I originally had this Chapter put into different segments but it was kind of short and I didn't want to drag this whole thing out, so I put it all into one chapter to make things simple. I also forgot to mention it in the previous chapter so I'll say it here. Thank you to all of the reviewers for your comments. It means a lot that you still comment after all this time and I hope you'll stick around till this long journey ends.


Chapter 54: The Loss and Gains of War III

It wasn't very difficult to get to the Citadel, with Issei being the Grim Herald and all. In the six months since his death, security had been upgraded tremendously, with sentinel guards watching every entrance to the domain. To add to that, countless enchantments had been put in place in order to prevent unknown individuals into the grounds.

Bypassing it all, Issei went to her room, but found it empty, which made his gut tell him to go to his own. Warping to the other side of the compound, he opened the door to peer inside. As if time was slowing down, Issei could only hear silence. It was so quiet that the air was audible. Then it came. It was a heartbreaking sound that he had grown so used to hearing. Yet, this one sound was unique, despite initial thoughts otherwise.

A sniffle.

Then, there was a gag, then a small squeak of agony.

(Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows OST: Lily's Theme. Play Song.)

"Issei…when are you coming back? Why didn't you take me with you?" Eldesa moaned and sobbed.

The air of sorrow and grief was so thick that it was palpable. Issei felt as if he could cough and gag from the density. It wasn't emotions choking him up, however. It merely just went to prove the amount of torture that Eldesa felt upon his death.

"Issei, please come back…I can't take the loneliness anymore." She wheezed out in anguish.

Having listened to enough, Issei opened the door. He found her in a fetal position, clutching onto one of his coats, crying out rivers of tears. She looked like she was fighting to sleep, to escape the pain, but it clearly wasn't working. Eldesa didn't even notice him at first but when she heard his footsteps, she stopped, as if she had lost the ability to breath. Eldesa felt dread. Her instincts kicked in, as if telling her that Issei had indeed returned.

"Issei?"

Issei walked deeper inside, closing the door for privacy as Eldesa sat up.

"Yeah, it's me." He smiled at her.

This was incredibly different to her. Since when was the last time Issei smiled under circumstances that weren't exceptional?

"How?"

"The Abyss brought me back. My soul was shattered instead of disintegrated. It put me back together returned me to life." Issei paced towards her.

Eldesa didn't need to certify if he was real or an imposter. In her heart, she automatically knew that he was the real Issei. She had spent centuries working with him. She knew him just as well as Sylderia, and certainly better than the others. Her bangs overshadowed her eyes as she slowly rose up from the bed, dropping the coat in her arms. Biting her lip to keep it from shaking, Eldesa stood up, taking a deep breath before walking over.

Issei stood motionless, waiting to see how she'd vent at him. He was answered with a wild slap that nearly threw him off his feet but before he could fall over, Eldesa's two hands grabbed hold of him and yanked him back over. As quickly as he was struck, he was embraced by a lung-collapsing hug.

Beginning anew, Eldesa began to cry, trembling even more than before. Gasping, heaving, and sniffling while making audible sobs, she tried to hold herself together but failed. Sinking to her knees, Issei dropped with her, holding her protectively as she let her emotions out, unrestrained.

"I'm sorry." Issei softly spoke to her.

Eldesa hugged him tighter, shaking her head.

"Welcome home." She choked out.

Stunned for a few short moments, Issei nodded.

"I'm back."

Returning her embrace, he understood that words weren't necessary for this reunion. In his arms, was a woman who had stood next to him on the bloodiest battlefields and in the quietest of times. If there was any other woman that understood him as much as Sylderia, then it was Eldesa. Just with one look into his eyes and the sound of his voice, she knew he was real. She suffered no delusions and used all of her fortitude to wait for his return. Now, knowing that he'd come back to her, she felt all of the poisonous grief and sorrow clear out of her system. It was replaced by comfort, joy, and overwhelming relief.

"It's been so long. It felt so long." Eldesa muttered to him.

"I know and I'm sorry. I promised that I'd make things better and I tried to do just that. But, I didn't think of how I'd affect you. I'm sorry for that."

Eldesa only let out a passive exhale, the intended sound becoming discombobulated with her thoughts.

"No more apologizing to me, Issei. I know why you did it. It hurt, it killed me to watch you disappear but I know you did it because that's who you are. That's the kind of man that I'm crazy in love with. That's why, I don't need your apology. I just need you to promise that you won't do something like that again." Eldesa shook her head, tears still dripping down her face.

"I want you to swear that you'll value your life more. I want you to understand just how important you are to other people." She plead to him in desperate demands, anguished at the thought of something like this happening again in the future.

Issei was silent, thinking about what to say. Even now, his self-loathing hadn't disappeared. In reality, something like self-hatred would never disappear so easily or quickly. Magic could affect many things, but something so integrated within one's soul wasn't so remediable.

"I swear that I'll try my best. I won't exactly promise on something as important and long-term because I'm no prophet. But, I can promise that I'll do everything I can, to come back to you and the others."

Eldesa thought on that response. It wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear, but it was good enough. Issei never made promises that he couldn't keep, but there was always one promise that he never broke. He would do his best to uphold to a cherished one's wishes. That was a reality that Issei looked at. There was no use in promising something that couldn't always be upheld when taking into account what he was like and the life he lived. What could only be done, was to do his best to keep himself to that promise and not exactly go through with it.

"Ok." Eldesa nodded eagerly.

Carrying her to his bed, he set her down, sitting next to her as she still embraced him.

'I really did a number on her. She's always been the supportive one and yet, here she was, crying her soul out without anyone to comfort her. I can't let something like this happen again.' Issei swore to himself.

Eldesa did everything she could to support him emotionally. Whenever a mission was over, she cooked for him, lent a shoulder to him, and encouraged him. She had gone above and beyond what a friend would do. Issei scoffed at himself. He was a fool for having ignored her blatant affections for him. It must've ripped her heart out to see him mourn for Sylderia in silence while entering a relationship with Artemis. Even worse, he ripped out her feelings for him and stomped on it. He had done the opposite of what he wanted, specifically for this situation.

'I swear, I'm going to make up for my debacle. It's time I treated you all right for your concern for me.' With a soothing hand, he stroked her face as she slept, feeling tender emotions that he hadn't felt in so long.

(Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows OST: Lily's Theme. End Song.)

He was about to move but paused. Looking where her hand was, it still clung to him for dear life. Once again, he found himself unable to leave his spot. Smiling a little to himself, Issei relented. Holding her in his arms, he let her rest as he thought about what to do in due time. He needed to get to Camilla, Amaterasu, Morrigan, and Grayfia too.

It gave him no comfort when he thought about what was happening to them. Camilla had become a shut-in and had lost her singing voice. To her, her ability to sing meant a lot, as it was something that linked her to her past, or more specifically, her home. Amaterasu had become a workaholic like himself, plunging herself into her duties while holding down all emotions and personal attachments. Pretty soon, he knew she'd start losing touch with her emotions. Morrigan was now an isolationist, not willing to tolerate the company of others. Grayfia wasn't much better. She had closed herself off, emotionally, and cried herself to sleep, even having nightmares to accompany her rest.

Snapping out of his thoughts, he looked down as Eldesa shifted. Putting her hand over his, she looked up at him.

"Even after all this time, you still brood on the future." The Chancellor sighed.

"What?"

"You still don't know how to take it easy. Even after you left service, you were always doing something. Would it actually hurt you to relax?" Eldesa raised a brow, clearly disappointed.

"I don't know. I just know that I need to be busy." Issei shrugged.

"You could be busy with taking care of yourself." Eldesa grumbled.

Issei chuckled lightly. Perhaps she had a point.

"What are you going to do after you visit everyone?" Eldesa asked, her voice dripping with dread.

