Redemption and Ruin
Chapter Fifty-three
She wrapped the tattered and torn cloak around her shoulders, the material rubbing against her cheek as she lay on her side in the bed. She rested one hand on the curve of her stomach. Her son moved in response. She could feel him through the Force. So intelligent and curious already.
Rey wasn't sure she ever wanted children—she couldn't remember—but with her son moving around in her stomach, she couldn't imagine not having him. Even when being pregnant made her extremely ill, she wouldn't have changed anything. She had been told that the sickness was normal and temporary. She didn't mind the nausea as Ben was there to soothe her when it happened. He was there most of the time now.
She tried not to think about her impending transfer. Rey was already concerned about potentially losing contact with Ben. Or forgetting him again. Or anything else that might happen to her growing son. She was afraid for him more than for her own safety. Ben's son. Her son. She would protect their child.
"I have a plan to get you, Rey," Ben said.
"How? I don't even know where I am."
"I can feel you through the Force. I can see you almost like a bright, shining beacon of light. I can find you."
She smiled at the thought. "When will you come?"
"Soon. Tomorrow, I hope. Some of your friends are helping me. We're going to get you. I'll find you. Okay, Rey? I'll find you."
"I believe you, Ben. I believe you." Her son shifted. She rubbed her stomach. "He believes you, too. He misses you."
"I miss you both."
"How will I know it's you… when you come?" Her memories of him were still hazy. She kept trying to remember him, but it was mostly foggy glimpses of a dark-haired man in black robes. She could remember the feel of leather gloves against her skin. The clank of a helmet as it hit a table. The sound of his heart beating beneath her head.
"The Force," he said. "That's how you'll know, baby. Our son will help."
She felt a warm rush. Their son. Theirs. Hers and Ben's. Her family. She had a family.
"Rey… I found out more about your family. About your parents."
"You did?"
"I'll tell you all about them soon."
"You will? You promise?"
"I swear, Rey." She could almost feel his large hand stroking her cheek. He was warm. Safe. He loved her. So much. She could feel it.
And he loved their son fiercely. He would protect them both. She closed her eyes, revealing in the bond between them.
A young girl pulled on his robes, drawing his attention. He stared down at her. She didn't blink or flinch under his stare.
"Hi, Ben."
"Kira… don't you have lessons?"
She shrugged her thin shoulders, her robes still loose. She was the smallest of all the padawans. "It's boring. I missed you."
He sighed heavily. "Okay, kid. But just for a bit."
She scrambled up him like an animal, clinging tightly, as she hung around his neck. He helped her get situated on his shoulder. She griped his hair in her fists.
"Go, Ben!"
Rey held her stomach. It was her. This was a memory of her. One of Ben's memories of them, back when they were kids. She was younger and smaller but her hair was in the same buns her fingers knew by heart.
"I'll help you remember, Rey. I promise."
She smiled. "I love you, Ben."
"Rey—"
The connection between them fizzled out, like a static-filled comm. She could barely feel him at all, the bond dull. She screamed against the wall between them, panic filling her. Her son stirred and she tried to breathe.
Had something happened to Ben? Was he hurt? What if he were dying?
"You will come to me, apprentice. It is time," a male voice, not Ben's, hissed in her head.
She put a hand on the side of her head, wincing in pain. This wasn't like her bond with Ben. Not at all. This hurt, like someone was forcing thoughts into her head. It throbbed and her son was very upset.
"Time?" she asked outloud.
"Collect your things. You will come to me. For the child's sake."
Snoke. This was Snoke. The hologram. He was in her head. How…?
The Force. It was the Force.
"Yes… Master," she said. The word sickened her. Snoke sickened her. She wanted Ben. But she couldn't hear him. She couldn't find him.
She rubbed her stomach, trying to reassure her child. No matter what, she would protect this precious life inside her. She'd die to protect her child. She'd kill anyone who tried to harm him. Even the mysterious man who claimed to be her master.
She would find a way to Ben. She would keep their son safe. No one would hurt their child, not like how they'd been hurt.
