Super Paper Mario X
Chapter 46: The Sealed Doors Three
"At long last, we find it…" Luvbi breathed. "Herein lies the way out of The Underwhere. This is Underwhere Road."
"So if we proceed ever upward, we'll eventually reach the Overthere?" Tippi asked.
"If you're trying to pull off Luvbi's accent, it's not working," so said Sonic. Luvbi ignored Sonic and scoffed at Tippi.
"Yea, verily! One would think that to be obvious…Ugh…My heart weepeth to return to the Overthere without meeting mine one true love. Pray, speakest to me, Tippi…Believest thou in the idea of a soul mate?"
"Hm? Well, you know, I…I don't really-"
"Hmm, I shall mark that as one vote for "undecided". Or perhaps I should say "unrequited", in thy case…ha HA!"
The group just tiled their heads as Tippi became flustered once again. "What do you…Ridiculous! I mean, I'm not…"
"Hee hee…Sweet Tippi! How simple it is to tweak thy chain!" she floated a small distance away, smiling sweetly at the group. "So…Now I must forge onward. Catchest me if thou canst!"
As she fluttered off, Tippi just gaped. "That girl is a walking mood swing… I mean, she's entirely unstable, isn't she?"
"I'll go catch that shrimp and I'll…" Sonic grumbled to himself as he walked ahead. Tails yelped and grabbed onto his arm.
"Sonic, you can't just go plodding on ahead!"
"Why not?"
"Because it's pitch black up ahead in the areas that aren't right in front of us and who know what things are lurking around, waiting to reach out of the shadows and grab us!"
"Tails!"
"Sorry Luigi."
Mario decided that this was one unlikely group. Sonic had wanted to storm right through the door, even after the D-Man standing right next to it had explained how it was nearly impossible to see in there. Luigi wanted more information and asked him more.
"Yeah, great, listen, through this door is The Underwhere's hot spot, Underwhere Road! The dark is so dark in there, you can almost taste it! And it tastes like danger. So, tourists huh? Listen, you guys aren't packing any fire or anything, are you? Sorry, gotta ask. We keep it dark in there on purpose, so we don't wanna spoil it!"
"Well, let's go!"
"…"
Mario turned around and saw Luigi gripping his hat, chatting his teeth, and shaking his knees.
Mario: Luigi!
"N-No no no no no no!"
"Luigi…" Tails trailed, trying to get him to come as well.
"They keep in dark in there on purpose? ! Why? ! To scare the daylights or any other sort of light out of everybody? ! And I'm also not up for a snack of danger-flavored darkness!"
Mario: Luigi…
"O-O-Ohhhhh…"
"C'mon, it's probably not as bad as it sounds!" Sonic exclaimed, once again walking through the door. Mario and Tails grabbed Luigi and somewhat dragged him through. They let go when the door slammed shut behind them and left them in the thick darkness.
"O-O-oh boy…"
"At least we can see each other!" Tails stated.
"Yeah, and I think I just saw Luvbi…" trailed Sonic, running after. "If we follow her, she'll probably show us the way out!"
"Well I didn't see her!"
"Just stick with us, Luigi…" Tippi said, following behind Mario as Mario followed Sonic who was following Luvbi through the dark. They could hardly see where they were going, and if they went too fast…who knew what they'd tumble into?
They jumped on a few platforms, then followed Luvbi to the left. Luigi accidentally hit a ? block and absorbed a Mushroom. Sonic, meanwhile, got stuck on a platform.
"Okay, I'm waiting here…I can't see you guys or Luv- Tails, stop grabbing my arm!"
"But I'm over here, Sonic…"
"…Mario?"
Mario: Wasn't me.
Sonic blinked then glanced over his shoulder- an Underhand had reached out from the wall and was now grabbing Sonic. He let out a cry, kicked it sharply, then bounded upwards. Mario, Tails, and Luigi missed where he went, but they found their way after seeing the Underhand for themselves.
Sonic found Luvbi again, floating over a gap in the road. He thought about how he was supposed to follow her until he noticed the rotating rectangles off to the side. He was just about to step in when Luigi tripped, knocking over Mario and Tails, and sending all four of them into the rectangle doohickey.
"Okay, I hate it in here…"
"Remember the room with all the spiders?"
"Tails, why do you keep reminding me of bad moments?"
"To prove that being here could be a lot worse!"
"Well Underhands are a lot scarier than a room full of spiders and- ACK! THERE'S A HAND NOW!"
Luigi jumped away from another hand and stumbled into another rectangle. Mario, Tails, and Sonic leaped from platform to platform just to keep up with him.
"Luvbi…aw, why can't you wait for us?" Luigi moaned.
"Be happy that she doesn't want to be near us!" Sonic huffed when he returned to Luigi's side.
"Ugh, why is there so many of these? !"
"What, Tails- the spinning rectangles or the Underhands?"
"BOTH!" Tails yelled back, hitting an Underhand away with his wrench as he stepped into yet another rectangle. Luigi saw a Dark Boo and tried to punch it, but Sonic distracted it while Mario came up from behind and jumped on it. Luigi just gulped an hit another ? Block containing another Mushroom. The three of them hurried after Tails, and to an extent Luvbi, by once again leaping from the platforms and smacking away Underhands.
"I found a Dark Boo card!" Tails' voice announced in the dark.
"Great, where are you?" Sonic asked.
"Um…I think I'm to the right-"
"Well I'm at the left!" Luigi cried.
Sonic tilted his head. "But…I'm in the middle…"
"Where're you, Mario?"
Mario: Toward the top.
"What? ! That's not possible!"
"I just saw something white and floaty!"
"That was Luvbi, Luigi."
"…sorry for being paranoid…"
"Oh wait, I see Mario!"
"I see him too!"
"I don't!"
"Just follow our voices, Luigi!"
"Keep going up!"
"Here, I'll help!" cried Carrie, flying around in the dark until she found Luigi trying to fight off another Dark Boo. She quickly transformed into her floating platform form, scooped Luigi up, and flew him back to the top of the room where the other three had caught up with Luvbi.
"The door before us refuseth to open!" Luvbi huffed frustratedly. "It even refuseth to open for me!"
Tails rolled his eyes as Mario knocked on the door. Nothing.
