Um, yeah. This chapter is long. And M-rated in the part in between line breaks. You can skip over it, and you won't miss anything major, but I decided to just...post it. I'll comment on that more at the end, I don't want to spoil you anything more than I have to. Oh, and you have to thank my Grey's high after the 200th episode for delivering this on time. I'm going to re-watch it after posting this, in the hope I'll get a head start on chapter 56 ;)

Enjoy!


Chapter 55


It was almost like second nature for Meredith walking the aisles of Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital. She remembered the secluded nooks and the noisiest spots, the panoramic corridors and the dark stairwells. It just about felt like coming home, walking through those aisles again.

Derek walked beside her, so close she could feel his warmth, their steps almost in sync, Evelyn strapped on her chest in her carrier, while Zola was still at home with Carolyn, enjoying the sunny morning.

"What time is Nora waiting for us?" Meredith asked casually, linking her hand with Derek's.

"Ten."

"Wasn't it nine-thirty?"

"She called me this morning to delay the appointment. She was busy in a rough delivery, that's why she wanted to meet here instead of at the birth center." He smiled, throwing her a puzzled look.

"Right, you told me that. I forgot, as I tried to feed Zola breakfast." Meredith sighed, defeated that her brain was so scrambled from the constant lack of continuous sleep.

"Well, after weeks of gourmet breakfasts from my mother, she had a right to complain when you presented her cereals."

Meredith playfully glowered at him, knowing that she felt somewhat the same. Carolyn had been busy cleaning up at Mark's, after she had seen the state his place was in, so she had left early enough to come back before their appointment. Saying that not seeing her in the kitchen as they woke up was weird felt like an understatement. They had to get used to it though, since Carolyn was planning on flying back in a mere two days.

"I took the day off today." Derek smirked, a glint in his eyes. He had been flirty all morning, borderline inappropriate, and she had a good idea why. Yet, it still felt nice for Meredith to be looked that way while she felt all but sexy.

"You did?"

"Well, we can celebrate properly if we have the whole day and the all clear from Nora." He replied sultry, wriggling his eyebrows at the suggestion, and Meredith almost blushed at his look. She didn't reply, and she tried to push the dirty thoughts out of her head as they settled in the waiting room, but it seemed almost impossible.

"We should make the most of nap time." Meredith whispered, giving Derek a look. Their look.

"I agree."

"What about your mother?" Meredith's voice became closer to yelp then. A very quiet, very whispered yelp.

"I'll find a way to keep her out for a couple of hours. Groceries?"

"Derek!" Meredith laughed, but she was appealed by the effective benefits of having Carolyn away from the house. "We can wait for tonight."

Derek grinned, his lips so close to Meredith's ear that his words were a breath of air, just as inconsequential as his fingers at the base of her neck. "I don't think I can wait one more second."

Meredith flushed crimson.

"Meredith and Evelyn Shepherd?" A nurse called out, removing Meredith from the predicament of answering to that statement. Derek was still pleased to have made her flustered, and he thoroughly enjoyed the way she shrugged him off herself, almost as if his touch had burned her.

As soon as they stepped in the room, Nora welcomed Meredith with a hug, only to extricate Evelyn from her carrier and shower her with compliments, her warm chocolate eyes intriguing Evelyn to no end.

"You're getting so big, tiny girl."

"She is." Meredith boasted with a smile. "Eight pounds now, more or less."

"Any weight loss?"

"Yes, around two or three weeks. It freaked Mere out." Derek chuckled, but he won a smack on his forearm.

"It always freaks moms out." Nora commented, placing a kiss on top of Evelyn's head, before she put her on the scale to weight and measure her. "Where's your other pretty girl?"

"Zola is with Derek's mother, hanging out at home." Meredith explained, making a face at Evelyn, who made a delightful cooing sound.

"How is she with the little one?"

"Smitten." Derek beamed. "Absolutely smitten." His smile was mirrored by Nora's. "We just hope it's gonna last."

"Keep your fingers crossed." Nora chortled, still testing Evelyn. "Is she nursing okay?"

