Part 55 – Later that night…
(December 30, 2010)

Dean crept into the cottage and bent to yank off his boots. It had been a close one. He'd nearly gone into a ditch. He'd had to dig through the snow to make sure he'd have traction when he backed out onto the road. He'd slipped more than once getting salt into the snow to melt it down enough to provide the traction. He quickly shed his wet clothing and put on a pair of dry boxer briefs. He slid into bed behind Liz. She shifted and shivered at the cold of his body. "Dean, you're freezing."

"Warm me up." He buried his face in her hair. God, she smelled good.

She was quiet for a long while. "Did you fuck her?"

"Fuck who?"

"The girl from my dream."

"I didn't fuck anyone."

"You were going to. I saw it… I couldn't unsee it." She sniffed. "I was afraid if I… if we fought that you would. And we can't ever stop fighting." She shifted onto her back, forcing him to face her. "I saw it."

"I thought about it. I was going to but I…" He averted his eyes as he relayed the tale. "I was following her to her place. There was ice on the road. The car spun. I nearly slid into a ravine… when I stopped… when the world stopped… she wasn't even in my mind… all I kept thinking was…"

"What?"

"I needed to get back to you." He pressed his lips to her forehead. "You take me over and I don't know what to do with it."

"Dean… I don't know how to love a hunter but I'm trying so hard. I'm scared for us, for the baby."

He leaned over her and placed a hand on her swollen belly. Promptly, he felt little Johnny's swift kicks. "I don't want to screw this up, Liz. I'm trying but there are some things that I don't know how to do."

"Okay."

"You have to trust me. You have to stop holding me up to him."

"I don't."

"You do. You look at me and you expect more. You expect him." He felt the wet slip onto his eyelashes. "Just… don't ask me to leave. Ask me whatever you have to but don't ask me to leave."

The words were thick in her throat but she forced them out. "When you hunted that Lady in White… why did it target you?" She saw the bewilderment in his eyes. "It didn't go after Sam, it attacked you. Why?"

"Who told you?"

"Marty."

"Liz. Lady in White… she goes after unfaithful men. Doesn't matter when they were unfaithful, just that they were. I swear to you that as long as we've been doing this… it's only been you." He laid his head against her shoulder. "I'll bunk with Sam. I'll bum a bed from Marty… just don't make me leave you." He took a deep shuddering breath. "There's not a whole lot holding me together these days… If you… I can't… I need you to have me here."

Four Days later…
(January 3, 2011)

Dean leaned on the case as he slid his hand into the glove. Gently, he stroked his son's arm. "Hey there, kiddo. I'm your Dad." Why was his mouth so dry all of a sudden? "Don't worry. Dr. Meyer knows all the cool docs with the drugs. They're gonna get you out of there soon.

"Listen. You gotta get better. Your mom hasn't seen you yet. Your uncle is wearing a hole in the floor with all his pacing… and your grandparents are scaring me… and as for me… I'm kind of missing out on the whole first time dad routine. I'm supposed to hold you and show you the world. I guess we can do some of that now.

"Your name is John Winchester. I named you after my dad. I'll bore you your whole life with stories about him. I'll tell you what I remember about my mom. I give your uncle hell about believing in angels but I'll let it slide for you. My mom always used to tell me that angels watched over me while I slept and I hope to God that they do. We need all the help and hope we can get, bud."

Dean felt the weak grip around his little finger and leaned his head on the case. "I love your mom, kiddo. I do but we got into a fight the other day. Kind of like the last few months but… I'm a little afraid that I made you show up too early. The doc says the risk is minimal but he still said the word 'risk' and Winchesters never get the easy road. Maybe I shouldn't have married her. As an Evans you might have had a better shot. I'd still be proud to call you my son but…"

The group of nurses began to grow behind the desk as they stopped to listen to a beautiful man speak to his sick son. He was the only baby in the NICU. Baxter didn't see many complications to require full staffing there.

"So you gotta get strong for me. We gotta gang up on your mom. I'll teach you to burp and scratch. It'll drive her nuts. Some day maybe you could come on a hunt with your uncle and me. I got a rifle with your name on it… literally. It's a Winchester that my dad got from a good friend. Name's engraved right on it." He sniffed and tried to smile but it wavered away. He steeled himself behind closed lids for a second. He opened them to peer at his son's closed eyes. His throat was tight but he forced the words out. "I want to tell you to get better because the world is a bright and wonderful place but I won't start lying to you so young with the odds stacked against you the way they are. My dad wouldn't do it to me and I won't do it to you, ever.

