Chapter 56
"Look…. Do ya… want me to tell Sully?" Matthew brought the palms of his hands back down to the edge of the table in front of him, the three people having sat awkwardly in their chairs for a good ten minutes now, seeming to be going around in circles.
"No…" Michaela responded defiantly, having not appreciated Colleen going behind her back and confiding in her older brother.
"Then… you're gonna tell him." Matthew stated clearly, knowing that trying to have a conversation on a topic Michaela didn't want to address, was like trying to shift a heard of cattle in the rain.
"Ya gotta tell him, Ma…" Colleen tilted her head; Michaela's avoidance had been obvious from the start.
"This isn't something I want to have to discuss with either of you… Colleen… you promised…" Michaela glared disappointedly across the table, frustrated at how something she'd managed to hide for over a month now, had just managed to explode into total chaos, knowing that in less than a day it would all be irrelevant anyway.
"I'm sorry, Ma… but… can't stand to see ya bottlin' it all up… after how upset ya were last night… only went to Matthew coz I didn't know what else to do to help…" The young girl sighed, having expected Michaela's anger.
"Well… talking about me behind my back, certainly doesn't help…" Michaela leant forwards, wearily resting her chin in her right hand.
"Dr. Mike… what… what happened yesterday? Sully…?" Matthew decided a change of subject was in order.
Michaela moved her head slightly, eyes lowering in dismissal of his question.
"Ma, please…" Colleen begged, pushing her hair over her shoulder in frustration.
"This is ridiculous! I give up…" Colleen pushed her chair back angrily, stomping across the room and out through the back door.
"Colleen…" Matthew called, his loyalties divided between his mother and sister, hands pushing down into his pockets in confusion.
"Go to Colleen, Matthew…" Michaela's voice was hollow and weak, her glance moving back up to meet his eyes.
"Ma… I… just assure me you'll come to us if you need support… but you're right… ain't our place to pry… ain't our place to tell ya what to do…" Matthew nodded, as if needing to convince himself he was right.
Michaela took in his words gradually, before rising from her chair, walking slowly around the table, engulfing him in a gentle embrace, more to conceal the tears in her eyes.
"Everything will be all right, Matthew… I promise…" Michaela felt his uncertainty as he hesitantly moved his hands around her back.
"I know, Ma… I trust you…" Matthew pulled away after several moments, comfortable with the realization that at the end of the day, Michaela would deal with this in her own way.
Michaela looked across the room to the back door, as Matthew remembered his sister.
"Better go calm Colleen," he whispered, his feet sliding against the floorboards as he left the room.
Drawing a deep breath, Michaela turned to gaze at her surroundings, a newfound resolution and strength building in her chest. Pacing aimlessly, she reached the edge of the mantelpiece, her eyes resting on the hands of the clock, ticking soothingly in the background. Moving her eye line to the window, Michaela took another breath, arriving beside the wooden chest of drawers, the fingers of her right hand brushing lightly over the corner. Despite her fascination at the material objects around her, Michaela knew deep down they weren't what she was remembering.
After another several steps, her hands found the back of the rocking chair, Michaela now completely aware of the source of her preoccupation. She knew the children would arrive home tomorrow afternoon, to find her gone. She knew they would be devastated, but also knew it was something she had to do.
It will only be for ten days… two weeks at the most.
Michaela consoled herself, however unable to stop the anguished hurt crossing her face; Brian would be crushed. Nodding slowly, she knew she would leave a note… for what good it would serve. Her gaze lowering, Michaela knew she was nervous for other reasons besides the children. She knew full-well she was endangering her own life; however that no longer seemed to matter.
Dropping her eyes closed, Michaela unconsciously began to think of the worst. What if… she died… what if she was discovered… arrested… She knew she would stipulate in her letter that Olive would take charge of the children… but suddenly hypothetical planning and potential reality became two very different issues.
In that instant, images from her nightmare flooded her mind, Michaela gripping the back of the chair more tightly.
I would rather die…
She turned and rotated around to gaze from the window, feeling her shoulders sink with an inaudible sigh, her last though lingering undeniably in her mind.
X.O.X
Monday, 4th September, 1869
One Day Later
X.O.X
"Eww! Brian… get it away!" Colleen squealed, the large green frog being displayed only inches from her nose.
"But he's cute… ain't ya little guy… still tryin' to figure out what to name him… was gonna call him Sully… but then thought it ain't really too nice…" Brian pulled the frog from his sister's face, patting his back whilst he quickly finished his breakfast.
