The bandicoot,
After spending much time finding clones,
Must take the time to relax,
So he can final mission regarding the masks.
These clones are a copy of a girl...
...a girl who is the loveliest person
I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.
But I can't help that this girl may have
Switched over to the dark side, without me knowing.
Though her intentions appeared to have been changed,
Her cute and cheerful exterior pleasantly hasn't.
I'm starting to suspect whether or not
Her peers are well aware of her intentions.
My newest pupil, seems rather suspect as well...
Chapter 51: Boys' Day Out
After a day filled with finding clones, our heroes spent the next day with a little R&R. The ladies were chilling in Grantor's pool, and Cortex wanted to join them.
"Got any room for a handsome man like myself?" Cortex approached the ladies, wearing a speedo.
"No thanks, Uncle Cortex, we're good," replied Nina, unnerved by Cortex's unflattering choice of swimwear.
"Too late! CANNONBALL!" Cortex ran into the pool and jumped in it in cannonball position. The impact of the cannonball caused water to splash all over the place. Cortex came up out of the water...with his speedo lying on the water surface. "Why are you making those faces?" The N head saw that the ladies were grimacing.
"You don't have your speedo on!" said Pasadena, who was covering her eyes just in case.
"I've been wearing my speedo for so long, it's almost as if I can't feel it. So nice try Pasadena!"
Cortex saw his speedo floating on the surface. He blushed, grabbed his speedo, and put it on, before getting out of the pool and heading back inside the mansion.
Inside the mansion, Crash was playing chess with Riku, who implored Grantor with honey buns - the badger's favorite food - in order to get inside. The minions served as the spectators.
"Ooooh!" the minions awed in unison as Crash simply moved his pawn forward.
"Chill out, you guys, I just moved a pawn," said Crash.
"But I've never seen anyone move it with such grace and style!" remarked Roo.
Riku moved his bishop, putting Crash's king in check. The minions overrated, with some of them hyperventilating.
"Are you guys always like this?" asked Riku. The minions didn't answer his question; instead, they lifted the keyblade wielder on their shoulders and carried him around the mansion.
Suddenly the Mask Radar went off. It was absolutely music to Grantor's ears; he hasn't heard the radar sound in so long.
"It is finally time!" the badger ran down the stairs in a hurry, and grabbed the Mask Radar. "Get out of the mansion, we have important matters to discuss!" he told Riku.
"Don't mind me, I'll just go chill upstairs..." Riku made his way to the staircase, but Grantor showed him out of the door.
"Do not come back unless you have those honey buns!" ordered Grantor.
"Sure thing," Riku left the premises.
The Mask Radar suddenly began to die down, and Grantor grew discontent. He sighed, and placed the radar back where it was.
"Guess I'm coming back now!" Riku returned to the mansion, much to the chagrin of Grantor.
"I'll be in my room sulking if you need me," the badger grumbled as he departed to his room upstairs. Crash and Riku continued their chess match, with the minions spectating and overreacting to every chess move.
Tropy was at the Excalibur Bank, making a deposit. After making his deposit, he headed outside and ran into Slick, the gangsta rabbit, and Dribble Jay, the streetballer cat.
"What's good, cuz?" Slick gave Tropy some dap after recognizing the master of time. Tropy, who is lacking in street cred, made the dap awkward.
"Chilling in the cut?" asked Dribble Jay.
"The cut?" Tropy raised an eyebrow, then tried to play along if he could. "Oh yeah, I'm hanging in there."
"How are the folks?"
"They're doing fine, I guess..."
"What you don't keep in touch with your fam?" Slick questioned. "That's messed up, home dawg!"
"I've been adventuring for so long now, it's hard to keep in touch with everyone."
"Aight, aight, I hear ya, I understand!"
"So what are you boys up to? Trying to start some ruckus, I assume?"
"Nah, fam, we just having some fun," replied Dribble Jay. "We're heading off to the boardwalk in Ivoire, wanna come?"
"Would be a little refreshing to get away from the others...sure, I'll go."
"Tropy still hasn't returned from the bank," said Evelyn, who was playing a board game with Nina in the living room.