Issei was dead silent. That made her worried.

"Don't tell me…" She gasped.

"I'm still trying to figure it all out." Issei shook his head.

"For once, I'd rather not brood on that particular matter until I get to it." He sighed.

Eldesa was immediately freaked out again. Was he seriously thinking about torturing himself again? She shot up and grabbed his head, catching him by surprise. Launching his face into her gifted bosom, Eldesa held him, knowing that at this very moment, he was undergoing severe turmoil.

"Eldesa?!" His muffled voice came out.

"If it's pressuring you, then I won't bother you about it for now, but please! Please tell us if something's bothering you!"

Issei nodded, not even struggling.

"Okay. I promise."

It wasn't an appropriate thought right now, but Issei had to admit…it felt really good to be planting his face in her chest.

"Good. Now, we should get going."

Without a word uttered from himself, Eldesa already knew that Issei was planning on departing to go to Camilla. Issei couldn't help but chuckle. Some things never change. Again, two arms wrapped around his waist.

"I've waited so long to actually get to do this." She sighed into his shoulder, relaxing onto him.

"I noticed your stares." Issei shrugged.

"Eh?" Eldesa whimpered.

"You stared at me a lot when we were working. I knew that look when I saw it. You know, I could've charged you with sexual harassment and undressing me with your eyes." Issei cleared his throat.

'I can't believe he noticed me! He must think of me as a perv!' Eldesa cried out in anguish.

'To be honest, you're not as direct as Sylderia or Brynhildr when it comes to what you want.' Issei muttered to himself.

With the atmosphere being a bit awkward, Issei decided to set out once again. However, this next destination was a rather sore spot for him.


Camilla had settled in Lemuria, where Sylderia's family was. Naturally, that was a bad place for him to be. He was unsure of whether or not they still hated him, but he didn't care about it. That was something that he had learned about himself. Unlike when this all started, he still retained some of his light-hearted nature but at the same time, he had his lack of sympathy for such trivial matters. It was confusing, as he was trying to sort out who he was now. He didn't want to lose himself or who he was but at the same time, he needed to forge a new identity, at least, it felt right to do so.

When he warped to Camilla's room, he made sure to remain unseen. However, it was partly foiled when he saw Anti-Camilla waiting for him. She leaned against the wall, her eyes shut.

"So, how did you explain all this?" He asked.

"I gave the real story, except for the part that the Crown Princess was in a coma. Surprisingly, the King and Queen were rather quiet about it all. I guess they felt quite guilty for a lot of things they did. Regardless, I reckon that matter is going to be settled soon." Anti-Camilla alluded to Sylderia as she walked down the hallway.

"Where are you going?" Issei asked as she got up to leave.

"I'm directing her here. Besides, now that you're back, I'm going to go see the others. I've kept a quiet eye on my counterpart so I have no worries about me being missing to the public eye. Just make sure we talk later. There's a lot the others and I want to discuss." Anti-Camilla gave him a friendly wave as she left.

Opening the door to her room, he shut it behind him, scanning the room. It looked bare, aside from common necessities, and it was dark. He looked on the desk and found several books stacked neatly on it. Scouring through the dry wrinkly pages, he found that they were all about restoring singing voices and vocal work.

Then, he noticed something. It was a bottle.

'Please tell me she's not on drugs.' Issei prayed. The last thing he wanted, was for her to try and find relief through narcotics.

Looking at the bottle, he realized that the meds were anti-depressants. Picking up another bottle, he found that the liquid inside was meant for restoring singing voices. Issei was miffed. Camilla was obviously trying to get out of her rut, but she was at her wit's end. Were potions and medication her only options left? She was human, and medication was the usual standby treatment, but…this was never the right way.

Biting his lip, Issei hunched over, thinking of how to approach this issue. If he were the Grim Herald right now, he'd probably think of the answer within 30 seconds already. Then again…he'd probably be logical, indifferent, probably even cold.

Right when he tried to arrive at an answer, the door opened. Turning around, Issei locked eyes with Camilla. She stared at him, like a deer caught in the headlights. Her lips quivered as she looked him over, scanning him for any sort of odd traits that she could pick out.

Issei noticed the bottle in her hands and immediately removed them, walking over and gently prying them from her grip.

"I'm sorry." He started, looking down in shame as he set her things on her desk.

"Ah…" Camilla wheezed out.

She looked away, appearing nervous, her lip being bitten upon. Her eyes teared up as she looked at him. Putting a soft hand to his face, she peered into his eyes, wanting to see if the emotion within his eyes were still the same. Recognizing the brutal coldness inside, she pierced through that shell with her gaze and took solace in the fact that his kindness was still alive and well in him. It was her Issei, alright.

"Guh…hah…" Camilla tried to speak but no words came out.

It was as Issei feared. She had not only lost her ability to sing, but to also speak. Her eyes told of the hundreds of days where she suffered the ability to confide in anyone of her pain and fear. Without hesitation, he took her and wrapped her in his arms.

"This is all my fault." He spoke with severe shame.

Camilla frantically shook her head, now sniffling and heaving rapidly.

"If only I'd been honest, if only I'd done better to comfort you, this wouldn't have happened. If only I'd trusted you all. If only I weren't so stubborn, you wouldn't have had to experience all of this."

Camilla pulled away to look at him. She furiously shook her head again as her voice squeaked and cracked, failing to form words once more.

"I just keep hurting you all." Issei contemplated.

"Sto…" The songstress wheezed.

"I failed to save your family and home."

"Stop."

(Final Fantasy X OST: Suteki Da Ne – Instrumental Version. Play Song.)

The painful memory burned through both of their minds as they remembered the red sky, dyed with fire and blood. They heard the shattering of stone and the hiss of death. It was so utterly grim and gloomy that the pain could even be tasted. It hurt Issei even more, for he had the power to stop it, but failed to.

"Stop…i…" She squeaked, but her words came out coarse and hollow.

She hated this. She couldn't stand to see him demean himself. It was as if he were stabbing himself with blades forged from words of self-loathing. Even worse, it was as if he wanted it to happen. She never blamed him for any misfortune that befell her. All of this, was merely occurring from circumstance. He needed to stop hating himself. He needed to see all of the good he'd done.

"And once again, I've failed you. I'm just going to keep doing this, aren't I?" Issei sighed, wiping a tear from her cheek.

Camilla had had enough. His self-hatred had already cost her his life, already. It had already beaten him down without mercy. It had poisoned his mind and soul, forcing him into a cycle that he saw no reason to leave. It influenced him, only allowing him to see the horror within all creation and never the beauty. Most of all, it blinded him from seeing the good that he represented and all the good that he built up.

"STOP IT!" Camilla finally wailed.

She clung onto his coat, her face buried in his chest.

"Just…stop it." She finally choked out.

It had finally happened. Issei knew that a powerful emotional trigger needed to come to make her regain the power to speak. Her singing and voice were strongly linked to her emotional state. Through his own honesty, he prevailed in restoring her voice, despite the less-than-savory way that he chose to do it.

"Why do you have to keep hating yourself?! It's so harrowing to watch you do that to yourself. You don't say anything, but your heart screams all of the time. I can hear it beating such a sad tune all of the time! It's so broken and scary! It keeps beating like that because you're so blind!" Camilla attacked him.

Issei stood silently, letting her vent. This was also a problem that Camilla had. She kept bottling things up until she fell into a deep dark pit, or she'd explode, all while wearing a mask to convince others that she was fine. Right now, she needed to explode, but nothing struck her enough to make it happen.

