Thanks to E. Peterson and FandomFangirl100 for reviewing!

The Song of Battle Day (A Christmas Carol)

The base song was written by Tom Lehrer. If you have not heard the original, I highly encourage you to listen to it. Despite being written about 50 years ago it is still highly relevant.

This is the first update of 2015. Updates will run about once per day until Christmas day.

Sorry about the horrible rhymes, but I feel I would not be doing this song justice if I threw out the rhyme scheme or adapted it and I can't rhyme. Normally the rhymes are either absent or much less cheesy.

Battle time is here, by golly,

Disapproval would be folly.

Stick the orcs if they're too jolly,

Spill some blood and don't say when.

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Kill the Wizards, Men, and Cave Trolls,

Sound the bells, hear the drum rolls.

Death will take its lethal tolls,

As we go off to kill again.

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On Battle Day you will get sore,

Your fellow man you must abhor.

There's time to love him all the more

The other three hundred and sixty-four.

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Relations, sparing no expense, 'll

Fight you with an old utensil,

Or a matching pen and pencil.

("Poked him in the eye, how nice!")

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It doesn't matter how bloody it is,

Nor how painful the death throes,

History will lean to fear it,

Battle Day is not so nice.

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Hark, the Nazgûl Choir sings,

Shrieking of the Golden Ring.

Don't rest ye merry cave trolls,

May ye kill some elves today.

Nazgûl we have heard on high,

Tell us to go out and die!

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So, let the good and evil mingle,

Hail our dear old friend Witch Kingl,

Driving his fell beast across the sky.

Don't stand underneath when they fly by.

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Please review and feel free to suggest!