"Somebody probably mistook him for having a disease due to his skin complexion, and took him to the hospital," assumed Nina. "It has happened many times before."
The Mask Radar sounded again. Grantor rushed down the steps and once he got the radar in his hands...it went off immediately. The old badger grumbled to himself as he took the Mask Radar back to his room, in the event it sounded again.
"Tiny sees no ice cream bars!" Tiny looked in the freezer for ice cream bars, his favorite snack. "Tiny can't live like this!"
"It's okay, Tiny, they're just ice cream bars," Crash tried to comfort Tiny.
"TINY NEEDS ICE CREAM BARS! ICE CREAM BARS ARE TINY'S LIFE SOURCE!"
"So what you're saying is if you don't eat a single ice cream bar today, you'll die?"
"No, Tiny will run away and live his life as a hobo!"
"Yeah I think you'll be better off dead..."
"If you like, Tiny, we can buy the ice cream bars for you!" Kong said to Tiny.
"You and who else?" asked Tiny. Kong motioned over to Pinstripe, and the potoroo saw it.
"No, nuh uh, no way I'm going shopping again," Pinstripe protested.
"Pretty please?" Tiny was literally begging on his knees to the potoroo. "With a giant cherry on top?"
"Just do it, you'll probably never hear the end of it," said Evelyn. She has a very valid point.
"I'll go get my wallet," Pinstripe groaned as he headed to his room.
"Tee hee!" Tiny began clipping whilst jumping up and down like a little girl.
Kong and Pinstripe went to the supermarket, and were surprised to see that they were out of ice cream bars. But at least there were ice cream sandwiches! Right?
"We're not getting those," Kong said as Pinstripe picked up two boxes of ice cream sandwiches.
"Do you want to hear Tiny moan and complain?" questioned Pinstripe. "Besides, we can't go back to the mansion empty-handed, and these sandwiches are the closest things to ice cream bars if you ask me."
The two mutants walked down the aisle...and saw Strazio at the end.
"Aw crap..." the jumpsuit man thought as he ran away, with Kong and Pinstripe chasing him around the store. The mutants chased Strazio through the grocery aisles, the entertainment section, and even the garden center, breaking everything in sight.
"You break it, you buy it!" one of the store managers yelled at the mutants in the garden center. Kong responded by throwing a flower pot at his head, knocking him out. He and Pinstripe cornered Strazio in the garden center, right where they want him.
"Stand back, or I will use force!" the jumpsuit man whipped out his scythe, ready to attack if needed.
"We're not here to hurt you or anything," stated Kong. "We just want some answers."
"Why did you mess with the chosen ones at N. Sanity Island like that?" interrogated Pinstripe. "I'm sure the motive behind your actions was..."
"I had nothing to do with the N. Sanity Island incident!" defended Strazio.
"Aha! You said it was an incident, thereby hinting that you have some knowledge of what had transpired!"
"You must know about that Cortex guy urinating in a bucket during the whole situation!" said Kong.
"He was never urinating in a bucket, he was hiding in the shrubbery!" stated Strazio.
"So you DO know about...wait, how did you know if he was hiding in the shrubbery?"
"I was with him the whole time!"
"Look man, don't think you can pretend to be one of the three chosen ones and get away with it. We're on to you man..."
"Okay dude, just...leave me alone," Strazio walked past the mutants and continued on his way.
"We'll be always watching you! Like how a hawk watches its..."
"Ooh, a golden wheelbarrow!" Kong followed after an employee pushing a golden wheelbarrow.
"...prey."
At the boardwalk, Tropy was getting a tattoo...a temporary tattoo. The one you apply to your skin with a moist cloth. Slick and Dribble Jay were getting actual tattoos.
"Man you is a wimp!" Slick shook his head at the master of time, who was getting a clock tattooed to his arm.
"Better than having to deal with needles, I should say," remarked Tropy.
"Wimp..." Dribble Jay muttered. The needle, held by the tattoo artist, poked his fur, and all of a sudden... "AAAAHH IT BURNS! GET THAT DARN NEEDLE AWAY FROM ME, IT'S POISONOUS!"