"Why do you only see the horrible things in life?! Why can't you see the good that you do?! You've saved so many people. You saved me and the entire world. You threw so many things away, but it's not enough for you. Why don't you stop looking so hatefully at everything and think about all of the hope that you create. If you were so detestable, none of us would have ever fallen in love with you. Even now, everyone still loves you. I love you." Camilla sniffled into his clothes, trying her hardest to collect herself, despite her failing ability to retain her composure.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I do only see things from a dark corner of the world. However, you have to understand that I've done too many horrible things. I've orphaned children, destroyed worlds, committed genocide, butchered and tortured…the list of things I've done goes on for forever." Issei defended himself, almost doing it out of instinct.

"I know! But all of the people that you've targeted, have always hurt others. You only eliminated the people that won't redeem themselves! You never hurt innocent people and you never ask for anything! You keep seeing something wrong with yourself but you never see the right things that you do! Why do you keep torturing yourself?!" Camillla demanded.

Issei was silent. He contemplated her words and sat silently as she held him.

"It's because of this that we lost you! I never want to see that again! It was so scary! I lost everything when you died! I already lost my home and my family! I don't want to ever lose you again! I can't be happy without you anymore! You've become irreplaceable to me! So, please, please try to see everything! Stop only looking at the darkness. See the light too!" Camilla pleaded desperately.

The young woman's words struck a few chords within him. Perhaps she was right. He had spent too much time looking at the bloody ground and not enough at the sky. He was so focused on what he'd done wrong that he didn't really see what he'd done right. Even when he did, he was passive about it.

"Okay. I promise. I promise I'll mature my vision." Issei nodded.

Camilla breathed a sigh of relief, despite still crying out her pent-up grief.

"I'm so happy that you're back." She whimpered.

"I'm glad to be back to you all." Issei returned her embrace, cradling her in his arms.

(Final Fantasy X OST: Suteki Da Ne – Instrumental Version. End Song.)

The pair stayed still for some time, Camilla being too comfortable to move. She had finally managed to calm down and her voice was quickly returning. Issei had spent quite a while comforting her whilst she vented out all of her frustrations to him, hoping to dissuade him from any future sacrifices.

Before long, Issei chose to leave, obviously with Camilla urging to come along.

"You're not going to leave me behind, are you?" She raised a brow.

'This is getting rather awkward.' He grumbled to himself.

It was getting rather weird now. He had five women joining him on his short trip to reunite and have some…emotional discussions. Actually, he wasn't going to try and sugarcoat or hide anything now. He was basically going around to try and settle his relationships with other women. To have several others who were in love with him, and whom shared his love was…odd, to say the least. It felt wrong to go and confess and get confessed to when other women who loved him had to be aware of it. It made him concerned for the feelings of the others, even if they had assured him that all eight of them had agreed to allowing polygamy.

"No, I'm not." He honestly replied.

He didn't have any intentions on stalling her closure and catharsis, nor did he really want to leave her behind either. As it stood right now, nobody wanted to leave him alone, nor allow him out of their sights unless necessary. Camilla narrowed her eyes, familiar with his tendency to lie. Regardless, she let the matter go, not wanting to haggle him too much.

When the door opened, Sylderia and the others were waiting, giving Camilla sympathetic looks before she shifted her gaze towards Issei.

"Let's get going. There are some things on their way that I'd rather we all avoid."

This surprised Issei. Since when was Sylderia so averse to talking things out? It didn't seem like anything violent was coming there way. With that said, she was always willing to talk things out. He looked at Eldesa, who shook her head. Clearly, this was a matter to be dropped. Without another word, Issei warped everyone to Hy-Brasil.


As Issei ventured through the forested island, the others were talking amongst themselves, having spent half a year a part.

"He's kind of different again." Camilla mused.

"It's kind of like when we were dating, but a bit more serious." Artemis sighed.

"It's kind of like his 'nice' personality and 'grim' personality fused and he's floating somewhere in between." Brynhildr made her own input.

Eldesa walked up to Sylderia, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Hm?" The Princess looked to the Chancellor.

"Are you okay?"

Eldesa didn't want to really press on the issue, but she was a little worried for Sylderia's mental stability. Out of all of them, she'd been impacted the most by Issei's death. She had slowly gone insane, but was stopped from taking the final step by being forced into a coma. Sylderia knew this was the cause of concern for many and understood their worries.

"I'm fine. Now that Issei's back…I feel whole again." She made a relaxed sigh.

"I know it was the hardest for you. You knew him the longest, and you were the closest to him."

Sylderia only shook her head.

"No, you knew him longest. I may have had a relationship with him, but in the end, you were the one who spent the most time with him. To be honest, if anyone were to know him better than me, it'd be you." The Princess responded.

There wasn't any bitterness in her tone, actually. In truth, she sounded relieved.

"I'll admit…it was soul-destroying to watch him vanish right in front of my eyes. It made me think hard for what felt like millions of years in a couple seconds. When I watched him die, I was helpless. I couldn't stop it nor could I reverse it. It made me realize that he felt this way countless times. It gave me a small taste of what he lived through. Even then, it was brief and singular. Issei, on the other hand, must've experienced it over and over again in the 2,600 years that he's lived. He's lost so much and been forced to commit so much, yet, he stayed silent about it. It was mind-breaking to just imagine seeing and feeling that way millions of time for 2,600 years. I don't know how he managed to hang on, but…I thank whatever higher power there is that's allowed him to stay sane. Living with those memories and that imagination, it must've been living hell."

"It was. Whenever I looked at him, I knew something was wrong with him. It was just so damn difficult to get past that frozen metal wall around him. He'd drown himself in work and duties so that he didn't have to focus on anything else. He was always cold and ruthless on the battlefield. Other times, he didn't communicate more than necessary, despite always looking out for others. When I really thought about it, he looked like he was in misery. Sometimes others could feel it." Eldesa languidly agreed.

"That's all going to change now." Sylderia smiled at her partner.

The Chancellor donned the same expression, seeing a bright light down the road ahead in their lives. She was right. Issei's dark chapter was over. Even if another dark time came, the Queens would become a shield that would accompany Issei, who was an immeasurably sharp blade.

Camilla, Artemis, and Brynhildr talked at another part of the rear. Six months had passed and they wanted to make up for it. Despite their obvious lack of productivity, it was great to communicate again. They had started bonding over wanting to help Issei, and now they had a real chance to start a new and stronger foundation.

"So, what happened with you all and Sylderia?" Camilla asked.

"We did the usual standard and gave our greetings. To be honest, Sylderia did the completely unexpected." Artemis looked at the Princess, remembering the surprise she felt at the time.

"What did she do?"

"She bore a grudge; a strong one." Brynhildr stated, seeming rather disturbed.

"She seemed rather icy when she talked with her parents. She wasn't as warm and vibrant as when she's with Issei. If anything, she looked like she had some contempt. Of course, she wasn't completely bitter, but there was definitely something negative in her when she was talking to them. The whole situation became a chaotic flurry when the Royal Court got involved." Artemis sighed before grumbling at the last part.

"She told her parents of what had happened and when the Royal Court found out, they wanted to ban Issei and some even looked like they were plotting something. Even her parents were wary of him. Then, she straightened their asses out." Artemis huffed, expressing approval for Sylderia.

"They denounced him and started talking about preparing for countermeasures. That was when Sylderia reminded those ungrateful bastards of all that Issei's done for them. I want to see them cause trouble. I'm gonna enjoy dethroning all of those complacent wretches." Brynhildr growled.

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that. I think that Issei's been through enough. Besides, if something happens to us, do you think he'll be able to intervene as he is? I know that he's going to retaliate. He's not the way he was before. I'm not exactly sure of how he'd to do it, but I know that it wouldn't be pretty."

"So, she stood up for him, eh?" Camilla nodded in satisfaction.

"Out of all of us, she's the most defensive of him. I wasn't exactly surprised." Artemis shrugged.

"How defensive?" Camilla wondered.