"She has Meredith's appetite, that's for sure." Derek interjected, winning another murderous look from Meredith.

"She has no problem latching on now, even though sometimes she falls asleep halfway through." Meredith explained, trying to ignore Derek's amused glances.

"Ah, that's okay. Sometimes she wants to nurse just for self soothing."

Derek jumped in, trying to redeem himself. "Should we try a pacifier? Because she seems not to like them much."

"Maybe you can keep giving it to her for a while, but if she spits it out, don't bother. Does she suck on her thumb?"

"Her fist." Meredith grinned, noticing that she was doing just that as they all stared at her. "Or her big toe."

"Flexible as her mother." Derek whispered in Meredith's ear, and she blushed once more.

"Oh, my son was a toe guy." Nora laughed, totally missing the inappropriate comment Derek had made, much to Meredith's relief.

The conversation moved then to all kinds of bowel movements and her digestion, and Meredith was glad she was a general surgeon, or she wouldn't be so at ease discussing these things with her baby's doctor. Derek seemed finally uncomfortable by the subject, and Meredith couldn't help but revel in it a bit.

After the topic of Evelyn was exhausted, and the little girl had been looked at inside out, it was Meredith's turn for an examination.

It felt almost bittersweet putting her legs in the stirrups, knowing it was basically the final hurray of her pregnancy, but it also felt uncomfortable as it always had.

Nora poked and prodded her, her hands gentle as usual, but not less of an intrusion. Derek sat beside Meredith with Evelyn in his arms, smiling encouragingly at his wife. He wished he could distract her with small talk, but Nora kept firing questions, so he could just smile and try to work his McDreamy charm on her.

"Do you mind if I do an ultrasound?" Nora probed, her expression always so neutral and hard to decipher Meredith could only nod in agreement.

"Is there something wrong? Because I feel fine, and the delivery was fine, so -"

Derek grabbed Meredith's hand to keep her from rambling more, but he was clearly a little on edge himself. Usually, for them, more tests weren't always a good thing.

"Look at that." Nora grinned, turning their attention towards the screen, and they stared raptly at the image there, studying it.

"What are we supposed to see? I'm a little rusty after six weeks." Meredith tried to joke, but the smile died quickly on her lips.

"I remember your first sonograms, and I remember the way the fibroids you had in your cervix concerned me."

"What? You were concerned?" Meredith yelped.

"Not enough to alarm you two but yeah, I was concerned. Look now." Nora beamed, pointing at the screen with her finger. "I think more than half of them are gone."

"That's a good thing, right?" Derek swallowed, his eyes meeting Meredith's in expectation.

"Well, it means that your uterus is way less hostile that it was when you conceived Evelyn." Nora grinned, and she saw two wide grins spread on the couple in front of them.

"So, basically -" Meredith tried tentatively, her eyes already glistening with happy tears.

"You can have more kids, yeah."

Derek flung himself into Meredith's embrace before Nora could even finish talking. He held her so tight in his arms he was almost worried he could strangle either her or Evelyn.

"It's not gonna be easy, you will probably need a few months of trying, maybe another miscarriage might occur, but I don't see why you can't have another child."

"I can't believe it." Derek laughed openly now.

He had feared for a long time that his always-there pressure to have a boy might drive a wedge between them in the future, when in fact they couldn't have a boy. Now they might not want to have a boy, but the fact that the possibility was there warmed Derek's heart.

"Well, carrying a pregnancy full term and giving birth changes a woman's body a lot, I guess you got one of the good things out of it." Nora grinned, pulling Meredith in a gentle hug.

"I -" Meredith croaked, and only then they noticed that she was openly crying.

Derek laughed happily, but he was close to tears as well as he pulled her closer to his chest once again, and let her rest there, her cheek on his shoulder, and her hand on Evelyn's back.

"Mere," he whispered, trying to calm her down.

"I know. It's just so...And I'm full of hormones, and Evvieis okay, I'm more than okay, and your mother is leaving, which means we'll be living as a family for real, and it is all..."

"I get it." He smirked, kissing the top of her head, so grateful to have her rambling in his arms.

