CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT: OVERWROUGHT
(Bella's POV)

I tried reading, but my mind kept wandering elsewhere. So much had happened in so little time, and while it all made sense, it was all so hard to digest.

I'd gone from normal, albeit clumsy, girl from Phoenix to ex-girlfriend of a vampire and current girlfriend of a werewolf. If I hadn't been living it, I would have sworn it came from the front page of one of those grocery store tabloids. The logical part of me wanted to pick it all apart and analyze it, as if that would somehow make it easier to believe. But the fact was that I was living in some kind of supernatural alternate reality now, one in which a one-armed vampire was hunting me and a pack of werewolves were hunting her, and I just needed to get used to it.

I'd been staring at the same page forever. I sighed and dropped the book beside the bed. It was getting late, and I was mentally exhausted. I headed into the bathroom for my nightly routine of brushing my teeth and washing my face and then pulled on some sweats and a tank top.

Once changed, I headed downstairs for a glass of water and an excuse to call Jake. It was after eleven, and long past the polite time to be calling anyone, but I knew Billy wouldn't mind. I quickly dialed Jake's number before I could change my mind and waited for someone to pick up.

"Hello?" Rachel answered on the fifth ring, but she didn't sound sleepy. I wasn't sure I wanted to know why it had taken her so long to answer.

"Rachel? It's Bella. Is Jake there?" I asked hopefully.

"No, I haven't seen him since after dinner. I thought maybe he was with you," she replied. "But Paul's not here either, so maybe they're doing some kind of pack thing."

"Yeah, that's probably it," I sighed. "Well, if you see him, can you just let him know I called? I'm going to bed, so I'll just talk to him tomorrow."

Rachel and I made small talk for a little while. She still seemed pretty worked up, but not nearly as emotional as she had been last night or as bitchy as she was this morning. If anything, she was now overjoyed to be "part of the legends," as she put it, and she even went so far as to say we were like sisters. Sisters who don't get along, I thought. It made me miss Alice all the more.

When she finally stopped gushing about how "cool" it was that the boys were wolves, I yawned loudly, and she let me off the phone. I set my glass by the sink and dragged myself upstairs and into bed. I was asleep the second my head hit the pillow.


I awoke with a start, my heart thundering in my chest. I hadn't had a nightmare, but I was uneasy all the same. Something was off. I could feel it.

I rubbed at my eyes and blinked a couple of times. The cloud cover must have been thick. It was black as pitch, and I could barely discern the outline of my window against the wall. The curtains were wide open, and yet no moonlight shone through. It was clearly way too early to be awake.

I untangled the sheet that had wound itself around my legs and yanked the covers back up, turning on my side to curl up with Jake's shirt. I loved wearing it, but I was afraid the scent would fade. So I simply held it against my chest, breathing it in as I fell asleep.

If only I could clear my head. My mind was simply playing tricks on me, probably a result of the whole Victoria mess. I was just being paranoid. There was nothing out there. And just I closed my eyes and began to drift off again, I heard it. Tapping.

I sat up and turned toward the window, trying to see something in the darkness.

Tap.

My heart wasn't thundering anymore. It had simply stopped.

Tap.

"Bella!" came a muffled voice from outside.

"Jake?"

I fumbled for the lamp switch and glanced down at myself. Not exactly my finest, but Jacob was never one for dressing up, so I didn't suppose it mattered.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

"Okay, I'm coming," I answered, trying to keep my voice down.

I hurried over to the window and pulled. It hardly budged. I pulled again, and it rose about an inch. Apparently that was good enough, because he reached one long arm out and, hooking his fingers under it, raised it with hardly a sound. I stepped back as the cold night air rushed in.

"You're gonna need to oil that," he said before springing into my room.

"Oh really?" I asked. "Are you planning on making this a habit?"

"Definitely," he said, pulling me into his arms.

