Chapter 44 – The Letter

Relationship Status – pre & married

SUMMARY: While settling into their new home, Ororo found an old letter Logan had written in his earlier years with the team

Ororo hummed softly and lovingly as she took in the chaotic scene in office/library Logan had thoughtfully added on as part of their new home. Boxes were scattered everywhere and she had no idea where to start. They were finished the unpacking and decorating for the major rooms and all that remained was the tedious chore of getting the office/library in order. Boxes containing books written by a variety of authors from every corner of the globe were littered unopened around the four large cedar bookcases he had constructed. Most of the books belonged to Logan and she chuckled at the thought that everyone would more than likely refuse to believe that the Wolverine was an avid reader. No one would ever guess that one of their favorite pastimes was to her lying with her head in his lap, while he read to her. There were many layers to Logan that no one, except for her had the pleasure of knowing and she intended to keep it that way.

Her humming continued as she opened the first box and began removing items from the first box to start placing them in alphabetical order by author. Logan's tastes in literature were extensive, ranging from philosophy to satire. She tended to stick with the American and African classics. The box she began with definitely belonged to Logan as she read out loud the authors' names as she removed the books. Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Alexandre Dumas, Franz Kafka, Ralph Waldo Ellison, Virgil, Yoshida Kenko, Lord Byron. The list went on as she continued the tiresome task.

She didn't know how much time had passed until the chiming of the antique grandfather clock gifted to them by Charles, indicated it was an hour away from noon. She groaned, nodding her head side to side, attempting to alleviate the stiffness that had settled into the base of her neck. She had another hour to go through the last box before heading up to the mansion for lunch. She reached into the box and grabbed the first book, removing it. Not having a firm grip on it, the book fell from her hands.

She laughed out loud when she saw what she was actually staring at. Never Bet the Devil Your Head by Edgar Allan Poe wasn't the real deal, but a bender bound booze book. Staring back up at her was the slot where the flask should have been. But there was no flask, only a piece of paper that was folded neatly. The slightly brown spot in the center of the folded paper told her that the book had been its resting place for a very long time. Curious, she sat down in the lotus position and removed the paper from the slot. Slowly, she unfolded it. Logan's surprisingly neat script was evident on the sheet of paper that appeared to be a letter or note of some sort. Scanning the writing quickly, a few words jumped out at her, further sparking her curiosity. She smiled and began reading from the beginning.

I can honestly say I have no flamin' clue as ta what could have possessed me ta even think about sittin' down and writin' this letter, but the need was overwhelming and I had no damn choice but ta give inta that need. So here goes.

I'm half beast, half man. The beast they call Wolverine and the man, Logan. The ole healin' factor has made sure that I've been around fer a long time, but just how long, I have no idea. My memories were stolen from me and I don't know if they'll ever come back. But in the meantime, I can only hope they will come back and scour the earth trackin' down every lead that comes my way.

If what Chuck said is true and what Blueboy had discovered in his analysis of my abilities is also true, then I was damn near immortal. Although I can't remember, I know that I've seen a lot and experienced even more ta last several liftimes, but ain't nothin' could have ever prepared me fer her. But just my sad pathetic luck, she only sees me as a wild animal, the beast that I awake with and go to sleep with every single day of my life. Ain't a day go by since I took Chuck up on his offer and joined his cause that she and I don't get inta some kind of argument.

Fer some reason, she had taken an immediate dislike ta me and truth be told it hurts me. Don't get me wrong, whatever anyone else thinks and says about me, don't hurt me…doesn't even faze me. But her….whatever she says has meaning, depth and leaves a lasting mark. Everything she's said ta me is imprinted on my brain and I don't want ta admit this, but also on my heart. Her husky voice is so melodious, even in anger that ya got no choice but ta listen. But I guess that's ta be expected with her being a goddess and all.

Everybody at this circus knows that I'm a tough ass, no nonsense type of dude, ready ta take yer head off at the drop of a hat. But what they fail ta take inta account is that my enhanced senses could be much of a curse as they could be a blessin'. With superhuman senses, I feel things deeper and more intense than anyone else. And those feelings get amplified once I care. And there lies my problem. I care. I don't know how in the flamin' hell it happened, but my defenses were penetrated and before I knew it, I was suckered inta carin'. It took me a while ta come ta terms with that. I mean, I'm a loner, an outsider, a lone wolf. I have no need fer anybody. But this weather witch has somehow managed ta seep her way inta my heart and inta my soul.

Ororo paused right here. Her eyes widened. Although she knew and felt the depth of Logan's feelings and he's admitted as much, she was still stunned to read that he had felt this way in the early years since he took up residence at the mansion. Her heart ached just at the thought of how much they had all, her included, misjudged him from the beginning. Her eyes riveted back to where she left off.

