A/N: Happy New Year! Hope your 2018 is off to a great start.

My goal is to get back to a more regular update schedule, which is looking like it'll be monthly. This particular oneshot has no season 2 spoilers. However, due to a weird coincidence, you might get more out of this if you've seen Glaciator. This is unintentional, but just wanted to give you all a heads up.

Also, you can now find me on Tumblr as splitting-infinities. Follow me there for chapter teasers and such, if that's your jam.

Enjoy this chapter, and thank you so much for reading, as always!


Liar, Liar: To get out of taking Chloe to a dance, Adrien tells his friends he's dating Ladybug. There's just one thing he didn't count on...Marinette has the power to make his lie come true.


Adrien didn't have a date to the winter formal.

It was tradition for the girls to ask the guys, and Nino was on a mission to set Adrien up. He was convinced that finding a date for a famous model wasn't going to be that hard. But Adrien had quietly turned down the five girls who had already been sent his way. Nino brought this up as they sat on the front steps after school on Friday waiting for Adrien's limousine, and he wasn't happy.

"I don't get it, why won't you take one of them?"

Adrien shaded his eyes from the setting sun. He could see Alya and Marinette sitting a few feet below them on the steps. "I don't know. I just want the right partner."

"What's wrong with just taking someone to have a good time?"

"I want to go with the right person. And if I can't find them, it's fine. I don't mind going alone."

"I don't know, man. From what Alya's told me, some girls might take issue with that," Nino said, raising an eyebrow. "You're...how do I put this...you're the Fitzwilliam Darcy to everyone's Elizabeth Bennet. You're good looking, rich, secretive, kind, and unattainable. If you go alone you'll start a riot of people saying it's unfair you have all that awesomeness and no one you want to share it with."

There was a brief confused pause before Adrien decided to accept this strange comparison without question. "Just…quit telling girls to ask me to formal; I don't like having to turn them down."

"You don't have to turn them down."

"Nino..." Adrien complained.

His friend let out a frustrated sigh. "Ugh, what are we going to do with you?"

Their conversation was interrupted by Chloe, who waltzed down the steps and sat down in between them. There wasn't really room, so both boys had to scoot over on the step to accommodate her.

"Hi, A-dreamy. Sup, Nino."

"Hi, Chloe," they responded in monotone. She was wearing expensive perfume, which Adrien had come to learn always preceded trouble.

This time was no different. Chloe wasted no time. "Adrien, do you want to go to the winter formal with me?"

Below them, he saw Alya and Marinette perk up. They were listening. Sweat began to bead under the collar of his shirt. He looked over Chloe's bony shoulder at Nino, asking with his eyes: Did you put her up to this? Nino shook his head frantically.

Adrien turned his attention back to Chloe. "Uh, look, I'm sorry, but I don't think so."

"Why not?" Her demeanor soured, and Adrien felt himself gulping for air. He hated rejections-he didn't know how to do them properly. He usually lied to fans when they asked him out. "I have a girlfriend," he'd say, and then he'd run away before they could ask questions or remember all the fan magazines reported he was single. It probably wouldn't work as well with someone he knew, but it was worth a shot.

"I have a girlfriend," he tried, and behind Chloe, he saw Nino facepalm. Below them, he saw Marinette frown and exchange a glance with Alya. Her stricken expression stirred something in his stomach.

"Who is this girlfriend? How come no one knows about her?" Chloe demanded, gripping her striped purse as if preparing to whack him with it.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhh-"

"You're lying, aren't you?"

"No, Chloe, it's true...I uh...well, she's very private."

"Oh, really?" Her expression was murderous.

Nino's repeated facepalming didn't have to tell Adrien this conversation was taking an epic nosedive. He made a last attempt, abandoning all pretense of believability.

"Yes. Because…I'm dating Ladybug."

Alya and Marinette turned around in their seats to gape at him. Nino slammed his hand against his forehead so hard that he might have given himself a concussion. Chloe looked heartbroken. Nathanael, who was descending the stairs behind them when he heard the news, dropped his case of pens and brushes in surprise. The case cracked open, and the utensils rolled down the steps to cascade against Chloe's back. She grabbed the brushes irritably and held them up. Nathanael took them without a word as he walked down the stairs, their fingers brushing in the exchange. He didn't stick around to hear the rest of this new gossip.

Chloe lined Adrien back up in her crosshairs, brimming with questions. "Ladybug?" she demanded.

Mercifully, the limousine pulled to a stop at the curb, and Adrien beat a hasty retreat before anything else could make this lie worse. He slammed the car door shut behind him and leaned his head against the cold window.

"I'm such a coward," he moaned. Gorilla just flipped the turn signal and didn't say anything.