Nora gave Meredith all the time she needed to pull herself together, which was surprisingly short, compared to the volume of tears shed, but Derek had learned to consider Meredith's emotion with a pinch of salt lately.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Nora grinned, as they were heading out of the door, their arms linked. "You can resume intercourse. I don't see why not." Derek smirked, and Meredith giggled, blushing slightly. "It might hurt for a little while more, but it is to be expected. Don't hesitate to call if something doesn't feel right, though."

"I won't forget." Meredith smiled warmly.

"Oh, and bring your girls at the birth center for a visit sometimes."

Meredith smiled warmly, disentangling from Derek to pull Nora into a warm hug, which the midwife easily reciprocated. "We'll be there. Thank you so much for everything, Nora."

"I hope I can see you again sometime, then."

"We'll see." Meredith giggled, sharing a look with Derek that made him weak in the knees, before she hugged Nora one more time, then dragged him out of the room.

Meredith was beaming, as she clutched Derek's hand in hers. Derek next to her radiated light, one hand poised over Evelyn's back as he effortlessly carried her in her Ergo, the steps he took practically in sync with Meredith's. People stared at them as they walked -well, more like skipped- back to the entrance, ready to get home to properly celebrate the good news received.

The only frown they met on their way was the one of Richard Webber.

"Hello," he greeted quite plainly, his eyes dejected and spent as he lifted himself from the wall he was leaning heavily against, trying to gather some kind of composure. "Is everything alright?" His eyes swept over Evelyn, concern now filling his features.

"We were here for the six weeks' check up, and she's doing great." Derek answered promptly and proudly, a small smile on his lips, before he glanced down to his daughter. Richard's face remained almost blank, and that set off the alarm bells.

"Is something wrong, Richard?" Meredith's soft tone voiced what Derek hadn't dared to ask. Richard glanced up, looking beaten and heartbroken. "What are you doing here?" Meredith added, her brow furrowing slightly at the notice of the fact that he was in street clothes, just like them. He looked more like a patient than a surgeon in this attire.

"It's Adele," he croaked out, "They admitted her last night."

Meredith swallowed thickly, her hand going to rest on Evelyn's back in her own small comfort gesture that had been practiced during her nine months of pregnancy and that seemed to be equally calming now that Evelyn was a living infant. "What's wrong with her?" she asked tentatively, paling at the weariness on Richard's features.

"Nothing. Not anymore." He took a deep sigh, and his eyes welled with tears. Meredith felt her breaths being knocked out of her lungs. She felt Derek grab her hand and grip it tightly.

"What...What happened?"

"A stroke. She was gone quick."

When his eyes met Meredith's, a tear was already sliding down his cheek. Wordlessly, Meredith took his hand in hers and squeezed firmly, but it was Richard who pulled her tightly against his chest, trying to contain his sobs. Meredith soothed him with the same tact and lightness she would have used on Evelyn, rubbing his back in circles and letting him lean against her. The tears lasted for a few seconds, but it was apparently enough for Richard.

Derek had put on his brave face, and it was his turn to squeeze Richard's shoulder and pull him in a half hug, trying not to jostle Evelyn too much. Richard finally managed a small smile, when he noticed Evelyn yawn awake, her blue-gray eyes hidden under her dark eyelashes intermittently.

"Richard, if you need anything..." Derek trailed off, unsure of where they could go from there.

"Can I hold Evelyn?" He demanded sadly, and Meredith let out a small smile at that.

Derek slid off one sling of the carrier, allowing Meredith to scoop up the infant. The corners of Richard's mouth curled up automatically. Meredith dropped the baby in his solid hold, and watched as the two of them studied each other, Evelyn curious and eager to greet people, Richard simply too enchanted with her to bother with anything more than looking at her and making a few faces from time to time.

"Can she smile?" Richard asked, tickling her cheek.

"No, we haven't seen her smile, yet." Derek replied gently, his turn to grin at the sight before him.

"She's gonna break hearts soon. You watch out, Shep." He joked sadly, and they were glad at least for a second, he could relax and forget about Adele. "I'll let you get home, now."

"Are you sure you don't need anything?" Meredith pressed.