"Violently defensive." Brynhildr sighed.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Issei kept walking, ignoring the individual discussions occurring behind him. He wanted some time think to himself, having been denied that privilege with the others traveling with him. He loved them dearly, yes, but sometimes, he just really needed silence. Perhaps the stoicism wasn't completely flushed out of his system just yet, if ever.

That was when his moment was disturbed. A soft hand intertwined with his, making him turn to the side.

"You looked bothered." Sylderia noted, looking rather concerned.

"I'm just thinking." Issei gently shook his head.

"I hope it's not the negative brooding." Sylderia settled her head on his shoulder.

"It's not." Issei smiled.

"I wanted to talk with you about something." The Princess sounded slightly nervous.

"Go ahead."

"I told my parents and the Royal Court about what happened." She admitted.

Issei was silent, waiting to hear the rest of the story.

"My parents were hesitant about the recorded banishment on you, and the Royal Court is terrified of you, most of them…" Sylderia trailed off, not wanting to say the next part.

"They want me dead." Issei already knew the answer.

"I already promised them a netherworld of pain if they ever dared to harm you. Nobody, absolutely nobody, will harm you. Not on my watch." Sylderia muttered.

Issei was grateful for her, he truly was, but he didn't want her reputation and life going down the drain over him.

"Whatever comes my way, I'll find a way to deal with it."

"We'll find a way. You're not alone anymore." Sylderia lightly smacked his arm, earning a chuckle from him.

"Yeah, we will. We always do."

"You were always the one making the impossible, possible, my miracle worker, ufufufufu." Sylderia giggled before planting a sweet kiss on Issei's lips.

The others watched from behind, but withheld their unease. It was an unspoken rule and understanding that everyone would get private moments with Issei. There was no competition or jealousy, as that was unnecessary. No one needed any of that drama. In time, everyone would get their turn, making it best that no one interrupted the other over childish issues and desires. (*cough, Church Trio, cough*)

Issei, on the other hand, was unsure of what to do. He didn't want to play favorites, nor did he want to rub relationships in anyone's faces. It felt wrong to just let go of regards for other's emotions while he indulged in his own.

"You can stop worrying. We know what you're thinking and trust us, we understand." Eldesa called over, making Issei jump.

"She's right. We wouldn't have come to any agreements if we didn't already predict something like this." Sylderia nodded.

'They just keep predicting my mind now. Perhaps becoming the Grim Herald again isn't a bad idea.' Issei joked to himself, contemplating how easy he was to read now.

Before too long had passed, Issei had sensed a divine presence nearby. It was similar to Morrigan. Treading closer, pushing past the countless bushes and branches, Issei started picking up the pace, eager to go see her. Traveling further and further across the island, Issei ended up at the coast. Staring forward, there was only a long cliff that overlooked the sea below, with the loud crashing waves overlapping. Issei turned around, noticing that the others lagged behind, before stopping, letting him have his privacy.


Continuing onwards, Issei soon saw a familiar silhouette. He saw raven-black hair, with dark feathered wings. Coming into view, he saw Morrighan huddling herself, staring off into the distance. It was silent, hauntingly so when he stepped near her. The ocean waves stopped moving, the wind died down, and the animals went silent. It was as if Morrighan had willed everything to go into dead silence.

"LEAVE!" Morrighan's voice boomed like thunder, rumbling through the air.

The word echoed throughout the island, rustling everything it touched and unbalancing the very atmosphere around everyone.

"Morrighan, it's me, Issei." The man, himself, declared.

The goddess of omen twitched, or even jumped, before turning around slowly. Issei expected to see a stoic and angry face, given how powerful her voice had been. The raw power placed into it was enough to alarm anyone that was even vaguely aware of how dangerous Morrighan was. What he was met with, was not that. He only saw the face of a broken woman, who'd been drowned in sorrow. Slowly turning around to face him, Morrighan's expression was revealed to be streaming with tears of grief and fear. Frowning sadly while fighting to control herself, Morrighan sniffled and grumbled.

"Go away." She moaned.

(Myself;Yourself OST: Daybreak – Instrumental. Play song.)

Issei didn't flinch. He knew why she was saying this and he understood that she had a good reason to say it.

"Morrighan, I want to talk."

The goddess looked away, still cradling herself.

"Morrighan, I'm so sorry." Issei stepped forward.

Morrighan whimpered. There was no indication that she was resentful or overjoyed. She was so ambiguous that the silence in the air persisted, pestering Issei's mind.

"I know that I promised you that you could trust me. I told you to take my hand and that everything would be okay. And I'm sorry for not keeping that promise."

Despite how the situation had calmed, despite how the whole war was over, everyone knew that the dynamic between nine of them was no longer the same. The equilibrium had been shattered and severe trauma had been inflicted on everyone. Morrighan was particularly affected by this. She had been afraid of trusting others, and dreaded giving friendship and help to others. She'd been taken advantage of in the past and never wanted to experience that betrayal again. It was only through Issei's promise of a better future that she gave life another chance. Yet, nothing got better. Things actually got worse. This entire war had torn her heart in two, as well as destroying her faith and trust.

"You said everything would be better but that was an empty promise." Morrighan scoffed.

That stung Issei a bit, to hear the scorn in her voice and the saturated disappointment in her words.

"Yet, I still can't hate you." Morrighan sobbed out, shuddering as if she were being electrocuted.

"I can't distrust you, even if I want to rip my own heart out. I wanted to tear myself apart and end myself because I knew you'd come home, but the waiting was so hellish. Spending even a single minute without you was so horrific." She cried and cried, wheezing and heaving.

Issei stepped closer, slowly, despite wanting to rush over.

"I know why you did it all, Issei. You're scared, but why…why are you so afraid? What was the point of you telling me to trust you to make things better if you were scared too?"

The man immediately stopped in his tracks. That one sentence had caught him off-guard. Not one person, not a single person had ever said that to him since he'd become the Grim Herald. That made sense, as he'd become a symbol of power and fear since then. Not a single person believed that he feared anything. Yet, Morrighan saw it. She saw that one speck in his heart that nobody else had been perceptive enough to notice. Yes, it was true, Issei had a powerful and hidden sliver of fear in his very core. It had been buried deep below hatred, grief, and pain, which was heavy enough to burrow into a planet.

"Yes, I was afraid." He admitted.

"You were so scared of people getting hurt by others that you didn't think about the kind of pain that you'd cause with your own death. Why do you hate yourself? Why didn't you see how much it'd drive us insane if you died? Why do you have to fear so many things? Don't you realize that you keep me strong now? Don't you realize that by pushing us away, you make us more vulnerable?" She asked, her teeth clenched in anguish.

"It's because all my life, I'd lost the people that I loved. I grew up an orphan at the age of five and lost my second family, who I killed with my own hands. It all happened directly after I lost Sylderia too. Not only that, but I made myself do something I hated for over 2,000 years, and then I had to deal with even more troubles from then on. So, in a nutshell, I was very afraid of other people around me getting hurt, whether it be by my hand or others. Can you blame me for not wanting others to die because of me? Everywhere I go, everything I do, will always bring death."

That was a powerful point. Given Issei's history of loss, Morrighan couldn't argue back. No matter what anyone said, Issei had a legitimate reason for doing all that he did. When someone was as scarred and had lost at least much as he had, then there were very few who could understand his logic.

"You want to know why I keep you all away?" Issei kneeled next to her.

Morrighan flinched, shrinking away from him. Issei stopped, retreating his hand just as he began extending it.

"It's because my sanity was barely hanging on as is. I couldn't bear to lose anyone else. I knew that if just one more person went, I'd…"

Now that he was laying some of his darkest thoughts out for others to hear, he felt so vulnerable. He hated it. He detested feeling open and vulnerable. He hated not having emotional security or a cold grip on himself. Whenever he got open, something always went wrong.