"It's being held shut by some sort of force…" Sonic trailed. Mario looked thoughtful for a few moments before pointing at the door. Tippi's power activated, causing her to divide into eight small triangles that circled around the door.
"This door…it's no ordinary door…"
"Halt! What's this, then? Travelers have come?"
The door suddenly gained a face that included red-orange eyes and a jagged mouth. Everyone just sort of gawked at it.
"Now! Queen Jaydes demands I guard this door, people!"
"But you ARE the door!"
"I'm Dorguy the First. Lotsa monsters around, folks. Lotsa monsters. So I've gotta do routine checks, OK? Sorry for the trouble, folks, but I need to make sure you're trustworthy. Just a couple of questions. Answer them all correctly, and we're done! Then you can head on through."
All four members of the group so far let out a groan. Tippi blinked and asked them what was wrong.
"Trust us, we've been in these sort of situations before…" Sonic moaned.
"Yeah, they either ask a bunch of questions, have us do some sort of activity, or have us fight an enemy!" Tails added.
Mario just sulked and turned to the Dorguy, who was ready to begin. "Here's the first one! I'm warning you, though, these are pretty tough questions, so use those noggins."
"No worries! We have Tails!" Luigi exclaimed. Tails turned around and gave him a look.
"And just what is that supposed to mean?"
"It doesn't matter because their challenges are always easy in the first place," Sonic stated confidently. "I say bring it on!"
"D-Man A goes to the store and buys an equal number of tomatoes and eggplants. Eggplants costs seven coins apiece and tomatoes cost ten coins apiece, OK? D-Man A has 50 coins when he goes into the store. He comes out with 5 coins. Those are the facts! Now!"
"Oh man, I hate word problems!"
"It's actually very simple if you think about it-"
"Oh quiet Tails- word problem are the most baneful part of mathematics itself!"
"Who is the most powerful person in The Underwhere?"
"The answer is im- wait a minute, Queen Jaydes?" Tails asked right back. A celebratory sound rang out as Dorguy said. "DING-O! Correct!"
"Trick question! Those are even worse!"
"Next question! Shayde B buys 667 pens for 13 coins each and buys 108 notebooks for 42 coins each. He needs more money, so he takes out 3,756 coins from the bank and spends it all. Those are the facts. Now!"
"That doesn't even make any sense!"
"What is my name?"
Mario: Dorguy the First
"DING-O! Correct! Now for the last question! Panda A and Bear B go to Apple Mountain for a day of apple picking, right? There are 120 apple trees on the mountain, an each has a 20-apple yield. A takes 10 seconds to pick each apple, while B takes 20 seconds to pick each apple. Those are the fact. Now!"
"That's some complicated apple picking."
"How many times did I just say the word "apple"?"
"It's a double trick question!" wailed Luigi. Tails cringed and sweatdropped.
"Ironically I wasn't paying attention to that…"
"Six times," Sonic said innocently. Mario, Luigi, and Tails stared at him until Dorguy the First made the final judgment…
"…DING-O! Correct! You folks seem okay to me. Head on through."
His face disappeared and his "mysterious force" vanished, causing Sonic to break out into a song and dance.
"Ha HA! A door is no match for us! What now? !"
"Anyone else get the feeling that there'll probably be more than one?" Tails asked.
Mario: Oh yeah.
. . .
Through the first Dorguy, the group found a large locked door in the middle of the room, and also a smaller one being held close by three D-Men dressed like cavemen. When the quartet approached, the first one snarled at them.
"Huh? What do you want?"
"How are we supposed to get to The Overthere if the doors are all locked up?" Sonic wanted to know.
"Look, we'd love to chat but we're crunch-time busy over here, can't you tell?"
"We simply must reach The Overthere…" Tippi explained. "But we don't know which way it is…"
"The Overthere, huh?" pondered the same D-Man. "See that door on your left? It'll head you up there. But we can't open it right now. We've gotta guard this door. We've trapped a raging beat and a few monsters from The Underwhere inside."
"Yup, this thing in here is DEFINITELY the one that escaped its prison!" the second one exclaimed. "…but we locked up the others in there just in case. Can't have them breaching security, so we locked both doors just in case as well."
"This thing's a BEAST, lemme tell you…real nasty. It if starts rampaging again, I don't wanna be the D-Man who has to stop it. Problem is, until someone subdues it, we can't use the door to The Overthere…So…if YOU can tame in, we can open that door for you. …wanna give it a shot?"
Mario: Sure.
"Mario!" winced Luigi. Mario shrugged- how bad could this thing be?
"Yeah, way to bring it, Mario!" Sonic cheered, punching the air rapidly.
However, the third D-Man just burst into laughter.
"Bah ha ha ha ha ha! I was just messing with you. Seriously, no one would ever be dumb enough to…Wait…did you just say "yes"?"
Mario: Uh-huh!
All three of the D-men gawked at Mario.
"ARE YOU NUTS! ?"
"Y-Y-you're SERIOUS? ! You actually think you can tame that beast! ?" stammered the first.
"Well, hey, yeah, great idea. Sounds like a smart plan…" trailed the second. "Tell you what…you head on in…and I'll mail your mustache to your next of kin!"
Mario tackled Luigi just as went to make a run for it. Tails just stared with wide eyes as Sonic shook his head.
"Look, my prediction? Your game's about to end," explained the third D-Man. "If not, we'll help you on your way. Give it a shot, champs!"
They unlocked the door and stepped aside, gesturing for them to go on ahead. Luigi was yelling something about "not wanting to lose his mustache" as Sonic and Tails held the door open so Mario could drag his brother on through. When he was inside, Sonic and Tails slammed the door shut, then turned around to lay their eyes on the fearsome creatures that lurked within, but the room was pitch black.
"GRAAAARGH!"
With the loud yell, the lights lined up on the wall all came to life with fire, lighting the room and revealing the beast and its fellow monsters. Everyone was expecting something terribly hideous or threatening looking since it was the monster that escaped a prison…
…but they only found Bowser throwing a tantrum and Eggman, Ganondorf, and Knuckles playing cards in a corner.
"Ha ha ha ha! Oh man, I was almost actually a little scared for a moment!" Sonic cackled.
