Chapter 76 – Guilt
After talking to the Judge, answering all his questions, Don Alejandro spent all night fretting about it, as it was obvious Ernesto would suspect Diego was Zorro, especially after the previous trial and now having Cristina dying to protect him.
The Judge would return to check on Diego, but he could not allow that man talking to his son while he was on that state on mind, because to purge his perceived guilt and responsibility of killing Cristina by creating Zorro, Diego might willingly confess to be Zorro so he could be arrested and executed.
In the morning, Don Alejandro prepared a bowl of soup with a large amount of laudanum in it. When Diego woke up, looking confused and still very sleepy, he encouraged him to eat the soup. Initially he was reluctant to eat anything, but in the end he did, as a small child would, as Don Alejandro forced spoon after spoon into his mouth despite his weak protests. Shortly after, Diego fell back into a deep sleep, right on time when Ernesto Sauras came back to the hacienda.
"Good morning, Don Alejandro. Can I talk to your son now? Is he awake?"
"Good morning, Señor Sauras. I'm sorry, but Diego is still asleep. You can come in and check on him if you want to, but he won't talk to you."
Ernesto came inside, and Don Alejandro took him back to Diego's room. He checked on him, as it was true: Diego was still unresponsive.
"He should be awake by now," Ernesto said. Then, he noticed a bowl on the bedside table. He took it to sniff the remains of soup at the bottom. "What's this?"
Don Alejandro blushed, and hesitated for a moment.
Come on, Don Alejandro. Don't do this to yourself, Ernesto thought, amused. Don't lie, please.
"That's his breakfast. He ate a little bit and went back to sleep."
Ernesto dipped his finger in the bowl, and then licked it.
"It tastes like laudanum. Did you give more medicine to your son this morning?"
"Yes, I did," Don Alejandro said, giving up, realizing lying to that man would get him nowhere. "Doctor Hernández advised to keep administering the laudanum for a few days, to keep Diego calmed and rested. We are afraid he may try to commit suicide again."
"I see. Please, don't give him anymore until I talk to him, Don Alejandro. Otherwise —"
"Yes," he interrupted, annoyed. "I will be accused of obstructing the course of Justice. I know the drill, thank you."
Ernesto chuckled inwardly.
"Good. I'll be back in the evening then. Hasta luego."
ZZZ
"Victoria, can I talk to you for a moment?" Don Alejandro said in the afternoon. Diego was still asleep, and Victoria was by his side, watching over him.
"Yes of course," she said. "Where? Here?"
"No, I think it would be better if we go to another room." He didn't want to risk Diego hearing that conversation.
They left Diego alone and walked to the study. Don Alejandro closed the door behind them.
"Please, take a seat," he said, holding the back rest of a chair for her. When she did, he sat down in front of her. "Sorry for the secrecy, but I really would like to know your intentions, Victoria. Sorry if I come across as too blunt, because you may think this is none of my business, but obviously, now I know you loved Diego, as himself and as Zorro, and I also know he loved you too. Every time I see you close to him, I have to wonder: do you have the intention to get involved in a relationship with my son now that he is a widow?"
Victoria immediately blushed red as a ripe tomato. Was that the question in everybody's mind then, and not only in hers?
"Please, Don Alejandro, don't. Don't ask me that. The whole thing is too embarrassing. I should have known Diego was Zorro. I really should."
"So did I. I should have known, the same as you, so don't worry about it."
"I haven't come to terms with that yet. I could bang my head on a wall a million times for not realizing before." She was looking down to the floor, mortified.
"He was too good to carry on his deception. I know, we were such fools," he said, tapping her knee gently, smiling. "But please, tell me: do you, or do you not want to get involved with Diego now?"
"I… I… I don't know. Cristina asked me to act like a mother to Sofía. Actually, she told me I should look after him and create a new family, but I'm not sure about that. Obviously, he's not ready, and I don't think he will be for a long, long, time," she paused for a moment, twisting her hands over her lap. "And I'm not ready either. I'm too embarrassed now for a relationship with him to work."