"I know where to find you otherwise."

"I'm at home, on leave; I get bored easily." Meredith smiled softly, rubbing his shoulder one more time, before she welcomed Evelyn back in her arms.

"I'll keep that in mind."

Richard let out another small smile, before he stepped back into the room behind him, his expression somber once again.

Derek and Meredith's happiness had dissolved just as quickly as it had came, as they left Richard to his own private grieving.

The ride home was quiet, almost as if they were still processing the last couple of hours, from the high, to the lowest point, and that quiet allowed Evelyn to fall back to sleep. They were lucky she started to scream for her meal only as they pulled into their driveway.

The house was empty, a note on the kitchen table announcing that Zola and Carolyn were out shopping, so Meredith distracted herself by nursing Evelyn, trying to push away all the good and bad memories she had of Adele Webber. It still didn't feel real that she was gone.

"Adele is dead." She announced to Derek when he showed up in their bedroom, changed into home clothes.

Derek nodded, at a loss for words, then he sat next to her, caressing Evelyn's cheek as the girl unlatched from Meredith's breast.

"I'll take her to the nursery."He offered, which implied he had probably more to say, and he didn't want to disturb her sleep.

Meredith scooted closer to the edge of the bed, letting her bare feet touch the hardwood, waiting for Derek to come back. It was all a blur of automatic gestures and swirling thoughts in the quick minutes he was away while she recomposed herself, and she had no idea what he wanted to say that required Evelyn to be in the other room. What Meredith didn't expect though was Derek coming to stand in front of her and kiss her senseless.

He towered over her, his firm hands cupping her cheeks with a force so primal and raw that sent a shiver down Meredith's spine. She stretched even more, deepening the kiss, her turn to lose her fingers in his curls, massaging his scalp, pulling him as closer as it was humanly possible.

They were panting as they pulled away, their foreheads mashed together, their eyes shut as they started breathing again; they were so close their eyelashes could touch.

"If you ever see the white, welcoming light..." Meredith whispered, opening her eyes, seeing Derek's blurred blue ones staring back at her just as intensely.

"Don't go there either." He smiled, but it was almost forced. The only way Meredith knew she'd get another smile out of him was kissing him, so she did it.

It was Derek who reversed their positions, lowering his hands under Meredith's thighs, then he lifted her up, their kiss still unbroken. He sat back on the bed, Meredith now sitting on his lap and straddling him, their bodies as closer as their clothes allowed them to, needing to feel this connection as they kept kissing.

"I'm not going anywhere." Meredith whispered, rubbing Derek's stubble with her thumb, then brushing his curls back into place.

"I'm not going anywhere either." He chocked back, and the smile he rewarded her with was more than sincere.

They sealed this unspoken promise with one more kiss, this time slower and less desperate, dissolving it in a light hug. Losing Adele brought about much deeper losses, and for the moment they didn't want to remember, they just wanted to keep kissing.

"Do you know when your mother and Zola are coming back from their shopping spree downtown?" Meredith murmured in his neck, nuzzling her nose there, basking in the overwhelming scent of Derek he radiated from that spot, selfishly trying to push away the dark thoughts from her mind.

"Could be dinnertime, if I know my mother well enough." Derek chuckled, his turn to sniff Meredith's hair and sigh in bliss.

Derek felt Meredith's slightly cold hands creep under his t-shirt, tracing the defined contours of his spine, kneading the tense muscles there, as he did the same on her smooth skin. She was getting warmer and warmer by the minute, and she felt perfect like this, as he held her close. His body reacted automatically as her lips began kissing the underside of his jaw, ignoring the prominent stubble already growing there, then moving up to his earlobe.

If he needed an invitation to proceed further, Meredith offered it to him on a silver platter as she took off his t-shirt in a fluid motion, her smile turning mischievous as she let her long fingers roam over his now bare chest.

"Are you sure?" He repeated one more time, just for the sake of certainty, because he knew that as soon as he took off her t-shirt, there was no going back. He had kept himself in check for more than a month now, he was more than ready.