A comforting heat radiated from his bare chest. We stood there for a while, just holding onto each other in silence, until I finally yawned.

"Okay, sleepy, let's get you into bed," he said, still holding me close as he backed me away from the open window.

"Are you leaving?" I asked. I knew Charlie would kill us both if he found Jake in my room, especially after that thing with Mrs. Newton.

"Not a chance," he replied as the backs of my legs hit the mattress and I fell back on the bed.

"But Charlie…" I tried to argue.

"I don't care," he said, lying down and pulling me against him. The cloud cover must have thinned because I could now see his smile in the dim light.

"Jake!" I tried slapping lightly at his chest, but he caught my wrist easily.

"He sleeps like the dead, Bells," he laughed. "And you know as well as I do that half the floorboards in that hallway creak, so it's not like I can't hear him coming."

He had a point. Charlie was pretty observant, but as long as he was snoring, we were probably in the clear. Still, I felt a little guilty. Charlie was pretty understanding as far as dads went, and he trusted me. Yet here I was, lying with my half-dressed boyfriend in my bed. But we were just talking. Even if Charlie wouldn't have approved of the way it looked, we weren't doing anything wrong, right? I pushed the guilt aside and tried to focus on something else---like where Jake had been all night.

"So what are you doing here? And where were you tonight?" I asked.

"I just... needed to be with you," he said, his breath warm in my hair. "And sorry about earlier. Sam called us together, and I didn't know it was going to take so long."

"Did something happen?" I asked.

"You could say that," he sighed.

He reached over to turn off the lamp and then pulled the covers over me.

"You cold?" he asked.

"No." Actually, with the window still open, I was a little cold, but I knew with Jake next to me that wouldn't last long. "What happened?" I asked.

"We're growing, Bells."

Well, I knew that. I'd only known Jake for a little over a year, and I was pretty sure he'd grown about a foot in that time. Not to mention all the muscle…not that I minded. But Jake and the rest of the pack had appeared to be proud of their new physiques. So why did he sound so worried? Unless…he wasn't going to end up ten feet tall or something…was he? "Is that bad?" I asked, hoping he'd answer all my silent questions as well.

"It's just sad, I guess," he said. "I thought Seth was young, but Collin…and probably Brady pretty soon."

"You mean the pack is growing?" I asked.

"Yeah, we took in a new one tonight. Collin…he's just…" he drifted off.

I had a million questions. Would they all become werewolves? Why did this Collin kid phase so young? How many more were there that I didn't know about? But something in the tone of his voice, something wistful and lost told me not to interrupt, that he just needed to talk. As the silence stretched on, my curiosity grew. He felt…distant, and I wondered what he was thinking. But I remained patient, waiting while he worked through whatever was on his mind, until he could put it into words.

"He's only thirteen," he sighed. "His mom thinks he's possessed or something. And he can't go home. What if he hurts her? Or his little sister? She's only seven." Now he was just thinking out loud. "I mean, I was lucky. We all heard the legends, but Dad knew about them. He knew what Sam was, what Embry became. And I was scared shitless when it happened, but Dad just stayed with me. This poor kid…his mom just turned on him." His hand was rubbing up and down my arm as if he was trying to make me feel better.

I felt like I was supposed to respond, but I couldn't find the right words. "I…I don't know what I'm supposed to say." It was the truth. What do you say to something like that? I'd have been lying if I said it would all work out because I honestly had no idea.

"Sorry," he sighed. "You shouldn't have to deal with all this."

"Jake---"

"No, Bells. You shouldn't have to worry about bloodsuckers stalking you and kids turning into wolves and stupid legends actually being true and all this…shit."

I'd never seen Jake like this. It's not that I thought he was somehow immune to it. It's just that he usually found something to laugh about. If he'd been cracking bad jokes, or even so mad that he shook I wouldn't have been surprised. But I'd never seen him so…sad. "It's okay, Jake," I said.

