WAASSSSSSUUP?! sorry for not updating...i was a little stuck on what to write next. No, not writer's block...i just couldn't decide HOW to start this chapter. THe words centered and underlined is by Megurine Luka's "Interviewer" i thought this song actually fits Kaiba in this chapter...I dunno why...the "..." means i omitted a lot of the lyrics...so ENJOY!
DIZCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING!
KAIBA COULDN'T RESIST HIMSELF, he kept the flash drive in locked up in his desk for three days. And during those three days…his eyes would wonder on that drawer…and on the third day….he opened the drawer.
He just couldn't help it…the flash drive seemed to be a way from him to see Shizuka again. It wasn't the same…but at least it was something. He placed the flash drive on his laptop and waited of it to scan(for viruses…ya kno…) once it was done, he opened the folder containing May, and watched every single video Shizuka taped for May.
"Popular songs say'your life's precious…but'…
He found himself smiling again, which was crazy, shouldn't he be mourning? Shouldn't he NOT watch these videos? After all, this was ALL his fault…Shizuka's dead. Why wasn't he feeling guilty?
Even if I were replaced by someone else…
Sometimes Shizuka would do the most random things while filming. She would mostly talk about her day went…sometimes; she would make funny faces at the camera. Then she would laugh, "Mama looks silly, huh?"
No one would care.
Or sometimes she would film Kaiba's garden…mostly birds…trees, the gardener, who looked up and waved at Shizuka. Roland, who was just passing by, like the current clip he was watching, Shizuka had the nerve to yell, "GOOD MORNING ROLAND!" Roland looked up, startled, he bowed awkwardly and said, "Good morning, Miss Jonouchi,"
I these unchanging days, our borrowed selves are looking for a seat..
"Aw! Please call me Shizuka," Shizuka said behind the camera. "I keep telling everyone to call me Shizuka but they keep calling me Miss Jonouchi!" Shizuka pouted. Roland bowed again, as he straightened himself he said, "As you wish, Miss Shizuka," he said. "You don't…you don't have to call me 'Miss Shizuka' Shizuka is just fine!" Roland shook his head, "I'm afraid that is all I can do, Miss Shizuka, please understand." The camera shook slightly, meaning Shizuka must be nodding, "Ok, thank you, Roland."
Being unable to amount anything…
The film ended, and Kaiba didn't hesitate to watch the next one. As he watch several of the videos he noticed that in neither that he has watch so far Shizuka never mentioned him. Until…he reached July.
Is stopping our hearts..
July 5, 3:01pm RECORDING
"Yes-yesterday…Papa and I had…a disagreement…" Shizuka said, her eyes weren't looking at the camera…she was looking distantly at something. As if she were recalling what had happened, "But we're fine now…but…something weird happened…"
This wound that's became a scab…
What happened? Kaiba wondered. What happened? What did he do?
She hesitated…her face looking so puzzled and embarrassed, "He…he KISSED me-no, he kissed you. Right here." At this she gets up from her chair, and adjusted the camera so that her belly could be seen. Her index finger pointed at a certain part of her stomach, "Right there…your papa kissed you right there."
It started to itch, so I scratched it off again…
Oh…Kaiba suddenly remembered. She FELT that? But…wasn't she asleep?
She laughs, "Why am I so embarrassed by this? This is normal…" she whispers the next part, "For the baby…it's normal…"
She adjust the camera again and she smiles, "Today Papa did something really nice this morning! I was craving some pancakes with sweet red bean paste in it…And guess what? Your papa requested them for breakfast! It was funny to see your papa eat!" then she whispered, "He HATES sweets!"
And the words began to blur for a second time..
She laughed but then he expression soften and she said quietly, "But it was very sweet of him…" her cheeks began to turn a shade of pink. Then she suddenly exclaimed, "Oh! Haha! What is this?" she placed her hand over her chest. "This is weird!"
I wanted to hear sad songs…
Was it then? Was it then Shizuka started to fall for him? Why didn't he notice the signs? Maybe he was falling for her too and he didn't know it. How could he have been so blind? Kaiba decided to stop watching the clips and spend some time with his kids.
What's your favorite music?
LATERS…
He saw Miss Eiko sitting on the rocking chair. She was reading Kisa a story. Kaiba spotted Seto in his crib, staring at the baby crib mobile (it that those toys that slowly move with the lullaby).
"Seto doesn't seem to like story time," Miss Eiko said, or any other activity she wanted to say…but she didn't think her boss would like to hear it.