"…why'd they lock up Knuckles?" Luigi wondered.
"And why in the world are they playing cards?" Tails questioned while gawking at them.
"Got any threes?" Knuckles asked Ganondorf. Ganondorf muttered something under his breath as he looked at his hand, then shook his head.
"Go Fish."
"BS!"
"What? ! No!"
"Here, take the pile!"
"No way! You draw four!"
"Not until after you give me my ten chips back!"
"I wanted to raised the stakes!"
"Well you can't because you have the Old Maid!" shouted Eggman. Ganondorf twitched.
"Oh yeah? Well I've got a Crazy Eight as well!"
Eggman smirked. "Really? Because I have Aces over Kings!"
Ganondorf's jaw dropped while Knuckles just about crushed his cards in his grip. He snatched the pile, Ganondorf's cards, and Eggman's cards and tossed them all into the air.
"52 PICK UP!"
Ganondorf saw a jack come fluttering down and slammed his palm onto it. "Ha! Slapjack!"
"But is it a black jack?" Knuckles stated in a matter-of-factly tone. Eggman shook his head.
"No, but it's a Heart! You know red cards have to go over black cards."
"UNO!"
"BINGO!"
"What in the world are you guys doing?" Sonic demanded to know. Ganondorf, Eggman, and Knuckles finally noticed their presence in the room and waved.
"Sup! We're playing cards!" Knuckles exclaimed.
"What the heck kind of card game under the sun is this?" Luigi demanded to know.
"Well, we've played every card game known to man…" Ganondorf explained. "Eggman had a spare deck in his pocket."
"Yeah, so since we've played everything, we attempted to fuse them all together!" Eggman finished.
"Wanna play?" Knuckles asked.
"No!" Tails shouted incredulously. "You guys are locked in a room in The Underwhere and you're playing cards? !"
"The worlds are ending you know! We don't have time for this!" Luigi reminded them. "You could've at least escaped by busting through a wall!"
"Nah, Bowser's got that taken care of," Ganondorf said simply, shuffling the deck. "He's been having an episode as soon as we were thrown in here!"
"I can't believe they thought I was a monster!" scoffed Knuckles.
"What'd you do this time?" Sonic groaned. Knuckles gave him a look.
"Well, after you guys called me, I was trying to get past a Door of sorts, but it was asking all these weird questions that I couldn't figure out, so naturally I got frustrated-"
"You overacted in an angry fashion-"
"-I was frustrated, so I repeatedly pounded on the door until the D-Men found me, tackled me, and threw me in here because they thought I was trying to get to The Overthere and wreak havoc or something. Then I joined in on the villains' card game."
"Well I guess there's no fighting to do after all!" Luigi sighed, relived. "All we have to do is walk out and the D-Men will let us pass and we can peacefully continue our journey and-"
"Where am I? !" Bowser continued to complain, kicking at the wall repeatedly. "And why do these jerks in shades keep jumping us? ! And what's with the dark? And Peach isn't here…and I'm hungry. What did I do to deserve this? !"
Mario: I can think of lots of reasons.
He heard Mario speak and quickly turned his back to the wall, glaring down at his arch foe while the other three were still conversing with the card-players. However, Luigi happened to walk over at the wrong time, and Bowser acknowledging him made him jump.
"Hey, it's the guy in green! You're alive? !" Bowser gaped. Luigi blinked.
"You can't even remember my name?"
"But where's everyone else? What happened to Peach?"
"We don't know yet," Tippi explained. "We're looking for her too…and the others as well."
"So what you're telling me is that Peach is definitely not here. I don't like this one bit." he then came across a completely outlandish proposition. "AHA! I see your little plan! You wanna break up what me and Peach have going!"
Mario: This guy's impossible.
Luigi went slack jawed. "WHAT! ?"
"You and Peach don't have a thing!" Tails exclaimed, walking over.
"Yeah, we can't break up something non-existent!" snickered Sonic. Bowser apparently misheard what they had said, or didn't hear them at all.
"Yeah, you've been WAITING for a chance to fireball me in the back!"
Luigi rapidly shook his head while Tippi spoke up again. "Uh…no. We truly don't know where Peach is."
"If we knew where Peach was, Tippi would be with her," Sonic pointed out.
"We merely…"
"Can it, you ugly little bug! I'll stomp the truth right out of you! CHARGE!"
Bowser instantly breathed flames at them, all four of them bouncing backward. Ganondorf and Eggman exchanged wicked glances and prepared to fight as well.
"Mindless fighting!" they cheered, Ganondorf staring to throw magic and Eggman firing lasers. Mario, Luigi, Sonic, and Tails were dancing around like crazy to avoid them all while Knuckles stared sadly at his cards.
"Aw, no one wants to play now…"
"ACK! You guys are just making this harder than it need to be!" Tails yelped, flying out of reach of Bowser's flames.
"I go nowhere until I see my wife!" Bowser roared, trying to claw and slash at the flying fox. Luigi came out of nowhere and kicked him in the head.
"I'm pretty sure she's not really your wife…"
"You were even at the wedding!" Bowser blared. "You were there! You saw!"
"Please just give it up," groaned Tails, conking Bowser in the back on his head with his wrench.
Meanwhile, Eggman was chasing Mario around, firing lasers like no tomorrow. Mario had a firm grip on his hat while he ran around the room, afraid to turn around at the risk of being blasted in the face. Sonic jumped in from nowhere, however, sticking his leg out and causing Eggman to trip.
"YAH!"
His finger was still on the trigger of his laser gun, firing a stray shot and zapping Ganondorf in the head. Ganondorf grabbed the right side of his face and howled in agony.
"Watch where you're firing your shot!"
Eggman hit the ground with a thud, Sonic proceeding to jump on his back like it was a trampoline. Mario snickered, then swerved out of the way of a firewall that Ganondorf summoned. He then found himself running around in circles once again as Ganondorf fought back with rapid fire! He called Carrie over, then jumped on her and charged straight at Ganondorf. Right as he was about to attack, Luigi was thrown into Ganondorf, causing Mario to slam into the wall instead.
"What the…" Ganondorf moaned, seeing Luigi sitting on him. He grabbed him by the arm and chucked him across the room again. "Get offa me!"