"You heard Nora. And it's nap time." Meredith replied plainly, her eyes turning a shade darker as her fingers traced his sternum, moving lower and lower, following the dark trail of hairs, stopping at the line of his pants, only to move along it, teasing him.

"Then you're wearing too many clothes." He intimated in a low growl, and Meredith saw his eyes darken as her own shirt disappeared on the floor.

Derek's lips moved from Meredith's jaw down to her clavicle, leaving a line of kisses behind, then he followed the edges of Meredith's bra, teasing her.

Meredith pulled at the drawstrings of Derek's pants, as he busied himself with the clasp on her back, until their chests could touchskin to skin.

Derek smiled, then lifted Meredith up once again to lay her on top of the comforter, taking off her pants with the same fluidity. He kept up the wet trail of kisses from her breast down to her belly button, worshiping the stretch marks on his path, until Meredith's breath hitched. He looked up, but he could see only pleasure on her features. He grinned, then he moved his lips to her thigh, teasing her mercilessly, his smile widening as she whined in protest. He climbed back up to kiss her so he could start the descent from the beginning.

He groaned into Meredith's mouth as he cupped her breast into his hand, feeling the different weight, flicking -

"Don't -" She panted, pulling away from him, her eyes dark with want. He frowned, then he understood the warning when he felt a warm liquid trickle down his hand. "I just fed Evvie." In the heat of the moment he had all but forgot that she was still the perfect nursing machine for his daughter.

He sighed deeply, blushing a little, then crawling up and disentangling from her. He stretched to grab a tissue from the nightstand and hand it to her, then he picked another one for himself to clean up the breast milk from his hand.

"I'm sorry." Meredith shook her head, looking around the room almost as if she was scurrying for her clothes, a deep blush on her cheeks. She rolled away from under him, curling into a ball.

Derek's hand rubbing circles was gentle on her hip, as he turned her flat on her back once again, his smile a contrast to her worried expression.

"My bad." He grinned, kissing the tip of her nose, trying to put her at ease.

"I'm sorry," she echoed, ignoring him completely. "I can take care of that if you want," she looked at the tent in his boxers poignantly, a smirk finally in her eyes, but it was quickly gone. "Maybe it's too soon to go all in, you know?" He knew she was nervous, because she started fidgeting with the curls in the back of his head, trying to keep her hands busy.

He smiled brightly, kissing her quickly. "We can wait Mere, but not because you still produce milk. I want you to feel okay with this. If you're not ready, we can wait."

"I want you," her voice was so low Derek almost missed it, but it was enhanced by the feel of her lips on his like a feather. "I'm not pregnant anymore, but I'm not the one you were used to either."

Derek hummed, waiting for more, but it never came. "So what? You're beautiful."

She snorted. "There are stretch marks. And fat. And untouchable boobs." She argued, curling herself even more into her own pretended shell.

"And I love all of that. I want to make love to you, if you let me."

Meredith seemed to think for a second about the answer, before she moved closer to Derek again, and kissed him deeply.

"Okay." She whispered against his lips, and he didn't wait one second more to show that he meant every word he said.


He kissed her thoroughly, this time careful to avoid the most sensitive spots on her breasts. He kissed every scar and every stretch mark, he kissed her stomach with the same reverence he had used when Evelyn was still growing inside of her, moving lower and lower in his exploration until his lips were hovering over her panties, and Meredith's breath hitched dramatically. He kissed her through the fabric, and she squirmed under his delicate touch, her hands clutching his biceps fiercely.

He was driving her into madness. Derek Shepherd was maddening when he used foreplay as a weapon.

She lost all sense of coherent thought for the first seconds after Derek had taken off her panties and exposed her to his hungry sight.

She was at his mercy, and he seemed enthralled. She was also quick to wipe the smug smile off his face as she flipped them over, seizing his second of distraction and awe.

Now she was straddling him, grinning mischievously.

She slid along his body, watching how his eyes darkened even further as her hands and lips trailed lower and lower, until her fingers hooked under his boxers and removed them in a swift, practiced gesture.

It was her turn for a victory smile, as he stood more than ready in front of her.

