A/N: Three things. 1) I wrote this chapter before I read any of your
reviews! 2) Galadriel's first comment is a real comment made by Guardian of
Tears whilst half listening to me explain what happens in this chapter. And
3) I've been asked to humiliate myself in front of you all. And the only
reason I'm doing so is coz I'm sick to death of getting it in the neck from
GoT about. Some of you may know I have a fear of birds. I'm really quite
scared of them. And the reason I'm scared is because just before the easter
holidays earlier this year, a pigeon flew into my head. Yes, into my head.
And it bloody hurt. And since then, they all swoop at me and ducks go after
me dinner! If you want any more info, email me!
Luvs Elfie xXxXx
PS. This chapter is quite long, but I'm making up for the lack of updates for Eru knows how long! PPS. I don't care that they didn't have technology and stuff. This is my fic and I'll do what I want, so ner! *sticks tongue out* PPPS. Gandalf is purposely not in this chapter.
Chapter 45
Legolas looked around the gathering. Every single person had a grim face, but it was nothing compared to what he felt. His grief was so intense that he was slowly but surely deteriorating. He ate one meal a day and drank little. Many people were beginning to worry about him. His face, which was before handsome and full of life, was now ashen and full of sorrow. He felt, also, tremendous guilt. They had ended so badly. 'If only.' he thought.
Pippin felt the same kind of emptiness, though it was impossible for a hobbit to stop eating. In fact, he had actually gained weight due to comfort eating. He was still in denial. She couldn't be gone. She just couldn't. She was Chrissy. Tough as old boots and could withstand anything. She couldn't be gone.
Éomer was surprised at the turn out. He knew a few people from Rohan would show up, but he hadn't expected the whole population. He secretly wondered if they were here to mourn or celebrate her death.
Éowyn was having a hard time keeping a straight face. She knew she should be sad and in mourning, but she couldn't hide the big grin on her face. Even though apologies had been made on both parts, neither had actually forgiven the other. She did feel bad, although, when she let out a rather loud: "YAY!" and started giggling. She had to be escorted out. She later blamed it on too much wine, though everyone knew she hadn't had a drop.
Aragorn stood up. He now had to make a speech about Christina. It wasn't easy, as he knew hardly anything about her, but with Éomer and Legolas' help, he soon had a speech good enough to bore everyone into a deep stupor.
"Christina was an interesting character," he began. "Many different people saw many different sides to her. The majority of us gathered here saw possibly the worst side of her. Sarcastic, arrogant, boastful, intimidating. But some of us also saw the love and kindness she was capable of." Legolas smile din her memory. "To Legolas she was a loving partner who, even though a little controlling, had no regrets of her love for him. To Peregrin she was a best friend. Considerate and caring. She looked after him, like a mother would her child, and was devastated when the time of their parting came. I saw her at work in battle. Fearless and brave. Fighting not only for her own country, but for Gondor too. She died at war- " At this point Galadriel snapped her head up. She found Aragorn boring (but strangely attractive) at the best of times, but she was also drunk, so she was nearly asleep.
"What?" she said, loudly. "Died a whore?" Everyone (except Legolas) had to try and hide a smile at that. They all knew how pervy Christina's mind was, so that remark was rather fitting.
"No dear," said Celeborn, slowly. "Died. At. War."
"Ohh," she said, and then went back to ignoring Aragorn. Aragorn looked around the room. He was nowhere near finished, but he figured he's made his point.
"Look, do you want me to finish," he asked, "or do you want to skip straight to the food?" The four hobbits faces lit up.
"FOOD!" they cried in unison. They all stood up to run to the buffet table, but Legolas grabbed the back of Pippin's shirt and roughly re-seated him.
"You're meant to be mourning," he hissed angrily. Galadriel suddenly stuck her head between them.
"Mooning?" she said, with a broad grin on her face. "Who's mooning? Is it Aragorn?" Complete horror was on the faces of Aragorn, Arwen, Legolas and Pippin. Arwen marched over to her grandmother and slapped her.
"That's my husband!" she shouted.
"I'm your grandmother!" cried Galadriel, hitting her back. On the realisation that her grandmother was hitting on her husband, Arwen ran away screaming.
"That's disgusting," said Legolas.
"That's disgusting," repeated Pippin.
"That's just plain damn nasty!" said Aragorn and then went to find Arwen. Galadriel shrugged and went over to the food table.
