Disclaimer: Same

A/N: Sorry it's been so long.

For some reason, some very odd reason, neither me nor the brat are able to fall asleep tonight. I've been lying on my stomach for the past half hour with no desire to close my eyes. And Shuichi has been curled up, pressed against my side, for the same amount of time and I can still feel his breath on my skin. Not the kind of breath when he's asleep, very relaxed and moist and deep. But the kind of breath he has when he's trying to be quiet. Very shallow and in his throat.

"Yuki?"

"What?" I snapped. I wasn't angry with him. Just tired.

"Nothing. Just seeing if you were still awake."

I just grunted.

Another minute passed. "Yuki?"

I sighed then flipped over suddenly on my back. I felt him jerk back then once I was settled he settled back against my side, laying his head on my stomach. I ran my fingers through his hair, down his face, then let it rest on his shoulder. "What is it?"

"K was talking about getting my some security. You know, to drive me to and from work and such."

I decided that sense I didn't have anything better to do, that I'd contribute to the conversation. "Well, that doesn't sound like a terrible idea. You definitely need the help in the 'staying safe' area of your career."

He looked up at me with a smirk. "What do you mean?"

I peered down. "You're an openly gay, cross dressing, pop singer who doesn't have any kind of security, outside of your manic manager, whatsoever. That's really not 'staying safe'."

He chuckled and snuggled his nose against my waist, making me hold back a squirm.

"I just don't see the point in living like that…" He mumbled. "Scared, I mean. I'm going to die eventually so, I don't know…"

"You shouldn't say that." I said getting suddenly really uncomfortable. Death is a really touchy subject for me. I thought I had gotten over it. Guess not.

"Why not?" Shuichi sounded puzzled. "It's true. Someday I'm going to die."

I hate having to show my feelings and I hate making Shuichi feel bad. But if it would make him shut up… "It's just not something I like thinking about."

"What? Dying?"

Why couldn't he just fucking understand already?

"Not dying in general exactly. You dying." I expected him to squeal with delight over me saying that. I expected him to choke me with embraces and suffocate me with kisses. But it never came.

Instead I got: "You'll be fine, Yuki."

"What makes you think you'll die first anyway?" For some reason. What he's said has made me angry. On the defence. "I'm the one doing all the smoking and drinking here. I`m much more likely to die first."

"That could never happen he said." Shuichi said simply.

"Why not?"

"Because I could never live without you."

"And what makes you think I could live without you?" I didn't mean to say that. It just slipped out. My feelings beat my rudeness to my tongue.

As I knew he would, Shuichi looked up at me with surprise. Then his eyes glazed over with what he described as undying love. I described it as frustrating. How could he convey with a single look what I can't even convey in a single phrase?

"I love you, Yuki."

I looked away.

"Yuki?" His tone was so lulling. I had to force myself not to look at him.

"Yuki." I shut my eyes. His voice was intoxicating.

"Eiri." The sound of that name rolling off his tongue in that voice caused me to look down at him. He smiled in triumph. "I love you." He repeated.

I stared at him for I don't know how long before I leaned down and kissed the top of his head.

"Go to sleep." I muttered.

Shuichi said nothing. Just smiled.

A/N: Thank you to all who have stuck around. Much love.