The days passed as I waited to hear from my lawyer concerning the divorce. Apparently after I had left the motel that day Edward had withdrew his papers and so when I sent in mine the divorce was still incomplete. I had talked the Cullens, well more like yelled with the Cullens, apparently they had known about the child the whole time and was asked not to say anything to me until Edward and I had talked. But I guess I had asked the same thing of them with Mason. Mason was the only shinning light out of this whole mess. He was like a blessing sent to me to save me from what probably would have come of this whole disaster. Edward still had not left town so I did whatever I could to push him out of town. I did not include his name on the birth certificate and Mason has taken Swan for his last name. Charlie has filed a restraining order for him after he sat out on our doorstep for two days straight, hoping to talk with me. Even the Cullens were not allowed to see Mason, I told them I would send pictures and updates but that was all the contact that they would have with him. Esme and Alice cried and Carlisle begged me to reconsider but my mind was made up and this was the way things had to be.
I finished loading in the last of my grocery bags into the new car that I had gotten after Mason was born and hopped into the driver's seat before turning around to check on a sleeping Mason. However when I turned around I was in for a bigger surprise then I was looking for. Edward was sitting buckled into the seat next to Mason.
"Get out." My voice was dripping with the anger that I had built up towards him since his confession.
"No. Not until you talk with me." I knew my purse and cell phone were behind my seat and if I tried to reach for them Edward could easily stop me. And there was no way I could grab Mason and run because again, Edward was closer. So I turned back around in my seat and huffed crossing my arms.
"Fine but you better know that Charlie will hear about this." I threatened hoping to scare him off but of course that didn't work.
"After I say what I need to say then I really don't give a fuck whether or not Charlie arrests me and keeps me in that cell for the rest of my life cause in reality life ended for me the minute I got in that cab with Tanya." I felt a shudder run through my body at the mention of her name and I could feel the tears at the edge of my eyes.
"So what is so important that you have to break a restraining order?" I asked.
"You didn't let me finish what I needed to say back in the motel room. Yes I have another child and yes I hate that it was with another woman but you know I couldn't just abandon my son."
"That's the thing Edward; you did abandon your son. Because of what you did and because of the course of action you took your son will be without a father." I tried to keep my voice calm and collected while I stared out the front windshield.
"To be fair, I didn't know anything about Mason until after he was born. And I am not trying to make any excuses and I want to be in Mason's life, giving any kind of support that you need." Everything he said was so wrong. It sounded like I was the other woman rather then his wife and it so bad to know that in reality that is the way things were. He had chosen Tanya to start his family with first not me.
"We don't need your money Edward or your time. I have already discussed the matter with the lawyers and they both agreed that if we went to court I would be granted full custody of Mason so why bother. How I see it Edward is that its just me and Mason from now on…" I paused and glanced in the review view mirror to see Edward's angry face. This bothered me because I wanted him to feel pain not anger so I did what he had taught me to do, lie. "Of course until I meet someone and then who knows. I rather keep it simple and let Mason take the name of whoever I marry. That way he will have the father figure and won't ever have to know about this whole mess."
"So you are telling me that if you find someone else and get married, you would allow Mason to grown up thinking that man is his father?"
"If it worked out better then yeah." I said this with such a carefree manner.
"Like hell you are!" He roared and woke up Mason. I turned in my seat to calm him but Edward's arm was blocking the way. "He is my son too. And I will not have some other man raising him if I can help it!" I was pulling and pushing at his arm trying to get Mason from his car seat but Edward pushed me back to my seat and took Mason into his arms.
"Give me my son." My voice was shaking because I feared for what Edward would do. I knew he wouldn't hurt Mason but he could hurt me.
"No. I have already lost one son and even though his mother meant nothing to me that still hurts, so I will not lose another."
"What are you talking about? You have Tanya and little Eddie, why do you need more?"