"What did I do to be thrown around like this?" he moaned. Tails was still fighting off Bowser, only to hear Luigi's wail in the air and duck down. The green plumber flew over his head and crashed into Bowser. Tails just looked on.
"Well, that works…"
He then felt two missiles whiz by him, one of them containing Sonic who drove it straight into the wall, then bounced back. He landed next to Tails, and both of them turned around to see Eggman now sitting in his battle mech.
"Watch, Tails. We're gonna get a load of this."
Eggman, who hadn't heard Sonic, bellowed out with, "Get a load of this!"
"Called it!"
Eggman sent more missiles at the heroes, laughing maniacally until Mario jumped on his head while using Carrie. He was just about knocked out of his seat while Tails ran over and grabbed Barry. When a missile started to fly towards him, he superguarded it and changed its course to hit Ganondorf.
"Woo!"
"You'll pay for that!" Ganondorf roared, raising his hands up and creating another wall of fire. "Superguard THAT!"
Before it could even reach Tails, a sudden furious wind that whirled into a tornado consumed the firewall, and surrounded Ganondorf as well. It slowly closed in on Ganondorf, until he was being burned and whipped by wind at the same time. Sonic jumped out of the funnel and gave Dashell a highfive.
"Nice job!"
"You too! Seriously!"
Meanwhile, Luigi was running away from Bowser who was going on a rampage. He noticed Tails just standing on the sidelines and waved at him frantically.
"Jump, Tails, jump!"
"Okay?"
Tails jumped up in Luigi and Bowser's line of fire, Luigi jumping up as well. He intercepted Tails in the air by grabbing his wrist, then spinning around and throwing him straight at Bowser. Tails was ready to attack with one of his tools that made direct contact with Bowser and sent him flying back.
"OW! Why am I getting so badly pwned? !"
Mario then jumped in from nowhere and kicked him in the head. Bowser was actually quick to get back on his feet after that blow, blasting fire at his nemesis. Mario was one step ahead, however- he placed Boomer right where Bowser attacked, causing the Pixl to automatically detonate and for Bowser's plan to literally blow up in his face.
"Grr-GRARGH!"
Luigi sprang up from out of the blue, rocketing by Bowser and crashing his head into the Koopa King's jaw. Bowser stumbled backwards, grabbing his face while Luigi landed back on his feet and took off toward Eggman and Ganondorf, who were now attacking Sonic and Tails. Crouching again, he Super-Jumped into Eggman's battle mech, tipping it right over and causing Eggman to pour right out of it. Ganondorf stopped throwing fire at Sonic and glared at Luigi.
"If you think that same trick is gonna work on me-"
"I don't," Luigi replied casually, running up the wall then bounding off of it upside down. Mario then jumped up, latched onto Luigi's wrists, then smacked his brother down hard onto Ganondorf. When Ganondorf toppled to the ground, the bros exchanged a highfive.
"We'll have these guys tamed in no time!" Sonic exclaimed, charging up a Light Dash. "Ready? GO!"
He bowled into Bowser, since he currently was the only one standing. Bowser was also currently charging at Sonic, eyes closed and arms flailing around. Sonic must've been too much for Bowser, because Bowser stumbled a bit, but it wasn't until Tails tripped him that he fell over onto his shell as well. Ganondorf and Eggman pushed themselves off the ground and walked over to help Bowser up- after all, a turtle was completely helpless when it was flipped over.
"Gonna give up yet?" Tails asked, as he, Mario, Sonic, and Luigi all stood in a line facing them. Once Bowser was back on his feet, Team BEG growled at the heroes and prepared themselves to fight once again. They spread out, just enough so that they were circling the heroes. Now the heroes stood in a circle as well, standing back to back and slowly circling to the right. It was a pure stare down for several moments, until the ground started to quake violently and a red blur came rocketing out of ground, smiting its direct target.
"OW! KNUCKLES!"
"Whoops, sorry Thunder. I was off by a little…erm, take two!"
As Luigi fell to the ground grabbing the spot where Knuckles had punched him, Knuckles dug back into the ground, the villains and the other heroes wondering what the heck he was thinking.
Well, the fighting recommenced when Knuckles sprung out of the ground again and hit Bowser in the face.
"THAT'S IT, GET THEM!"
Sonic, Tails, Mario, and Knuckles all bounded out of the way as Bowser, Eggman, and Ganondorf launched their attacks. Luigi was hit by all of them unfortunately, but he was saved by Mario blasting Boomer at Eggman, Sonic kicking Ganondorf to the ground, Tails using his tools as drumsticks on Bowser's head, and Knuckles sending them all away by pounding his fists into the ground. The quake that followed sent the three villains flying onto the ground and skidding against the walls. Luigi dusted himself off then proceeded to jump on the heads of all three of them, also using Cudge for added effect.
"C'mon, we can finish them off!" Luigi exclaimed. "…hopefully…"
"Of course we will!" Knuckles replied.
"Well, not when you go whaling on your team leader," snickered Sonic.
"That was an accident!"
"You're forgiven, Knuckles," Luigi stated, ducking under an attack from Ganondorf while Tails sweep kicked him back to the ground again. Sonic and reluctantly Knuckles exchanged a nod, jumped into the air, grabbed the others' wrist, then spun around until they turned into a red and blue wrecking ball. They plowed into all three villains, then Knuckles let go of Sonic and grabbed Bowser's tail.
Mario: ^^
In a Mario-esque fashion, Knuckles started spinning around, swinging Bowser around with him. Eggman and Ganondorf gulped.
"This doesn't look too good for us…"
"RARGH!"
Knuckles let go at just the right moment, tossing Bowser straight into his cohorts. They all screamed when Bowser plowed into them, and that attack alone was definitely enough to ensure that they were beat. Mario, however, had one finishing move in mind. Bowser saw him walking up and started to whine.
"Please, no! Have mercy!"
Mario: Bye-bye!
He lit Boomer and threw him at the group, landing right in front of all three of them. Team BEG gave Mario pleading looks, but Mario just grinned as he snapped his fingers and detonated the Pixl.
"GRAAAAACK! Dang! Why do I always lose? What is WRONG with me? !" groaned Bowser. "I get up every time, though! As many times as it takes to send you to The Underwhere!"
