Disclaimer: "Smallville" and associated characters are the property of DC Entertainment and Warner Brothers and are used for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit. The song "Girl Crush" is performed by the band Little Big Town and appears without the permission of them or their record label.
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"Obsessing"
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'
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I've been told that the first sign of a crush is that you find yourself always thinking about them, about what they might be doing, who they might be with... if that's the truth, I'm in a situation I never thought I'd find myself. If that's the truth, then I've got a crush on a girl. I'm pretty sure it's not true, though. It's her boyfriend that I've got the actual crush on. I just keep thinking about her because she's with him and that makes me think of what she might be doing with him, where they might be together...
I try not to think about it as 'what she might be doing with him and where they might be doing it', because I'm not sure I want to actually think about the possibility that certain definitions of that could imply.
I think about the way she dresses and the way she smells, the way her hair is longer than mine and sometimes I start to have... crazy ideas, you could call them; ideas like kissing her just to see if her lips taste like him, or blindfolding him and covering myself in her perfume and hoping that he can't tell the difference between us. They're crazy, those ideas, which sometimes makes me start to wonder about myself; if I'm having ideas and they're crazy, does that mean that I'm crazy myself? And if I am crazy, have I always been that way or did developing a crush on him drive me that way... or was it having a crush on him and never being more than the 'girl best friend' while she became his 'best girlfriend' that drove me crazy?
If it makes me feel crazy, is it really a crush or is it actually an obsession that I've got with him?
I don't know, all I know is that there's a part of me, a part of me that I never realised just how big it was growing, that wants to be like her, maybe even be her. Long hair, reserved attitude, a loner...
Maybe then he'd love me just as much...
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Author's Notes; My earliest notes for this story were "Smallville "Girl Crush" Chloe re: Alicia/Clark", somewhere along the line it changed from a simple jealousy short to a character piece on Chloe's feelings when Clark was with Alicia, especially during the early parts of Season Three's "Obsessed", though that isn't specifically stated in the story.