"If ya wanna name him after someone ya hate… call him Benjamin…" Colleen teased, knowing it wasn't right, however still having not forgiven that boy for his earlier torments.
"Nah… coz I'm takin' him to school… what about… Eric?" Brian suggested, Michaela having remained detached from the conversation up until this point.
"Why Eric, Brian?" She frowned, being briefly reminded of an arrogant doctor she had interned with many years ago.
"Dunno…" Brian carefully put the reptile back into the cardboard box on the edge of the table, slipping several small pieces of bacon in after him.
"Just so long as he stays in that box, ya hear?" Colleen waved her fork menacingly in her younger brother's direction, before reaching across and gathering the left over plates from breakfast.
"I promise… can we get goin'… wanna get there early to show Lewis and Charles…" Brian stood up, pushing his chair neatly back under the table, pacing to Michaela's side for a goodbye hug.
"Ya sure you're all right, Ma?" Brian gestured to the fact that Michaela was still in her dressing gown, having informed them minutes earlier that she wasn't feeling well and would be staying home for the day.
"Don't you worry, Brian… Dr. Mike's just takin' it easy… 'bout time…" Colleen smiled out of the corner of her mouth, not able to be more pleased that Michaela seemed to have stopped pushing herself so incessantly.
Michaela looked away from the young girl, instead busying herself in reaching for the pile of plates and cutlery, standing and moving them to the basin.
"Seeya tonight, Ma…" Brian reached for the front door, in his haste, not even turning for a reply.
Michaela swallowed, nodding automatically, and scraping the left over breakfast into a bowl for Pup.
"You just rest…" Colleen glared, rubbing Michaela's back and following her younger brother from the room, the girl's mood somewhat elevated by her mother's actions.
Watching the young Wolf consume the bacon and egg scraps by her feet, Michaela didn't shift her gaze until she heard the door close, waiting several minutes for the sound of Bear pulling the wagon away. Hearing the steady trotting of the horse fading into the distance, Michaela clasped her right hand to her mouth, tears flowing uninhibitedly from her eyes; how could she expect them to forgive her? She could barely forgive herself.
Wiping her face with the back of her hands, Michaela finished the dishes quickly, before crossing the room and beginning to pile assorted clothes on the edge of her bed. She only had a few hours until the stage was due in, knowing she'd have to work speedily to pack, write the letter, and ride Flash into town in time. Running the tips of her fingers over her satin green dress, Michaela reflected for the first time on where she'd be traveling to. Away from the dirt and dust of Colorado Springs; to a place where her recent past was behind her.
X.O.X
"Very… nice…. Brian…" the Reverend leaned against the edge of his desk at the front of the room, the young Cooper child having just finished his lengthy show and tell.
"Thanks… oh… and his name is Eric…" Brian added, almost enjoying the look of pure disgust on the girls' faces.
"That's lovely… Now… ah… it's time for recess children… and Brian, since you did such an excellent job at show and tell there… Miss Dorothy told me yesterday that she'd have the new edition of the Gazette finished, with the article about the play… thought you might like to go get it…" Timothy patted the boy's back not expecting to be handed the gangling frog.
"Ah, sure… look after him 'til I get back…" Brian wiped his hands on his trousers, excitedly moving to the back of the room, and commencing his contented jog back into town.
X.O.X
Michaela locked the Clinic door securely, having quickly changed into a now much more snugly fitting lilac satin skirt and blue weaved jacket. She saw the stage parked outside the general store, having watched it arrive and unload minutes earlier, waiting as long as she could before emerging, thereby minimizing the chances that she'd be seen.
Stepping down from the edge of the porch, her carpet bag in one hand, medical bag in the other, she took a slow breath, turning and glancing back at the Clinic a final time, before beginning the walk down the main street, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible.
X.O.X
"Thanks, Mr. Bray… ain't it a great article…" Brian smiled, Loren having taken interest in the freshly printed copy of the daily newspaper.
"Sure is, boy… but you deserve it… did a good job the other night… pretty brave a ya too…" Loren ruffled the boy's hair, the pair making their way towards the front porch of the store.
"Yeah… was pretty yucky havin' to kiss Colleen like that… but Sully said it was all right, coz we're family…" Brian justified, licking his lips in childlike discomfort just thinking about it.