"I can rest assure you he's faking it," Slick told Tropy. But the blue-skinned man didn't buy it.
After getting their tattoos done, the trio went down to the beach, and Slick and Dribble Jay were messing with the beach goers, while Tropy just watched.
"Why did I even agree to join them?" he thought to himself.
"What do you boys think you're doing?" a lifeguard approached the threesome.
"Tropy you our fall guy you handle the lifeguard!" Slick told Tropy as he and Dribble Jay scurried away.
"Wait, what?" Tropy looked around confused as the lifeguard approached him, and gave him one to the mouth.
Chantex was in his room getting his dragon nails painted (don't ask) when Inez entered. She was slightly unnerved by what was going on before her eyes.
"Just so you know, he stalked me around until I obliged to do this," the lady doing Chantex's nails told Inez. The blue jay just shook her head disapprovingly.
"I received a report from Iseult, who's leading the mission," Inez informed Chantex. "She said that Mount Hades erupted twice, and is doing significant damage in the surrounding areas."
"Are her and the students safe and sound?"
"Yes sir, she told me they're waiting on an island until the volcano cools down. Who knows how long that will be..."
"Do they have any provisions?"
"Luigi brought some food and drink, that should hold them over for the time being. Also, I sent one of my classmates to their location."
Luigi did bring provisions...some potato chips and a bottle of orange soda, which he brought only for himself. When he was told he was supposed to bring food and drink, the Taiwanese teen thought that he was bringing some for himself, and everyone else would get their own provisions. Now he was stranded on an island with his fellow classmates, who had great disdain for him right now.
"Should have been more specific about what to bring," was all Luigi would say as he ate his chips. His classmates were seething.
"We will all likely starve to death because of you," frowned Ilmari.
"Or because you didn't come prepared."
"Can't we just eat Luigi, he's pretty useless," suggested Xavier.
"We don't promote cannibalism, Xavier," Mildred replied sternly. "Even though Luigi's a nuisance, we must appreciate him for what he is."
"You tell him Mildred!" smiled Clyte, acting as happy and gleeful as ever.
"Are you always like this? Your happiness is a little creepy..."
"Look mateys, a rowboat heading in our direction!" Behrab pointed at a rowboat rowing at sea, coming towards the island. It was Keyon; those dreadlocks of his are recognizable from a far away. On the rowboat was a large backpack.
"Stay tight, mon, I'm almost there!" the Jamaican called out. A shark jumped out of the water and swallowed the rowboat whole. Keyon's classmates gasped.
"Did that shark, like, eat Keyon just now?!" Iseult looked on mortified. A pillar of fire rose up out of the water, and the shark with it; the shark fell back in the water, never to be seen again. Soon Keyon came swimming towards the island with the backpack over his shoulders, and once he reached land, pulled himself up on the sand and laid on his back, taking the backpack off.
"Silly shark thought he got himself a decent meal...but he immediately thought wrong! The power of fire overcomes any marine beast!"
"Hey Keyon, what's in the backpack?" asked Luigi.
"Glad you asked..." Keyon made his way to the backpack, and unzipped it. All sorts of goodies, such as bottled sodas and bag chips, poured out. "Brought some grub to hold you guys over!"
"Food!" Xavier grabbed as many bag chips and sodas as he could.
"Hold up now, Xavier," Iseult stopped the poison dart frog in his tracks. "You can't have all of this for yourself. We must divide the portions evenly among ourselves."
Xavier completely ignored Iseult and ran off with the chips and sodas, isolating himself from his classmates.
"This is going to be such a struggle," sighed Iseult.
Kong and Pinstripe returned from the supermarket, with the ice cream sandwiches in hand.
"These aren't Tiny's ice cream bars!" Tiny confronted the two.
"Deal with it," Pinstripe threw the box of ice cream sandwiches in Tiny's hands, and sat on the couch, next to Chick and Stew who were watching Baby First TV.
"Those squirrels kinda remind me of us!" said Stew, watching two squirrels toss an acorn around on TV (kudos if you know the program the chickens are watching...it's not like I do). "Great friends, always jovial..."
"Why do grown men like you watch this crap?" asked Riku, still playing chess with Crash.
"How dare he call this show crap!" Chick got ticked real quick. "Let's get him!" He and Stew were ganging up on Riku, trying to intimidate him. But the Keyblade wielder was unfazed.
"I'll just sit here and let you guys keep doing you," Riku returned to his chess match, ignoring the fowl reporters.
"Is he trying to promote incest or something?" Stew whispered to Chick.
"I don't think incest is the right word..." Chick whispered back.
"YES! YES! IT SOUNDED AGAIN!" Grantor yelled from upstairs, after the Mask Radar went off...only for it to die down yet again. "D'oh!"
"I'm afraid Grantor is on the verge of losing his mind," remarked Collator, reading a newspaper. "Crash, you might want to go check on him, see if he's sane."
Crash went up to Grantor's room to check on the elderly badger. Grantor cradled the Mask Radar in his arms, refusing to let go.
"You okay, Grantor?" asked Crash. "You've been acting very OOC lately, even for the standards of this story..."
"The Mask Radar, it goes on, and then it goes off!" said Grantor, sounding and acting like a crazed maniac. "It's toying with my mind, it's trolling me with every little chance that it gets!"
"Maybe we just need to take this radar away..." Crash approached Grantor, reaching for the radar, but Grantor pulled back violently.
"This is MINE! All mine!" he hissed.
"Yup, that's it, time to call the Fanfiction police," Crash pulled out his phone, and Grantor hissed even louder.
"Fanfiction police, how may we help you?" asked the voice on the phone after Crash dialed the number.
"Hello sir, I have a old badger and he's acting OOC. I was wondering if you could come by this mansion..."
Suddenly two police officers wearing blue and white uniforms warped inside the room, eating donuts - typical behavior of policemen.
"Well that was quick..." remarked Crash.
"What is the prognosis sir?" asked one of the police officers. Crash pointed at Grantor; a police officer restrained the badger, and tased him with a taser. But this was no ordinary taser - it's meant to make any character act normal again.
"Before we leave, we have to give you this," the other police officer gave Crash a ticket.
"What is this for?" Crash inspected the ticket.
"An offense for breaking the fourth wall. I would give you another ticket, but apparently my pen ran out of ink.
"Just use a pencil instead."
"No, we always write tickets in pen. It's the protocol."
"All done," the police officer with the taser said after tasing Grantor. The badger was back to normal, and was breathing calmly. "If you ever have another OOC crisis, you always have our number."
"Yes sir," Crash saluted the police officers as they vanished in thin air. Aku showed up in Grantor's room, feeling jovial.
"You should have been in the Komodo Bros room Crash, they were giving me and Uka the most splendid back massages!" he gleamed. Crash hit him with a questionable look. "It's not as weird as you think, us masks need massages too!"
"Oooh..." Grantor rubbed his head. "What just happened?"
"You went out of character and I had to call the Fanfiction Police on you," explained Crash. "And I also got fined for breaking the fourth wall."
"Serves you right," mumbled Aku.
"Said something?!"
"...Sorry to hear that you got fined, Crash!"
"I think you really need to put this thing away," Crash took the Mask Radar from Grantor and placed it in a drawer. "Sooner or later you'll become addicted to that thing...in fact, you're probably addicted already."
"My apologies Crash, it's just that I've been looking for those masks for such a long period of time," stated Grantor. "It wasn't until you and your friends showed up that I've been able to..."
"Sorry to interrupt, but do you know how the masks came to fruition?" asked Aku.
"There is a urban legend going about that Collator's race, the glounces, turned the eight Mavericks into masks for the protection and safety of the island. So far nobody knows how the glounces were able to pull of the human-to-mask process, and the legend is still being debated to this very day."
"We have discovered a new theory!" Dingodile ran inside Grantor's room. "Turns out the masks were created...by one individual!"
Crash, Aku, and Grantor collectively gasped.