"I knew I'd snap and never repair myself. I understood what I could one day become and I couldn't let that happen because I knew that I'd hurt everyone that I ever cared about. I would hurt so many people in so many places that I just couldn't afford risking it at all. Not even a shred of chance could be left to it." Issei confessed.

He tried to sound as calm as possible, but for one minor second, Morrighan could feel actual fear and weakness. He was finally opening his heart to show his sincerity. For a long time, she'd wanted to desperately know why he made so many promises, and yet, he kept others so far away from the core of the situation. He kept so many away from himself. Now she knew. Issei had left hints behind before but now, she had the full picture.

"What?" She turned around.

"I was terrified of the idea of turning into something like Praegorn and I didn't want anyone to be dragged down with me. Most of all, I never want to hurt anyone I love ever again. If I were to lose just one of you…I'd never come back to who I am now." Issei continued.

That was when Morrighan turned around, giving Issei the most nervous and conflicted look he'd seen. That was when Morrighan let go of her resentment and hesitation. This was all the proof she needed to forgive him and retract her doubts and fears. Her fear didn't compare to his own. Whatever it was that he saw, it was something that no one would dare to see even a glimpse of. Here was a man who'd slain gods, demons, and beasts of all sorts. Yet, he was afraid of himself and what he could still become. That was perhaps the scariest thing. He was always able to keep down the fear of what would happen to people who got close to him. Now, he was ultimately horrified with himself.

(Myself;Yourself OST: Daybreak. End Song.)

Morrighan took both of his hands and held them.

"So, that's why you pushed us all away? Because you were scared of what you'd do? Of what you might turn into?"

"Yes. Sylderia already paid a price for being with me. I made all those promises and then I kept you all away because I wanted to keep them without hurting any of you. All my life, I'd been afraid of losing people, because that was all I really had left, even then, I didn't have many people that were actually close to me. I just…I couldn't bear to lose anyone else, okay? I kept pushing you all away because I knew that I'd die at the end of it all. I knew that when it happened, you'd all be left behind. That was also why I wanted you all to move on. You all really deserved better than me."

Morrighan shook her head.

"Don't say that." She pleaded.

"That was my original thought. From now on, I promise, I won't push you all away like that anymore. From now on, I'll trust you. I leave you all behind anymore. From now on, I want us to walk together, onward. The future is brighter than it was before and I intend to go into it with all of you." Issei resolutely walked over and held her close, staring right into her eyes.

Morrighan was stunned. Even before he became the Grim Herald again, he'd never shown this kind of deep emotion before. He was usually limited from indifference to great concern and kindness. Right now, he showed powerful vulnerability. He was finally showing what he really thought and how he really felt. To her, that was something she'd desired a lot.

It felt cheap to have fallen in love with him, despite their limited time together. It felt cheap to fall head over heels for him when she hadn't gotten to know him as well as others. At least now, she was beginning to learn of him. She was allowed to hear some of his inner thoughts. She was finally able to get closer.

The goddess of omen bit her lip, trying to stop its shaking before diving forward and planting a deep and passionate kiss on his lips. The two engaged in a heated exchange before separating for air, having held onto each other as Morrighan eagerly tasted him.

"I'm sorry for making you talk so much about all of that pain." Morrighan pressed her forehead to his.

"It's fine…I needed to get it out."

"Can you tell us what you saw?"

Issei froze. He looked so cold and still that he could've easily passed for a frozen sculpture. There was so much hesitation in his eyes that Morrighan immediately felt guilty for asking to know. She knew that delving into the past was the most efficient way to bring pain to Issei. However, she still had to know. Whatever it was that was scaring Issei, it wasn't good to allow him to repress it.

"No…not yet, at least. I…I'm not ready." Issei shook his head slowly.

It mortified her to see Issei this hesitant to answer something. She knew he was territorial about his past and inner thoughts. Perhaps she'd probed him enough for now. He had just returned to life and had yet to recover emotionally, nor had he even really begun. From the very moment he stepped foot back into this realm, he worked tirelessly to comfort the ones most impacted by his death. For now, she'd desist.

"Ok."

Standing up, the pair locked eyes before walking towards the others, intent on finishing their journey with two more visits left.


The next place that Issei came to, was the Underworld. He had wondered how things had changed in his absence. Things were particularly shady before he left. After his return, with a few short visits here and there, he found that the inner workings of the society had improved a bit. The Rating Game Scandal where most of the top rankers were cheating through the use of the power-enhancing "King Piece", was revealed. Many of the players were stripped of their titles and ranks, with a few being banned from the competition entirely.

As for the new higher-ups among the government, he found them passable. Clearly, the Four Satans had taken his warnings to heart and were taking more initiative with their society. That improved his opinion of them slightly. Regardless, he didn't come here for them. He was there to find Grayfia. That meant he had to see a few people and waste time, although he wasn't feeling aggressive nor negative in any way.

Appearing at the front of the Gremory Estate, Issei was greeted by Zeoticus, who was both alarmed and happy to see him. Perhaps it was his cynical and jaded mentality that was interjecting upon him, but he found himself more skeptical and wary of Zeoticus.

"Ah, Issei! I'm glad to see that you're well. After the lack of contact between you and anyone for the past six months, I'd worried that something had happened."

"I was busy with personal matters. Can you tell me where to find Grayfia?" He politely asked.

"She's in her room. I have to tell you, she's been extremely odd lately."

"How so?" He asked.

"She locks herself into her room whenever she's not attending to business." A familiar voice reached Issei's ear.

Turning the corner, Issei found Anti-Grayfia leaning against the wall, standing outside a door that was huffing with cold mist.

"Hello, Grayfia."

"I'm not the Grayfia that you know." She chuckled, pointing to her red hair.

"I know, but it's still good to see you." Issei nodded.

"She's gotten worse. The door didn't start exuding cold mist till this morning. Even the door's cracks are covered in ice. She won't say a thing to anyone else. She only does paperwork and other matters before sealing herself inside. I know she's in no harm, at least."

"I understand." Issei grasped the door handle.

It was burning cold to the touch. Grayfia really was slipping. To think that she'd try this hard to isolate herself. With a small burst of blue flames, he thawed the handle, allowing him to wrench the door open.


Following a loud crack and the shattering of ice, Issei entered the room as Grayfia shot off her bed to look at who it was. Her eyes widened like saucers when she laid eyes upon him. She glared at him with hesitation.

Issei looked around the room and noticed that it was frozen solid and frigid cold. Every inch of the room was covered in frost and even snow seemed to fall from nowhere. With a small burst of fire, he thawed the room, finding it inappropriate to talk in such an environment.

He turned around and found Grayfia standing in front of him, looking as if she was ready to attack him or hug him.

"I owe you an explanation, don't I?"

(Star Wars – Attack of the Clones OST: Love Across the Stars. Play Song.)

"Are you real…or…" She trailed off.

"I'm Hyoudou Issei, the one that's known you for many years now."

"How do I know you're not some trick?" Grayfia gathered some ice in her hands, waiting to determine how to respond to him.

"You can feel free to stab me with some ice if it makes you happy." Issei smiled at her, not minding the possible danger he was in.

"I might be tempted to do that."

"Well, I have other ways of proving my identity."

"If you're done wasting my time, I'll be forcing you to leave now." Grayfia warned.

"A bit over a year ago, you and Sirzechs came to my house, asking me to help train your little sister and her Peerage to evade a political marriage. I succeeded and some time later, I intervened on your Alliance Peace Conference. We stopped Euclid that night. We met again several times after that. Notably…" Issei chuckled, stepped forward.

"You showed up to the Order's Halloween Party, dressed as a Yuki-Onna. You got drunk and I ended up having to carry to a seat after several cups of alcohol. I recall the others telling me that you puked your guts out the next morning." Issei couldn't help but laugh, making Grayfia turn beet-red.