Adrien watched his friends' perplexed faces as the car pulled away, but then he saw the strangest thing. Marinette, who before had looked somewhat crushed at the news he was dating someone was now...smiling.


That night, Chat Noir and Ladybug battled a store clerk-turned-akuma for two hours. They traipsed through all five floors of a gigantic department store, and by the end, there were scattered pearls and beads from broken necklaces on the floor, decapitated mannequins, and heaps of clothes. Each of the heroes had made a mess of their costumes. Chat had the remains of an anti-theft ink explosion device leaking from his shoulder like blood. Ladybug was covered in feathers from a burst down pillow, and they were stuck in her hair. Allergic as ever, Chat sneezed uncontrollably until his partner lifted her yoyo to the sky and declared, "Miraculous Ladybug!"

It worked its magic as always, setting right overturned shoe racks and repairing broken glass. Even their costumes were reset to their normal states and Chat could breathe easy again. Once the mess had been cleaned up and everything set back to normal, he decided it was time for some damage control of his own.

He waited until they retreated from the crowded store to the far corner of the third floor, where they could each take a private dressing room and detransform.

"Hey, Ladybug, there's something you should know," he said, as they each entered a stall and slid the locks shut.

"Yeah?"

"I heard a rumor you're dating Adrien Agreste, and didn't want that to take you by surprise."

"You're sweet, kitty, but I've got this covered. Adrien and I talked about it and we have decided it's fine if people know we're together."

Chat slid down against the wall. She talked to Adrien? But Adrien is me. And that definitely did NOT happen. But then why would she cover for me and tell Chat Noir she's dating me? How could she even know, if in the one who started the rumor? It's not even on the Ladyblog yet!

Did I make this happen with my mind?

Apparently the silence was noted by Ladybug, because she said, "Chat, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, just surprised. So the rumor is true?"

"Yes. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, it was pretty…uh…sudden. I hope you're not mad."

"No, not mad..."

"Maybe this is good for us. I know you flirt with me a lot for fun, but I don't know how Adrien will feel about us being that way around each other," she said, as their miraculouses beeped in alarm. They both had one minute.

Even though Chat knew it was his own fault, her words still stung more than he thought they would. But he couldn't tell Ladybug the flirting wasn't just for fun. It was real. He was always real with her. In that moment, he made another decision that would most likely be questionable in hindsight. Two could play this game. If she was going to lie, he'd lie more.

"Oh, I already have a girlfriend. Her name is Chloe. Her dad's the mayor."

There was absolute silence in the other stall. A flash of light told him she was no longer Ladybug.

"Do you know her?" he asked as his own costume disappeared. He shoved a piece of Camembert into Plagg's mouth before the kwami could say anything sassy. "I mean, other than when we have rescued her before."

The response was icy. "Oh, I know Chloe. I'm surprised at you, Chat, I didn't think you were into the prissy drama queen type."

Clearly he'd miscalculated something. She sounded mad. She wasn't supposed to be mad, just surprised.

"There's more to her than meets the eye," he said defensively. Chloe may be mean sometimes, but she was still his friend.

"I sure hope so. Get someone who deserves you, Chat." She left the stall and slammed the door behind her.

Plagg swallowed the last of his cheese and remarked dryly, "Well...that went well."


That evening, as Marinette walked home, she tried to un-weave the tangled web her love life had become. She fed Tikki a cookie from her purse, and took the long way home to puzzle this out.

According to Adrien, Ladybug was his girlfriend. As Ladybug, she knew that was untrue.

How had Chat heard about their fake relationship? She'd asked Alya not to post it to the Ladyblog. News couldn't spread that fast without the most trusted Ladybug channel to give it a boost of plausibility. Perhaps he'd been there, listening to Adrien, as Marinette had been. Did that mean they knew each other in real life? It was possible. She'd have to come back to that.

Why did she tell Chat the rumor about her and Adrien was true? She wished she hadn't been so impulsive. There was no good reason for her to do it other than because she could. That wasn't like her at all. Hot shame simmered on her cheeks.

But this wasn't even the worst part.

She hadn't been expecting to hear Chat's confession that Chloe was his girlfriend. She couldn't imagine a worse pairing, but why would Chat lie? Unless he knew she was lying…

The news had made her feel jealous, which she wasn't sure she understood.

Unbidden, a thought rose to the surface. Maybe Chat was Adrien. Then this lie would have backfired spectacularly on both of them, but it would at least be fixable. As nice as that would be, it was impossible. She laughed off the ridiculous notion, more concerned with the cringe-worthy thought of Chat and Chloe on a date.

This distracted her for several minutes, until she found herself approaching Chloe's father's hotel. In front of the gilded front doors, Nathanael sat with his back to her outside on the stone bench, and sitting next to him was none other than Chloe herself.