Legolas sighed miserably. The wake was turning into a circus. Galadriel and Gimli were drunk, the hobbits were stuffing their faces with food (as usual), Aragorn had gone to find Arwen, Celeborn was trying to make Galadriel behave and everyone else were just having freakish conversations. 'I'm so sorry, Christina,' he thought.
He looked around the room to see if anyone was being at least semi- normal or having a semi-normal conversation. No one was. He picked up on the conversation between Galadriel and some Elves of Lórien.
"And I said to her: 'Christina, you have elvish ancestry. Your great- grandmother was my sister.' And do you know what she said?" asked Galadriel.
"No, ma'am," they said, monotonously.
"She said me, and this is the Eru's honest truth, this is what she said. She said this to me. Me. Lady Galadriel. Me. As in me. The Lady of the Golden Wood. She said this. She-"
"Just get on with it!" cried Haldir. He received a hard slap for that.
"Don't rush me!" she shouted. "I'm your superior! Anyway, she to me: 'So you mean I'm a sort of diluted Elf?' and I was like 'Okaaaaay then, but yeah.' And that's how she found out she had elvish lineage."
"I don't mean to sound rude, ma'am," said a young Elf (well, young for an Elf, anyway), not noticing the winces from the others. "But, we were talking about archery." A few seconds later, that Elf was flying across the room.
Pippin was in the midst of eating four cakes at once, when he turned to Legolas.
"Do you think Chrissy would be happy with the way this is all going?" she said.
"NO!" said Legolas, not believing that question had just been asked.
"I thought you might say that," he said.
"AAARRRGGGHHH!!!" sounded across the room. "MY RING ID GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!" Galadriel was staring at her hand.
"No calm down, dear," said Celeborn, slowly (in that really patronizing voice used on old peeps). ""When did you last have it?"
"When I was getting a drink," she sobbed. Then her eyes lit up and she ran over to the buffet table. "I think I dropped it in the punch!" Everyone in the room looked down at the cups in their hands, grimaced and put the cups down. Galadriel plunged her hand into the punch bowl and started fishing around in it. Pippin, who was standing next to her, started choking.
"MY RING!" she shouted. "GIVE IT BACK!" She picked him up, turned him upside down and started shaking him.
"HHHEEELLLPPPPP!" he jittered.
"Cough it up!"
"HELP!"
"I want my ring!" Then she stopped and dropped him on his head.
"OOWWW!"
"How regular are you?" she asked.
"EWWW! Nan!" cried Arwen.
"What?" said Galadriel, innocently. "I want my ring."
"I am very regular," said Pippin, proudly.
"PIPPIN!" said Merry, in the 'disgraced mother' voice. "We don't want to hear the details of your toilet habits. So please quit telling us."
"1) I wasn't telling you, I was telling Lady Galadriel. 2) She asked. And 3) You already know my toilet habits, so stop asking disgusted," said Pippin. Merry blushed slightly.
"Well, I don't want to wait that long anyway," said Galadriel. "Anyone got a scalpel on them?"
"ARGH!" Pippin dived behind the other three hobbits.
"You're not going to do anything to our Pip!" said Merry, defiantly.
"I cannot allow it either," said Aragorn. "As he is still a knight of Gondor."
"I wish Chrissy was here!" said Pippin, ignoring the other two that were sticking up for him. "She wouldn't let anything happen to me if she was here!"
"Well she's not here, is she?!" snapped Legolas. "She's dead. She's not coming back! We've all just got to get on with our lives." He marched over to the buffet table poured a glass of wine and knocked it back. Everyone watched in silence. He had a point.
"Legolas is right," said Aragorn. "We're gathered here to say our final goodbyes to her. Not to bicker and argue and threaten young hobbits. So, let us raise our glasses in her memory. To Christina!"
"TO CHRISTINA!"
Meanwhile, Christina was looking into a scrying pool. The look on her face darkened as each second passed.
"Not happy," she growled. She was in the Halls of Mandos. She was quite happy were she was (that moment not included), the Halls was quite a cool place to be, but it got quite boring now and then. So, from time to time, she had a look in the scrying pool to see what her old friends were doing. She had found out a few days previously about her burial and decided it was a definite must. The burial went quite well, but the wake was a disaster.