What's your favorite food?
Kaiba nodded, Miss Eiko took it as a sign to leave. She got up from the rocking chair, handed Kisa to Kaiba and left the room.
Kaiba walked over to Seto's crib and shook his head, pretending to be upset, "Seto, Seto, Seto…" he began, "I told you to be nice…why can't you be nice for ONE day for papa?"
Who's the person you like?
Seto wasn't listening; his eyes were focused on the floating Kuriboh.
"Eeeeeh," Kisa uttered, "But I was good Papa! I was good!" she seemed to say.
"Yes, Kisa was very good today," Kaiba continued, "Why can't you follow Kisa's example?"
At this moment Seto turned to glance at his father, he smiled.
I mean, it's fine if it's not me….
"So you like being punished? You like Papa being mean to you? You think this is funny?" Kaiba said smiling.
Seto kicked his legs excitedly, "Aaaaah," he said, "Hey papa! Where were you?! I miss you! It's like you were gone FOREVER!"(yes, baby time and normal time is VERY different).
I covered up my ears and screamed…
Kaiba chuckled. Seto continue to smile at him, "You're becoming a lot like me, aren't you?" Kaiba said softly. Kaiba, using his free hand ruffled his son's hair.
Something like, 'no one understands!'
"And you," he turned to Kisa, who squealed. Kaiba chuckled again, "Yes you, you're becoming someone VERY special to papa…"
The truth is, just superficially..
"Pffft!" Kisa exclaimed, "Papa! I said something weird! Did you hear it?! Hey..wassat?" her eyes turned to Kaiba's shirt.
I wanted to be loved…
(I'm going to pretend that this is a long ass instrumental)
MEANWHILE…
Sleeping beauty. Sleeping beauty is what the staff at the hospital began to call Shizuka…when referring to her. Since it is against the health care code to talk about patients…so nurses and doctors would use the nickname 'Sleeping beauty' when they were referring to Shizuka. It made sense…since Shizuka is their youngest patient with a coma( I hope this doesn't sound rude…).
"So ya goin' to see Sleeping Beauty?" a custodian said to a nurse. The nurse nodded, "Yeah…just needed to check up on her and see how she is doing…"
"Alrighty then! See ya later!" the custodian said. And the nurse nodded, "See ya!"
"Mornin' Beauty!" the nurse exclaimed smiling at Shizuka's unresponsive form. Jonouchi woke up suddenly, "Wha…?" he said.
"Oh, good mornin'! I was talking to your sister…" said the nurse.
Jonouchi yawned; he stayed all night by Shizuka's side, while Mai went home to rest. "Mornin'" Jonouchi grumbled trying to wake up.
"Couldn't sleep?" the nurse said while recording Shizuka's vital signs. "Uh yeah…I did…I'm just sore…"
The nurse nodded, "You know you don't have to keep an eye on her 24/7. I'm sure her boyfriend or whoever would be more than happy to be with her…"
"She…she doesn't have a boyfriend…" Jonouchi muttered. Why was this nurse being so nosy? Where was that other nurse? The weird one?(haha! Referring to me..)Sure, she talked a lot and said pretty insensitive things…but she wasn't into people's business.
"No boyfriend?!" the nurse exclaimed, "I thought this girl would have someone by now…she's really cute! It's a damn shame…" she said shaking her head.
"Well she doesn'" Jonouchi muttered. The nurse didn't notice Jonouchi's annoyance with her so she said, "Well I'm done…I'll be back soon," and she left.
"Mornin' Shizuka," Jonouchi said softly, he placed his hand over Shizuka's cool one, "How are ya? Today's your third day here in this hospital…"
LATERS…
Kaiba placed both Seto and Kisa on the floor on their bellies. Miss Eiko told him it was a good idea…since it would help the twins have better mobility later on.
If you're not amounting to anything…
"Ha-mmmm!" Kisa said, "This feels funny! HAHAHAHA!" Kisa was saying(maybe).
"Pffffff!" Seto exclaimed. "I feel silly! Get me up!" Seto glared at the floor, "Huuuu!" he exclaimed.
Pretend that you've accomplished something…
"Hey…Seto…" Kaiba began; he sat Indian style on the floor, "What's wrong? You feel funny?"
He watched as Seto started to drool but was still glaring at the floor. Kaiba chuckled, "Ok, time to get up…"
By mending just your shape…
He carried both babies and sat on the rocking chair. Kaiba made a vow that he was going to move on…he wasn't going to mourn or feel sad for himself. Shizuka is gone…he needed to move on, for the twins.
