Chapter 50: Together
"One day he'll be strong enough to defeat Jones, Will... I can feel it."
We were arguing. I wanted Willy to fight Jones, Will thought it was too much of a risk. Funny how we'd completely changed opinions. That was when Willy was only battle had seemed so far away then. It seemed too far away to even think about the possibility of Willy dying.
Jacklynn wasn't even born then. I didn't even know I was pregnant with her at that time, Actually, I may not have even been pregnant yet. In fact, that conversation may have occurred the same day Jacklynn was conceived.
"Only let him fight if you're certain he'll win," Will had said to me. He was worried about our children's safety. Where had that worry gone? What had changed in Will that allowed him to let Willy and Jacklynn fight? Part of me wanted to ask him right then and there.
"Whatever you do," Will had said, "Don't let him die the way I did."
Even just remembering those words brought chills to my body. I could feel my mind wanted to flash back to that day, the worst day of my life, the day my husband died. Sitting there, watching him, hopeless, panicked... No! I could not flashback right now I could not remember that day. It hurt too much, and the pain never ceased.
"I won't," I had promised him. I had promised him I wouldn't let Willy die. I had promised him that everything would be alright, and in that moment I had meant it. Even if I had made that promise only a minute before the battle I would have meant it, but I had failed.
"Are you alright?" the present-day Will asked, standing beside me.
"I broke my promise," I stated, emotionless.
"To who?"
"To you."
Will looked confused. "Elizabeth, what are you talking about?"
"I promised I wouldn't let him fight unless we were sure he'd win," I sighed, "But someone convinced me to do it anyway."
Will sighed. I watched as his normal expression, full of bravery and courage, turned into one of sorrow. For a second I even wondered if he was about to cry.
"This is completely my fault," he sighed, "Don't blame yourself."
"You used to be the one who didn't want them to fight," I said, staring at the floor in front of me, ignoring the fact that he clearly felt immensely guilty already."What changed that?" I asked.
"Willy."
I turned to face him, not believing what he said. "Willy?"
"Do you remember the third time I saw him?" Will asked, "The first time he'd been old enough to talk?"
"Yes," I said, "The time you took him to spend time with you on your ship?"
"Yes. But do you know why I did?"
"Because you wanted Willy to have a chance to meet his father."
"Yes, but do you know what made me realize that I needed to?"
"No." I supposed I never had asked.
"It was what he said," Will sighed, "I'll never forgot those words."
I had never heard of this before and it interested me greatly. "What did he tell you?"
A look of anger and sadness overtook Will's figure. To that day whatever Willy had said still must have greatly upset him.
"How he was the only one who cared about you," Will began. "How I never spent any time with you. How I'd abandoned the both of you," he said, raising his voice. I had seen Will maybe this hurt and upset once and that was when he asked me how he could trust me if I made my choices alone, back when he had just gone through horrible thoughts of thinking I loved Jack. I still didn't understand how he could ever have assumed that. The hurt and anger showed on his face that day and that hurt and anger was there again in the present. Will was never one to really express his problems, he liked to keep them inside and deal with them on his own, so when he did express something, it was probably something that had been bugging him for quite some time, something that he thought about often.
Part of me tried to understand why he was still worried about this now. Willy knew Will cared about him now. He knew Will hadn't abandoned him by choice, so why was Will still holding on to this anger?
"He told me how I clearly didn't care about either you or my own son," Will continued, with the same intensity. He paused for a second, closed his eyes and shook his head. For whatever reason this memory was truly very hurtful and real for my husband.
"He thought I'd left him by choice," Will said, calming down. His expression had turned from one of anger to sorrow, and in fact he was almost fighting tears. He was good at hiding his pain, and tried to shove back the tears and would have been successful at hiding it if he had been talking to anyone else. I was his wife though and a wife can see through her husband's mask and into his true emotions.
"I never wanted to be my father," he continued, sighing, "I never wanted to repeat his mistakes. I love him, and I appreciate the relationship I have with him now, but a thousand years could not make up for the time we'd lost. That's why I let them fight... so I could be an ever-present father."
