( A couple notes, a lot of people have asked when certain story changes happen, I can't tell you what the biggest life altering storylines are but they are several chapters down the line I promise, and I think you will be pleased so sit back and enjoy the ride. I just need to get from point A to B of the most current chapters before things blow up. Good things come to those who wait, Destiel lovers especially.)
Sam woke to Dean peeling off the covers over his new tattoos, "I just want to be sure they are ok Sammy." Sam smiled up at his brother and touched his cheek, "Always worrying about me Dean, baby I don't want you to worry all the time when you get back home."
"That's like asking me to stop breathing Sam."
"Dean….when you get back will Castiel be with you again?" Dean shrugged, "I don't know Sammy he left remember? Maybe watching us go at it scared the crap out of him. Our sex sessions aren't for everyone you know."
"Well I think he will come back, what if he is in love with you?" Dean paused for a moment then kept applying ointment gently to Sam, "Sam he does love me…..I mean he's told me that." Sam's face darkened, "Do you love him though? I mean like I said, sleeping with someone else is one thing but loving someone else…..well that's not something I want to worry about."
Dean sighed and sat next to Sam, "Baby I don't know, I care about him and I can't explain it but I feel like he watches over me and he saved me Sam. I didn't tell you but after I dropped you off at school I felt so bad I just wanted to die, no joke. I was planning on raiding a nest of vamps on my own when I got back and just let nature take its course." Dean lowered his head, "Die a hero instead of a lonely, unhappy nothing."
Dean's eyes teared up but he held them back, "I found Castiel, it was like I could sense him, I caught his scent and I followed it Sam, I followed it like he was a bitch in heat and I needed to mount, fuck and mark him for myself. I was ruthless, smelling and tasting until I spotted him by the bar."
Sam was getting uncomfortable with Dean's memory and the look on his face, pupils enlarged and the way his tongue wet his lips thinking to that night meeting the angel for the first time. "I was going to take him in the Impala….that was the plan just pull down those pants and pound him till he passed out….the weird fucking thoughts I had like every dirty kink I have was amplified a thousand times and I actually physically hurt."
Dean suddenly pulled up his brothers legs, "Dean what are you doing…..get off me, don't pretend I'm him you bastard, if you want it so bad jerk off, I'm not second to your memories of Castiel." Sam kicked his brother hard on shoulder with his foot and Dean tumbled off the bed. He landed hard and looked dazed like he had been somewhere else and didn't realize what he did. "I'm sorry Sam."
….
Dean tossed his duffle into the Impala, Sam was already in the front seat waiting. "I guess we are all set Sammy." Sam rested his head against the window "I suppose we are Dean." He knew it was only October and he wouldn't make it back until Christmas, missing Thanksgiving and Dean's birthday in January.
…..
Sam watched the scenery whip by and then he caught a reflection of his brother. Dean looked so destroyed, he looked over and Dean was gripping the steering wheel for dear life, his jaw was set and his eyes were misty. "Don't let those beautiful lips get tight like that….please smile for me Dee." Dean didn't answer, he swallowed hard and kept starting straight ahead.
Sam reached in the back and pulled out a shoe box full of cassettes, Sam broke out in a big smile and waved it by Dean's face, "Bad English" was written on it with a marker, he popped it in and the intro started to play. Dean glanced at Sam, "Really Sam?"
Sam poked him, "I told you to smile but now you force me to sing to you for once…ok here goes."
….
"Sometimes I wonder how I'd ever make it through, through this world without having you…I just wouldn't have a clue. Cause sometimes it seems like this world is closing in on me and there's no way of breaking free and then I see you reach for me…..
…..
Dean couldn't help it, he wiped his eyes and started to smile, "Sam, you gonna keep singing to me?"
"Yes Dean…yes I am." Dean patted his leg, " A duet it is."
….
Sometimes I wanna give up, wanna give in, I wanna quit the fight, and then I see you baby and everything's alright…..
…..