"No it's not. You deserve better than this. Better than me."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Why would you…? No! You're good for me, Jacob. You're just…everything."

"Don't you see? I can't be everything for you, Bells. There's a whole world out there for you. I'm just…stuck here, stuck being this…this thing."

I pushed myself away from him and sat up so fast I nearly tumbled off the bed. I'd heard this song before, the one about not being good enough, not being human enough. It was like talking to Edward all over again. The self-loathing was only the beginning. Next he would tell me that I wasn't safe with him, that I couldn't trust him not to hurt me. He'd be blaming himself for my clumsiness and bad luck and…I didn't even hear the slap.

He was sitting up staring at me with a look of shock on his face, and my hand hurt like hell. Had I actually slapped him?

"Oh my God. I…Jacob, I'm sorry," I said, tears stinging my eyes.

He wrapped his arms around me and crushed me against his chest. He was holding me so tight I could barely breathe, and I didn't even care.

What was wrong with me? How could I have hit him? He was talking to me, telling me how he felt, letting me see that he was upset, and my reaction was to hit him. I tried talking, but my words were strangled, and I just gave up, sobbing against his chest.

His hand was rubbing up and down my back in long warm circles. Each breath I took filled my lungs with his earthen scent, slowly calming me and causing me to question my reaction even more.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

"I'm not," he said.

"But---"

"Shhhh. It's okay, honey." Was he laughing? "I think I needed that."

I pulled back and looked at him, confused.

"I was getting way too down on myself," he said.

"But…did I hurt you?" I asked. I couldn't see any marks on his face, but I could still feel it in my hand.

He threw his head back and laughed, his whole body shaking as he tried not to be too loud. "No," he said, almost gasping from laughter. "I didn't even feel it. You might wanna use a baseball bat next time, though. That might sting a little." His expression suddenly turned serious and he lifted my hand, turning it over carefully. "Did you hurt yourself?"

Yes. But my throbbing hand was the least of my pain. I'd actually hit Jacob. Really hit him. "It's not bad," I said, watching as he raised my hand to his lips. And then the pain was forgotten. He touched his warm lips to my palm, grazing his mouth along my hand, over my wrist, to the bend of my arm. It was the most erotic thing I'd ever seen, and yet my eyes fluttered shut, unable to continue watching his lips ascend.

"Better?" he asked, his mouth suddenly at my ear.

I tried to hide my shiver with a nod.

"Do you wanna sleep now?"

No. Sleep was the very last thing on my mind at the moment. "We can talk some more," I offered, my mind scrambling for a topic. "Why were you gone so long tonight?"

He lay back down and patted the side of his chest for me to join him. I curled up at his side and he wrapped his arm around me, tugging me even closer.

"We had to decide what to do with Collin. Even if his mom would let him, he can't go home."

"Where will he stay?" I asked.

"My house for now. It's not safe for anyone outside the pack to be around him until we're sure he can control it. Sam is afraid it might happen again."

"Like with Emily?" I asked, instantly picturing her marred smile.

"Yeah."

"What about Rachel?" I asked. It's not like she could defend herself against a werewolf any better than Emily had. "And your dad?"

"Rachel's gonna stay at Leah's. She's gonna be pissed, too," he laughed. "There's no way Sue's gonna let Paul stay over. And Dad can handle Collin. He's already dealt with it once."

"So I guess I won't be coming over, either," I said, a little disappointed, even if I did understand why staying away was necessary. And Jacob was always welcome at my house, but it was a little uncomfortable with Charlie watching us as closely as I knew he would be.

"Yeah, you can," he said. "Just not when Collin's there. He'll probably be with Sam most of the time. He really just needs a place to sleep until he's got better control and his mom comes around."

"Is that normal? You know, for the parents to…well…freak out?" I felt silly the second I asked. Of course they would freak out. Who wouldn't?

He laughed wryly. "If they find out, then yeah, I guess. But they don't always know."

