'HP: Jean and Jane'
-Chapter One-
Double Vision


A/N: Don't own squat, save the plot.

I reject your canon and substitute my own. (So there.)


Surrey

Harry James Potter was angry. No, he was more than that. Angry didn't define what he was feeling well enough. It was somewhere between livid and wrathful. "Three more years," he grumbled to himself as the Knight Bus scrambled across England. "Two and a month and I'm gone from that hell."

Like last year, Aunt Marge came visiting. She and the rest of the Dursleys were obliviated of her being inflated, so they weren't aware of the danger. She was just as petulant as always. However, unlike last year, Harry had learned. After two days of putting up with her caustic personality and taunts, Harry decided to leave before an accident happened.

The Bus jerked to a stop again, and Harry had even caught himself before being thrown. Stan perked up and said, "Crawley!"

Grabbing his trunk, which held everything he owned, Harry stood and went to exit.

"Joos gonna be okay, Neville?" Stan asked, looking concerned. He was slow, that was true, but he was observant and empathic.

Sighing, Harry waved the question away. "Yeah. Just can't put up with my aunt. She came visiting and was as petulant as she was last year. She started hitting the sherry tonight and I had enough."

"Had an uncle like dat," Stan frowned. "Wandered out o' de pub one night and got ran over by one o' dem muggle taskies. Was a shock, shoor, bu' de way he was stumblin' 'bout, twas no wonder."

Translating 'taskies' to 'taxis' in his head, Harry patted the young man's arm. "Sorry to hear that."

"Oh, he was a ruddy goit, he was," Stan said scornfully. "Ne'er mist him. Joos be careful, a'ight Neville?"

"I will, thanks." Harry said with a wave as he got off the bus.

"Take 'er away, Ern!" he heard Stan shout, and with a bang the bus was gone.

His mood broken, Harry chuckled as he walked two blocks to Hermione's house. Finding it in the dark was tricky, and he'd never been there before, but all the post boxes on the houses had their numbers in brass.

"236," he mumbled, "236, where is it?"

Finally, he found it and walked up to the door. Dragging his trunk was a chore and he was grateful when it was mostly over. Checking his watch, he realized they made good time, and that was even after going through Cardiff twice. It was ten minutes to nine, so it wasn't too late. The language on the telly wasn't that coarse yet.

After he rung the bell, he plopped on his upended trunk. Mentally tired wasn't a good enough description. Holding his temper in check for so long was really really draining.

The door opened and he looked up to see Mrs. Granger looking at him with worry. "Yes? Wait, you're Harry, right? Jean said this might happen. Are you all right dear? Your relatives, right? What happened?"

Harry blinked a few times as he realized where Hermione got her blast-of-questions-in-one-breath from, so he missed the 'Jean' reference. "Hello, Mrs. Granger," he said with a wan smile. "Yeah. My other aunt came visiting and I just couldn't put up with her drinking sherry, and her dog. Uncle Vernon gets worse when his sister's around, too. It's like they play off each other or something. Hermione said you said I could come if they got bad, and…" he drifted of with a wave of his hand.

Sighing with a bit of worry on her face, Mrs. Granger nodded. Stepping close, she put a hand on his forehead, much to his surprise, then his shoulder. "Yes, you can. Come inside, dear."

"Harry's Here!" Mrs. Granger shouted as he was dragging his trunk in the front door.

"Really?" he heard Hermione say, then "Oh, dear." What was odd about it, was the fact her voice came from two different directions. One upstairs, the other somewhere off to his right.

There was a thunder that sounded like a herd of hippogriffs coming down the stair, then a blur before Harry was caught up in a near breaking hug. "Harry!" nearly deafened him in his ear. "What happened? Did they hurt you? Oh, I want to turn them all into frogs for treating you like yesterday's rubbish!"

Then something odd happened. Stepping into the front foyer, behind Hermione, was… Hermione? "We have a bit of explaining to do, I think," the other Hermione stated before biting her lip in concern.

Pulling away from the hug, that Hermione gave him the once over, looking for injuries. She was confused when Harry began feeling all around his scalp with both hands. "What's the matter?"

"Trying to find the bump on my head," Harry muttered.

The Hermione in front of him giggled, while the one by the door rolled her eyes and crossed her arms before saying, "Honestly, Harry. You're not seeing double. We're twins, as if it isn't obvious."

"Play nice," the Hermione close to him said to her double with a scowl. "You knew this was going to happen eventually."

The other one 'hmphed'. "Yes, well I was hoping it would be after we graduated."

"Could someone please tell me what's going on?" Harry said with a look of utter confusion on his face.

"It's true," Mrs. Granger said while ushering the three into the front room. "They're twins. My genius girls decided to alternate years, so they could keep up with their regular studies."

Harry was dumbfounded. "Does Professor McGonagall know about this?"

"Yes," came from both Hermiones. The one that hugged him sat him on the sofa and glommed to his side.

The other one sat on the other side with a sigh. "Forgive her, she hasn't seen you in over a year."

"I really don't mind," Harry mused. "So, why the deception? Did you two think I would blab? I'm not Ron, you know."

"Of course not!" the one hugging him said.

The other's haughty expressions softened. "He is a bit of a berk, isn't he?"

"He put you in that bathroom in first year!" the huggy one said.

"Yes, well he also was the one spreading fibs about Harry being the Heir of Slytherin," the other one said, "remember?"

Huggy hmphed. "He also blamed Crookie for eating Scabbers. Wish he had. Stupid Wormtail."

"Why are we friends with him again?" they both asked Harry.

Harry felt like he was in between a prettier set of the Weasley twins, what with the banter. "Uh, well. He was my first friend."

The one not hugging him 'tsked' at him. "Yes, well he beat me by about an hour."

"Never had friends before," Harry mumbled. "Didn't want to lose the first one I made." That said made the hug he was getting a lot tighter. To his sort of surprise, the other one joined her sister in hugging him.

"We'll never abandon you, Harry," he heard in stereo.

Harry wasn't sure about all of this, but he definitely thought his life just got a heck of a lot more complicated. It did explain why she was bossy one year and supportive the next, though. "Thank you."


A/N: Hermione Twins Challenge

With all the confusion between what Hermione's middle name is, Jean or Jane, I thought: Why not both? At home they go by their middle names, while at Hogwarts they go by their first name.

Obviously, I'm a Harmony shipper… so one or the other or both ending up with Harry would be brilliant.

This was set up as a pre-Fourth year, but fifth or sixth work too. Just thought it interesting if Jean and Jane helped Harry with the Tournament.

Somehow both Twins need to go to Hogwarts, for being discovered – either as a requirement by McGonagall or something else. Your choice.

Somewhere, the Bossy one needs to crack her knuckles while she and her sister back Harry when Draco comes for his regular taunts with his bookends. She being the one that punched the 'foul, loathsome little cockroach' in Third Year.

Since the Marauder's Map only shows first and last names, the fact that 'Hermione Granger' is shown in two places at once would be a good clue about 'Bartimus Crouch'.

It's my belief that Harry should take both to the Ball, upsetting several people... McGonagall for propriety, and Dumbledore for the Second Task.

Have fun everyone!