What even makes this harder ta swallow is the fact that I know she doesn't give a shit about me. How could she with all the constant railin' against me fer one thing or the other? And even if she didn't constantly fight with me, I don't see any way she would be interested in a barbaric, two steps above an animal man like me. Once one get past the ice queen persona and the bossiness, the true woman can be seen and appreciated. Her incredible exotic beauty pulls ya in and leaves ya shell-shocked, but that's not what captured me and held my interest. Her grace, intelligence, patience and the aura of serenity that surrounds her is what got me and has held me captive since. The way she makes everyone feels as if they are important by listenin' ta their problems and helpin' them out or by givin' them a simple smile. All but me of course. All she gives me is a hard time and continuously chew my ass out.

Only if she could see me like I see her. But who the hell am I kiddin'? Not even in my dreams would I be lucky enough ta be grace with one of those smiles. A smile that can make ya conquer whatever yer problems are and feel like a new person. The Wolverine has made it known that she is our mate. Says that she's our chosen one and no one else will do. He sees that she doesn't care fer us, but he ain't havin' none of it. Only chuckin' it up ta her not being ready yet fer what fate has already preordained. It's crazy, but when she's happy, me and the beast are happy too. When she's sad or upset, we both have the overwhelming itch ta tear up whomever or whatever made her feel way. When we go on missions, I find myself hoverin' close by her. Although she doesn't need my protection, I can't help but feel responsible fer her. Yeah I know, I know, I got it damn bad.

As fer Jeannie, she's quite beautiful and smart as well, but sorely lacks in everythin' that makes Ororo the woman she is. Red is a needy, self-absorbed, attention grabbin' chick, who's never done anythin' ta get me and the Wolverine goin'. Only 'Ro has ever done that. Hell, the woman could get us goin' with only the sway of those killer hips she got. Everyone here thinks I have this great love fer Red and that I want ta take her away from the Boy Scout. Wouldn't they be surprised ta learn that they ain't even nowhere in the ballpark with that one. She was just a distraction from who and what I truly wanted but know I could never have. And as fer Scooter…it's too much damn fun yankin' his chain and seein' the freak squirm every time I go near his precious Jean.

At nights, I imagine that 'Ro's next ta me and curled up against me. When I dream about her, I'm at my happiest and calmest. But even dreams and fantasies are no match fer the real thing and I already know ain't no way the real thing will ever be mines. And no one knows this, but many a nights I would sneak up ta her attic room and just watch her sleep, tamperin' down my intense desires ta claim and possess her.

Maybe I'll be happy one day…eh, who the hell am I kiddin'? Life has always found a way ta kick me in the nuts and keep the pressure on. But I'm used ta it. Nothin' good ever happens ta me or lasts fer me. But I'll be damned if I wouldn't happily give those nuts and other body parts just fer one night with her. Christ, but I want that woman every flamin' minute of every flamin' day. Ororo, the stunnin', elegant, bossy and pain in the ass weather witch.

I think I've unburdened myself enough ta last a damn lifetime, so I'll stop right here.

Twin tears escaped Ororo's eyes as she hugged the letter to her chest. She was faintly aware of the clock striking noon, but made no move to get up from off the floor, only extending her legs to resume the blood flow to them. She read the letter again and again, every time imprinting every single one of his powerful words into her memory and heart. His words struck a chord deep within her and revealed to her yet another layer to the man that everyone assumed they had figured out. Reading his words had only served to deepen her love for him.

She must have been on the floor reading and rereading his letter for a very long time because the next thing she knew, Logan's booming voice was ringing out in the stillness of the house. "'Ro? Darlin'? Where ya at woman? Ya missed lunch."

Ororo glanced up at him with teary eyes, the letter clutched to her bosom, when he entered the room. She gave him a quivering smile.

He growled at the sight of her tears. "Baby? What's wrong?" He demanded somewhat harshly.

She stretched out her hand for him to take hold. He swiftly pulled her to her feet and embraced her tightly, running his chin over her soft hair. The crinkling of the sheet of paper when he pulled her against him caught his attention. "What ya got there?"

"Something wonderful," she murmured softly, reluctantly stepping out of his loving grip.

"Yeah?"

She nodded, extending the sheet of paper to him. She watched with emotion-filled eyes as he took the paper from her and began reading. When he was done, he leveled her with a look that shook her to the core. Very calmly, he released the paper, allowing it to float to the floor and gathered her to him. He held onto her for dear life. He was trembling, something she didn't expect at all. They stood that way for what seemed like an eternity, both refusing to let words mar the significance of the moment and both of them knowing full well that a whole new dimension to their relationship had just been unlocked.