"Then, we met again and again, in the battlefield, which you got dragged into because of me. Before finally, I died."

Grayfia flinched, recalling the nasty memory.

"I don't think anyone besides you and I would recall all of that, unless I was the real Issei. And most important of all, I still remember when you confessed your feelings to me. That time, I was still with Artemis and so I never gave you an answer, despite it being long overdue."

Grayfia's heart started pounding like it was being struck by a hammer. Issei did hold ground. No one would be able to recall all of those little things, especially when she knew that nobody else had been watching. Besides, the whole time he talked, she'd been paying attention to him. She heard his voice, looked into his eyes, and paid attention to how he walked. She tried to find any flaw to try and discern if he was a deceiver or if he was the real thing. She wanted to doubt him, but she couldn't. Deep down, in the darkest part of her heart, she knew that it was really him. It made her ecstatic. She wanted to fly right out of her bed and jump into his arms.

"Now, I'm back and it's time I gave you an answer."

"Wait a minute…" Grayfia gasped.

"I love you, Grayfia. At first, I only saw you as a good friend but after some time, I've realized that I feel more than that. You've always tried to help me, you've pursued me to places that others wouldn't dare go and you always stayed strong even when I treated you harshly. You never gave up one me and you were always diligent, doing everything you can for others. When I was alone, you'd always visit me, trying to keep me away from whatever dark thoughts that were bothering me at the time. I took you for granted and I'm sorry for that." Issei professed.

Grayfia wasn't sure what to say. She'd assumed, given his behavior, that he hadn't been paying attention to her or he had simply forgotten about those experiences. She had felt so minor in comparison to the others, given how much more involved that they were in his life than she was. She had spent so long drifting about aimlessly without purpose that she had begun to secretly feel miniscule, trying to be uptight and hardworking to make up for that lack. And now, for the first time in a long time, she felt elated, relieved, and even hopeful. It felt as if she'd been given a purpose again.

"Do you…Do you really mean it?" Grayfia asked, hesitant to really accept this as reality, thinking it might be too good to be true. Tears began to spill from the corners of her eyes as she fought the urge to lunge at him.

"I meant every single word of it."

That was when her self-restraint collapsed, prompting Grayfia to launch right into his arms for a strong embrace.

"I was waiting for so long. It felt like so long. I wanted to collapse but I just…I had to know how you felt. Oh, Issei. I love you so much! I love you so much that I can't stand it when you're away!"

"I promise, from now on, I'll do everything in my power to stay with you and the others. I'm done running away from you." Issei softly spoke to her as he let her cry in his arms, allowing her to finally vent and let go of six months of repressed emotions.

(Star Wars – Attack of the Clones OST: Love Across the Stars. End Song.)

For a short while, they stayed in each other's arms, before finally, Grayfia had been satisfied with her long talk with him, having spoken about so many things they'd experienced in the absence of the other. While it was something they'd done several times while friends, the dynamic felt different now. They felt closer, sharing more personal things than before. It felt wholesome to Grayfia, who had the least contact with Issei ever since the War began. Just sitting in his arms and finally spending time with him again, far away from the battlefield, it had been something that she had dearly wanted for so many nights.

"Alright, I think it's time I get moving." Issei sighed, decided to end the moment.

Despite that, Grayfia continued to cling to him.

"Where are you going?"

"To Takama-Ga-Hara."

"I'm going with you." Grayfia declared.

Clearly 'no' wasn't an option. She sounded more demanding, than gentle. Like the others, she still feared the possibility that this was merely a dream or apparition. Whether it was to keep an eye on him or to wash away her doubts, Issei knew she wasn't going to desist. Without argument, he proceeded to leave the Underworld, taking the others with him.

Issei still had one final visit to make. He was finally at the last of his apologies. He could finally achieve one more piece of closure after seeing Amaterasu. He wasn't sure if things would end well, not one to expect luck to keep going well for him. He knew Amaterasu was resilient and passionate, despite her prim and proper attitude. His six-month absence wasn't kind to anyone and he knew better than to expect her to welcome him back easily, if at all. Regardless, he needed to know what she was like now and he wanted her to know that he was still alive.


Takama-ga-Hara, the once pristine home of the Shinto, had been restored back to its former glory, despite the horrendous damage inflicted on it during Praegorn's final assault across the world. That included Amaterasu's Shrine, but that was not where she was now.

Meeting Anti-Amaterasu, Issei convened with the emerald goddess of the Sun, wanting to know more. Her presence had been questioned and monitored since her arrival in Takama-Ga-Hara. Countless occupants wanted her banished, if not imprisoned or executed but the higher-ups had been told of the plan that Issei and the Chaos Queens had conceived. An attack on her was considered an attack on Issei, whom many still assumed was alive.

"You just missed her. She retreated into her shrine. It's become a lot like Amano-Iwato." Anti-Amaterasu sighed.

"I'd honestly expected her to go there, first."

"She did, but I managed to convince her to come out. That's when she took it from there and started working nonstop. She's going to burn herself out at this rate. Now, she won't listen to anyone."

"What has she done recently?" Issei asked.

"She's taken to avoid food and rest. She's gone across all of Japan, arranging negotiations to fortify the Alliance's pacts with youkai and other gods. When she's done with that, she handles the business of the reparation efforts. She's even gone into the mortal world to deal with repairing Japan after Praegorn's attack."

"That reminds me of someone's behavior." Eldesa huffed.

Issei knew that was a jab at him, but ignored it.

"What does she do in private?"

"I don't know. Even I have my own standards. You'll have to see for yourself." Anti-Amaterasu politely shook her head.

"I understand. Thank you." Without another second, he walked to Amaterasu's Shrine while the others busied themselves with whatever matters they could find.

Issei warped up the stairs to the front of Amaterasu's Shrine, bypassing any guards that may be watching the steps. Looking at the luminous construct, he opened the door, revealing a traditional Japanese interior, with a long hallway that led to various rooms with tatami mats on the ground. White flags with red suns were hung on the ceiling, trailing the way inside.

Walking through, Issei traversed the gold and red innards of Amaterasu's abode, noticing that everything was as neat and clean as could be.


Before long, he'd reached Amaterasu's room but she wasn't there. The candle in the room was still lit and sitting on a table in the room, was a book with freshly written ink upon it.

(The Last Samurai OST: A Small Measure of Peace. Play Song.)

Picking it up, Issei began reading it from the beginning. It was upon reading the first few pages that he understood that it was Amaterasu's diary. He never even expected her to keep one.

Entry #20

I can't believe that my father has agreed to such an ancient and traditional practice. The man who's come for my hand is nothing more than a stranger, asking to marry me based only upon tales. There has been no official record of him, and he has had no achievements made known. This is far too suspicious. I can't resign myself to marry a man so easily and quickly, especially when I don't know him. If humanity can evolve from these outdated principles, then so should we. I cannot tolerate this when there are no sacrifices that are necessary. My life is not some game to be watched and played by others.

Entry #21

I knew something was wrong when Suikaze came here. As it would turn out, he was a spy for the enemy. Still, I can't be more thankful for Hyoudou Issei. He helped me without reason and risked animosity with my father to preserve my freedom and opinion. I wonder, what is he? He's such an enigma that I wish to know more.

Entry #25

It's been a few short months since Issei has left Takama-Ga-Hara. It pains me to say this, but my mind is completely focused on him. It's so shameful for this to happen to me when I've only known him for only a few days. Yet, I can't help myself. I close my eyes and he appears. I listen to sounds and I wonder if I'll hear his voice again. My own curiosity wants to drive me to go see him and learn more about him. However, I will do no such thing. He is with the Moon goddess, Artemis from Greece. Infidelity is something I frown upon and I won't commit it. Still, if there is ever a chance to understand him…I may have to seize it.

Entry #32

If there's one thing I've learned of Issei, it's that he's utterly reckless with himself. He doesn't seem to feed himself regularly and he's looking more tired than when I last saw him. He looked so distracted today. It honestly irked me. To see him take such poor care of himself is rather concerning. That's not all.

He just told me that he broke up with Artemis. The moment couldn't have been more strange. Right after an attack from the enemy, did his relationship with Artemis come to an end. I find it peculiar that right as so many world-wide attacks ended, so did their relationship. My heart tells me to pounce at the chance to grow closer to him but it's absurd. I won't do something like that to him when he just finished ending something that seemed so perfect.

Entry #45

I can't believe it. Even after several weeks and a few months, he still fails to care for himself. It concerns me more and more every day. He looked so much colder and even…sinister. After Eldesa's invite, we all went to the Citadel to surprise him. I'd never experienced one of these…'Halloween' parties before but it was exciting…despite the attire I was forced into. It was a good chance to get to know the others better. At first, I was wary of them, but in the end…after all I'd been told and seen of Issei's past and duties, I must admit that I can't help nor heal him alone. I bear no animosity towards the others and I even like them. Thus, I've now decided that I…am willing to share him if I take part in this group that seems to have formed on its own. I just hope we can make a difference.

When Issei browsed through a few more pages, he noticed that the segment he was on was crinkly and damaged. They were so wrinkled that he wondered if she was enraged when she wrote on them.

Entry #46

I…can't believe he said those words. I can't believe he was so cruel about it. Even now, it tears me apart. I couldn't cry in front of him and the others. I know we were all hurt but…I can't show these tears to anyone. He told me that he doesn't love me and even the others. I know that he lied but it hurts. It kills me so much to even remember his rejection of us.

Issei frowned. This was another reminder that he had made a wrong move with the Queens. His lying rejection of them had done more harm than good. Of course, he already knew that they'd be like this, but he'd hoped they burn their bridges with him.

As he turned the pages, he came across the newer entries. As he continued, the papers grew more wrinkled and cracked. What was worse, was the fact that the papers had once been soaked, not by water or ink, but with tears. She must've been crying profusely when she wrote these next entries.

Entry # 50

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We failed. We failed so horribly. He's dead. He sacrificed himself. He faded right in front of us. I can't believe we lost. Why didn't we try harder? Why didn't we do better? Why didn't we prove how much we loved him? Why did I let him die?

It was grim to continue reading, but Issei forced himself to continue.

Entry # 53

I can't take it anymore. I've tried so hard to bury my pain and grief under work and cold stoicism but it's failing now. I can feel myself breaking so soon that it's practically palpable. In my mind, I long for him so much, and despite my patience and encouragement from others…I know he's not coming back. I don't know what to do anymore. Everything seems so hollow. I have no energy nor any will to act. It's like going through the motions despite knowing those motions going nowhere. Yet…I don't want to give up. If I did, his sacrifice would be in vain. What should I do? What would he do?

After several months, I've come to understand why he sacrificed himself. He shouldered so many secrets and pains that I doubt many would dare to contemplate understanding him. Even so, his death has left such a hole in my heart that it's threatening to devour what's left of it. I've already taken to working endlessly like him but…the pain has become unbearable. I don't want to anymore but…there's only one tiny sliver of hope that still believes he will come back but…I pray to the Abyss that I can hold on.

The next entry had truly scared Issei. It alarmed him. It was written so furiously and quickly, that he could've mistaken this entry to have been written by someone else. The next words were so unlike Amaterasu and that was the most terrifying point. To see the nurturing and caretaker-like one of the bunch succumb to despair.

Entry #54

WHEN WILL HE COME BACK? HOW LONG BEFORE I BREAK? I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE

And with that, the writings ended, leaving Issei to contemplate what he'd done to the poor Shinto Princess. He had broken Amaterasu without meaning to. Just how many times was he to be reminded that he'd handled things so incompletely. Even now, he didn't regret his actions, but the guilt still remained. What was he to do now?

That was when his attention was ensnared from behind. The door to Amaterasu's room was slid open and coming from behind, was a loud gasp.

Lurching around, he found Amaterasu staring at him, tears trickling down her face. Her hand, which covered her mouth fell to her side as she bit her lip, trying to stop her sobs from leaking out.

"I knew you'd come home eventually." She sobbed.

"Amaterasu…I'm so sorry."

Amaterasu cried out, lunging at him, wrapping her arms around him. Digging her face into his shoulder, she shook her head.

"I'm so glad that you're home. I've prayed for so long that you'd come back. I felt myself tearing apart just waiting for you."

"If it weren't for me, you'd have been alright."

"No, it's not like that. It was me, Issei. You need to stop blaming yourself."

The two were so disorganized in their thoughts, that it was hard for either to get a real conversation going. Taking a deep breath, Amaterasu tried to reset the conversation.

"Issei…I'm going to make this short. I'm quite sure that you're tired of explaining yourself already." She sniffled.

Issei didn't respond, wanting to give her the time to speak her mind.

"I know that you were scared of what would happen to us. I know that you did the best with what you had. You've hinted it to us all this time and after six months…I've come to understand. It hurt more than anything that I could've possibly imagined but at least…at least you did it to try and protect us. I know the others feel the same way I do, but for both of our sakes, I want to make it clear that I forgive you, so no more apologizing. Just, from now on, no more sacrificing yourself. Don't hate yourself anymore. Try and realize what you are now. Understand that you're hope now." Amaterasu wept.

She knew what he was going to say, having already guessed how he'd go about his apology. To be frank, she didn't care about that. She wanted him to know that he had her support and that there was no need for redundancy.

Deep down, however, she had her doubts over it. Was it because she might not love him as much? Or was it because she wasn't as close to him as the others? It stung to even begin thinking about those questions. Perhaps that was the first bit of proof that she loved him, at least.

Issei was honestly taken aback. He had expected her to break down like the others but she had been far more composed. She had even thought about his motives and circumstances, like how Eldesa had.

"But still…" Amaterasu trembled.

"Please don't leave me alone again." She begged, her tears finally falling.

"Please don't go somewhere that I can't reach."

Sobbing audibly, Issei took in all her words and sounds.

"I promise, I'll try my best to keep to that. Even if I do leave, I swear, I'll always find a way back home." He swore as he held her close, soothing her.

(The Last Samurai OST: A Small Measure of Peace. End Song.)

"That's just like you…only making promises that you know you'll keep." Amaterasu whimpered, though she tried to smile.

Just when Issei was about to speak, she shook her head.

"No more talking. I think we've done enough of thinking to last lifetimes."

Issei smiled back at her. Reading her diary entries had been enough for him to know how she felt. It even helped reaffirm his own attraction and feelings for her.

It was heartwarming to her to see him smile so casually again. It'd been so long since she last saw that look on his face. Perhaps he'd found some solace and ease of mind from wherever it was that he came back from.


Walking out to the others, Issei paused as Amaterasu went to stand by the others, waiting for him.

"So, where to next?" Sylderia asked.

"Home." Issei smiled.

Home sounded great right now. It was to go home that he had wanted to do for such a long time now. This time, he wasn't going back to an empty house.


Returning home, Issei found that Yaegaki and Cleria were out, having taken a small trip to visit other places in Japan. Issei smiled when he read their message. He knew they were just giving him alone time.

He tried to find the Anti counterparts to his harem, but they were nowhere to be seen. In a similar strain, they had taken to traveling, enjoying some time to relax since Issei had now returned. Taking early-planned moves, he pulled some strings to pay for their expenses, feeling as if he owed them for watching over his Queens.

After a whole day of traveling and deep emotional exposure, Issei decided that he needed to get back into a calm mindset and back to a normal routine. Now, what did he usually do? Right, it was about time to eat. It's been so long since he had a meal. Perhaps the last time he actually ate was when Sylderia made him his favorite dish, Shepherd's Pie, in Egypt. His stomach certainly decided that he needed to eat, growling louder than a dragon.