"Well, don't be. You saw his reaction yesterday, and how he has behaved since Cristina passed away. He is deeply disturbed, and I'm really concerned he may try to kill himself. Getting involved with him may not be an outrageous idea under the circumstances, Victoria, if that brings him back to the land of the living and gives him something to look forward to."
"I don't know, Don Alejandro. It may backfire in a really bad way if it makes him feel guiltier about Cristina."
"Yeah, there is that as well… Hum. I don't know then."
They kept silent for a while, both lost in thought, thinking on the pros and cons of such a risky move.
"I think I'll be there for him just as a friend at the moment. I don't want to rush into anything and make matters worse. I also feel bad about Cristina, as if I'm taking advantage of her death, as a vulture would do. The same as him, I'm not ready for a relationship right now. I would like to, but I'm not."
"I think you are right. Sorry, I can't think straight. I just wanted to know your intentions, Victoria, that's all. Let's go back with him, shall we?"
ZZZ
Ernesto spent the rest of the day gathering more information about the events, talking to different witnesses. In the late afternoon, accompanied by the alguaciles, he paid a visit to Don Miguel at his hacienda.
"Good afternoon, Don Miguel. I am Ernesto Sauras, the appointed Judge of Monterey. I'm here to investigate the murder of the former alcalde Ignacio de Soto, and the circumstances surrounding the death of the new alcalde, Gabriel Salamanca, whose real name was Roberto Malpartida. This is a search warrant to look for evidences in your property," he said, producing a piece of paper. "I hope you will collaborate in the investigation."
"Yes, of course, come in," Don Miguel said, opening the door wide to let them inside. He was nervous, but tried to display a calm he didn't feel. "How can I help you?"
"Let's start with the basics. What was your relationship with the alcalde?" Ernesto said while the alguaciles searched the house.
"Relationship? None, other than courtesy to the authority figure in this pueblo. I hardly knew the man. I have been a resident in Los Angeles only for a few months. I didn't really know the former alcalde either."
"I understand you visited the alcalde at the garrison when he was sick, after being injured with an arrow."
"Yes, I did, and so did many other citizens at that time. It was a polite, courtesy call to show interest in his recovery."
Don Miguel was nervous, fidgeting while answering the questions, and it was too obvious for Ernesto he was lying.
"What made you buy all those properties in this territory? Why did you move to Los Angeles?"
"I wanted to create the largest ranch in the area. That was my intention, and it still is."
"How would you do that? The properties you bought are not connected."
Don Miguel hesitated, with his mind blank.
"Were you involved in any way with the attacks to the De la Vega and Blasco haciendas?"
"No. Absolutely not. I offered to buy their properties first, but as they didn't want to sell, I bought the others, with the hope they would reconsider at some point."
"What about poisoning the water in Don Manuel's and Don Pedro's?"
"I don't know anything about that. During the trial, it was clear the De la Vegas had done it, as they had the poisoning stones in their property, where the soldiers found them."
Don Miguel was sweating profusely by then, and his confidence was diminishing greatly with every new question. I should have left this forsaken pueblo ages ago, he thought.
"The arsenic stones could have been planted there. It would not be the first time in criminal history someone has been blamed and convicted of a crime based on false proof," Ernesto said. Watching Don Miguel's reactions to his questions was enough to convince him he was involved in the whole plot, and he was guilty. But now he would have to prove it.
Ernesto carried on with the questioning, and then walked around the house, looking intently for anything useful. The alguaciles had not found anything abnormal to report, but he wasn't so sure. He always liked to check personally in case they would miss anything. For example, with a quick glance he realized the property was unkempt and filthy, and he didn't see any servants around.
"Where are your servants? Don't you have a house maid and a cook, at least?"
"I did. But they left. I have been looking to employ more service, but I've been unable to find anybody suitable. If you know someone, please let me know," Don Miguel said quickly, with a forced smile. The truth was Roberto's men had been self-sufficient while staying in the house, so they didn't need to employ anybody that later on could become a witness of their criminal activities if anything went wrong. Alfredo was glad it had been the case, or the maid could be talking right then about a bunch of rough-looking men who used to hide in a secret room whenever anybody visited the hacienda.