"That is what I have been trying to tell you. Tanya had met a man named Aro a few weeks after the bar incident, he is rich and she is in love and they got married about a month after Edward was born. They decided that they wanted to be a family and felt bad so that named him after me and will send pictures but asked if I wouldn't make contact." He sighed and for the first time since the whole fiasco, he looked defeated as he stared down at Mason.
"But you would have made a family with her if she hadn't met Aro. You were going to divorce me and marry her because you couldn't abandon your child." I said this calmly as if it was a simple math problem that I had to answer.
"Yes." It was all he said and then he handed Mason back to me. He turned for the door but paused before stepping out of the car. "I am going home tomorrow. I need to get back to work. I will talk to my lawyers and have the papers finalized if that is what you would like and I will not bother you again but Bella I plead with you, don't take away my son."
"Too late." It was all I had to say. I was tired of his apologizes and his childish behavior for the first time in awhile I felt like the adult that I was. I should have known that Edward would have always ended up causing me heartache; it was what he was good at. Those years in college should have been my red flag that I should have only loved Edward from a distance because he was a disastrous being that left only pain in his wake. He exited the car and my life for what I hoped was forever.
Months and years drifted by and I had moved from Charlie's house to a nice one story home about 20 minutes out of town. I was now decorating for Mason's 3rd birthday and even though I had received cards for every major holiday and birthday and a letter every so often in between, I had done well to keep the Cullens out of our lives. Alice and Esme would call for updates and I would provide them but that was all. Edward even tried to call a few times but never got through. From what I heard Tanya's marriage with Aro didn't last long only a few months and since then she had been trying to get Edward to marry her like he had promised all those months before but he refused. He took care of Eddie and made sure he had a father figure but decided to keep well away from Tanya. He had kept his job at the hospital but according Esme, other then his weekend visits with Eddie he didn't leave the house much. They begged me to forgive him and I did. I wrote a letter accepting his apology and forgiving him for his mistakes but that didn't change things he still would never be apart of Mason's life unless it was Mason's choice when he was older.
I finished taping the last streamer to the wall when I heard a knock on the front door. It was still early for the guest to be arriving, so I figured it was Charlie however when I opened the door I was shocked by the man standing in front of me. I couldn't move and I couldn't speak because of all the people I figured to show up on my doorstep over the years, Jasper was at the bottom of the list.
"May I come in?" He asked. Jasper didn't look any different from the last time that I had seen him. His hair was still the golden mess of curls and his face looked like it hadn't aged since college. I was unsure of what to do but my body seemed to be thinking without my mind and I opened the door wider for him to come in.
"You look great Bella, the years have done you well."
"Thank-you…" I finally managed to make words formulate. "What are you doing here?"
"Reason. Is that Mason?" He glanced at the pack and play set up in the living room in front of the TV. I nodded my head and quickly ushered him to the dinning room out of view. We sat at the small table decorated with hats and confetti and stared at each other in silence until he spoke again.
"Let him know his son. I am going to be brutally honest it has been three years of childish behavior between the two of you and since what happened a year ago, I figured you would take some pity and come to your reasonable senses. Now before you say anything, no one knows I am here. Not even Alice, they all figure I am on a business trip which is what they will continue to think unless you reach reason."
I tried to process all that has happened in the last 20 minutes, going over every word and detail that he said many times over. Why was he coming now? And why would I pity Edward?
"What are you talking about? I did forgive him and the lawyers told Edward in the beginning that there would be no contact to make it easier for everybody in this mess."
"You don't know do you?" Jasper said in disbelief.
"Know what?" I asked skeptical if I really wanted to know or not.
"Edward lost his job. He can't practice medicine any longer and Tanya got upset with this and moved to Texas to be with her family since Edward couldn't provide much for her and Eddie. When Edward applied for custody of Eddie Tanya told the courts that he was an unfit parent and a drunk. Since he kind of is when he isn't taking care of Eddie the judge ruled in favor of Tanya. He lost all parental contact."