Resistance Base – Corellia
Ben stretched his limbs as he stood up. He nearly dropped the datapad on his lap. He'd been working on studying schematics for multiple ships, including the Finalizer, and also the transport ship that Poe and Finn had stolen. He wasn't sleeping much. Not with his worries about Rey and their baby.
He liked having the bond again and feeling her near him. He knew she was far off from him, but with the bond, she could be anywhere in the galaxy and he'd feel her. That's how powerful it was.
And his son. He was amazed at his son. He already knew his son was Force-sensitive. He could feel it.
Rey would be a good mother. He knew it. Her instincts to protect their son were ingrained. He loved seeing the protective, feral side of his Rey. The woman he loved. The woman carrying his child.
It had been two weeks since he last saw her in the flesh. Two weeks. It was driving him crazy not seeing her. Not touching her. Not being there to comfort her and feel his child grow. He was missing so much.
"Ben? Ben?"
"I'm here… what's wrong?"
"Snoke… he's summoned me. Ben… I'm scared."
"I'm right here. I'm here. It's okay."
"Where are you? Are you coming?"
He felt his heart breaking. "Rey, it's okay. It's okay… you have time. You have to relax. For the baby."
"I can't…"
Ben closed his eyes. "Rey, sweetie, listen to my voice. You need to rest. Okay? I'm going to sing to you. I want you to lay down. Can you do that for me?"
"I'm scared."
"I know. I know. I need you to relax."
He started to sing their song and he felt Rey relax in degrees. She was still upset, but he could feel their child relaxing. He could feel them both starting to drift.
"Ben…" Rey whispered as she fell asleep.
She stared at the man before her. A threat to her master and her child. It was her duty to eliminate the threat.
She thumbed on the lightsaber at her side, the blade igniting to reveal a deep red color, like fresh blood. No one would harm her child. No one.
He, too, turned on his saber. The blade was red as well, only his had vents making a crossguard, and his made a crackling sound compared to the steady hum of hers. He held it in a defensive position.
"Rey, I don't want to fight you. Come with me. Let's go…" He held out his free hand.
"No! Stop lying!"
She lunged at him and he tried to block her strike. Over and over, she swung at him and he did his best to deflect her blows. She nearly got him twice, but he was quick on his feet despite his tall frame. Rey had slowed down a bit, her balance not as good thanks to the child growing inside her.
"Rey, please…"
"I won't let you take my child!"
She struck at him again and he faltered, allowing her to singe his robes. She could smell the burnt cloth and seared flesh.
"Rey, it's me. It's Ben—you don't have to do this. Snoke is lying to you! He's the one trying to take your child. To take our child."
"You lie!" she snarled.
He extinguished his saber. "I won't fight you. Rey… you can kill me if you have to. I love you. I love our baby. I want you to be safe. If killing me does that—then go ahead, kill me. I won't stop you."
The dark-haired man knelt before her, his eyes focused solely on her. She paused, still holding her humming saber. What was he doing? Why wouldn't he fight her?
"Kill him. He lies. He will kill you and take the child. Kill him…" a voice pressed in her head; her master's voice.
Arms shaking, she plunged the saber into his heart. He reached out, his hand grabbing her arm, her name on his lips as he took a last, gasping breath.
Rey bolted upright, gasping and panting, in the bed. Her heart raced and she felt her child stirring unhappily in her stomach. She put a hand over her belly, trying to soothe her anxious baby as she adjusted to the dark room.
Was it a dream? A nightmare?
"Rey? Rey, baby?"
Ben's voice was sleepy and disoriented. She sighed, relaxing more. "I'm okay… I think. What was that?"
"A nightmare, I hope. But it might be a vision. Of the future. I usually only see flashes though. I never had one like that."
"How do we stop it?"
"The future is always in flux. I won't… you won't hurt me. And if you do… if you have to in order to protect our son, do it. If you have to, I want you to kill me, Rey."
"Ben, no!"
"Promise me, Rey. Promise me that if you have to, you will. Promise me you'll do whatever it takes to protect our son. Snoke is powerful."
"I can't… I won't kill you."
"He could turn me against you. Rey, he could push me to attack you. Promise me that you won't let me hurt you. Please…"
Her heart ached at the very thought. At the idea of plunging a saber into his heart. He was a good man. He loved her. And he loved their son. How could she deprive her child of his father? How could she kill Ben?