"Yes, I will, of course," Ernesto said with a similar false smile. "What about your ranch hands? Don't you have cattle? Or crops?"
"Yes, I do. In the other haciendas. I have to establish myself first before I can expand in the cattle market," he said, sweating again. Please, Lord, let this torture be over soon, he prayed.
"I see. So, you live here alone in this large house... Well, sorry for troubling you, Don Miguel. I'll carry on with the investigation as I can't see anything significant in your property at the moment. I will need to check your other properties as well. Just a reminder: you are not allowed to leave Los Angeles under any circumstances while this investigation takes place. If you do, you will be considered a fugitive from justice. Is that clear?"
"Yes, it is. But I am not going anywhere. Please, let me know if you need anything else. I'll be glad to help you in the investigation."
"Thank you. Good night, Don Miguel."
"Buenas noches."
It was already getting dark when they left, heading back to the hacienda De la Vega.
"This man is dirtier than a cesspool. This is going to be fun," Ernesto said to the alguaciles on the way there.
ZZZ
"Good evening Don Alejandro. I hope I can talk to your son now," Ernesto said.
"Yes, come in. He is awake now. He is having dinner."
"No more laudanum in the soup?"
"No," Don Alejandro said, irritated. "Of course not. Follow me."
They walked to Diego's room again. Victoria was there, feeding Diego a vegetable purée with a spoon because he still had both hands covered with the dressings. Besides, he was awake but he wasn't his usual self, and he wasn't up to the task to use a spoon to feed himself.
"Good evening, Don Diego. How are you feeling?" Ernesto said.
"I'm all right. Thank you," Diego said slowly, with an empty stare. Then he looked at Ernesto intently, narrowing his eyes. "Do I know you? You look familiar."
"This is Ernesto Sauras, Diego. You met him a couple of years ago, as a navy auditor investigating the death of Victoria's husband. He's been appointed Monterey Judge now."
Diego didn't say anything for a while, looking at Ernesto blankly again.
"Oh, yes. Right. He sells spoons at the market."
Bewildered by his answer, Ernesto shook his head and then started questioning Diego.
Don Alejandro watched his confused son trying to follow the conversation they were having about the events. He always answered vaguely and slowly, uninterested, yawning from time to time, looking tired. He was behaving now in a similar way he did when he damaged his head: slow, and unable to process any information. The old don decided then to stop giving Diego the laudanum and let him go back to his usual self, even if that meant to tie him to the bed so he would not try to harm himself again, and gag his mouth so he would not confess his secret identity to the Judge. Thankfully, Diego didn't mention anything about being Zorro, and Ernesto didn't ask about it either.
After a short while Ernesto gave up, frustrated. He excused himself, and got out of the room. Then he addressed Don Alejandro at the entrance.
"Don Alejandro, I'm afraid your son is still under the effects of his medication. Please don't administer anymore until I can have a real conversation with him. It is important that I do."
"Don't worry. It hurts to see him like this. It is a painful reminder of his mental status after he damaged his head and got amnesia. I don't want him to revert to that stage, not at all. Hopefully, he will be more alert later and he can answer all your questions."
"Yes, I hope so. I'll be back tomorrow evening then."
ZZZ
Don Miguel moved the table in the middle of the lounge out of the way, and then lifted the large Persian rug. On his knees, he opened the concealed door on the floor.
"Armando! Come on. It's time for you to find that damn cave!"
Armando was ready, and came out of the secret room quickly.
"Yes, of course it's time. I heard lots of footsteps before. What happened?"
"The Judge from Monterey was here with the alguaciles, asking questions. We don't have much time. You either find something over the next couple of days, or we'll have to leave empty handed. But it may be already too late to leave. The Judge threatened to declare me a fugitive from justice if I leave Los Angeles while he is conducting the investigation. And I won't get far without any money, as I spent it all buying this blooming land that I have to leave behind now!"
"Don't worry about that. They like threatening people with that so they cooperate. But you are right, if I don't find the treasure tonight, or tomorrow, we are leaving."
ZZZ
"Diego, how are you feeling today?" Don Alejandro asked in the morning when he saw him awake, alone in his room.