You'll be smiling all the time…
It was strange, for some reason, Kaiba didn't feel like Shizuka is gone. It was…more like…she just went shopping or something…and she would come through that door any moment. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he face the fact that she's dead?
I wonder what's not enough?
After the babies were put to sleep, Kaiba went back into his study and placed Shizuka's flash drive into his laptop again.
He was watching Shizuka's videos for August.
What, at the very least, is fine?
August 18: recording
Shizuka sits in front of screen and smiles at the camera.
"Good morning!" she says cheerfully. "Today, I am officially four months pregnant! Did you hear that?! FOUR months!" she held up four fingers up towards the camera to emphasize her point.
The depressing time before 7 in the morning is…
Kaiba smiled. He treasures her smile.
"You're already kicking, turning…and to think you can't even hear yet!" she laughed.
"But you're getting bigger everyday…wanna see?" she get up from her chair and the camera zooms in on her swollen belly. She rubbed her belly affectionately. She sits down again.
"Look at you growing up in there!" she says laughing, "I wonder what you might be doing right now," she whispers. "It's been quite a while that you haven't move yet…are you sleeping? Sleepyhead? You didn't let Mama sleep last night."
He remembered those times. Shizuka looking so tired in the morning. But she never complained, she always kept beaming. It was just in her nature to do this…to be so …carefree…but strong. Watching these clips Kaiba realized that he loved her even more than he thought. He wished she were here right now.
Then she gasps, "Ah! There you go! You started moving again! That's quite a kick you've done there! Mommy is proud! Very proud! Mommy can feel you growing very big and strong!"
Ah, let me sleep a little more…
"Keep it up little one," Shizuka says tenderly, and then she whispered, "Mama loves you,"
"Shizuka.." Kaiba whispered. He placed his fingers over her image, but then he hastily put them away.
She raised two fingers and kissed it and placed her two fingers on her belly.
After a few more videos Kaiba learned new things about Shizuka that he didn't know. For example, Shizuka can sing. How come he's never heard her sing in person? Kaiba recalled how Shizuka told him that the twins like the sound of her voice. He chuckled when he remembered himself saying that Shizuka sounded like a "banshee" and a "drowning mermaid". And watching these clips…he could see why.
What's your favorite movie?
The next thing he learned is that Shizuka liked sweets. Especially strawberry sweets, for that's what she kept craving throughout the other videos.
What's your favorite word?
Her favorite season was spring…because she likes to see the cherry blossom trees in full bloom. She also likes to draw the trees and the rosy pink petals of the blossom. She says she can't draw…but as Kaiba watch her doodle in a small note book (probably made a request to the guards who were watching her) she was actually pretty good. She likes to draw plants, animals…anything focusing on nature.
Is there someone you'd like to see right now?
It felt weird, why was he enjoying these videos? Why did it bring him so much joy when he learned something new about her? All these videos are sure to make him feel worse one day. And he will regret it. Why couldn't he stop himself?
Will it's definetly not me, right?(instrumental)
…
Kaiba went back to a video where Shizuka sang a random song she made up…which, he suspects isn't random at all…
"I open my eyes
And greeted the new day
I followed your path way
To the secret of my pains
Can you free me
From these unsafe grounds?
Secret, tell me where did she drown?"
(-Leaves Eyes, "Secret")
He closed his eyes, as he listened to her song. He vaguely recalled how Jonouchi said that Shizuka was blind. How she was scared of her surgery…could this song talk about her she felt like she was drowning into darkness?
…
What's your favorite music?
What's your favorite word?
Kaiba glanced at the clock on his screen. He saw how late it was…he sighed. He took out the flash drive and turned off his laptop.
Who's the person you like?
It's definitely not me.
Like that I was giving up selfishness…
I hurt by my own conceit…
I finally realized that as I grow older…
Hey, Am I too late?
so no one thinks it's creepy right? ok. it just that Kaiba is now wanting to learn about someon other than himself...he's becoming less selfish and stuff. Also, he doesn't believe that Shizuka is not dead. he's not in denial...it just...a feeling you know. Kaiba is realizing how much he has missed about SHizuka...little things he feels that should count a lot. Does that make sense? Oh yeah, i did NOT translate this lyrics...so i'm not sure if there accurate... So when is SHizuka gonna wake up? When is Jonouchi gonna tell Kaiba the truth?Read n' Review!
