement, Peach she glomped Bowser, as everyone who followed her arrived as well.
"Peach, get away from him! Don't forget that's Bowser, the evil Koopa that used to kidnap you!" Mario glared at the new bishonen.
"Daisy, that goes for you too! You should keep your distance; I'm saying this for your own safety!" Luigi insisted.
"Oh, Luigi," Daisy shook her head. "Just look at Bowser, he's harmless now, so cute and pokeable!" She poked him. "And cute and pokeable and blue... wait, blue? Peach he's turning blue!"
Peach let Bowser go, allowing him to breathe. Bowser took a deep breath, savoring every last bit of oxygen he could get into his starving lungs, still in shock that Peach had glomped him in the first place.
"King Bowser, King Bowser!" Lakitu came flying into the room. "There's an angry mob at the bridge! We're trying to keep them out, but our defenses won't last much longer!"
"What do they want?" Bowser asked.
"They're all girls, fan girls to be specific, and they demand that we give them... you, your majesty!" Lakitu revealed.
"Bowser, do you realize that humans are more fragile than koopas? That mob of rabid fan girls could very well kill you!" Kamek warned.
Before anyone could say anything else, a large group of girls of every species in their world ran into the throne room.
"To the cloud!" Called Kamek, as he, Bowser, Peach, Mario, Daisy and Luigi jumped on Lakitu's cloud and flew out a window.
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The cloud kept flying lower by the second, due to the weight of all the people it was carrying, until it could fly no more and crashed near the Mushroom Castle. The crazy fan girls had been following them, so they ran inside and locked the doors immediately.
As he heard the echo of the squeals coming from outside the door, Bowser couldn't help it but to worry about his new fragile existence and wonder how many bones would be broken of they caught him.
"I have an idea!" Kamek announced, waving his wand to create an image identical to Bowser. "This illusion will drive the crazy girls away and you'll be safe!" The fake Bowser then jumped out a window.
"There he is!" A girl called out and soon all of them ran off chasing the illusion that headed in the general direction of the forest, a good place to get lost.
Now that the fan girls where gone, there was a moment of awkward silence until Toad came with an announcement. "Geno from the Star Road is waiting in the tea room."
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Bowser, Kamek, Peach, Mario, Luigi and Daisy went to the tea room, where Geno told them that he had been watching the chaos unfold from the Star Road and thought an explanation would help. "The reason you are this way now is because you wished for it and your wish was granted."
In a flashback the moment of his wish yesterday night replayed in Bowser's mind. "I remember now!"
"If this is it's too much trouble, I can undo the wish," Geno offered.
"No!" Peach and Daisy yelled at the same time.
"Yes!" Mario and Luigi countered.
"What will it be?" Geno inquired.
"No," Bowser's choice received deathly glares from Mario and Luigi. "Today was kind of fun. Besides, I'll get used to wearing clothes instead of a shell eventually, I kind of like this new look."
"Very well then, you shall stay as you are," Geno agreed. "I must go back to the Star Road now, enjoy your wish and don't forget, for all your wishes skip the wells and the fountains, because the Star Road will grant it!"
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So our story comes to an end. Did the fan girls' obsession die down after a while or do they still stalk the bishiefied version of Bowser to this day? Was Peach kidnapped again next Monday or did she willingly decide to go visit? What was Mario's final reaction to this entire situation? How many different shades of blue can Bowser turn when he can't breathe due to severe glomping? Did anyone ever manage to un-wish the wish or did he really stay a bishonen forever?
What ever happened to the group of fan girls that got lost in the forest, did they figure out that they were after an illusion and found their way back, or do they still wonder around the forest to this day? So many question remain unanswered, but hey, open endings are like that. I have done my part in presenting this very strange situation to you and from here on, what happens next is up to the reader's imagination.
End of Event 52
Notes: I think bishonen is a pretty common word but in case you haven't heard it before, in Japanese a bishonen is a good looking young man, a cute guy, glomping material, fan girl worthy, however you may call them. A glomp is a strong hug. Special thanks go to Jeshi (Mentality at its Worst).
Disclaimer: I don't own Mario, or Bowser or Peach or any other Nintendo characters.