She had missed this kind of closeness with him, simply staring at his naked body on their bed, without any other thought entering her mind. Showering together couldn't compete with this at all.

Derek groaned as her fingers brushed over his sensitive flesh, then it was his turn to smirk; he used her moment of hesitation and contemplation to take charge, flipping them into their original position.

"You are so beautiful." He whispered, his lips barely above hers, and she smiled through hooded eyes, before she gasped in surprise as his fingers grazed her entrance, asking for access. Her brain turned to mush then, and she was so turned on she almost had to remind herself how to breathe.

She was a withering mess in moments, panting and clawing at the comforter as his fingers in her core and his tongue in her mouth brought her to a frenzy. He moved his mouth lower then, as his fingers kept playing her with the perfect tempo, finding again all the spots that made her see stars. She was biting her lip so hard to keep from screaming his name that she could almost taste blood. She was at his mercy, and he just needed a flick of his tongue to tip her into ecstasy. A long-awaited ecstasy.

Derek watched as she came undone, his body even more tense and ready now, but the sight so beautiful he couldn't help but stare, and try to prolong her pleasure as much as he could.

Meredith was spent as she came down from her high, but she still smiled at Derek through hooded eyes, almost encouraging him to give her more as he crawled back up to kiss her.

Her hand slid lower between them, and she held him captive, her fingers barely a caress in contrast to his manly hardness. Derek swallowed thickly, and he didn't have room or will to protest when all of a sudden he was the one staring at the ceiling.

"Mere," he breathed out, but he had no idea how to continue the sentence as she hummed near his ear, almost sending him over the edge.

"I'll take you for a ride." She giggled, kissing the corner of his mouth, as she kept exploring his body with her hands and lips.

"I don't..." He began, losing his train of thoughts as her fingers were now wrapped around him, sliding up and down in a way that made his vision blur and his hands claw at the sheets.

There was something he was forgetting, something important, something that Meredith's tongue into his mouth made impossible to remember.

He was ready to explode.

Until it came to him, as she lowered her lips over him.

"Condom!" He blurted rudely and randomly, but it was effective to stop her, so he could finish his sentence. He swallowed thickly, trying to push away the cloud of need blinding him. "No condom. We don't have any here. New house. I should have -"

"Derek," she grinned broadly, her eyes sparkling with amusement and lust, her fingertips still teasing him, the rosy tint of her skin almost too much for him to focus coherently. "It took us almost a year to get pregnant, I don't think your super-sperm will hit bull's eye again when my whole body is so messed up."

"Oh," he hummed, but she had no idea if it was in agreement or it was simply his response to her ministrations, as her lips hovered over him once again with a teasing smirk.

"We can worry about condoms later," she said softly, before she drove him mad with need with a simple stroke of her tongue, from his base to the tip of him.

"Definitely." He replied breathless, pulling her up and capturing her lips to seal the deal. Or to stop himself from finishing prematurely, she had no idea. Still, her fingers were idly touching him, and he had almost exhausted his self control.

When they parted from the kiss, she finally let go of him, and he felt relief for a second, the need still throbbing, but his vision a little less cloudy. He saw her poised over him, closing her eyes and taking a deep but shaky breath.

"Mere..." He smiled as gently as his need allowed him to, his thumbs rubbing gentle circles over her hips as he held her hovering above him. She looked like a goddess, a little rounder around the edges than he remembered, her breast full and jiggling slightly, her eyes sparkling with trust and desire, but also a hint of fear.

"What if it feels weird?" She blurted, biting her lip. "What if I'm now horrible at this because I shoved almost seven pounds of baby girl out of...there?"

Her panic was visible, but she looked just as gorgeous as she did a few moments before, her hair tousled and her skin flushed. And Derek had a first seat to all her natural beauty.

"We don't have to do anything.." He stated softly, despite the urgent, painful need to finish what they started, hopefully buried deep inside of her.

"I want to do it!" She spat, glowering. "I. Want. You." She spelled slowly, watching his stare grow hungrier.

"I'm here."