I sighed. Everything started to make sense to me. I understood why he did what he did and under different circumstances I probably would have forgiven him right then and there, but that was not different circumstances. Even if Will had good intentions that didn't change the fact that Willy lay on the deck of the ship, unconscious. That didn't change the fact that he hadn't even gotten there himself. That didn't change the fact that we weren't even sure if he'd still be alive tomorrow or even more unlikely a week from then.
"I'm sorry," Will apologized.
"Don't apologize to me," I said, coldly. "Apologize to your son. Apologize to him as you ferry him to World's End or are you just going to leave his soul to wander like you have been doing with all the rest of them lately?"
"I did that for you," he argued, "For our children."
"Yes, and you may have killed one of them in the process."
I started to walk away. I was done with the conversation that was at hand. I needed space. I needed answers. I knew I couldn't stay mad at Will forever. I knew I wasn't even half as mad at him as I seemed. I knew I just needed someone to be mad at to let my frustration out on. I knew the only reason I'd chosen Will to be mad at was because I knew he'd forgive me.
"Elizabeth," he called after me as i continued walking away.
Even when I was mad at him, I couldn't not stop when he called. That, and there was a part of me that needed to be comforted right then and perhaps that was a way to get it.
"He may still survive," Will said as I turned to face him.
"Then why is he still unconscious?" I asked, still angry.
"He's still breathing."
"Oh really? And how do you know that?" I asked, raising my voice, "Have you checked within the last five minutes?"
"Because I can see him there as his chest moves up and down, something one doesn't normally do when they're dead."
Why couldn't he just let me be mad at him? Why did I not have the power to stay mad at Will Turner? And more importantly, why was he just letting me stand there, why was he not coming to comfort me?
I stood there silently, frustrated. I didn't move. I had a blank stare on my face. Why did that have to be happening to me?
Then I felt it-a gross slimy feeling of an arm wrapped around my back. He was holding me again. The feeling as it had been recently, was a little unpleasant. I was never one for tentacles. They did have a rather disturbing feeling to them. That didn't matter in that moment though. Just having someone hold me, and in fact not just anyone, but my beloved husband William Turner, somehow that made everything feel better.
"Elizabeth," he said. I knew he had something more to say than just my name, but I didn't let him finish. Sometimes my name alone was enough. I threw myself into his chest. I just wanted to have some reassurance that everything would be alright, even if it was only a false assurance. I just needed to be held.
I felt his arms wrap around me as he embraced me. It felt strange to be hugged by a sea monster, but the fact that that "monster" was Will Turner somehow made everything seem better.
I felt the tears leave my cheeks and I just let them. Sometimes I was one to fight tears and other times it wasn't worth it. I sobbed into my husband's chest.
"What if they can't lock up Calypso?" I asked, as the tears continued to flow, "What if Jack's wrong?
"Why would Jack be wrong?" he asked, calmly, "Why would Calypso have fled as soon as he mentioned the idea if Jack was wrong?"
"Why is there only one place she can be summoned from?" I asked.
"It's not so much that there's only one place she can be summoned from," he explained,
"As it is that there's only one place where if one summons her from that place she must respond."
"That's not how Jack explained it originally, back when all this started, the time we first summoned her."
"There are some things even Jack doesn't know."
"Then how do you?" I asked curiously, the tears stopping.
"Mrs. Turner," he joked, "Do you not realize who you're married to? I'm Captain of the Flying Dutchman."
"And I suppose with becoming Captain of the Flying Dutchman you automatically gained a ton of knowledge?"
Will laughed. "Perhaps my father helped. He has taught me a lot."
I nodded. As the tension died down between the two of us, I was greatly beginning to enjoy the embrace I found myself in. I smiled as I rested my head against his chest once more. Even when his arms, legs, chin and parts of his chest were covered in slime and very sea creature like, he was still my husband and I still loved him greatly.
"How's the boy?" my father asked from behind as he came up the stairs, joining Will and I on the deck of the Dutchman.