"Too right… best hurry back to school now…" Loren smiled, watching the boy disappear through the front door, turning his attention back to several customers that were waiting patiently by the counter.
Brian remained engrossed in the article, carefully reading the paragraph directly concerning him, only looking up for a moment to check how close he was to the edge of the porch step.
"Ma?" He frowned, seeing his mother standing several yards from the stagecoach, the young boy's utterance coming out slowly, indicative of his surprise and confusion.
Michaela froze immediately upon hearing the familiar voice. Her eyes moved from the stage, where she had waited whilst other passengers had their luggage stowed, in the direction of the sound.
"Ma… why ya all dressed up…?" Brian shrugged, continuing to stroll casually across the dusty ground, the article still clutched in his right hand.
"Brian… go back to school…" Michaela swallowed, barely believing she'd come this far for everything to go wrong now.
The young boy arrived by her side, slowly beginning to take in the various indicators around him; Michaela's attire, her medical bag in her right hand, and finally the large carpet bag resting on the ground to her left. His eyes grew wide, realization dawning on him in a split second.
"Ya goin' somewhere… Ma?" The child's voice was high-pitched, chewing on his lower lip as he looked once again from the stage to the carpet bag, and then back to his mother. Within mere seconds, the fear and anxiety was written across his face.
Michaela clenched her teeth, looking away from Brian to see Loren step out onto the porch of the store, his arms folded. Chatting idly with passing customers, the store owner was not really paying attention to the significance of the events before him.
Adjusting her hold on her medical bag worriedly, Michaela leant over to address the child at his own level.
"Sweetheart… I'll just be gone for a few days…" Her voice was smooth and hushed, seeing the stagecoach driver finish with the previous couple.
"Ya leavin' me?" His chin began to wobble, as his left hand moved forwards to grasp her arm.
Michaela looked helplessly from his fingers secured desperately to her sleeve, back up to Loren, their eyes meeting as he noticed her presence.
"Goin' somewhere, Dr. Mike?" The older man raised his eyebrows, his question phrased innocently enough, however when coupled with the firmness of Brian's grip on her arm, sent Michaela into a frenzied panic.
"Brian… please…" She tried to detach his fingers from her jacket, looking up when the stagecoach driver addressed her.
"All ready there, ma'am?" He tipped his hat, reaching for the carpet bag at her feet.
"Thank-you…" Michaela muttered, looking around, between Loren's concerned face, and the attention she was beginning to receive from the townspeople.
"Ma… ya can't go… ain't nothin' to worry about… Mr. Bray… Mr. Bray…" Brian turned, about to race back towards the porch, Michaela's eyes widening in horror, pulling him back immediately by the shoulder.
"Brian, I… come along…" She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, hurrying the small child towards the open door.
"Ma? What… I don't…" Brian was almost thrown off balance by the firmness in Michaela's grasp, stepping onto the first rung of the step before he'd realized what was happening.
About to provide him with a more thorough response, Michaela noticed the concern in Loren's eyes, the store owner suddenly realizing she was planning to take the child with her. Turning away from him, Michaela looked back one final time down the main street, her eyes locking spontaneously on Matthew's outline in the far distance, the young man striding casually from the alleyway between the Clinic and Grace's.
"Brian… here… inside… hurry…" Michaela stepped up behind him, nodding with a smile to the driver, taking her seat, the young boy looking with fascination around the small carriage.
Michaela looked down at the boy's hand still clutched to her arm, as she felt the horses pull away into a slow walk. Deflecting her gaze downwards, so as to minimize her chances of being recognized, Michaela pulled Brian closer to her side, not wanting him to see his brother in the distance.
"Ma…" Brian found himself slightly suffocated against the thick wool of her jacket, her grasp not relenting until the horses moved into a definite trot, the stage having moved down to the end of the main street.
Looking up after several moments; Michaela felt the boy's hands pressing defensively against her chest, realizing the strength with which she'd clutched him to her side. Dropping her hand away from his back, she looked down at the boy recovering from his air deprivation. Seeing him look curiously around them once again, before taking in the moving surrounding, he tilted his head up towards her.
"Ma… where we goin'?" His question was not uttered with any trace of fear nor concern, more with an intrigued curiosity.
Michaela rested her left arm back around his shoulders, before moving her gaze back out towards the rugged countryside. The horses had moved into an even gallop, the brown and green landscape blurring to the point of unfamiliarity.
"Home."