"I already told you we're already there!" Tails exclaimed frustratedly.
"Yea sorry to break that to you, big guy…" Luigi chuckled nervously.
Bowser stood up, looking highly exhausted. "What? What're you talking about! ? Do I LOOK like a guy whose game is over? !"
"You and Mario were sent here, to the land of ended games…To The Underwhere…" Tippi explained.
"And somehow Team Luigi was sent here as well," Knuckles added while scratching his head.
"We didn't know what happened to any of you, not just Peach…"
"What? ! So Peach really is lost out there somewhere? !"
"Yeah, along with Zelda, Kirby, Malon, Meta Knight, Samus, Amy, and Link," Tails rambled.
Bowser suddenly glared at them. "Why didn't you say so, idiots! ? We could've been searching for Peach this entire time!"
Sonic just face palmed. "At least he's not trying to kill us now…"
"Man, this means we're back with the good guys again," complained Ganondorf.
"Trust us, we're just as thrilled as you are," Tails sighed.
"Ooh, that reminds me!" Sonic exclaimed, whirling around and pointing at Knuckles. "We need to give you an intro!"
"Say wha-"
Mario: Oh yeah!
Sonic struck Link's introduction pose. "Team BEG has rejoined the team…and Knuckles has joined it as well! Sporting massive and strong spiked fists, this echidna can punch through nearly anything! When Team Luigi takes control, he can either climb up walls to reach higher heights, or glide back down. His battle ability is being able to counteract a superguard."
Knuckles struck his own pose. "Pretty impressive if I do say so myself-"
"Enough talking! We've got a Peach to find!" Bowser proclaimed, marching toward the door as Thudley eagerly returned to his side. "What're you waiting for? Let's MOVE!"
Outside the Door-
The D-Men were just surprised to see the group not dead.
"Hey, it's you!" cried the first D-Man. "And your game isn't over…did you run away or something?"
"No, we tamed the beast," Luigi stated simply. The three D-Men gasped dramatically.
"WHAT! ? You BEAT it? !"
"And then some," groaned Sonic.
Mario: Oh yeah.
"SERIOUSLY? !" "NO WAY!"
"Man, I can't believe it…Wow, uh…Thanks! You're a prime go-getter pal! This key'll open the door that connects to The Overthere!"
The first D-Man walked over and handed Luigi the key.
"Cool, cool, problem solved! Way to think outside the box there, people." He turned to the other two D-Men. "I'll just stay on watch here. You guys go find the rest of the monsters out there!"
"WE'RE ON IT!"
As they ran off, the remaining D-Man turned back to the group. "Oh, hey, and let me give you a little tip. Lots of dark areas around here, right? Solution: put a little flame to the torch sconces you see on the walls! That'll light up the place for awhile. Careful, though, they'll eventually go out. If you know someone that can use fire, get 'em on torch duty, STAT!"
"Looks like you're on torch duty, Bowser," Knuckles said instantly. Bowser just growled something under his breath.
"See Luigi? Now we won't be delving into absolute darkness anymore!" Tails exclaimed.
"Yeah, but the journey through it still won't be pleasant…"
"Finally a downer!" Ganondorf cheered. "That means less positivity in the group!"
Luigi just stared at him. "…what is wrong with him?"
"Chronically pessimistic?" Eggman shrugged, taking the key from Luigi and jamming in the lock. Once the door was unlocked, Mario pulled it open and lead everyone on through.
. . .
The next room was filled with darkness, just as the D-Man had forecasted, and Luvbi flew off into its unforgiving shadows once more. The only difference between now and then was that they had Bowser this time, who leaned over and spewed fire at one of the sconces.
"Let there be light!" Luigi rejoiced as the darkness was repelled away.
"At least we won't be blindly finding our way through again," Sonic added, relieved.
Mario nodded gratefully in agreement as light filled the room. Luvbi was spotted flying upwards, and as much as the group hated to do so, they followed afterwards. Her constant shouts of things like "Hasten your pace!" "You only chaseth me because I art so cute." and "I hopeth my prince be in the Overthere…he will be better than the fools I hath been saddled with."
She got on everyone's nerve, and it took quite the team effort to tackle Knuckles to the ground when Luvbi murmured, "The red thing is awfully stupid, nay?"
"Let me get my hands on her, please!"
"Dude, you really want to murder the daughter of the King and Queen of death?"
"Yeah, they'll place death on you if you do that."
"I don't care if she's the princess of life after death- no one calls me stupid and gets away with it!…often!"
Anyway, Luvbi spewing out random insults to everyone continued as they ascended up a tall, tall, tall, tall set of stairs. As they climbed, the area around them gradually grew darker, and Bowser was constantly aiming his flames at every sconce hanging off the wall. Luvbi, whom, unfortunately for the Koopa King, was floating next to him as he lit up the wall.
"You certainly hath hot breath, nay? A little closer and you would scorcheth me verily!"
"Oh would I ever love to do that-"
"Bowser…"
"Still your tongue of fire, mortal. I art not one to holdeth a grudge."
"Yeah right," snorted Sonic in disbelief. Luvbi whirled around and gave him a dark look.
"Thy art not one to be questioning me, verily. Especially since thine mind is not as sharp as thine quills."
Knuckles and Ganondorf burst into laughter as Sonic clenched his fists and glared right back at Luvbi, who was smirking and looking obviously pleased with herself.
"I outta give you a piece of my mind-"
"Yea, a piece is all you hath of a mind."
"Ooh, burned…" Bowser hissed, lighting up another sconce as Mario did his best to prevent Luvbi from getting on everyone's nerves and get everyone to the top of the area. The only ones who were really listening to him were Luigi, Tails, surprisingly Eggman, and somewhat Bowser, only because he was on torch duty. Eggman had wanted to get to the Overthere as fast as possible to drop off Luvbi after the last comment directed at him-
"Why dost thou hath such an abundance of hair under thy nose? It's ridiculous, yea. And thou art shaped like an egg as well- your roundness could blocketh out the sun!"
So it was only obvious that Eggman was dying to get to the paradise in the sky. The only one that seemed immune to Luvbi was Ganondorf, simply because she had no legit way to victimize him. Mario made no eye contact with Luvbi as he lead the group up, which seemed to do the trick…but how dare she call him chubby! It was only a few extra pounds, after all.
"And you," Luvbi huffed at Knuckles, continuing her deriding rampage. "Thou cannot sayeth that thou are not stupid, nay?"
"I'm not stupid you little whatever the heck you are! Say it closer to my face so I can punch yours!"
Luvbi just rolled her eyes. "Ah, your temper is hot, just liketh your head."
Luigi elbowed Knuckles. "I think she called you hotheaded."
Knuckles started trembling with resistance. "Can I please hit her? Just a little black eye?"
"You will lay not a finger on me," Luvbi huffed, starting to fly to the top by herself. "You men begin to bore me, so I willeth continue on. Yea, verily."
"Good riddance…" Eggman grumbled.
"She won't get very far…" Tails pointed out.
"At least we get a break from her chatter," groaned Ganondorf in relief.
"I wanted to scorch her," Bowser complained as he blasted a Dry Bones off the platform with his flames. "Very badly…"
"Shame we're at the top though," Sonic sighed as he helped Mario take down some Dark Boos. "She's been gone for a mere few seconds and I bet she's waiting for us up there."
"Yea verily, unfortunately…" moaned Knuckles as they all leaped to a platform on the left side of the area, then jumped to the very top part where Luvbi was indeed waiting.
"Sigh…It was too short a break…"
"Shush yourself!" Luvbi ordered. "Just get this door openeth."
"Ooh, she's pushy too…" grunted Bowser as Mario summoned Tippi's power and pointed her at the next Guard Door. Knuckles' eyes suddenly widened.
"Hey, this is where I got stuck before I started beating on this door and the D-Men found me!"
"Great, now we get to figure out what simplistic puzzle had you baffled," scoffed Ganondorf. Knuckles was getting ready to hit him, as no one would object to that, but the Dorguy interrupted him before he could.
"Halt! What's this, then? Travelers had come?"
Just like the previous door, this one gained a somewhat scary-looking face, but the face was different colors compared to the first one.
"Now! Queen Jaydes demands I guard this door, folks! I'm Dorguy the Second! Look, I apologize for the intrusion, but I've gotta run a quick security check, here. I've got a few questions. Answer them all correct and I'll wave you on through."
"It can't be any worse than last time," Tails stated.
"Unless this door has word problems too!" gasped Luigi.
"ACTIVATE SCREEN!"
"Eh, screen?"
"I know, it's brutal!" exclaimed Knuckles.
Mario and the rest of the group watched curiously as a white screen dropped down from the ceiling.
"This is no time to watcheth a movie!" Luvbi protested, outraged. "Of course, such oblivious men wouldeth be distracted by a blank screen.
"She acts like this is our fault," muttered Ganondorf.
In any case, the Dorguy was just as quick to cut to the chase as the first door was, and Mario was ready for any questions he might get thrown at him.
"All right, Question one! Look closely at the objects on the screen, OK, folks?"
The screen then displayed a yellow circle, square, and triangle, a red circle, square, and triangle, and a blue circle, square and triangle. They all moved around the screen, and everyone did their best to pay attention to every little detail.
"Now answer me this…how many red objects were there?"
"Well, there was red circle, red, square, and red triangle," Luigi recalled.
"So…three?" answered Tails.
"Hmm…sorry folks, but I'm not gonna tell ya if you're right or wrong just yet."
"Oh great…"
"Question Two! Watch that screen now!"
Two triangles were on the screen, one red and one blue. Also on the screen were three squares of every color, and four circles of every color, with two of them being red.
"How many triangles were there, folks?"
"Easy! Two!" Eggman exclaimed. Dorguy the Second just kept a blank face.
"Hoo hoo ha…Question Three! Eyes at the screen, folks."
This time, there was three of every color, with each color having every shape. What seemed to be different this time around was that there was only three shapes moving.
"What color were the moving shapes?"
"I'mma have to say blue," Sonic replied, the Dorguy looking perplexed.
"So that's your answer, huh…"
"Ooh, I'm not feeling so confident…" trailed Knuckles. "I think I missed the next question…and the one after, maybe…"
"I'm appalled that you managed to miss any of these!" gawked Bowser.
"Next question! Off the top of your head, what number question is this?"
"Three!" "Five!" "Six!" "Forty-Two!" "One billion!" "Over nine-thousand!" "BOWSER!"
"Only one answer, folks!"
Mario: Four!
"Getting tired yet, folks?"
"I am!" Luvbi called from the sidelines.
"Oh, I hope he accepted Mario's answer…" Luigi trembled.
"This is the last question…look closely at the screen."
There was three of every color, once again, and they were all moving. Except…one of the shapes was more abundant than the others.
"What shape was the most plentiful, folks?"
"Please be triangles…" begged Luigi, getting down on his knees and pleading.
"Oh snap, I answered circles last time!" Knuckles exclaimed. "Man! I can't believe I cracked under such a simple question!"
"Which proveth my point that thou art idiotic."
"I'm not a thing! I'm an echidna! And I'm not idiotic either!"
"DONE!" blared the Dorguy, putting a halt to Knuckles and Luvbi yelling at each other. "Lemme just analyze your responses real quick…"
A Few Antagonizing Seconds Later-
"Hoo hoo HA! P-P-Perfect! Amazing…I'm…impressed. Your brain ages must be very young, folks!"
"What does that mean?"
"Beats me."
"Well, with brains that young, you must be good people! Head on in!"
Dorguy the Second opened, and everyone fought to be the first one through.
. . .
"Overthere! ?"
"Nope, just another locked door and a hideous pink door with two hearts plastered on it."
"I take it we need to go through the pink door first?"
"Yea, verily."
"oh shush Luvbi- the question wasn't directed at you!"
"Well excuseth me for imputing an answer!"
"Okay Luvbi, you wait by the locked door while we go investigate the pink one, m'kay?" Sonic ordered, pointing at the locked door for emphasis. "Stay!"
"Well fine! I knowest when I am not wanted! Hmph!"
Luvbi angrily floated over to the door, while everyone else planned to throw a "good job" party for Sonic at a future time. But for the moment, they entered the pink door.
. . .
"…Ick. It reeks of elderly in here!"
"The sinister stench of ancients!"
"The pungent odor of old people!"
"Have respect for the elders! Yeesh!"
Three, how you say, old hags resided in the pink room. The one toward the far left was dressed in blue and had dreads for hair, the one in the middle was in green and had a puffy old afro, and the one closest to the door was wearing magenta and had straighter hair than the others. The group that had just intruded on them exchanged uncertain glances.
"Erm…does one of them have the key?"
"That would be my guess…"
Mario walked up to the hag in pink and tapped her on the shoulder. She whirled around in a creepy manner and let out an equally creepy laugh.
"Eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh!"
Mario: O.o;
"I am Hagra, one of the ancient sisters three…The Underwhere crones! Mm…young ones, aren't you? And to where are you headed, young men?"
"We're trying to get to The Overthere, but we seem to keep running into several obstacles…" Tails explained. Mario added on to that with what their reasons were for going to the Overthere. Hagra looked thoughtful.
"You seek the Pure Heart, so you desire an audience with Grambi? Sounds serious…well, you are not the only one here with a problem, no…for I have one as well. Yes, I lent a certain book to a certain D-Man, you see…and now I need it back."
"Oh cool, so how do we get to the Over-"
"Bowser!"
"Could you find him and it back for me, you strapping young things?" Hagra finished, giving the males a pleading look.
Mario: I guess…
"Of course, stupid goodie- two shoes…" complained Bowser.
"Good, yes, good…Allow me to send you to where the D-Man in question is!"
"Wait, what-"
"And thanks for your help, yes…"
Hagra raised her arms over her head and closed her eyes, but unfortunately for her, when she closed her eyes, she only teleported Mario, Luigi, Bowser, and Ganondorf to the place where the D-Man was. For whatever reason, she had missed teleporting Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Eggman.
"Oh sure, forget about the ones that came from Mobius…" grumbled Sonic.
"The scary thought is, we outnumber everyone else by…well, more than we probably should…" Tails calculated. Sonic just shrugged.
"Well, whatever. Let's just see what the other hags have to say. Tails and Eggman can get the green one and Knuckles and I will talk to the blue one."
"We've got nothing better to do…" sighed Knuckles, heading off to Hagnes, and Eggman, heading off to talk to Hagitha.
With the Mario People + Ganondorf-
"Hey…where's Tails, Knuckles, and everyone else?" Luigi wondered.
"That old crone must have just teleported us to the D-Man and missed the others," Ganondorf decided.
"And we ended up all the way back down here," moaned Bowser dramatically, right after Mario obtained a Diet Book from the D-Man.
"a-At least we weren't brought all the way back to the beginning of Underwhere Road- just to the steps!" Luigi exclaimed.
"Yeah, don't jinx it…" trailed Ganondorf, following Mario back through the door.
With Tails and Eggman-
"Oh my Chaos we were sent all the way BACK TO THE BEGINNING! !"
"This is the last time I ever help out the elderly!"
"All this just to tell a guy to record a show? ! LUDICROUS!"
With Sonic and Knuckles-
"…I was a little red hot tamale back in my day…"
Sonic was lying on the floor on the verge of having a seizure while Knuckles was playing a card game with Sonic's plushie of Spike.
"Knuckles…if I don't make it-"
"Sonic, it's just a story!"
"I know, but it's really boring! I'd rather be sent back to the bottom of the Underwhere Road!"
With Tails and Eggman-
"I CAN'T BELIEVE WE HAVE TO GO ALL THE WAY BACK."
"This better be worth it in the end."
"IT PROBABLY WON'T.
With Mario, Luigi, Bowser, and Ganondorf-
"-and we've reached the top step!" Luigi cheered, jumping impressively from the top step to the platform to the top area. "See? That didn't take but a minor two minutes!"
"Hmph, whatever happened to you being a downer?" grumbled Ganondorf.
"I tend to switch depending on the situation."
"Well, in any case, let's just get this crummy book back to the hag…" sighed Bowser.
Mario: Uh-huh!
He entered through the door where Dorguy the Second had once greeted them, then returned to the area with the pink door, the locked door, and Luvbi. Luvbi gave them a bewildered look, but it went ignored by the returning group. When Mario entered…he definitely wasn't expecting Sonic to be twitching on the floor like it was some sort of new dance, or for Knuckles to be playing cards with a stuffed Yoshi. The worse part was that Knuckles was losing.
"I had…to suffer…and I only…got a thank you…in return!" Sonic wheezed, as if he had the living daylights beaten out of him rather than just being bored to death. Knuckles, meanwhile, took a peak at his opponent's hand and threw his cards on the floor.
"How in the world does a toy get a Royal Flush in a Poker game? !"
While Luigi, Bowser, and Ganondorf just looked on, Mario gave the book back to Hagra.
"Thanks for getting this, yes. Let me give you this as thanks, sonny! Eh eh eh eh eh! Good bye, young man!"
She handed Mario the key that unlocked the next door to The Overthere, and Mario thanked her as well. Luigi was trying to snap Knuckles out of the shock that he had lost to a stuffed animal while Ganondorf and Bowser used teamwork to haul Sonic up off the floor. Right as they were getting ready to leave, a frazzled Tails and calm Eggman came bursting through the door.
"We were sent back to the start…" Tails trailed while twitching.
"And we told that dorkish D-Man to record the show," huffed Eggman. Hagitha looked thoroughly please.
"Yes, yes, yes! Good show, boys!" she then grabbed Tails' arm, pulled him close, and whispered something in his ear. Tails' twitchy expression was quickly replaced with a thoughtful one.
"Huh…I guess that's good to know…"
"What did she say, exactly?" asked Luigi. Tails shrugged.
"I'll share when the time comes…but MAN! Do you know what we had to trek through? ! Ugh…"
"Well, it's all over now…" Sonic trailed with a shudder. "Can we please get to the Overthere now?"
Mario: Oh yeah.
. . .
Through the now unlocked door, the group continued on through the Underwhere Road, with Luvbi tagging along as well. And she was certain to start up on the insults she had been pondering over while she was left alone. Sonic, Knuckles, Ganondorf, and Luigi were having a hard time with it, but Mario managed to slightly push her off to the side and explained to Luigi that he needed to take control.