"Rey, promise me…"
"I can't. We'll find a way. I won't kill you. Ever. I know you won't hurt me. You won't hurt us. I love you, Ben. I won't kill you."
"Rey, you might have to. If I try to hurt you… or the baby…"
"You won't. I know you. You're a good man, Ben. And I love you. I won't kill you."
"If I try to harm you or our child, Rey… I want you to kill me. I want you to protect yourself and our baby. Promise me…"
"I can't kill you."
"If you have to, don't hesitate. Please… if I ever hurt you… it would kill me. Please… I couldn't live knowing I did that."
"I won't kill you. We'll find a way. But I won't do that. I won't."
Before he could protest further, she blocked him. She couldn't kill him. Not even to save herself or their child. She couldn't kill him. She loved him. He loved her. She might not remember much about him, but she knew that. She knew how important he was to her. She wouldn't kill him. His blood wouldn't be on her hands.
"It's time."
Rey jolted awake to see Phasma in her gleaming armor standing over her. "What?"
"Wake up. It's time for you to leave. Dress quickly and pack. One bag. The rest will be provided for you."
She sat up. "What time is it?"
"You have five minutes. I will escort you to your new lodgings. Hurry."
The captain turned and swept out of the bedroom with a swish of her cape, leaving Rey rubbing her stomach uncertainly in her bed. Ben wouldn't have time to get to her. Not now. There was no way he was close enough to intercept her. There was no time.
"Ben? Ben?!" she called through the bond.
It took a moment. She could sense how groggy he was. He'd been asleep as well. "Rey? What's wrong?"
"I'm being moved. Ben…"
"Where? Rey, where?"
"I don't know. I don't… I'm afraid I'll lose you. Ben..."
"Stay with me. I'm gonna find you." He sounded more alert now. More awake. Much more awake than she felt. She was stumbling to dress herself and tuck the locket under her shirt. She hated the stiff material of the uniform. She grabbed Ben's scarf and tucked it into a bag she'd found in the closet. It was one of the few important things she had. That and the locket. She left the picture of them in the hiding spot. It was too risky to bring.
As she swung the bag on her back, Phasma returned. "Are you ready?"
"Yes."
Resistance Base – Corellia
Half-dressed, Ben sprinted through the hallways to the command center. He could feel his mother through the Force. She was there, pouring over more charts.
"Mom…"
She looked up as he ran into the room. "Ben? What's wrong?"
"Rey. They're moving her now. Taking her off the Finalizer. She's being taken to Snoke. I know it. We have to follow them. We have to find her."
"Ben, calm down."
"I can't. It's Rey… Snoke…"
She put her hands on his face. "Ben, ssh. We will get her back. But not like this. Not without a plan."
"You don't understand… Snoke… what he'll do to her… to the baby…" He couldn't think straight. He could hardly get a breath in.
A pain in his head. A constant ache. A voice. It told him to do things. Made suggestions and threats. It hurt. He tried to tell his mom. His dad. Even Uncle Luke. But no one believed him.
They sent him away. Sent him to train.
Snoke was the voice's name. It never left him, not until Kira. She drove him away. She brought him peace for the first time in a long time. Until the voice hurt her. The voice was too strong. And so he lost Kira. He lost her in the attack.
He belonged to Snoke. To the pain. To the darkness.
He couldn't let that happen to Rey. To their child. Snoke wouldn't harm his child. Not while he lived.
"We will find them. It's okay, Ben. Ben… look at me," his mother tried, but he pulled away. It was too late for comfort or for well-meaning platitudes.
"I can't… I can't…"
He ran. He ran. No one stopped him. No one. He could feel Rey through the bond, but she was fading. There was something… in the air. A drug. Rey was being drugged. He felt her slipping away as he flipped switches inside an X-wing. As he went through long buried motions learned at the hands of his father. As instinct took over.
"I'm coming, Rey. Hang on."
Author's Notes:
Sorry for the delay! It's been hell at work lately. Thank you for continuing to read and review. Thank you 'guest' for your multiple reviews so far!