"There's been no change," Will said, letting go of me entirely. I spun around to face my father. I would have loved in that moment to still be in Will's embrace, or at least to have his right arm holding me from behind.
My father looked sad upon hearing that there was no change. I thought he would go back under deck upon the news, but instead he stayed there with us.
"So tell me boy," he said, "When does the..." He paused, clearly lost for words. He started gesturing to his face and placing his fingers in the form of tentacles.
He cleared his throat. "When does the... it... go away?"
"Either whenever I return to my duty," Will answered, "Or whenever I am freed from this curse."
"Let's hope for the latter now shall we?" my father asked.
Part of me just wanted the conversation to end. I hated discussing these things. Everything could feel so helpless at times. We never knew what to expect. Would Will be freed from the curse? Would Willy die? I hated that this was all we could find to talk about.
"Something wrong, dear," my father asked.
"No, nothing!" I lied. I knew Will would catch the lie. He knew me better than that, I wondered if my father did as well.
"Really?" he asked, "You don't seem it."
My son was unconscious. My husband was a sea creature. My father wouldn't leave me alone. Why did he even bother to ask if something was wrong. Of course something was wrong.
My father sighed. "Hopefully, the boy will survive."
I bit my lip and nodded.
"Would be a pity to loose such a young lad."
Could he not just stop talking about that for one moment?
"I really don't think we should be worrying about that," Will cut in, probably noticing the conversation was making me somewhat uneasy.
We heard footsteps coming up the deck again and watched as Bootstrap emerged. So much for alone time with Will.
"The boy alright?" he asked.
Did they really all feel the need to ask this? Did they not think if something happened we wouldn't tell them immediately anyway?
"There's been no change, sadly," my father answered.
"Jacklynn's a little bothered by this all," Bootstrap explained to Will and I, almost ignoring my father entirely. "Says it's her fault."
"How could it be her fault?" Will asked.
"Don't know," Bootstrap answered, "Tried to explain it to her, but she wouldn't listen. Figured maybe her parents could help."
"Send her up," Will ordered.
With that Bootstrap returned back under deck.
"Poor girl," my father said, "To have to endure that at such a young age."
Yes, because if she was older it would be any better.
Mere seconds later Jacklynn came running up on deck. "Grandpa said you needed to talk to me?" she asked.
"Yes," I said, hoping to get the truth out of her, "He tells me you think this is your fault?"
Funny how all the Turners seemed to think that tonight. I blamed myself for letting Will convince me to let them fight. Will blamed himself for thinking more about making sure they had a present father than the risk they were taking, and who knew why Jacklynn thought this was her fault.
In the background, I noticed Bootstrap returned to the deck as Jacklynn began explaining. "Willy got hurt when he was saving my life. Jones was going to kill me, but Willy stopped him and that's when he got hurt. It was right before dad got there."
"Jacklynn," I said as I kneeled down to be at the same level as her. "This isn't your fault, darling."
Jacklynn began sobbing in my arms, as I hugged her. "If I hadn't left dad's ship in the first place none of this would have happened. Willy didn't even want to leave. I convinced him."
"Honey, what you did was wrong, but that does not make you responsible for your brothers wound. The only one who can take responsibility for that is Davy Jones himself. This is not your fault at all."
Funny how sometimes the words I said to my daughter were the words I needed to hear myself. The only one who was responsible was Davy Jones, not I, not Will, not Jacklynn-Davy Jones.
Will joined us and kneeled down to Jacklynn's level as well. "Your mother's right. You can't take responsibility for someone else's actions."
I nodded. "Your father's right."
Jacklynn continued to cry. "I should have just listened."
I opened my mouth to comfort her, but Will did so instead. I watched intently.
"And now you'll know for next time," he explained, "It's not the mistakes we make that matter, it's what we do with them, what we learn from them, and whether or not we ever repeat them again."
I smiled. I loved watching him parent. It was something I had never seen before. I loved doing this together, parenting with him. My heart filled with pride and happiness watching my husband and the father he was.
"What does that mean?" Jacklynn asked.
"Well," Will explained, "The next time I tell you to stay on a ship are you going to?"