Sylderia, knowing his habits, immediately went to the kitchen, humming.

"What's up?" Issei asked her, as he followed.

"I know you're hungry." Sylderia chuckled.

"Was I that loud?"

"No, but I just know. You probably haven't eaten since I made you that Shepherd's Pie, have you?"

"No." Issei confessed.

Shaking her head in jolly exasperation, Sylderia only laughed.

"Well, tonight, I'm making all of your favorites."

"Shouldn't you be resting?"

"I think I've had enough of sleep. For tonight, you relax."

Issei knew better than to argue with her. He usually lost, anyways. From behind him, Eldesa walked inside.

"Let me help. I'm pretty familiar with his tastes too."

"Mind getting that goulash started?" Sylderia nodded, smiling.

Before long, Sylderia and Eldesa were working in tandem while Issei sat at the table, reclining in his seat as he looked around his house. Not a thing had changed since his departure from this place. Cleria and Yaegaki certainly did whatever they could to keep the place intact. He looked around his Living Room before something caught his eye.

With a smile of nostalgia, he took a picture frame from off the top of the fireplace. It was the picture that he had kept of him and Artemis, before their breakup. The last time he looked at it, the glass had shattered, now, it was placed in a new and shiny frame.

'Talk about symbolism.' He chuckled to himself.

"I miss those days."

He looked behind him as two arms wrapped around his shoulders. Artemis looked at the picture, recalling their sweet time together.

"Those were good days." Issei nodded.

"I'd never felt so content and happy before. Of course, my mind was another case, but my heart was certainly in the right place. Ufufufu. You were kind of dorky sometimes." Artemis giggled.

"Huh…" Issei deadpanned.

Just then, Artemis placed a sweet peck on his cheek.

"Of course, you were a loveable dork." She finished.

"I guess I might be."

"Dinner's ready!" Sylderia called over to everyone, with Eldesa in-toe.

At last, Issei could sit and relax and for once in such a long time, he felt like he was part of a family again. To be surrounded by people he loved and the people that loved him…it was a luxury that he had considered lost for so long.

He had never fought with a reward for himself in mind. However, to receive this treasure after so much suffering and trauma, it was a blessing that he'd never relinquish.


After dinner, Issei decided to go to bed, but prior to it, he found the situation to be odd. The others were being particularly shifty, their movements and eyes included. Was someone going to go after him tonight? Were they uncomfortable with each other? Were they still in recovery? He was being pestered by so many questions that he wished he had his Grim Herald mentality. Things were so much easier to think about then.

Deciding to go take a shower, he returned to his bedroom to find a most wondrous surprise. Lying in his bed, was Sylderia, who was dressed in a black lingerie nightgown. The hem of the outfit barely went past her crotch and the straps of the attire looked as if they could snap with a touch. Not to mention, it was giving a generous view of her bountiful cleavage.

It took a considerable amount of Issei's self-control to keep his eyes trained on her own.

"What was up earlier?"

"We had some things to talk out." Sylderia smiled, patting the spot next to her on the bed.

Was it his bed or their bed now? Without question, Sylderia would be considered the legal wife, considering she came first and had the strongest effect on him. Lying down, Issei faced her, still wanting to ask more questions.

"I take it it's us tonight?"

"Yep. Just us." The Princess confirmed.

"So, what did you want to do? The night is young and we're both fed." Issei smiled, bringing her closer, with his arms around her lower back.

"I just want to spend time with you. I went over 2,600 years without you. I need to make up for it." Sylderia giggled.

"True. I've really missed you." Issei sighed contently.

"I also wanted to mention something." Sylderia sounded a bit hesitant. Clearly, she was worried about his reaction.

"What is it?"

"While my parents and the Royal Court are wary of you, my grandparents want to meet you." Sylderia made a sheepish smile.

"I see." Issei seemed to ponder on what to say.

"We don't need to think about that right now. For now, let's relax and unwind. You need a break from all of the drama."

"Maybe." Issei sighed.

Sylderia smiled sweetly before her expression became downcast, worried.

"What's wrong?" Issei asked.

"It's okay to let it out, y'know?"

"What?"

This only served to confuse Issei, who was generally oblivious of what she was trying to hint at. Sylderia knew better, of course. She seemed to have trained to notice whenever he was feeling upset or negative. As the person closest to him, she knew when it was time to soothe and talk to him, or he'd just bottle up whatever dark secret he was holding onto. That was a poison that she never wanted him to taste again.

"I know you're still holding it all in. Earlier, you were talking about how you saw something horrible. You said you saw things, but what? When you looked at us the entire time after we started gathering, you looked terrified. I knew that you were going to try and make us all go home, but you didn't."

Sylderia had caught on to him. Issei grew uneasy. Recalling the memory was entirely unpleasant for him.

"Tell me, what did you see?"

"I won't tell." Issei shook his head, his eyes closed.

"Issei!" Sylderia's voice rose slightly, her hands turning him to face her.

When he looked at her, he only found a sad and worried look across her face.

"Please, trust us. Stop avoiding us. We all love you and we know just how much you love us. So, please…tell us what you saw." She pleaded, placing his face into her chest.

"I can't…you'll all hate and fear me." Issei took a shaky breath, trying to bring his emotions under control. The day had token a large toll on his emotional composure and he was having some trouble trying to control it, as is.

Sylderia immediately soured.

"That's the stupidest thing you've ever said to me. Why would I hate and fear the man that gives my life reason? If that were the case, wouldn't I have abandoned you already?" She demanded a reply, knowing that it knock some sense into him.

Issei went silent. His grip on the back of her clothes tightened. With several deep breaths, Issei came to the conclusion that he needed to keep to the promises that he just made. He had already sworn to do his best to trust the others and to confide in them.

"Okay, but…we need to get the others. It involves everyone."

"Okay, my love." Sylderia softly smiled, glad that he was willing to take that scary first step back from the dark depths that he had sunken into.

Once everyone had gathered in the Living Room, Issei sat at the head of the circle they made, with all eyes trained on him.

"I've kept a secret from you all for a long time. It's a secret that I had taken to my grave, as I had sworn, but now…it's time you all knew about it. It's not right for me to keep it a secret from you, nor is it any good for me to keep it bottled up."

Issei took a deep breath, shaking quite visibly. Sylderia and Artemis sat to both of his sides, putting comforting hands on his shoulders while the Princess held onto his left hand while Artemis stroked his back. Whatever it was that Issei was going to say, they'd be patient. Whatever he saw, it must've scared him horribly for him to even begin shuddering in fear and trauma.

"As you all may know, I sometimes experience visions. A while ago, the Abyss told me the secrets behind the Fortium revolt. However, right after that, I had a vision…rather…I directly saw into the future, by chance. I don't know how, but I did. It was then that I saw the thing that I tried to warn you all about. During that time with the Abyss…I saw the worst nightmare to ever befall all of creation."

Issei's eyes stared into the distance, his mind slipping back into the memory of that day, when he foresaw the horrors that could one day still pass.


And that is a wrap for this chapter. I also want to announce that I have a new story planned and it will be coming after "The Grim Herald", "The Dragonic Will", and "The Heroic Calamity" end. I won't say more, since I'm still not sure if it will still really lift off the ground yet, but I just wanted to say it because it will be a very expansive project. It's already proving tedious to plan but I hope it'll work out well. Anyways, please feel free to leave reviews and constructive criticisms and I will make sure to read them, even if it seems like I don't, in which I certainly do. Reviews and comments help me grow, even when it doesn't seem like it.

Oh, and before anyone starts to think the story is over, it's not over. There's still a little bit more that I want to get done before I can declare this story to be completed.