She was immensely angered when Galadriel had called her a whore, implied she was a freak, shook an upside down Pippin violently and then dropped him on his head. She was extremely worried about Legolas. He looked very ill. 'He'll be joining me soon if he' not careful,' she thought grimly. And she was thankful to Aragorn for trying to restore some order and sombreness to the funeral feast.
She looked down again. 'So much for order,' she thought. Aragorn appeared to now be playing some variation of 'tag' with the Lórien Elves. Legolas gave up.
"Fuck it, I'm getting pissed!" he said. The four hobbits, Aragorn and Gimli all looked at him. "What? Can't a guy swear when he' depressed?"
"But you never swear," said Sam, timidly.
"I do now!"
"It's extremely hot in here," said Gimli, changing the subject completely. Then his eyes flashed and he started doing some horrid, scary little 'dance' thing.
"It's gettin' hot in herre! So take off all your clothes!" On 'your' he pointed at Galadriel. She considered it for a moment and then proceeded to do so. Celeborn leapt in front of her, arms spread, trying to block her from view.
"Nothing to see here!" he cried. All heard a dull 'thud'. Galadriel had fallen over and was now asleep.
"Ok then." said Celeborn. Gimli shrugged and continued.
"I am feelin' so hot! I wanna take my clothes off!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried the entire assembly, shielding their eyes. Suddenly crying Elf children (A/N: Yes, I know there not meant to be seen, but hey, this is me! I do odd things!) appeared from no where. Everyone looked down.
"Awha?" was the general reaction. They disappeared as quickly as they had appeared (A/N: ACK! It's a Clare moment!). "Strange."
Christina couldn't take anymore. Gimli threatening to take his clothes is enough for anyone, especially a fragile, clean-minded, young virgin. Er... yeah, right.
"Got to find Mandos!" she said. She ran quickly through the Halls, stopping briefly every now and then to a) be told off for running and disturbing the peace (to which she replied 'get stuffed') or b) to ask if anyone had seen him. She eventually found him looking in another scrying pool.
"Mandos! Please!" she pleaded, hands clasped. This wasn't the first time she'd asked.
"I'm sorry, Cristaniel," he replied. "But homesickness is not a reasonable excuse."
"But it's utter chaos down there!" she cried.
"It normally is," he said.
"There's a dwarf threatening to do a strip tease!" Mandos' eyes widened.
"EWWWW! OK, you can go! But only for 5 minutes. Got that? FIVE minutes. I was in need of a laugh anyway."
"YAY! Thank you so much!" She gave him a kiss on the cheek. He fainted. "Well, will you look at. Dammit, I made him faint. I'm just going to have to set the timer myself."
She entered a room not far from where Mandos lay. It was a sort of reception thing, but with no desk and no receptionist. It was where the newbies were met. It was rarely used the other way. The timer on the wall was set at zero.
"Hmm," she mused, "I guess that's the timer. I wonder how it works. I've never been told. Ooh, there's lots of buttons. I wonder what that one does." She pressed a large red button. The timer immediately said 24:00. "Oops, I set it for 24 hrs. Mandos is going to be reeeeeeeally angry... oh well."
"I wonder what happens when you die," said Pippin.
"I dunno," said Merry.
"Do you think there'll be a garden I can tend to?" said Sam.
"I dunno," said Merry.
"DO you think there'll be stuff I can write with?" said Frodo.
"I don't know," said Merry, more forcefully.
"I wonder if there will be things I can chop up," said Gimli.
"I DON'T KNOW, DAMMIT!" shouted Merry.
"Calm down, Merry," said Aragorn. "They weren't actually asking you. They were rhetorical questions."
"Reto-what?" said Merry.
"Rhetorical," repeated Aragorn. "Questions that aren't asked to be answered."
"Er, right," said Merry.
"It's getti'-" started Gimli.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried Sam. "No! NONONONONONONO! Not again! I can't take it!"
"I was going to say it's getting dark," said Gimli.
"Yeah, right," muttered Pippin.
"What's the definition of 'transmogrification'?" said Galadriel, suddenly.
"Eh?" said Aragorn.
"What's the definition of 'transmogrification'?" she repeated.
"I have absolutely no idea," said Aragorn. "Why on Middle Earth do you want to know that?"
"I want to go to sleep," she said, and fell to the floor for the tenth time or something like it. Celeborn went to her side and picked her up. "EWWW! Get off me!" She slapped him.