"There are things in his world that scared even your grandpa and I'll tell you, he was one bad ass son of a bitch. I've seen things that give tougher men nightmares. I would totally not blame you if you chose not to pass 'Go' or collect 200. My mom could take care of you in whatever passes for heaven these days… but I promise you that if you choose to live… that all of the things in this world that hate, that hide in the dark or any of the other nightmare things will not touch a hair on your head. They will all have to go through me and through your mom cause she's one tough chick. She has to be. She carried you for nearly nine months and she puts up with me… and who even knows why she would do that… And she takes care of your Uncle Sam, too." The small hand shifted its grip on his finger and Dean let a tight smile settle on his face. "Yeah, I think that's funny too. Uncle Sam."

"I'll tell you what though. I hate hospitals. I've been in and out of them all my life… but this one is pretty nice. Dr. Meyer is around and she'll take care of you." Dean lifted his head and immediately a scurry of activity caught his attention. He turned in time to see several women grab for folders and charts to look busy. "Well, marriage hasn't changed my sex appeal. I wasn't even trying… I'll teach you how to do that someday, too."

John's eyes opened a little. Dean peered into the box for a better look. "That's right, buddy. Try for your old man." He gently squeezed the little fingers in encouragement. The heavy lids opened wider, he took a deep breath. His tiny chest heaved with the action. As he deflated, his eyes fell closed. He gave a little shudder and shifted his head. Dean set his jaw against a tremor. "Good job, kid. Keep trying. I'll wait."

When Dean ran his hand over his face, it was wet. Dr. Meyer appeared out of nowhere and picked up the chart. Her question was silent before she began recording vital stats. "Just giving him some words of encouragement… He opened his eyes."

"Oh?" She seemed a little too surprised for Dean's liking.

"Just a little. His eyes are green." He forced a smile that turned natural as he realized his son had his eyes.

"All Winchester, huh."

"Hoping he inherits his mother's fortitude."

"He's doing fine, Dean. Keep talking to him. I think it's helping. When Liz comes around, we'll bring her down here."

"Hey, doc… think I could let Sam in here? I don't want to leave him alone… you know…" Dean shook his head.

"It's okay, Dean. Just talk to the head nurse and we'll get Sam a bracelet." She nodded for him to go. "You go and I'll stay. I promise."

He moved on automatic. Filling out the request and permissions forms. Then Sam got his own NICU bracelet to relieve Dr. Meyer from her post. Dean wandered into the bathroom and used soap, water and his pocket knife to clean up his face. It wasn't exactly a clean shave but it would have to do. He'd get his hair cut later. When he finally sat himself down beside Liz's bed, he felt a little more peaceful. She was still asleep but he didn't want to wake her up. She'd just squeezed a human being out of her body, she deserved to rest.

He never even realized when he'd started to doze until he felt a hand sliding up and down his badly shorn cheek. "Handsome… I knew you had a face under there."

"How are you feeling?" He rubbed his eyes open and took her hand.

"Like I just had a bowling ball removed." She laughed humorlessly. "Do I look like crap?"

"I'd say you look amazingly well for someone who yelled and screamed the way you did. Not that I blame you. He's on the small side but considering what you got to work with… a challenge."

"They took him, huh." She sniffed and rubbed at the tears slipping from her eyes.

"Yeah. He's in the ICU. They gave you those drugs and they gave some more to him. He was awake for a little bit. You want to go see him?"

"Yeah." She nodded and groaned when she tried to sit up.

"Yeah, I'll call the nurse first." He reached over her to hit the button.

"You had better not laugh at me. That was hard work."

"I believe you." Dean looked up when the nurse entered and silently cursed and hoped that she wouldn't recognize him. He knew his luck had run out when he saw Liz's face turn to stone.

"Mrs. Winchester, you're awake." She pulled the chart and flicked her eyes over it. "We'll just check some of your vitals and see about getting you in to see your son." She smiled brightly at them and removed the stethoscope from around her neck. "I don't think you have anything to worry about. Dr. Karlson and Dr. Meyer are very good and you're very lucky to have both working with your son."

"Dr. Meyer is a personal friend." Liz smiled wanly, flicking her gaze to her husband. Then she gripped his hand. "He's not alone, is he? If you're here?"

"No, I left Sam with him. We all get these nifty little bracelets." He held up his wrist and then plucked at hers on her wrist.

"Just to ensure that no one makes off with the babies." The nurse smiled at them, then frowned a bit when her eyes landed on Mr. Winchester. She opened her mouth to say something but thought better of it. "It's not a common thing in these parts but it's state mandate. Um… I'm Serena, by the way. I'll be working this floor all week."

Great, Liz thought as she shifted her eyes to her guilty-looking husband. She didn't have time for this. She wanted to see her son. She looked to him. "Did you talk to the doctor?"