Keen to listen in, Marinette immediately sought cover behind a large hedge positioned near the bench. Maybe Chloe would say something about Chat. Part of her was appalled at her invasion of their privacy; what did it matter to her who Chat dated? Why did she care? She shouldn't. Right?

Chloe pulled a paintbrush out of her pocket and gave it to Nathanael. There was a tenderness in the gesture, and Marinette would never have believed it if she hadn't seen it herself.

"You left before I could give this back to you. It must have fallen out when you dropped all your supplies on the steps after school," Chloe explained.

"Thanks." After a moment, Nathanael added, "Did you really call me just to make me come all the way here so you could give this to me yourself? You could have sent it with one of your hotel servant minions. Or given it to me at school on Monday. Or loaded it into a crossbow and shot me with it. Any or all of those would be a believable character move for you."

There was a pause, and Chloe blinked shyly.

"Well, actually, it's...because...I..."

She leaned forward, as if to kiss him. Nathanael, bewildered but pleased, leaned in too. Marinette couldn't believe her eyes. Was she cheating on Chat with Nathanael?

But then Chloe pulled back, her face twisted into a smirk. "Loser, I can't believe you fell for that!"

He frowned, hurt. Marinette clenched her fists in outrage, but then the unbelievable happened. Nathanael shook his head in disappointment and replied, "Chloe, you're a terrible liar. If you're too nervous to kiss me, all you had to do was say so. Because I'm not afraid to kiss you first."

And he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. Chloe, instead of reeling backward, froze for a moment, her eyes bugging, and then let them slowly close. She leaned forward and kissed him back.

Marinette was rooted to the spot, hands clapped over her mouth.

When the two of them broke apart, Chloe regarded him with shocked elation. "Don't think this changes anything, I still hate you."

Nathanael picked up her hand and kissed it. "Sure you do," he said sweetly. "But you've also met your match. If I haven't won your heart yet, I will, Chloe. Pick out your dress for winter formal; you're my date."

Chloe gave him an entranced smile, as if she couldn't help herself. "Okay," she murmured. Then, she snapped herself out of it and tried to sound like her normal, irritable self. "Ugh, fine. Whatever. If I even show up."

Nathanael beamed and stood to leave.

Marinette, feeling much like a blindfolded raccoon trying to run through six lanes of traffic, fled the hedge and sprinted back the way she came. She didn't stop until she was back in her room, sweaty and out of breath.

"What just happened what just happened? What, what, WHAT?" She collapsed onto her bed.

"I don't think I can answer that," said Tikki, floating out of her bag and brushing a few cookie crumbs from the side of her mouth. "I couldn't see anything in that bag."

"I can't believe this. Chloe is either cheating on Chat, or Chat lied and they aren't dating. But why would he lie?"

"You could ask him."

"You're right. And I will."

Seconds later, Ladybug called Chat. By some miracle, he picked up at once. "My Lady?"

"Chloe's cheating on you," she blurted. She stared at the fluffy throw pillow she was shredding in her nervous hands as she talked. "I just saw her kissing Nathanael. I told you she wasn't good for you and now, do you see? Who do you want me to beat up? Or whose do you want me to beat up first? That's a better question."

Instead of distraught weeping, as she expected for something this big, Chat laughed.

"I guess that's me caught in a lie, then."

"You mean you're not dating Chloe?"

"Exactly. I lied. Please don't beat anyone up for my honor, although I appreciate that you'd do that for me. I'd do it for you."

She threw the pillow and it made a satisfying smack against the wall. "Why? Why lie to me?"

There was a profound pause, as if Chat was doing some soul searching. Eventually, he sighed. "Because it would be unfair to tell you that I still have feelings for you if you are interested in someone else. Instead, I made up a girlfriend to make you jealous because I still want you. I'm not sure that was the better decision, in the end."

"Oh." She wasn't expecting him to be so blunt.

"Yeah. But our friendship means more to me. I realize that now. I want to fix this."

"I feel the same way, Chat. I'm sorry I hurt you."

"I'm sorry I hurt you too. And I'm sorry for doing it again just now by telling you how I really feel. But it's the truth, and sometimes that's better."

"The truth is better..." she mused, then jolted upright. "Uh, Chat, I need to go talk to Adrien. Right now. Talk to you later!"

She hung up before Chat could say, "See you sooner than you think. Plagg, claws in."


The only times Adrien ever used his balcony, he jumped off of it to leap into the night as Chat Noir. But tonight marked the first time he planned to use it to break up with a fake girlfriend.

It was the right thing to do. He didn't want Ladybug to have to pretend they were dating, and things had gotten out of hand far too quickly when he'd said Chat was dating Chloe. He hadn't realized how much it had hurt Ladybug, and awkwardness didn't suit them. They were a team, and they were better than this.