"Yes."
"Then you've learned from your mistake."
Jacklynn smiled. "Is that enough to bring Willy back to life?" she asked.
"He's not dead," I corrected. I had been the one who'd been insisting that he was going to die all night, but then seemed like as good a time as any to change that opinion.
"But he might die," Jacklynn said.
"But he might live," I corrected.
"When will we know?"
"As soon as we do we'll tell you."
She nodded. I hoped she understood.
"But for now," I explained, "You need to be getting back to bed."
She nodded again. I was surprised to see my daughter agreeing that she needed to go to bed. Someone had clearly had a tiring day.
"Here," Bootstrap said, walking closer to her, "I'll take ya back under deck." He stretched out an arm for her to grab and I watched as she took it. Then the two of them returned back under deck.
As soon as they were gone my father spoke again. "I'll admit", he began, "That I had my doubts about pirates raising children, but I must say I am rather impressed."
I smiled proudly and noticed Will doing the same, although it appeared he was trying to hide his smile for some reason.
"Now," my father continued, "If only those pirates didn't feel the need to act differently whenever I'm around."
I noticed Will looked puzzled suddenly. My own face was overtaken by a look a guilt.
"Well," my father spoke again, "I shall leave you two alone again so you may return to the way you were before I came."
"What?" I asked quietly, but apparently I wasn't so quite and he had heard me.
"Oh, don't be silly, Elizabeth," he said, "I'm not a fool. I've noticed how you two will hug and get all intimate and then as soon as you notice me coming you break apart. I've known for years."
I felt completely strange in that moment as I watched him go back under deck. He knew. He knew our position always changed the moment he entered the room. It wasn't as if we had ever done anything wrong or inappropriate, but it still seemed strange to think that he knew. Part of me was even embarrassed that I'd tried to hide it from him.
"He knows," I said to Will.
"We are married," he said, "I suppose he suspected something. We do have children, Elizabeth."
We stood there in silence for a few moments.
"Do you think he's angry?" Will asked.
"No," I replied, "But I do get the sense that he's hurt."
Will nodded.
"I suppose," I began thinking aloud, "I'd be hurt too if either Willy or Jacklynn didn't feel comfortable enough to be themselves around me."
Will nodded again. "Aye."
I sighed. I knew Will was always the one to break away from me whenever my father entered, but if I was to be entirely honest with myself, if he hadn't, I would have. As much as I didn't want to and as much as it annoyed me whenever he did, if he didn't break away from me whenever my father entered, I would have broken away from him.
"I suppose we need to do something about that," Will stated.
I nodded. "It will be different at first."
"At least he's your father, he automatically loves you. I'm just the humble blacksmith, not even, I'm the blacksmiths' apprentice. I'm just the boy who somehow managed to woo his daughter and in the process destroyed her sense of propriety, reputation and turned her into a pirate."
I smiled. "I would have done that with or without you anyway."
"He doesn't know that."
I grinned, happy to just be with Will again. A few minutes of silence passed between us as we both stood in thought. I didn't know what Will was thinking about, but I'd imagined it had something to do with what my father had just said. I for one wasn't really focused on that anymore. I was just happy to be with my husband.
"Will?" I asked, breaking the silence.
"Yes, Elizabeth?"
"I miss this."
He looked at my puzzledly.
"Us. Us together like this," I explained, "Us laughing, talking, simply enjoying each other's presence like we used to, and now... even parenting."
"I miss it to. I miss being with you, being able to even able to even have a single conversation with you."
"Will," I said, enjoying even his name, "I want to spend the rest of my life like this, with us, together. A real family."
He nodded. "If I have anything to say about it we will live like this forever," he assured, wrapping his right arm around my back again.
"I must admit though I am looking forward to when forever includes less tentacles."
"I'm sorry," he apologized, letting go.
"No," I said, returning his arm to it's former place, "Don't stop."
"Does it not feel..."
I didn't let him finish. "Perfect? Yes."
A/N:
R & R. Questions, comments, criticism whatever, Review. Thanks goes to those who did last chapter as well!