"It's gonna be okay." Dean assured her.

"The doctor is on his way." Serena told them. "He wanted to talk to you before you go down there." She frowned at the sleeve she'd slipped around Liz's arm. "Blood pressure is still a little high but hoping that's just parental worry."

"Among other things." Liz sighed as she fixed her gaze on Dean's shirt.

--

"I got her." Dean moved between Serena and Liz. He lifted her off the bed and set her in the wheelchair. He let her clasp his hand over her shoulder as he guided the chair after Serena to the NICU. No jostling for a new mother. He let Serena explain to Liz what they would see when they got to the room. He felt her squeeze his hand and stopped the procession. "Liz, you can do this."

"Okay." She nodded shakily and allowed herself to be wheeled into the next room, where her bracelet was scanned and Sam was waiting to exit. His jaw dropped when the nurse stepped in behind them. Dean held back a snicker and lightly tugged on Liz's hair. An idea had struck that could score him points with more than one person. "Sammy, close your mouth. You'll catch flies." Embarrassed, Sam looked away but his brother wouldn't shut up. "This is my younger, single, brother Sam. Maybe you could take him for some coffee while my wife meets our son?"

Serena bit her lip against an obvious smile and against a comment but held the door for Sam. "I'll show you the coffee pot that's not lethal."

Liz squeezed his hand and nuzzled it with her cheek. Diversion. A good tactic. "I'm ready."

"Okay." Dean pushed the chair into the room. "She was right. There are tubes running all over the place and from areas you don't think there should be."

"Okay," she breathed. "Okay. I'm ready." She let him push the chair to the incubator. Her eyes widened when she finally saw him. "I thought his lungs were okay. That they were sure that they got him mature enough."

Dean lifted her hand to the glove hole. "They just want to make sure he doesn't develop an infection."

"I don't like the thought of him in a box. How does he know I'm here?"

"You're stalling. Touch him, Liz." Dean coaxed her hand closer to the glove hole. "They said he's been doing better since I came in. I've been talking to him and touching him. He knows that someone's here, I promise you that."

Liz slipped her hand into the glove. She stroked her son's arm and lightly touched his cheek around the oxygen tube. "Hi baby. I'm your mommy." She cast Dean a look. "I feel stupid. How did you do this?"

"I just started talking… and then I couldn't stop."

"What if he has to stay here, Dean?" Liz could feel the panic creeping in.

"Sh." Dean took a seat so he could see them both. "Liz, Johnny and I already had a talk. He's free to move on if he chooses but if he stays, I promised he'd get to know his mother." He offered her a painful smile. "I turned into a poet, a crappy one but I was telling him all about you. So… just talk to him."

"Johnny, huh." Liz managed a weak smile. "Hey Johnny." She forced a smile, a pretty big one when his little head moved. "You and Daddy have been talking, huh? You'll have to teach me how to get him to do that." Her smile warmed up when she felt Dean's hands on her shoulders in a firm squeeze. "I'll bet he's been filling your head with all kinds of crap. So, um, let me lay down the rules. There will be no weapons training before you can ride a bike. There will be no school night hunting… no matter how badass the monster… and if you ever run off on me, my heart will break." She choked back a sob.

"I was telling Johnny about the time his grandpa exorcised a demon while changing a diaper in the next room."

"He did not." She rolled her eyes and wiped at her face with her free hand.

"Did so."

"I have an in that says that's an exaggeration." She leaned into him as she slowly began to count his appendages with her gloved hand. "Ten fingers… ten toes."

"There's no tail. I asked."

"Shut up." She nudged him with her shoulder. She continued to gently lift limbs.

"What are you looking for?"

"A birthmark."

"No triple sixes. I asked."

"Is everything about our son a joke to you?" She lifted her gaze to him to find he was laughing at her already but that his eyes weren't quite filled with the same mirth as his face. She let go of John's hand to face him fully. "Smooth moves back there. You better hope they fall in love and your meeting either never comes to light or becomes a family joke."

"How long are you going to hold that over my head?"

"For as long as I have to." She turned back to their son but rested her other hand on Dean's thigh. "I wish I could hold him. He doesn't feel real, yet."

"Maybe he feels the same way." He slid closer and slid his hand into the other glove. "He's got a decent shot. Sam did the geek boy thing and even though there's risk, there's chance."

"I need to call my parents." She sighed but didn't tear her eyes off her boy. Tears continued to well in her eyes but she didn't bother to wipe them away.

"They're here but somewhere that's not right on top of me." He admitted. "I called them while you were in labor."

"So, we just wait now, huh."

"Yeah… I never liked stake outs."


TBC