"How is that even possible?" I realized that the pack was a secret, but it didn't make sense to me that those closest to the wolves would remain ignorant.

"It's not something we advertise, Bells. And sometimes it's just easier not to say anything. Dad knows. I think Grace suspects something, but no one will tell her---"

"Grace?" I asked. He'd never mentioned her before.

"Embry's mom," he explained. "And Sue doesn't have a clue. She just thinks her kids are delinquents," he laughed.

Jake had always been pretty open with me about the pack---well, after I'd figured out what he was. But usually I just found out things when I needed to know them. I'd never really asked him for all the little details. There was definitely a lot more to who they were than just hunting vampires. And my curiosity wasn't waning. "So who's Brady?" I asked.

"He's next. Probably any day now. His dad's an elder, though, so his parents know what's coming. Sam's already been over there a lot."

"Is he gonna stay at your house, too?" I knew it was selfish, but I really hoped not.

"Probably not. I think his mom's gonna go visit family, and his dad's gonna stay home with him.

"So…I thought you guys only…you know, changed, if there were vampires around."

"Yeah, but they'd already started the change before last night. Once it starts, you can't stop it, even if the leeches are gone."

Neither of us said anything for several minutes. His finger traced patterns on the back of my neck as I listened to his heartbeat vibrating under his chest. The silence was calming, a rest from all the craziness around us.

"Bells?"

"Yeah?"

"Why'd you get mad?"

"Ah…I just…" Crap. I didn't want to lie to him. But the truth probably wasn't something he wanted to hear. Then again, the last time we'd talked about Edward, he'd been really sweet about it. Did I want to chance that?

"Whatever it is, you can tell me," he said softly.

'It's just…" I wasn't sure how to say it. I didn't want him to think I was comparing him to Edward, even though in a way I was. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "Edward used to say things like that." I waited for a reaction, but none came. So I opened my eyes and continued. "He was always telling me he wasn't good for me, he was dangerous, I should want something…someone human. But he didn't mean it. He didn't mean any of it. He just left and forgot about me."

"I'm not him."

"I know that. It just---"

"Look at me."

I turned my face up to see him watching me in the dark.

"I don't deserve you. You do deserve better. And I hope you never realize that because I'm not letting you go. I love you too much."

He always knew just what to say, and I couldn't stop my smile. "I love you, too," I said, nuzzling my face into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry about last night."

"Last night?" I asked. He wasn't seriously apologizing for Victoria, was he?

"I should have just talked to you," he explained.

Oh. That.

"Will you stop apologizing? We're fine, Jake."

"I know, but I still…I just need you to know…I know I handled it all wrong," he said.

"Well…I guess I make it hard for you," I admitted. "I know I get...uncomfortable about certain things."

"You mean sex," he said, and I was sure there was a smirk behind those words.

"Ah...yeah...like I was saying," I stammered, playfully elbowing him. "But that doesn't mean we can't talk about...whatever."

"When you stop calling it 'whatever' maybe we'll do that," he laughed.

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do. But...you really thought that's what I was mad about?"

"Well, no...Okay, maybe a little," I admitted.

He let out a melodramatic gasp, overplaying his innocence.

"I didn't want to think that!" I insisted. "I just...didn't know what to think. I mean...you're not...you know, ready for that, are you?" I immediately regretted asking.

Quite honestly, I had no idea how I wanted him to respond to that. I wanted him. There wasn't any doubt about that. But I also thought it was too soon. We'd only been together for a couple of weeks, and I was so afraid of rushing into things. It wasn't sex I was uncomfortable about. It was putting too much trust in someone again that was the problem. But I should have known he'd have the perfect answer.

"Not until you are."

"Okay then," I said, instantly relieved. "Can we change the subject now?"

Laughter ripped through his chest. "Yeah. So what can you tell me about Jessica?"

The more we talked, the more I realized Jessica simply defied explanation. She was nice and rude and friendly and annoying all wrapped up together. She was convinced that Embry was her boyfriend now, a development anyone that knew her would have seen coming. To explain her stalker-ish behavior, Embry had gone so far as to tell the pack that he'd told her she could drop by some time. None of them believed him, of course, and the second he phased, they all knew the truth.

According to Jacob, Jessica had taken Embry to her house, where he'd been subjected to not only her attention, but also her mother's. When he'd finally convinced her that he needed to leave, she ignored his demands to go to La Push, and instead dragged him to a florist to look at corsage designs. Before he realized what was happening, Jessica was telling him what color her prom dress was, what time to pick her up, and which after-party they were expected to attend. Embry barely got away from Jessica in time to meet with the pack, and then he'd holed up in Jake's garage and refused to leave.

"So why haven't you mentioned your prom?" Jacob asked.

"Oh...no...I can't...just no," I sputtered.

"Any particular reason?" he asked.

"C'mon, Jacob. You know me. I haven't even mastered walking yet. We'd have to have a trauma unit on standby if I tried dancing. Besides, I don't see what the big deal is. "

"The big deal is that it's supposed to be all ...I don't know...romantic or something. What kind of girl doesn't want to go to her prom? You know they'd all see you with me and be jealous."

"Whatever!" I laughed. "Are you saying you can't be romantic unless there's cheap streamers and bad music?"

"I don't know...what do you think?" he asked, his voice suddenly lower as he turned, pressing me onto my back as he hovered over me.

I didn't have a chance to answer.

His nose grazed up my neck, just below my jaw, and behind my ear where he placed a single soft kiss before dragging his tongue to my collarbone. His body pressed gently against me, and I shifted as his leg slipped between mine. He was getting too good at this. Vampires, werewolves, snoring fathers…all forgotten. The brief thoughts flitting through my mind were only of Jacob.

His lips finally landed softly against mine, his tongue darting out teasingly as his hand moved down my shoulder, over my side, across my stomach trailing invisible sparks in its wake. I could feel each muscle in his back twitch and roll beneath my hands, and my brain just fizzled. His hands, my hands, our lips…the sensations were too much to think straight.

His lips moved down to my neck as his fingertips brushed the waistband of my sweats, and I gulped in a deep breath, brought suddenly back into the reality of the moment and trying to figure out just how to slow this down. But before I could string together the right words, it moved to my hip, ghosted over my side, and slid around my back.

"Is this okay?" he breathed into my neck, his hand slowly inching downward over my rear.

I nodded, not even realizing he couldn't exactly see that, and after a second he tensed and raised his head to look at me.

"Bells?" His eyes were filled with worry.

"It's…fine…good," I stammered. I didn't even know what I wanted, but whatever it was, I didn't want it to stop just yet.

He didn't look convinced, so I reached my hand up around his neck and pulled his mouth down to mine, nipping at his bottom lip. He responded with a low groan and I immediately felt myself being lifted. I choked back what was sure to be a very unattractive squeak as my hips were raised and pressed into his thigh.

We need to stop. I rolled my hips against him. This is Charlie's house. I could feel him pressed hard against my leg. This is too much. My hands roamed down the lines of his chest, over the thin trail of hair that began at his waist, and then slipped around his back, gripping the flexing muscles there, urging him closer. Heat radiated from his skin, seeping through my clothes and enveloping my body in his warmth. With no conscious thought, I lifted my free leg and wrapped it around his, anchoring myself against him as he gently rocked against me. Our kissing was more urgent, crushing and gasping and---

"Bells…" his voice was rough and shaky as he lifted up and rolled over onto his back, his arm rising to rest against his forehead, over his eyes.

I knew I shouldn't have been disappointed, that I should have been relieved, but at that moment I felt more conflicted than I would have thought possible. "Sorry," I said.

He laughed and pulled me closer again. "Don't ever apologize for that."