However, true to her good heart, she beat him to the punch and broke up with him first.

Ladybug's feet hadn't even fully touched the cement floor before she declared, "Adrien, I can't be your fake girlfriend."

He pretended to be surprised. "You knew?"

"I know you told people we were a couple, and I went along with it because I thought it might be funny for a while, but it backfired for reasons I won't really go into, and I need to ask you not to keep telling people we are a couple."

"Oh," he said, relieved. "That's what I was going to say too. It was a bad idea. I panicked and lied to avoid hurting someone's feelings, and it was a terrible decision. I didn't realize how many people were going to get hurt. You, me, Chat, Marinette, Chloe…"

"I'm starting to think Chloe will be fine. I saw her kissing Nathanael."

Adrien again had to pretend to be surprised. "What? That's shocking. Shocking!"

"But thank you for trying to make things right."

"It's the least I can do. This got complicated very quickly."

"Yeah, it did." Ladybug fidgeted with the string of her yoyo for a moment. "Um, not to make this more uncomfortable, but I need you to know…I have to tell Chat we talked. He thinks I'm dating you, and it upset him. Apparently he heard the rumor, told me about it, and I confirmed it as a joke. But I ended up making a mess of our friendship and have to fix this."

"No, yeah, I get it. I want to fix it too."

She started to spin her yoyo, a sign she was ready to take off again. "Well, I don't know why you chose me as your fake girlfriend, but I'm flattered. I'm sure whoever you end up dating will be a lucky girl."

"I'm still holding out hope someday it might be you."

She laughed and hopped onto the balcony ledge. "You sound like Chat."

Adrien had already made two very bad decisions today, and he figured he may as well make it three. He might regret it later, but sometimes the truth really was better. "That's because I am Chat Noir. There was no rumor. Chat knew because I knew."

He stepped onto the ledge beside her and held out his hand to show her his ring.

From the look on her face, he'd miscalculated again. She looked mutinous. Why?

Before he could register what was happening, she'd taken his hand in hers and pulled them both down from the ledge to the safety of the balcony again. They stood mere inches apart, noses almost touching.

"How could you tell me who you are? You know we're supposed to keep those a secret," she hissed. He noted she was still holding his hand.

"The truth is better. I don't want what happened to us today to happen again because we were too afraid to tell the truth. You know who I am. You know I have feelings for you, but you also know I value your friendship more. Your decision about your own identity is still yours alone. But now you have some more context. Which, given your reactions to Chat dating Chloe and me dating you, might be necessary if you have feelings for me too-"

"Oh, shut up, Adrien, you know I already do!" she said, and pressed her lips to his. Adrien didn't have time to protest, even if he'd wanted to.


After a while, Adrien and Ladybug sat out on the balcony, facing each other in wrought iron patio chairs. Most of their time together was spent in shocked silence or in a daze.

"I can't believe we kissed," he murmured after a while. "Are we going to talk about this?"

"I'd apologize, but I'm not really that sorry," Ladybug blushed.

"I mean, same."

"But now I feel guilty because you were honest with me and I still need to be honest with you. The reason I kissed you has a lot to do with finding out you're Chat Noir."

He shifted in his seat. "What do you mean?"

"Well, we know each other. You know me when I'm not Ladybug."

"Oh?"

"And all this time, I had no idea. And then when I found out you are Chat, it occurred to me that we've been making this so much harder for ourselves. You need to know who I am now. Because I think you'll find things are far less complicated than we thought."

"Okay," Adrien blinked, not sure if he was following. "So tell me."

"I'm. I'm. I'm...Marinette."

Adrien jumped out of his chair at once. "I KNEW IT! Agh I'm so happy!"

"You knew!?"

"Well, no," he blushed, and sat back down. "But I'm kind of relieved. If I could have picked anyone to be Ladybug, it probably would be you."

She looked down modestly. "So you're not disappointed?"

"Why on Earth would I be?"

"I don't know. It's hard to figure out how you feel about people. I didn't know if you liked me at all. I watched you turn down all those girls who asked you to the winter formal, and didn't dare try my luck at asking you, because I wanted to be your friend first and didn't want a rejection – or even an acceptance – to change that."

"That's a tragedy," Adrien said. "Because if you'd asked, I probably would have said yes. I was only looking for the right partner, and it turns out she was right in front of me the whole time. It doesn't have to be romantic, but clearly we've demonstrated that's not going to be an issue for us."

"Are you saying you'd say yes if I asked you?" Ladybug's eyes were wide.

"Of course, Marinette!"

And just like that, Adrien had a date to the winter formal. Nino was going to be mad he missed the action, but sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction.