Nine Months
Chapter 50


He walks steadily down the hall, one hand holding onto the soup filled styrofoam containers, and the other hand holding onto a bag of breads and... dessert (in all Rikku-fashion). The brightly patterned carpet floor welcomes his footsteps after a long afternoon locked up in the conference room, finalizing plans for the Faction's temporary closure and reconstruction. Added security features for excavation sites throughout Spira and the revision of machine transportation protocols were also mandatory. And then after that, a meeting to discuss financial compensation for the individuals injured and the families of the dead. That'd been the hardest part of the day.

He has a sudden urge to blink as he nears the door to their room. He bangs against it with his elbow, calling out her name. He knows she'll jump off the bed and answer it immediately – poor thing hadn't eaten since breakfast.

As soon as she hears the knock, she turns down the volume of the spherevision. Within moments, she opens the door and smiles at him as he enters. "That smells really good... I'm starving." She glances into the hallway once before reaching for the food. "Are you done for today, then?"

He nods, closing the door behind him as she snatches the bags out of his hands. He lazily kicks his boots off into a corner. "What have you been doing while I was gone?" he asks, making his way to her.

She sits down at the little table in front of the window, opening the bag of baguettes. "Watching the sphere... Tidus came by for a bit to keep me company, he found some old footage from the pilgrimage he thought I'd like to see. Brother called... that sort of thing." She takes a bite out of the bread as she takes the top off of the soup. "Ruba's nurse called... She has an infection but don't worry. She says it's not a big deal, they're just giving her medication for it. She said she'll check in again in a few hours." She dunks the bread into the soup, thinking that she effectively hid the anxiety inside her. "How were the meetings?"

He forces a smile, "Just like it's been for the past few days." He takes a seat on the edge of the bed, sighing heavily and stretching his stiff neck. The smell of steamed vegetables fill the room. "They've stopped asking about you, me and Ruba at least." He frowns slightly, pressing his palms into the bed as he stares at the ground. "I miss her. I want to see her tomorrow."

"Me too. Maybe we can see her later tonight." She sighs and hurriedly chews more bread, sighing happily as the heat of the soup burns her throat. She doesn't like how he always manages to avoid giving her details on the meetings. And how everyone is rather vague around her. "So... what'd you talk about today, then? At the meetings."

"I told you," he starts, getting up. He walks in the direction of the bathroom. "Just about renovations for the Faction, and when we're bringing the employees back. Most of the debris has already been cleared up, and the damaged machina put aside for recycling." He turns on the sink to wash his face. "Stuff like that. Nothing special."

She eats quietly for a moment, listening to the splashes of water as he washes his face. With a sigh, she walks across the room to grab a can of soda from the small refrigerator in the corner. "Brother said he's going to help with the renovations."

Gippal chuckles softly. "Really? He didn't tell me that." He loosens the buttons of his shirt as he examines the bags under his eyes in the mirror. "I haven't even seen him yet. I want to thank him and Buddy for what they did in Bikanel."

"He's coming by tomorrow afternoon, he wants to visit. He's going to get a fat head if everyone keeps telling him they did a good job. Especially after Vydran was so happy." She grins for a moment. "But they deserve to get fat heads, I think." She dips some more bread into the soup, chewing thoughtfully.

"I think so too," he says, heading back into the bedroom. He sinks himself into a nearby sofa with a tired smile. "If it weren't for them, we wouldn't be talking about things like work schedules at the meetings right now."

"Yeah... I've heard rumors that the explosions planned for Bikanel might've been bigger than the one at Djose." She glances up at him pointedly, hoping she doesn't have to say that it's sad she has to listen to rumors when the authority on the situation sleeps in the same bed as she does each night. "So I guess if the rumors are true, we're lucky they caught it."

He nods, brushing his fingers against his chin as he stares dully out at the partially opened windows. "We're lucky they've been familiar with all the attacks on the island lately." He sighs, leaning his head against his palm. "People are blaming me, y'know," he mumbles. "For not investigating the attacks when they first started."

She takes one last bite of bread, putting the lid on the rest of the soup for later. With a sigh, she goes to join him on the couch. "What was there to investigate? Sabotage? That's always happened, why should this have been any different?"

He takes her wrist into his hand as she approaches, pulling her down to his lap. "I should've done something at least," he says tiredly. "Something more than just let your father take care of it. It's my Faction after all... What Buddy and Brother did, exposing those guys and their planned attack… that's something I should've done months ago."

"Maybe. But they had an awfully big clue about what to look for, Buddy and Brother..." She shrugs. "I don't know. Even when the machines I'd fixed ended up broken down again while I was making those trips to Bikanel, I had no idea who to look for. They were too clean about it."

He leans back against the soft fabric of the sofa, closing his eyes. "I guess so." It's easy, he thinks, for her to brush it off like it was a simple accident. Like it was something he had no control over and shouldn't feel guilty for. If she knew who in particular was hurt by his careless decisions, maybe she'd act differently. Maybe she'd blame him too…

She curls up in his lap, sighing as her still sore muscles protest a bit. With a sigh, she leans her head onto his uninjured shoulder, gently tapping a rhythm onto his chest. "Even if you had investigated it earlier and this had still happened you'd feel the same way you do now. Doing something earlier wouldn't have changed the fact that it happened."

He sighs a little in amusement. 'Cause she's right. and knows him well. And she's making him feel better but a part of him doesn't think he should be. The part of him that's had to look the families of the victims in the eye... and tell them he's sorry. Tell them, he takes the blame.

He fiddles with the ends of her hair, leaning his head against hers slightly. "People don't see it like that, Rikku. They think if I had investigated it earlier, I could've prevented it. I had the opportunity, and I didn't take it." He suddenly thinks back to a certain conversation he had overheard between two local reporters last night. A certain conversation about him, and where his priorities had gone during the past couple of months. He resists the urge to tighten his fist and make Rikku notice his anger. There's no reason that she should have to be hurt like he was by that conversation.

"Well, if people don't think that you're hurting because of all this, too, then they're crazy. If you could've prevented it, you would have. You kept the business going. You did your job." She sighs and leans up, kissing his jawline softly.

He glances up at her as she pulls away. "Part of my job is to ensure my workers' safety." He sighs, turning his head. "Most of them have been understanding. I've given them all time off, but some of them are down there helping to clean up the mess." He smiles faintly. "Lianna said she'd still work for me even if the entire temple blew up under my watch."

She smiles back, reaching for the controller on the little side table next to the couch. "If the people at the temple don't blame you, then that's all that matters. We're the only ones who experienced it all, anyway, you know? Lianna was outside when it happened. There was nothing you could do, and none of us saw it coming..." She shrugs as she turns the volume back up on the sphere. "Time off will be good for everyone. Healing time. When we all get back, then we can get on with our lives. It's what we do, you know?"

A little windblown man is talking on the sphere, and Rikku quiets long enough to notice that he's standing in front of the Kilikan outpost of the Youth League. " - the twelve key suspects behind last week's explosion at the headquarters of the Machine Faction arrived earlier this afternoon, and are currently under heavy surveillance inside. We've received no comment from Mevyn Nooj on the subject. Even though these men are in custody, we are still urging anyone with information relating to the incident and people involved in the organization of this crime to come forward-"

Gippal nods toward the screen. "Lucil's probably not letting Nooj speak. I met with him yesterday and we spoke to Baralai. They think we should have them make a public apology for what they've done." He turns to her. "The explosion may have triggered more racial feelings elsewhere in Spira."

She stares at the screen with a hard face. "Is it wrong of me to want to put them all in a secluded place, put a bomb somewhere and tell them to find it and disable it or pay the consequence for their actions?" She shrugs, hoping he won't answer her. "You didn't tell me you'd spoken to Nooj. Has everyone involved been tracked down, then?"

"More or less," he says with a casual nod. "We're sure the twelve are the ones directly involved." He points to the screen as their faces show up. "Some of them were at the temple that very day. Remember how there were a number of workers we didn't recognize?" He leans back shaking his head. "I'm gonna be more careful this time around, and make it mandatory for everyone to wear their ID badge on their uniform when they're working."

She points at the screen as one pops up. "That's the guy that set it off. The bald one. He almost ran into me while he was running away." She shakes her head, too, angry. "The ID's... we should make them special somehow... so we can check that they're authentic. Like... you can only get inside if you have an authentic card or badge or whatever."

He nods. "I should make more areas around and inside the temple restricted from the public… But I still want people to feel free to drop by and visit. The temple's always been an open place for all kinds of people simply interested in machines."

She nods and sighs, looking out the window at the water of Luca Harbor. "The bomb was already inside one of the machines shipped from Bikanel... the storehouses there should have limited access only." She points at the screen "We're going to have to check everyone who deals in transporting the machines."

He hesitates for a moment before nodding in agreement. He then turns his head up to look at her, smiling as he thinks about how just a few days ago, she looked like a pale, sweaty mess in the hospital. "Don't worry about it, okay? You just got better only recently; I don't wanting you to start feeling all stressed out like me."

"I'll be stressed out about it no matter what, Gippal. Knowing more about the situation helps." She shrugs. "I've got to find out and process it sooner or later... worrying is pretty natural, I think."

He sighs, leaning his head against her shoulder as he stares at the screen. The voices and words he hears pass through his ears indistinguishably. He's heard them all week. Heard and seen and spoken of the same topic day after day. "This'll all be over soon anyway. Those guys will make an apology, spend some years behind bars..." He's quiet for a short moment, deciding not to tell her what punishment he'd personally rather them have. "And you and I and Ruba'll be back in Djose. Business as usual."

She switches the channel a few times, settling on the one station that decided to put the news on an hour later than everyone else. There's a woman in a kitchen, chopping up onions while explaining how to make vegetable stew. And even though it's almost too normal, it's better than listening to interviews and rumors and suspected illicit activities. "I guess so," she says softly, leaning her head against his as they get comfortable on the couch.

He presses his lips against her neck lightly, gingerly taking in her scent as a hissing sound from the screen spreads throughout their quiet room like a soft mist. It's been a while since they've had a moment to themselves like this, and for the time being, it's as close to 'normal' as they can get. He nods his head slightly toward the direction of the hissing pot and chopped vegetables as he slides his hands around her waist.

"You paying attention? There's no potatoes," he mumbles against her skin.

She nods absently, turning her face away from the screen to look around at him. "Yeah... what kind of a veggie stew is that, with no potatoes?" She scoffs before grinning, leaning against him.

"Not any stew you'll be making," he replies with a small smile.

"Exactly." She leans her head onto his shoulder, glancing back at him as she lightly kisses his jawline.

He shakes his head dully. "I hit my chin this morning while cleaning up in Djose. It still hurts a little."

She plants a chaste kiss on his chin, lightly so she doesn't apply any pressure. "I'm sorry... How'd you hit it?" she asks, reaching up to fix his slightly rumpled eyepatch.

He laughs lightly in slight embarrassment. "Kinda tripped a little on the stairs. The clean up crew just left the garbage by the steps, I didn't know. My sides were jabbed a little too. Luckily none of the cameramen were nearby," he explains. He bends his knee partially so that she slides a bit forward toward him. "Or you. You would've laughed all day if you saw."

She grins, imagining it. Relaxing in the suddenly calm atmosphere, listening to the hiss of vegetables as they hit steaming water in the background. "Yeah, I probably would have. Was it a feet-fly-out-from-under-you type trip, or a fall-and-roll type?"

He thinks for a moment before giving her a slight kiss on the nose. "It was more of a fall-and-get-right-back-up type." He grins as he rests his hands comfortably at her sides. "Y'know, unlike when you fall."

She shakes her head with a little bit of a smile, holding her tongue. Because she almost told him that sometimes, you can't get right back up when you fall. She wants to distract him, and a comment like that will only take his mind back to the explosion. "That's not nice."

"Well, depends on where I'm standing and what time of day it is when you fall." He smirks. "For instance, the view from behind early in the morning when all you've got on is my shirt is quite nice."

She's speechless for a moment, and she looks at him with shock on her face. "Did you really just say that?" she laughs, wiggling a bit in his grip.

He looks at her with a straight face, and then narrows his gaze. "Hey, I catch your eyes lookin' where a lady shouldn't be lookin' all the time," he accuses.

"Who says a lady shouldn't be looking there, hm?" she retorts, cocking an eyebrow as she tries not to let a grin reach her lips.

He shrugs slightly with his good shoulder. "You'd think she'd do something after lookin' all the time. Or else it just becomes insulting."

"She's done stuff before. Maybe she's trying to be... appreciative. Not insulting." She winks.

He shakes his head slightly. "...Guys would rather have the stuff."

With a slightly exasperated sigh, she kisses his neck softly. "Like what kind of stuff?"

He shrugs slightly with a soft smile. "You're the Love Coupon author. You can be creative."

She groans against his skin. "Not fair, not fair, not fair..."

"Hm… doing it not fair to you or to me?" He grins a bit mischievously. "Didn't know that kind of bondage stuff's been on your mind, Princess."

"Nothing's on my mind. I'm not in a creative mood... but you obviously are, with your bondage talk, so it's your turn!" She gives him an innocent grin. Hoping slightly that whatever he chooses to be creative with isn't too creative because she's not exactly sure if she's up for much creativity yet. She kisses his neck again. "Pick your poison."

He sighs in amusement. "Are you threatening me?"

She shakes her head no. "Naw... I wouldn't do that. Threats are a turn-off."

"Ah." He frowns slightly. "Bummer. Things were just gettin' interesting."

She looks at him quizzically, catching his bottom lip between her teeth for a moment before grinning. "So you like threats then?"

He leans up, smirking. "But you're not feeling creative, remember?"

She sighs into his lips and looks up at him through her eyelashes. "True... but that doesn't mean I'm not feeling anything," she says, smiling a little.

He lets his fingers fiddle absently with the end of her shirt. He can't deny that there's a little voice of concern that's starting to rise inside of him. Concern that he may be pushing her too far too fast. He tries his best not to let it show and risk spoiling the mood too much. "Tell me what you're feeling, then," he says, releasing the fabric from his hands. "I'm fine with whatever you decide."

She nuzzles him lightly, silently thanking him for understanding why she's not feeling so creative at the moment. "I'm feeling like I want to be kissed. And held. And like I want you to relax, too, 'cause you've been too stressed this week." She kisses him softly again. "And maybe a little more. But not too much."

He nods, cupping the side of her face with his hand and gives her that kiss she wants. "Don't worry about me," he says in a low voice.

She nods and whispers against his lips. "Thanks, mujan... " She giggles a bit as the woman on the television pours some more ingredients into the pot with a loud exclamation. She looks up at his face and slips a finger beneath the strap of the eye patch because it's still a little rumpled. "I'll tell you if I'm not comfortable with something. Promise."

He tries to smile, but can't really after that statement. He feels guiltier than anything for pushing her into a corner like this. "It's okay. We can come back to this another day, and you can continue with your 'looking' if you want."

She shakes her head persistently. "No, no... I want to take advantage of the time we've got with no distractions," she says softly. "I doubt we'll have that kind of time for much longer, you know... when we get home, we'll be busy taking care of the baby and fixing up the temple, and-" she shrugs a little. "We have now. So we should use it."

He leans his head to the side, smiling lightly as he nuzzles his head in the crook of her neck. "We'll make time," he tells her.

She smiles wide, letting her fingers go back to tapping on his chest. "Good. But I still think we should use the now." She readjusts herself, leaning her head against his bad shoulder very gently, so she won't hurt him.

"Well..." He turns her head up to look at him with the nudging of his nose. "How do you feel about a shower? With my bad chin and injured shoulder, I might need a little help..."

She giggles a little and nods, kissing his chin lightly again. "A shower sounds nice. Hot water might make me feel a little better, too." She kisses his lips again, stretching her leg out a little.

The sound of steaming vegetables is instantly replaced by the sounds of waves, rain, and a reporter's voice. Familiar sounds that distracts her from kissing him as she sits up. Her foot rests near the channel changer on the end of the couch, and she frowns a little as she reaches to move it and change the channel back to the innocent cooking. Away from the dark images of Djose temple that are flashing across the screen.

"-ficial reports have been released with the capture of the suspects. Casualties rest at forty-seven injured, six dead. Damages to the temple and the Machine Faction rest at 38,000 gil. The Machine Faction is scheduled to re-open its doors within the next two-and-a-half we-"

Rikku feels like she's frozen. Because two words struck her like ice. "Six?" she asks quietly, turning to face him with wide eyes. "I... there were only two. Dashar... in surgery. They couldn't get the shrapnel out. And Lehlane. Head trauma. That's what they said. Just two."

Gippal sits up abruptly, frowning as he stares at the headlines flashing across the screen. It was only this morning that he authorized the release of details regarding the explosion, including the number of casualties. And only this morning was he informed by the hospital that five had passed away in all.

Gently planting his feet on the ground he wonders if he should call the hospital... and find out who didn't pull through. But Rikku's sudden rapid breaths and clear panic convinces him to deal with her first. Cautiously, he turns his head and glances at her. So much for the little fun moment to themselves.

"I couldn't tell you at the time. With you in recovery and Ruba's birth... and the doctors said you should rest..." He turns his gaze down to stare at the ground. "I'm sorry, Rikku. It was just so soon after the explosion... I didn't want to stress you out."

She rests her elbows on her knees, covering her face with her hands. She wishes she could be angry with him for not telling her right away, but he was just trying to do what was healthy for her, for Ruba. And she can't be angry at him for that. "Who?" she asks, her voice quiet as the reporter continues to babble about the explosion. "The girl that was near me wasn't moving," she says guiltily. "I didn't even see her face." She shakes her head, staring at the floor through her fingers.

"I don't know who was near you. I... was too focused on you that day." The words feel wrong on his tongue… The conversation between the two local reporters… The distraught eyes of the victims' families… A single flower on a good man's bloody body. Gippal closes his eye impulsively, as if that would block the memories out. "Are you sure you want to know?"

She remembers that day… how he was crying and holding her tight and calling her name. And how she was too scared to worry about anything but the baby. She feels guilty. "...yes." She keeps her head in her hands, unwilling to look at anything but her fingers and the floor.

He sighs, hesitating for a moment as he tries to figure out a way to break the news to her. He can feel her elbow slightly on his leg, and hates how she's trying hard to prepare herself for losing four more of her friends in a matter of seconds. At least for him, he's had time to get used to the idea and say his goodbyes.

"Ioho... and Airine... They... Ioho was..." He doesn't think describing their last moments would be doing her any good, nor him. There's no reason he should share unnecessary details to corrupt her mind with gruesome details like his is. "I only knew of five this morning, Dashar and Lehlane included... The sixth probably just passed away this afternoon."

She shudders, biting her lip hard to try and keep herself from crying. But she can't. And she wishes she could feel numb and that it didn't feel real, but Gippal's voice is too grave for it to not be real. She looks up, staring at the colorful bedspread. "Who's the fifth?"

He doesn't want to tell her. He doesn't want to tell her at all. Not when she's looking like this. When she's asking him with as shaky voice as this and muffled attempts to hold in her sobs. He wraps his arms around her from behind and pulls her toward him. He can feel her trembling underneath his grip, feel her realization start to emerge as he prolongs his silence. Her realization that the fifth is someone she knew well and cared about. "He's..."

It's not fair, he thinks, that every time they mentioned his name in the past they were so casual about it. Oh, he only blew up another machine today. Or another fire started in one of the workrooms because of him. And it'd be amusing and they would think it was cute because it was always assumed he made it out perfectly fine.

"He died instantly, I'm pretty sure... He didn't suffer."

She doesn't really like how he's holding her comfortingly, because that means it's going to be really bad. It's already really bad, but she wasn't close with the others. She wasn't involved in their lives. And the way he's holding her makes her think that she was involved in this one's.

"Who, Gippal?" She asks, shuddering in his arms. Turning in them so that she can look at him as he says it.

With a deep breath he presses his head against hers, forcing her gaze to the ground with him. He can't say it when she looks at him like that. Like all the families had looked at him when it came time to reveal the names of the victims. A look that reminded him how much of this tragedy was blamed on him. With a soft voice in a bare whisper he says, "Z-Zy."

She shakes her head again, refusing to accept it. Because he's always fine. A few minor burns, here and there. A joke to brush it off. He's always okay. But Gippal's holding onto her, and... he never stopped in to check on her. Like Yelina, and Lianna. Never came in to joke about an explosion he didn't cause. And she doesn't know why she didn't think about that before. Why she didn't look around the hospital for his room when she had the chance. Wonders why she just assumed he was fine, because it was just another explosion, after all, and those were his specialty.

"He was going to ask Kria to dinner. And he asked me and Lianna to find out what kind of flowers she liked," she whispers, horrified.

Gippal thinks back to the girl he saw hovering over Zy's body, her face covered in messy tears as she laid in his hands the flowers he'd laid in hers just a few short moments ago. Blinking rapidly, Gippal buries his head a little deeper into his girlfriend's hair. He can't think of anything to say to her. It just doesn't seem like an appropriate time to try to lighten things up.

She doesn't try to wipe the tears from her cheeks. Instead, she hugs Gippal very tightly, suddenly feeling much more appreciative that he managed to walk out of Djose. Managed to avoid stretchers and white sheets, and blood. He could've been like Zy. Like their friend, who is now just a fond and painful memory. She thinks about how she and Zy laughed and talked about completely stupid things while decorating for Gippal's surprise party. And about how she just doesn't want to believe that he's gone.

"What about Dses?" she asks quietly, not moving her head from his shoulder.

"I spoke with his grandmother today." He sighs. "She's taking care of him for the time being, but she's... Dses is still a little kid, and his grandmother isn't in very good health..." He tightens his fist as he thinks about how the old woman had told him Dses was sulking in his room ever since the explosion. "Everything's happened so suddenly for them... She's not sure what to do to get him to eat regularly again."

She exhales a bit loudly at that, shaking her head and biting hard on her lip. "Poor baby..." she whispers, pulling away slightly. Her eyelids feel heavy from her tears. "I... We'll..." She shrugs a bit, blinking her eyes swiftly so that she can see clearly. "We should go and see who else. At the hospital."

He shakes his head hesitantly. "It's quite late now. I can go downstairs and make a call... We can visit in the morning."

She nods, glancing at the table. Realizing when she sees her abandoned soup that she's still hungry. That it's a blessing she can still feel anything, when others that were so close to her can't. "I'll come down with you. We can check on the little one, too." She offers him a weak smile.

He returns it just as faintly as he pats the side of her waist. "Get dressed then... And bring a sweater... I kinda feel in the mood for a walk afterwards outside, if you don't mind," he says, staring blankly at the wall.

She nods, sniffling a bit as she gets up and heads over to her travel bag. Gippal had brought it for her on one of his visits to the temple. She wipes at her eyes with the back of her hand, taking a deep breath as she reaches into the bag for some fresh clothing.

She ducks into the bathroom to change, taking the opportunity to splash some cold water onto her puffy, tearstained face. She looks at herself in the mirror once she's dressed, and she doesn't really notice that the long sleeved shirt and cloth pants she's wearing are now too big for her. She just notices that she looks tired, and defeated. She doesn't look long.

Gippal looks the same way, she thinks, as she walks back into the room. He's staring at the one wall in the room that doesn't have a typical hotel-style painting on it. The one that's empty.

"Let's go, then."


A/N: As you may have noticed or predicted from our chapter titles, this story is coming to an end. An estimated 5-7 chapters are left, most of them will be to tie loose ends in the story, with a few surprises thrown in here and there ;) Hope we can keep your interest till then!

Thank you everyone for bringing this story to 600 amazing reviews!