"He is drinking again?"
"Did he ever stop?"
"Well I am sorry that happened to him but I will not bring Mason into that situation. He will not have a drunk as his father either. Just because his first son didn't work out doesn't mean he can pull out the back up kid when ever he wants to."
"You know he doesn't think of Mason as a back up son!" I had never heard Jasper yell before especially to me. "Did you know that he has Mason's birth announcement framed and sitting by his bed? Did you know that he still has pictures of you hanging on the wall? Did you know that he built that room for Mason in the house and even filled it with clothes, toys, and furniture? Not a room for Eddie and Mason to share but a room for Mason. His name on the door and everything. Emmett and I have had to go over there many nights and drag his drunken ass out of that room where he is curled up on the floor clutching a teddy bear he bought for Mason sobbing. You did it Bella, you reduced him to nothing, isn't that enough for you?" The tears fell from my eyes. Had I really done that? Reduced him to nothing more then a shell of a man? Was I happy about this? No. All the old wounds reopened and I realized that I no longer felt the joy I once did about his misery.
"Give him a chance Bella. Just one chance." With that Jasper stood and walked out the door without even so much as a goodbye.
I sat there crying until Charlie arrived with the cake and I explained what happened. He finished setting up and getting Mason ready as I cleaned myself up. Through the whole party I couldn't get Jasper's words from my head and I fought to get rid of the image of Edward with the teddy bear in Mason's room but I couldn't. So I did the only thing that would help to clear the picture. After the party I sat down and wrote Edward a letter and included a picture of Mason that was taken a few months before. In the letter I told him that I would write updates and send pictures but I still didn't want Mason to know, not yet at least. The next day I put it in the mail box and part of me prayed it would help fix everything and the other hoped it would never reach its destination.
****
"Are you sure you can handle this dad? I am only going to be gone three days and I will have my cell phone on at all times." I was asked to cover a news story in New York for the paper that I was writing for, however I had never been away from Mason this long or this far. Mason was almost six now and could do many things on his own but he was still a child and a handful. Edward never responded to my letters directly but I continued to send them and he continued to send birthday and holiday cards.
I hugged and kissed Mason once more before turning and boarding the flight. This was the first time that I had been back on the east coast in such a long time but there was still a sense of going home for me. When the plane landed I caught a taxi to the hotel that was on the other side of town and settled in before calling Mason and Charlie.
"Hey baby, are you being good?" I asked Mason when he picked up.
"Yep! Me and grandpa went out to lunch today and then to the park which was just so much fun! Grandpa is outside working on the car right now and I have gotten to answer the phone twice now on my own!" He was so excited that it made me smile.
"Who else called?" I asked with a hint of excitement to keep up his mood.
"Someone named Alice. She wanted to talk to you but I told her you weren't home and that I was staying with grandpa." Alice had called? What could she possible have wanted? She hadn't called in years I had always called her.
"Did she leave a message?" My voice was panicked now.
"Uhh…no she just asked where you were and I said the giant apple and then she said that I sound like a big boy and I said I was and that was all."
"Alright, well honey I have to go but will you be a good boy and tell grandpa that I am here?" He said yes and he hung up. I quickly dialed the Cullen's number not even thinking twice.
"Hello?" It was Esme.
"Esme! What is wrong? Alice called today, did something happen?" It came out in a rush but my nerves where so frenzied.
"Bella? Dear you need to calm down." I took a deep breath before she continued. "Now I am not sure how you will react to this that is why Alice was going to tell you but Edward was in an accident dear." I felt the blood run from my face.
SORRY IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE MY LAST UPDATE I HAVE BEEN IN LONDON STUDYING ABROAD FOR AWHILE. HOPEFULLY THE NEXT UPDATE WILL COME SOONER BUT INTERNET IS SOMETIMES HARD TO COME BY IN MY TRAVELS.