"How dareth you shoveth me out of the way! The nerve that thou have! I-"
"Why's that, Bro?" Luigi responded to Mario as Luvbi continued to ramble to the side. Mario pointed forward- there was a gap that the group couldn't cross. Now, if they had any member of Team ZAP, it would've been possible, but they didn't. Mario then pointed up- there was a series of cliffs they could use to get by, but only Team Luigi could get up there. "Okay, I see what you mean…Tails, Knuckles, we're taking control!"
"What's that?" Knuckles asked.
"Just head on up, Knuckles," Tails replied, flying up onto the hard-to-reach cliff while Luigi made it in one bound. Knuckles shrugged and jammed his fists into the side, climbing up rather quickly. The three of them then continued to follow Luvbi and Luigi jumped from cliff to cliff, Knuckles glided over all of them, and Tails flew over everyone. On the other side was a set of stairs that ascended upwards, and input from Luvbi revealed that they were finally getting near the Overthere.
"Finally!" groaned Knuckles.
"Uh, guys…" Luigi trailed, pointing to an oncoming rock. "We might have a slight problem…"
"All we have to is jump over-"
The darkness in the area suddenly consumed them all. Luigi and Tails exchanged a look in the dark before Tails flew up and grabbed Luigi, hoping that they managed to make it over. Knuckles, meanwhile, instinctively flashed his fist forward, making contact with the rock and shattering it into bits.
"Bowser! Light the place up again, darn it!"
"Fine! There is a nice way to tell people…"
Bowser lit up the nearest sconce once again, and the darkness was repelled by the single flame.
"good, we can see now…" Luigi sighed in relief.
"Yeah it's a good thing! That way we can see when danger is rolling right at us!" Tails exclaimed.
Team Luigi made it to the end, where Knuckles kept wanting to go forward. Luigi, however, noticed a second path above their heads while Tails explained that if they kept going forward, they'd fall off an edge.
"Besides, the way to The Overthere is by going up, yea?" Luvbi added. "It art obvious."
"Quiet Luvbi…" Knuckles growled as he followed Luigi and Tails upward, then slammed his fist into another rolling Thwomp. When they finally reached the top, Luigi removed control, and everyone else appeared beside them.
"Ah, that never gets old!" sighed Sonic.
"I still don't understand it! GWARG!" Bowser roared.
Mario told Luigi "good job", making his brother smile as he walked up to the door at the end of the path. Feeling that it was probably another Dorguy, Mario called forth Tippi and aimed her at the door.
"This door…it IS another Dorguy…"
"Oh no…travelers have come?" he questioned, his face appearing just like the previous doors. "Halt! Queen Jaydes demands I guard this, people! I am Dorguy the Third. I've gotta take a sec and see if you guys are worthy to pass through. Can I get a little…UNDERCHOMP? !"
"Did he just say Under-"
A Chomp with three heads, one red, one blue, and one yellow, appeared out of thin air, looking pretty restless.
"Aw, why couldn't there be a Green Chomp? Those are nice!" Luigi complained.
"There's no such thing as a Green Chomp!" snorted Bowser. Tails gave him a look.
"You wanna bet?"
Everyone else just gawked at the actually ferocious-looking Chomp creature. Dorguy chuckled to himself.
"If you folks are worthy of passing through, you should be able to beat this guy. Ready? ! GO!"
"He stole my li-"
The Blue Chomp charged forward at Sonic and Luigi, and suddenly the group found themselves being transported to a weird battle area.
"…I think we're taking turns!" Bowser suddenly exclaimed.
"Just like the old days!" "This is how REAL men fight!"
Underchomp attacks!
Mario used jump!
It wasn't very effective…
Sonic used Action Chain! But it failed!
Red Underchomp attacks Mario! Mario takes damage!
Blue Underchomp gathers strength!
Yellow Underchomp expels stinky breath!
Oh no! It's putrid! Sonic takes damage!
Luigi dodges the breath like a pro! But he can't attack!
Tails uses Piccolo!
Piccolo plays a strange song!
Underchomp falls into a deep sleep! Underchomp is taking a nice nap...
Knuckles uses Uppercut!
Blue Underchomp takes 10 damage!
Underchomp is taking a nice nap…
Bowser uses Thudley! A heavy-duty attack!
Red Underchomp takes 20 damage!
It's super effective!
You defeated Red Underchomp!
Ganondorf uses Warlock Kick!
Blue Underchomp takes 10 damage!
You defeated Blue Underchomp!
Eggman uses Missile Barrage!
Yellow Underchomp gets pwned! Yellow Underchomp takes 20 damage!
It's super effective!
You defeated Yellow Underchomp!
You defeated the Underchomp!
Team Mario receives 6000 experience points!
Team Luigi receives 6500 experience points!
Team BEG receives over 9000 experience points!
. . .
"Hey, check you folks out!" the Dorguy announced, obviously impressed. "You beat the Underchomp…good work. Head on in!"
"Well, it helped that Hagitha gave me that tip about using Piccolo," Tails pointed out.
"Pah, we could've beat those chump without singing them a lullabye!" scoffed Bowser.
Nevertheless, the group all celebrated and rejoiced, Mario making his way through and opening the door. When the group all piled in, they saw it was a tunnel of some sort…
"Look…I see a light!" "Don't go into the light!" "I think in this case we might need to."
"Hey wait…" Sonic trailed, looking upward. "I think that light is coming from the Overthere!"
"We're literally almost there now!" cheered Luigi. "Yeah!"
"Well what are we waiting for?" Ganondorf asked. "The faster we get there the faster we can get rid of Luvbi."
"And I willeth be very pleased," Luvbi added in a stuck up manner. "…simply because I will not hath to travel with thee any longer!"
Mario obeyed everyone's wish and hit the Star Block before they ascended into the heavenly light…
. . .
Our heroes had found their way out of the dark and confusion of The Underwhere. Mario and friends now saw the sun shining brightly against a beautiful blue sky. This was the sky paradise Grambi called home, a place of joy called The Overthere. Somewhere above the never-ending layers of clouds waited Grambi himself. Mario and his friends began to make their way up that fluffy road to above…
Finally not a filler chapter! Whew... but man I love this one! (And I know I say that pretty oftem. XD)