Diego was sitting up in bed, looking at the window. He turned his head and looked at his father with troubled eyes, not showing that unsettling blank stare anymore. Instead, his eyes were alive and bright, but red, and dim with tears.
"How do you think, Father?" he said in a harsh tone, upset. "Like shit. I feel like shit."
"Don't talk like that. I know how you feel, Diego, but you have to —"
"What do you know?" Diego interrupted, annoyed by his patronizing tone. "You have no idea!"
"Well, tell me then," Don Alejandro said, gently. He waited a few seconds, but Diego didn't say anything, turning his head to the window again to avoid his eyes.
"Diego, I know you are hurting, a lot, but you cannot carry on like this. Even if I would like to, I can't keep you drugged with the laudanum all the time. On the other hand, I'm afraid you may try to hurt yourself again, so maybe I'll do, even if get in trouble with the Judge for doing that."
"Is that what you gave me in that soup? Laudanum? No wonder I couldn't think straight yesterday."
"Yes, doctor Hernández left a bottle after you cut yourself with Zorro's sword."
"Don't mention that name, please."
"Diego, the Judge is investigating what happened here. He is going to ask you about Zorro, for sure, so I hope you don't do anything stupid. Don't give yourself up, please."
Diego was still looking at the window, not facing his father.
"He already knows I'm Zorro, so don't worry about it."
"What do you mean? Why is he not saying anything then?"
Diego sighed deeply and looked at his father again. It was pointless trying to avoid a conversation with him.
"Look, I think he already knew at the hearing but he let me alone, for whatever reason. And if he didn't know then, I'm sure he knows now. Even a blind man would realize now, after Cristina…" He stopped talking and burst into tears again. Ashamed, he tried to wipe them with the bandages covering his hands. Don Alejandro rushed to his side.
"Diego, please, don't torture yourself like this. Let it go. It wasn't your fault."
"It was my fault! I am the one that should be dead! Not her!" he cried. Don Alejandro held him by the shoulders, shaking him to stop the nonsense.
"Stop it! Think about Sofía, please. She needs you more than ever. Do you want her to become an orphan? Is that what you want?"
Diego looked at him through the tears, shaking his head.
"Stop thinking about dying then, and focus, please! It wasn't your fault. Cristina told you that, several times. I heard her."
"I should have killed the bastard, but I didn't!"
Don Alejandro let go of him and started pacing the room, until he stopped by the side of the bed again. Like Victoria, he felt like banging his head on a wall.
"Look. Doctor Hernández told me he feels guilty because he shouldn't have treated him, and then that son of a bitch would have died from his injuries. Mendoza thinks it is his fault because he didn't find Roberto sooner, and because he didn't kill him immediately after you mentioned the name, right before he shoot. Francisco thinks it is his fault because he couldn't open the secret door when he had to, and then he had to run all the way to the house instead, because otherwise he would have blown Roberto's brains out with the gun. And I feel guilty too, because I should have travelled faster to Santa Barbara. One less siesta along the way would have been enough to come back on time to avoid it. Can't you see? It is everybody's and nobody's fault at the same time! So stop blaming yourself, please."
"You can't be serious. How could that be your fault?" Diego said through the tears.
"Precisely. Because it's not. It's nobody's fault. God works in mysterious ways, Diego. Maybe He had a plan. We'll see." Victoria, where are you? I could do with some help here.
"Damn Him and His plan then!"
"Diego!" the old don exclaimed, shocked, making the sign of the cross on himself. "How can you say that?"
"Sorry, Father. I just need to be alone, please. Just leave me alone for a moment. Get out, close the door, and leave me alone. Please."
"No. I can't," Don Alejandro said, shaking his head firmly. "I'm not leaving."
"I'm not going to do anything, Father. Of course I don't want to leave Sofía an orphan. But I need to be alone, please, to calm down, and then I would like to see her. I have neglected her during the last week, as I did when I forgot about her, and I feel really bad about it. Let me cry all the tears I need to cry now, alone, and then I'll smile for her. I don't want her coming here to see me like this."
"All right, Diego. I'll wait outside. Take your time, and tell me when you are ready."
ZZZZZ
