Chapter fifty-two.
In the middle of total family chaos and distress, I thought to myself, that everything had somehow fallen into its place. I had been reading this in my last tea leaf reading, the circle around the heart telling me that something was about to change. The heart in the middle of the circle, with the meaning of betrayal and family relationships and if I had paid more attention to my sister, maybe I could have known.
Iona had left us, her family, for a life side by side with evil. Her last words still ringing in our ears, after fifteen days of tears and fright and as I hugged mother goodbye at the crowded platform of 9 and ¾ I didn't want to let go. Her eyes had lost all of its former glistening, her skin pale after all the sleepless nights, but when she hugged me I felt a strength in her arms that ensured me, she would get through this.
Father embraced me, a tear stroking his cheek as he looked me in the eye to say, "Alissa, this is where you will be safe, at Hogwarts. I know that you want to stay with us, to protect us from whatever happens next, but I promise you, we are prepared. I have written a letter to Professor Dumbledore, he is informed about," his voice faded, and he took a deep breath before he had the strength to say it, "your sister's choice."
"I can't lose you," I whispered so that mother wouldn't hear.
"You won't, we will have all the help we need if need be," he hugged my shoulders, and the train whistle echoed over the station, "You need to go now!"
"Father I'm scared," I said as I gave him a last hug goodbye, and he nodded slowly.
"We are as well, but everything will be fine. I promise," he spoke in a sincere sense, and as I grabbed my trunk mother caressed my cheek.
"We love you, so much, Alissa. Never doubt that."
It was with heavy steps I stepped inside the first empty compartment I could find, my eyes turned to mother and father's waving figures, and with a sigh of both acceptance and grief I sat down on the compartment seat. I hadn't had the time to seek up Lara and Beth, or maybe I didn't want to.
How would I explain to them that my own sister had finally done it? Left the family to become a death eater. I couldn't bare myself to speak of it, not yet.
There was only one I desired to talk to, but that someone had made it pretty clear he wasn't going to discuss fugitive siblings with me. But oh, how I needed him, probably more than ever. I needed to feel something, something that made my heart roar and my body tremble. I needed someone to tell me that my sisters choices wasn't my responsibility and that I was different from her.
A knock on the compartment door made me jump at my seat and outside stood Lara, her mouth smiling and behind her were Beth jumping up and down in excitement. I didn't even force myself to look happy when they walked inside, and Lara instantly frowned at me.
"Who died?" She tried to joke, sitting down. Beth followed, sitting down next to me, her hair curled around her pink blushing face. She looked happy, and in a pure defence mechanism, I looked out the window, away from their watchful eyes. I had decided I wasn't ready to tell them about it yet, but I also knew the both of them already noticed something was wrong.
"Alissa?" Lara said again, waving her hand in front of my face.
"It's nothing, you guys."
"So I suppose you're totally over your little fling with Sirius Black then?" she raised a brow, her teasing tone causing me to glare at her.
"Totally," I muttered, my hand hugging the end of my sleeve. The words I had uttered during Christmas dinner echoing in my head, 'The man I'm in love with.' and also the man I hadn't spoken to in over three weeks. Probably he had forgotten all about me, perhaps he hadn't made that big change that Remus had been going on about.
"So, how was your Christmas?" I asked, turning the attention away from myself, and at once Beth's face lit up.
"It was fantastic!" She said, her cheeks flushing brighter, "On Christmas morning Trevor sent me a small velvet box, and inside laid this," she held up her arm, showing us a slim silver chain clad with small charms in the shape of ravens.
"Are you serious?" Lara cried out, grabbing hold of Beth's hand to inspect the bracelet thoroughly.
"Mhm," Beth hummed with a pleased voice, the dimples on her cheeks looked so deep I could probably get my finger stuck in there.
"Beth, I'm so happy for you," I said, and a not so forced smile made its way to my lips. Because I truly was happy for her, finally she was with a person that respected her and that appreciated her for the loving person she is.
"I am too," Beth giggled, as Lara inspected the silver charms.
"And charms shapes as ravens? How bloody cute is that?" She sighed as she leaned back against her seat, "I think I speak for the both of us," she pointed at me, "when I say that he is approved."
"Duh," Beth rolled her eyes, "I'm just surprised it took me almost seven years to realise what a total babe he is."
"In your defence, Trevor Abbott hasn't always been that kind of babe-like," Lara frowned, and all three of us burst out in a loud laugh by the thought of Trevor Abbotts early school years.
"You know, he has completely stopped hanging out with Aaron and Casper after what Aaron did during that DADA-lecture," Beth added when our laughs faded, and I raised a brow in chock.
"Really?"
"Yes, he says that if he needs to spend another day in their company he will need to go see a therapist. He can't stand their misogynistic humour anymore, not to mention the fact that they can be slightly racist."
"I can't believe I dated that guy for seven months without noticing what a dough he really is," I shook my head in annoyance.
"Honestly, Alissa. I don't think you cared enough to notice," Lara said warmly.
"But why didn't you tell me then?" I shot back, and she glimpsed at Beth who just shook her head.
"I don't know how to say this without making you feel guilty," she continued, "but Casper's seems to have gotten a lot more idiotic after your breakup."
"Ha!" I burst out, and the both of them jumped in surprise, "I won't take the blame for his shitty behaviour just because I broke up with him. That's not an excuse for him to start taking after that swine Aaron," I laughed bitterly, every word causing my blood to boil a little more than before. My nails dug into the fabric of the seat, my hand shaking slightly as doing so.
"Alissa, are you okay?" Lara spoke carefully, her hand stretching out to caress my knee but she was careful not to touch me before I had given her permission.
I swallowed, my eyes turned to the window and the green landscape, changing like a flash of light as the train passed by.
"No," I finally admitted, and at once something that had laid so heavy inside of my chest vanished.
"And I guess this has got nothing to do with Casper Wilkinson?" Lara asserted and I gave her a quick glance.
I had to tell them.
"No," I repeated, and with a shaking voice, I told them the story of Icarus and Iona, and how my Christmas break had been nothing but distress and anxiousness. When I had finished and both of them had got the time to react I settled back, closing my eyes and admitted that Hogwarts actually might be the perfect place for me right now.