"I'm your husband!" he said, indignantly.
"Only when I want something!" He dropped her.
At that moment, the door opened with a loud 'BOOM!' It was practically blown off its hinges. Dust arose from the surrounding furniture and a loud voice from beyond the door astounded them all.
"WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO MY WAKE?!?!?!"
Luvs Elfie xXxXx
PS. This chapter is quite long, but I'm making up for the lack of updates for Eru knows how long! PPS. I don't care that they didn't have technology and stuff. This is my fic and I'll do what I want, so ner! *sticks tongue out* PPPS. Gandalf is purposely not in this chapter.
Chapter 45
Legolas looked around the gathering. Every single person had a grim face, but it was nothing compared to what he felt. His grief was so intense that he was slowly but surely deteriorating. He ate one meal a day and drank little. Many people were beginning to worry about him. His face, which was before handsome and full of life, was now ashen and full of sorrow. He felt, also, tremendous guilt. They had ended so badly. 'If only.' he thought.
Pippin felt the same kind of emptiness, though it was impossible for a hobbit to stop eating. In fact, he had actually gained weight due to comfort eating. He was still in denial. She couldn't be gone. She just couldn't. She was Chrissy. Tough as old boots and could withstand anything. She couldn't be gone.
Éomer was surprised at the turn out. He knew a few people from Rohan would show up, but he hadn't expected the whole population. He secretly wondered if they were here to mourn or celebrate her death.
Éowyn was having a hard time keeping a straight face. She knew she should be sad and in mourning, but she couldn't hide the big grin on her face. Even though apologies had been made on both parts, neither had actually forgiven the other. She did feel bad, although, when she let out a rather loud: "YAY!" and started giggling. She had to be escorted out. She later blamed it on too much wine, though everyone knew she hadn't had a drop.
Aragorn stood up. He now had to make a speech about Christina. It wasn't easy, as he knew hardly anything about her, but with Éomer and Legolas' help, he soon had a speech good enough to bore everyone into a deep stupor.
"Christina was an interesting character," he began. "Many different people saw many different sides to her. The majority of us gathered here saw possibly the worst side of her. Sarcastic, arrogant, boastful, intimidating. But some of us also saw the love and kindness she was capable of." Legolas smile din her memory. "To Legolas she was a loving partner who, even though a little controlling, had no regrets of her love for him. To Peregrin she was a best friend. Considerate and caring. She looked after him, like a mother would her child, and was devastated when the time of their parting came. I saw her at work in battle. Fearless and brave. Fighting not only for her own country, but for Gondor too. She died at war- " At this point Galadriel snapped her head up. She found Aragorn boring (but strangely attractive) at the best of times, but she was also drunk, so she was nearly asleep.
"What?" she said, loudly. "Died a whore?" Everyone (except Legolas) had to try and hide a smile at that. They all knew how pervy Christina's mind was, so that remark was rather fitting.
"No dear," said Celeborn, slowly. "Died. At. War."
"Ohh," she said, and then went back to ignoring Aragorn. Aragorn looked around the room. He was nowhere near finished, but he figured he's made his point.
"Look, do you want me to finish," he asked, "or do you want to skip straight to the food?" The four hobbits faces lit up.
"FOOD!" they cried in unison. They all stood up to run to the buffet table, but Legolas grabbed the back of Pippin's shirt and roughly re-seated him.
"You're meant to be mourning," he hissed angrily. Galadriel suddenly stuck her head between them.
"Mooning?" she said, with a broad grin on her face. "Who's mooning? Is it Aragorn?" Complete horror was on the faces of Aragorn, Arwen, Legolas and Pippin. Arwen marched over to her grandmother and slapped her.
"That's my husband!" she shouted.
"I'm your grandmother!" cried Galadriel, hitting her back. On the realisation that her grandmother was hitting on her husband, Arwen ran away screaming.
"That's disgusting," said Legolas.
"That's disgusting," repeated Pippin.
"That's just plain damn nasty!" said Aragorn and then went to find Arwen. Galadriel shrugged and went over to the food table.
Legolas sighed miserably. The wake was turning into a circus. Galadriel and Gimli were drunk, the hobbits were stuffing their faces with food (as usual), Aragorn had gone to find Arwen, Celeborn was trying to make Galadriel behave and everyone else were just having freakish conversations. 'I'm so sorry, Christina,' he thought.