"Wait, why did we gasp in unison like that?" pondered Grantor.
"Status quo, perhaps," replied Aku.
"Roo and I are still trying to piece everything together and find out who this person is, but we also find another building block in the theory," Dingodile went on. "The masks were created in this very city!"
"So the glounces didn't have anything to do with the masks," stated Grantor.
"Only thing they had to do was prophesy about it. Other species might have done the same thing."
The threesome of Tropy, Slick, and Dribble Jay returned to central Excalibur, and were heading to Brio's cafe. Tropy suffered a major beatdown at the hands of a lifeguard, and received a black eye as well as some aching bones.
"Thanks for being our fall guy Tropy!" thanked Dribble Jay.
"You boys better be glad you don't have to pay a hospital bill," mumbled Tropy.
"Whose hospital bill we paying?" questioned Slick. "I'm broke; spent all my dough on pretzel sticks!"
"Really dude?" exclaimed Dribble Jay. "I spent my money on multiple copies on the same video game! Kept one copy for myself and gave the rest to the homeless!"
"Did you get them gaming systems?"
"Nah, stealing the systems wasn't really worth the trouble."
"I'm surrounded by morons..." Tropy thought to himself. What has he gotten himself into?
The trio reached Brio's Deli, and entered. Business was booming as usual; Spike was the man at the cashier.
"Not these bozos again..." the spiky-haired monkey catcher mumbled at the sight of Slick and Dribble Jay. The deli employees have had their experiences with the former Brawl Masters competitors, and needless to say, all those experiences were horrendous. "How may I help you?"
"Give us some lemonade, boy!" Slick slammed his fist on the counter.
"So aggressive..." Spike shook his head. "Hey, Sweet Tooth, do we have any lemonade?"
"Nope we ran all out!" the clown called out.
"You didn't drink up all the lemonade, did you?"
"Now why would I do such a thing...woah, looks like we got some lemonade!"
"Please don't do what I think you're going to do in the cups..." Clank's voice was heard from the kitchen.
"Sorry for the inconvenience, you guys...if you like, I can get you all some..."
"You look here, home dawg!" Slick grabbed Spike by the collar. "Either you give us our lemonade, or we'll burn this place down to the ground!"
"By 'we' you're only referring to Dribble Jay and yourself, right?" Tropy asked nervously.
"Stop where you are!" Brio showed up, wielding his ray gun and pointing it at Slick. He was greatly surprised to see Tropy. "Tropy? Why are you hanging out with those chumps?"
"It's a long story," replied Tropy.
"Ah, never mind. Since that you're here, I want you to come with me, I have an intention that I'm working on."
Brio guided Tropy to his boss room, and displayed to him the very invention he was working on...a ray gun the size of his hand.
"Called me here for this?" frowned Tropy, not amused one bit.
"Hear me out!" pleaded Brio. "This invention will be able to not only make people forget their memory...but restore memories as well!"
"What does it need?"
"It needs power crystals, they're its source of power. Part of the reason I started this business is to accumalate money that can be contributed to crystal mining and research."
"So what's the other part?"
"I'm planning on using the rest of the money on an expensive new wig."
"Oooh...that's nice. How much longer are you going to work on it?"
"At this point in time, who knows. But this gun will be finished very, very soon..."
Xavier continued to eat the bags of potato chips, like no one was watching. Clyte confronted him.
"Mind if I take a seat?" she asked kindly.
"Go ahead, just don't touch anything," replied Xavier. Clyte sat down next to Xavier, and wrapped her arm around him. "...What are you doing?"
"Just showing my love and appreciation for you!"
"Show your love and appreciation somewhere else, I'm busy here!" Clyte got up and left. Xavier reach down for another bag of chips...but there was nothing there! He looked back at his classmates, and saw that they had the bags of chips and the drinks.
"Nice work Clyte!" Ilmari applauded Clyte for her efforts. Xavier just glared at his classmates.
"They will all pay..." he vowed.
End of Chapter 51
Coming up next...
Our heroes (hopefully) go to Mount Hades and retrieve the eighth and final mask. What dangers await for them?