He sighed at her nod,as her features relaxed, and he relaxed as well, but he had no idea if it was relief or sheer joy over the fact that maybe he could start thinking clearly again. He was pretty sure that as soon as they began, it was not going to take long before it was over. A month and a half was a long, long time for celibacy when she looked gorgeous and flashed boobs multiple times a day.

Feeling her lower over him took him a little by surprise, but it was a welcomed one, a surprise that was enveloping him in warmth, tightness and wetness inch by inch.

This was worth all the wait.

She whimpered, not in arousal, and his eyes flew open, watching as her face was contorted in a grimace she was trying hard to hide, pain and pleasure mixed there in a blend of emotions.

"Mer, -"

"It's okay, I'm okay," she strung as a litany, her eyes still squeezed shut.

"Mere," he echoed, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears. As blissful as it was being joined so intimately with her, he wished it didn't give her any discomfort.

"I'm going to be okay." She breathed out almost in relief, as their pelvis finally touched and he was embedded in as far as he could go. He felt like he was in heaven. "Don't move just yet." She intimated, and he tried to, even if he wanted to scream.

"Okay," he breathed out, muffling a groan as she shifted to kiss him. "This is going to be embarrassing." He mumbled, twitching inside of her, and he was finally able to let her giggle. Unfortunately, giggling brought about more movement, and he almost came undone with a simple giggle.

"I love you so much." Meredith whispered, her tone now solemn. He couldn't form a reply for her, as she slowly rose and sank back, taking charge. His eyes said all the words he couldn't though.

It took him all his willpower to keep still and let her set the pace. It was tortuously slow at first, and Derek moved his hands over the comforter not to leave bruises on Meredith's hips as he gripped the fabric so tightly in his fists to keep himself in check.

When her whimpers became mewls of pleasure and her body began to relax considerably, he started to meet her halfway, feeling the pressure in his groin threatening to burst as they moved faster and faster. He found her bundle of nerves hidden between them, and his name spilled out of her lips like a plea, her hair spilling free as she threw her head back in abandon, her mind blank, filled only with thoughts of Derek and how good they were together, moving like one.

He only needed another thrust before the world became a blur of sparkles and their brains disconnected, the waves of their powerful release washing over them, rippling through their bodies as they slowly rocked back to stillness.


Their breaths were erratic as Meredith rested spent over Derek's chest while they were still joined as one, buds of sweat forming over their naked skin.

"That was...good." Meredith hesitated, and he looked deep into her eyes, a sad smile on his lips.

"Liar. You were in pain half of the time." He swallowed thickly, his lips poised over her forehead, breathing in her overwhelming lavender fragrance. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Her tone was soft. "It really was, good. And the pain will go away." Meredith reassured him, running her fingers through his curls in a soothing motion, their skins still heated and tingling.

"Are you sure you're okay? I haven't hurt you, have I?" Derek's concern bubbled back, despite her reassurance.

"I'm good." She smiled, and he could feel it stretch on his chest. "Like riding a bike, uh? The grazed knees hurt when you get back on the saddle, but it can't be compared to the feeling of wind on your cheeks."

He chuckled, and so did Meredith, allowing more sparkles of residual arousal to fly between them. She flinched immediately, and Derek slowly pulled out of her, settling her again tightly against his chest, kissing the top of her head.

"Mere?" He whispered, his voice getting lost in her hair as she hummed in acknowledgment. "Do you want to have another baby?"

"Now?!" She yelped, staring at him with her eyes wide, slightly pulling away from him.

"No! Sometime in the future. Years and years in the future." He paled, backpedaling right away. "I know I've been pushing for a boy, but I'm happy with Zola and Evelyn. I'm truly happy with the three of you."

Meredith looked pensive for a moment, and she relaxed visibly. "I just want to get settled with Evelyn first. You know, see what happens when I go back to work, how is she like as she grows up a little, how Zola is going to act around her six months from now...Plus, now I'm all covered in goo goo mommy hormones and I'm sexed up, I'd probably agree to let you impregnate me with triplets or an alien if you say the right things."

Derek laughed, squeezing Meredith even tighter in his arms. "We might have cute alien babies together, you know, if we make such pretty human ones..."