He looked around the room to see if anyone was being at least semi- normal or having a semi-normal conversation. No one was. He picked up on the conversation between Galadriel and some Elves of Lórien.
"And I said to her: 'Christina, you have elvish ancestry. Your great- grandmother was my sister.' And do you know what she said?" asked Galadriel.
"No, ma'am," they said, monotonously.
"She said me, and this is the Eru's honest truth, this is what she said. She said this to me. Me. Lady Galadriel. Me. As in me. The Lady of the Golden Wood. She said this. She-"
"Just get on with it!" cried Haldir. He received a hard slap for that.
"Don't rush me!" she shouted. "I'm your superior! Anyway, she to me: 'So you mean I'm a sort of diluted Elf?' and I was like 'Okaaaaay then, but yeah.' And that's how she found out she had elvish lineage."
"I don't mean to sound rude, ma'am," said a young Elf (well, young for an Elf, anyway), not noticing the winces from the others. "But, we were talking about archery." A few seconds later, that Elf was flying across the room.
Pippin was in the midst of eating four cakes at once, when he turned to Legolas.
"Do you think Chrissy would be happy with the way this is all going?" she said.
"NO!" said Legolas, not believing that question had just been asked.
"I thought you might say that," he said.
"AAARRRGGGHHH!!!" sounded across the room. "MY RING ID GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!" Galadriel was staring at her hand.
"No calm down, dear," said Celeborn, slowly (in that really patronizing voice used on old peeps). ""When did you last have it?"
"When I was getting a drink," she sobbed. Then her eyes lit up and she ran over to the buffet table. "I think I dropped it in the punch!" Everyone in the room looked down at the cups in their hands, grimaced and put the cups down. Galadriel plunged her hand into the punch bowl and started fishing around in it. Pippin, who was standing next to her, started choking.
"MY RING!" she shouted. "GIVE IT BACK!" She picked him up, turned him upside down and started shaking him.
"HHHEEELLLPPPPP!" he jittered.
"Cough it up!"
"HELP!"
"I want my ring!" Then she stopped and dropped him on his head.
"OOWWW!"
"How regular are you?" she asked.
"EWWW! Nan!" cried Arwen.
"What?" said Galadriel, innocently. "I want my ring."
"I am very regular," said Pippin, proudly.
"PIPPIN!" said Merry, in the 'disgraced mother' voice. "We don't want to hear the details of your toilet habits. So please quit telling us."
"1) I wasn't telling you, I was telling Lady Galadriel. 2) She asked. And 3) You already know my toilet habits, so stop asking disgusted," said Pippin. Merry blushed slightly.
"Well, I don't want to wait that long anyway," said Galadriel. "Anyone got a scalpel on them?"
"ARGH!" Pippin dived behind the other three hobbits.
"You're not going to do anything to our Pip!" said Merry, defiantly.
"I cannot allow it either," said Aragorn. "As he is still a knight of Gondor."
"I wish Chrissy was here!" said Pippin, ignoring the other two that were sticking up for him. "She wouldn't let anything happen to me if she was here!"
"Well she's not here, is she?!" snapped Legolas. "She's dead. She's not coming back! We've all just got to get on with our lives." He marched over to the buffet table poured a glass of wine and knocked it back. Everyone watched in silence. He had a point.
"Legolas is right," said Aragorn. "We're gathered here to say our final goodbyes to her. Not to bicker and argue and threaten young hobbits. So, let us raise our glasses in her memory. To Christina!"
"TO CHRISTINA!"
Meanwhile, Christina was looking into a scrying pool. The look on her face darkened as each second passed.
"Not happy," she growled. She was in the Halls of Mandos. She was quite happy were she was (that moment not included), the Halls was quite a cool place to be, but it got quite boring now and then. So, from time to time, she had a look in the scrying pool to see what her old friends were doing. She had found out a few days previously about her burial and decided it was a definite must. The burial went quite well, but the wake was a disaster.
She was immensely angered when Galadriel had called her a whore, implied she was a freak, shook an upside down Pippin violently and then dropped him on his head. She was extremely worried about Legolas. He looked very ill. 'He'll be joining me soon if he' not careful,' she thought grimly. And she was thankful to Aragorn for trying to restore some order and sombreness to the funeral feast.