They started to sing at the top of their lungs together, Sam flung his arms open dramatically.
….
When I see you smile I can face the world oh oh…..You know I can do anything when I see you smile I see a ray of light, oh oh….I see it shining right through the rain…..
….
Dean shut off the tape and pulled over the first chance he got behind a rundown closed gas station, "Dean there are people around." But Sam was smiling when he said it. Dean slid over and pulled Sam on his lap and hugged him, he looked at the wedding ring he had given to Sam and kissed it then nuzzled his neck.
"My beautiful baby, I promise Sammy someday we are gonna have it all. A house, land to live on, a dog, cat, a kid, anything and everything you want I promise or I'm gonna die trying you got that?"
Sam was caught up in his brothers dream for them, he nuzzled his ear and whispered, " I want normal with you Dean…our normal, I don't care what anyone thinks anymore I promise."
Dean pressed play and the music started, they moved to the back seat throwing everything on the floor then kissed and fondled each other until the windows were steamed and they both came up for air sweaty and breathless.
"We have to go Dean."
"I know Sam." They started driving again, "Its lunch, I'm hungry." They pulled into a mom and pop restaurant and sat by the window. The waitress came over and they ordered. Sam reached out and took his brothers hand, "You know we are codependent Dean, I don't know what would happen if we didn't have each other."
Dean was looking at the dessert menu, he shrugged, "So what, there are worse things people can be and lots of people don't have anyone. Consider us lucky baby boy cause we got each other and that's a fucking gift if you ask me."
….
They pulled into the parking by Sam's building and Dean went up to Sam's room. Oliver was sleeping and the smell of pot was heavy in the air, Sam went and opened the curtains and the window. Oliver rolled over with his hands over his eyes. "So bright…ugh what time is it?" Sam kicked the bed, "Get up lazy I'm back."
Oliver peeked through his fingers the bolted out of bed and grabbed Sam, "oh man, I am so glad you're ok, you are ok right?" Sam laughed, "I'm fine, you?" Oliver's smile faded, "I'm ok Sam." Oliver saw Dean standing by the door and put him in a bear hug lifting him off his feet, "Thanks for saving our bacon brother." Dean laughed, "Hey put me down, you make me feel like a midget big guy."
Oliver sat down, his expression serious, "I thought I was going to die you know? I was scared then you and the angel came and Castiel knew what to do, I owe him big time. Where is the little guy?" Dean looked at Sam, "I don't know he just left and that was it. Well Sammy I got to go, I'm not going to do that drive by myself straight through but I want to get some of it under my belt.
Sam grabbed Dean and kissed him softly, "Bye Dean, I love you. See you at Christmas ok? Will you come and get me?" Dean searched Sam's hazel eyes, "Yes baby I promise."
Sam watched his handsome brother walk through the parking lot to the Impala, everyone looking at him with admiration as he walked past them. Oliver put his arm around Sam and watched with him from the window, "Does Dean know how fucking awesome he is? The guy looks like a beautiful God, he can hunt and fight, he's brave and kind, smart, funny and sweet, the biggest heart I saw….damn Sam he is the real deal, the total package."
Sam shook his head, "No Oliver I don't think he knows how awesome he really is….but I do."
….
Castiel made the choice to go back, he told those closest to him that he wanted to give Dean Winchester the world, anything he wanted and live a life with him, to be a real family. He knew all the hopes and dreams he and Sam had since childhood and he would make it come true.
…
Dean floored it to make up for lost time, the feeling of emptiness took over and he turned on the radio to take his mind off it.
"Hello Dean." Castiel was sitting next to him smiling slightly with hope in his eyes. Dean let out a sigh of relief, he reached over and took the angels hand then glanced at him quickly.
"Hey blue eyes I missed you, keep me company?" Castiel broke out in a full smile, "As long as you will have me I will be here Dean Winchester." They drove in silence but both were smiling inside taking pleasure in the feeling of having each other in this difficult and dangerous world.
TBC