Derek was not surprised when Meredith smacked his chest. He totally deserved that one.

"This was for the triplets thing too, you know." She growled playfully, resettling on his chest.

Derek laughed at Meredith's pout. "What's wrong with triplets?"

"Glossing over the fact that they'll tear my body apart, you seriously want five kids, five girls most likely?" She smiled at the last detail, and Derek grimaced.

"Maybe not exactly five girls, but five kids? Yeah, why not."

"Seriously?" She yelped a little, propping herself up on his chest with her forearm and staring into his eyes.

"It was fun when I was a kid. Well, when my sisters weren't teasing me. I could deal with two girls and three boys, or three girls and two boys, but if we have five girls, I'll be okay with that too."

"Five..."Meredith gulped, her whole body still over his chest now.

"Hypothetically, Mer. Maybe our Pigeon turns out to be a little monster, and we'll have our hands full with just two. Hypothetically, five is a good number." He smirked, a glint in his eyes then, as Meredith kept freaking out internally. "Or maybe six. Three and three."

"Okay, now you're pushing it." Meredith laughed, the tension ebbing away. He was just kidding, wasn't he? She could freak out big time over this. So much that she could jump up and start screaming, but she knew that realistically he wanted to wait a little more to have one more child, so she could avoid the issue a little longer. She had a degree in avoidance techniques, after all.

"Hey, you don't have to give birth to all of them. Janet loves us. We can be the next Brangelina and adopt kids from all over the world."

Meredith laughed loudly then, picturing their future, hypothetical multicultural family. It took her a while to sober up, but Derek was laughing along with her.

They were merely breathing together then, Derek's fingers tracing haphazard circles over Meredith's hip as she rested her ear over his heart, calming their laughter.

He was just kidding.

"Be honest with me, okay? Do you really want more kids or you're just agreeing to more to placate me?" Derek asked when the silence dominated the room once again, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Considering how I felt when Zola turned three, I think my uterus will start aching by the time Evvie is weaned." Meredith laughed, and so did Derek. "I don't know, Derek. Being a mom is not so bad after all, and I think...three. We can handle one more if it comes down to it. A boy, hopefully." Meredith admitted, biting her lip, a soft, distant smile on her face. "A boy with your hair and your smile."

"Oh, Mere." He grinned kissing her temple with reverence, holding her even closer. She had a way to amaze him that sometimes left him at a loss for words.

"See, goo goo mommy hormones and sex don't mix well. You'll be the death of me."

Derek laughed at her frustrated sigh, but he knew she meant it. She wanted a boy too, and he would make sure to bring up the topic when the time felt right. For now, they had a very amusing three year old and a demanding infant, and they were going to enjoy every second of the experience.


So, um...I was nervous about posting this. It will probably be the last time you'd see me write smut, but I thought they had to regain a certain kind of intimacy after six weeks of being Mommy and Daddy. Plus, the fact that Adele died cemented their need for closeness, so I gave them this moment together. I could have easily gone without it, but I felt like adding it, because it's not all rainbows and sunshine, or crazy sex in an exam room like they have always had, it's just...them. Also, someone requested smut, and I kinda like pleasing you readers, since you're so kind to me. I've seen a decline of reviews, and views in general, but I understand that things get boring after 55 chapters, so I'm not complaining. Those of you who are around make up for all those who have left :D

I'm trying to follow more or less loosely the events in the show, hence Adele's death, but I won't electrocute Richard and make him act like a douche, don't worry. I have small little plans for Richard in the next chapter. There might be a storm though, if I feel like having it. I know that Adele died before Ethanand his storyline with Owen and Cristina were mentioned, but I'm shuffling things around a little; keeping it fresh, you know?

What do you think, do you see Meredith having the feared five chatty children she mentioned back in S5, even Brangelina style? Or she'll call it quits after Evelyn?

I'll try to keep up with the weekly updates, but I basically have no more banked chapters until Evelyn is four months old, and I have lots of things to tie up before then. Bear with me if you won't get your weekly dose of Hope, real life always comes first after all.

Thank you for stopping by!