She looked down again. 'So much for order,' she thought. Aragorn appeared to now be playing some variation of 'tag' with the Lórien Elves. Legolas gave up.
"Fuck it, I'm getting pissed!" he said. The four hobbits, Aragorn and Gimli all looked at him. "What? Can't a guy swear when he' depressed?"
"But you never swear," said Sam, timidly.
"I do now!"
"It's extremely hot in here," said Gimli, changing the subject completely. Then his eyes flashed and he started doing some horrid, scary little 'dance' thing.
"It's gettin' hot in herre! So take off all your clothes!" On 'your' he pointed at Galadriel. She considered it for a moment and then proceeded to do so. Celeborn leapt in front of her, arms spread, trying to block her from view.
"Nothing to see here!" he cried. All heard a dull 'thud'. Galadriel had fallen over and was now asleep.
"Ok then." said Celeborn. Gimli shrugged and continued.
"I am feelin' so hot! I wanna take my clothes off!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried the entire assembly, shielding their eyes. Suddenly crying Elf children (A/N: Yes, I know there not meant to be seen, but hey, this is me! I do odd things!) appeared from no where. Everyone looked down.
"Awha?" was the general reaction. They disappeared as quickly as they had appeared (A/N: ACK! It's a Clare moment!). "Strange."
Christina couldn't take anymore. Gimli threatening to take his clothes is enough for anyone, especially a fragile, clean-minded, young virgin. Er... yeah, right.
"Got to find Mandos!" she said. She ran quickly through the Halls, stopping briefly every now and then to a) be told off for running and disturbing the peace (to which she replied 'get stuffed') or b) to ask if anyone had seen him. She eventually found him looking in another scrying pool.
"Mandos! Please!" she pleaded, hands clasped. This wasn't the first time she'd asked.
"I'm sorry, Cristaniel," he replied. "But homesickness is not a reasonable excuse."
"But it's utter chaos down there!" she cried.
"It normally is," he said.
"There's a dwarf threatening to do a strip tease!" Mandos' eyes widened.
"EWWWW! OK, you can go! But only for 5 minutes. Got that? FIVE minutes. I was in need of a laugh anyway."
"YAY! Thank you so much!" She gave him a kiss on the cheek. He fainted. "Well, will you look at. Dammit, I made him faint. I'm just going to have to set the timer myself."
She entered a room not far from where Mandos lay. It was a sort of reception thing, but with no desk and no receptionist. It was where the newbies were met. It was rarely used the other way. The timer on the wall was set at zero.
"Hmm," she mused, "I guess that's the timer. I wonder how it works. I've never been told. Ooh, there's lots of buttons. I wonder what that one does." She pressed a large red button. The timer immediately said 24:00. "Oops, I set it for 24 hrs. Mandos is going to be reeeeeeeally angry... oh well."
"I wonder what happens when you die," said Pippin.
"I dunno," said Merry.
"Do you think there'll be a garden I can tend to?" said Sam.
"I dunno," said Merry.
"DO you think there'll be stuff I can write with?" said Frodo.
"I don't know," said Merry, more forcefully.
"I wonder if there will be things I can chop up," said Gimli.
"I DON'T KNOW, DAMMIT!" shouted Merry.
"Calm down, Merry," said Aragorn. "They weren't actually asking you. They were rhetorical questions."
"Reto-what?" said Merry.
"Rhetorical," repeated Aragorn. "Questions that aren't asked to be answered."
"Er, right," said Merry.
"It's getti'-" started Gimli.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried Sam. "No! NONONONONONONO! Not again! I can't take it!"
"I was going to say it's getting dark," said Gimli.
"Yeah, right," muttered Pippin.
"What's the definition of 'transmogrification'?" said Galadriel, suddenly.
"Eh?" said Aragorn.
"What's the definition of 'transmogrification'?" she repeated.
"I have absolutely no idea," said Aragorn. "Why on Middle Earth do you want to know that?"
"I want to go to sleep," she said, and fell to the floor for the tenth time or something like it. Celeborn went to her side and picked her up. "EWWW! Get off me!" She slapped him.
"I'm your husband!" he said, indignantly.
"Only when I want something!" He dropped her.
At that moment, the door opened with a loud 'BOOM!' It was practically blown off its hinges. Dust arose from the surrounding furniture and a loud voice from beyond the door astounded them all.
"WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO MY WAKE?!?!?!"
