A/N: I know. The angst is killing me, too :-) But after this, they can start really talking.
Glad you guys liked the last chapter so much. Your comments made my day. And yes, they are stubborn...but that's what makes it fun.
BETWEEN THE SCENES: 13.01 SCORCHED EARTH
ICC allowed Alex to leave the Congo, even though their definition of the word immediately and her definition weren't exactly the same. She did leave the Congo the next day, but leaving ICC was a different story entirely. First, she had to go to the London office. Then a debriefing at The Hague - standard practice for those working in conflict areas. They wanted people to have time to transition back to life in the US, as it wasn't always. In Alex's case, because she had been assaulted and a report had been filed with ICC, they took extra precautions.
She was thankful Emma was there to coach her through it so she could get done as soon as possible and back to Olivia. She promised Emma she would get into counseling as soon as she got home, and that she would tell Olivia what happened to her. Whether things worked out with Olivia or not, Alex would need a friend who could understand. She hoped at the very least, Olivia could be her friend.
By the time Alex put feet on US soil, it was early June. She had kept in touch with Cragen, making sure Elliot was getting good counsel from his delegate. He was, but with six shootings in his jacket, even clean ones, it was going to be hard to bring him back. Of course, after shooting and killing a teenage girl, it was understandable if he never wanted to hold a gun again. Cragen understood this. Alex understood it. Unfortunately, it never crossed Olivia's mind. According to Cragen, she came in every day expecting him to be there. When he wasn't, it just would set her off.
"Don, you should know that Olivia and I had a fight several weeks ago - before the shooting," Alex said. They decided to have breakfast a couple of days after she made it back to NYC. "So, I'll do what I can, but I haven't talked to since then. I tried to call her, but she isn't taking my phone calls."
Cragen nodded. "Don't take it personally," he said. "She's not talking to anyone right now. She's barely even communicating with Munch and Fin unless it's about work. I have a new detective coming in from Atlanta, a woman, and am looking for another, but I gotta tell you, she's not easy to work with right now. I almost had to give her a rip and send her home the other day."
"What should I do?" Alex said. "I start back at SVU in about a week and a half. McCoy was surprised I requested SVU again, but ok'd it."
"You know if you push her too much, she'll shut down," he said. "But when she breaks, she's going to need someone."
"Do you think Stabler will be able to come back?" Alex asked.
"At this point, I'm not even sure he wants to," Cragen said. "But he's waiting on the IAB investigation to complete. He's as much as a mess as she is. He won't even return her calls, or anyone but mine.
"But with Olivia, just lay low," Cragen said. "I'll make sure she hears you're back at the DAs office and that you'll be back at SVU. Maybe she'll reach out."
Alex's face gave him a look that said yeah, right.
"Enjoy some time with your family in the meantime," he said. "I'll call if I need anything."
#
Alex did lay low for the most part. She went away with her family for a week. They just moved the date up since Alex was back sooner than planned. She called Olivia a few times, and always left a message, but never got a callback. This must be how Olivia felt when I never returned her calls after Albany.
Finally, the day arrived for Alex to return to SVU, and boy was it a day. A hotel maid was sexually assaulted by an Italian diplomat. Welcome back, Alex Cabot.
When Olivia arrived back at the squad room, returning from the hospital with the victim, Alex and Bureau Chief Mike Cutter were already in Cragen's office. Olivia came in and briefed them, but it was apparent to Alex that Olivia wasn't really there. She mostly just stared out the office window at Elliot's desk. She barely even looked at Alex, much less say hello or welcome her back like the rest of the squad did. They were happy to see her. Olivia wasn't.
Luckily, putting aside their personal feelings with each other to do their jobs was something they learned a long time ago. They were instructed to go to Miriam's motel room to re-interview her and make sure she wasn't holding anything back.
"Do you want to ride together to see Miriam?" Alex texted to Olivia the following day.
"I'll just meet you there," Olivia responded. She didn't even offer an excuse.
In Miriam's room, they worked in tandem, like they had done hundreds of times. Alex was thankful for that, even if she could feel the tension between them. Mostly, though, she was focused on Miriam's story. It was a familiar story. Alex had been to Sudan during her time with the ICC. She knew the story Miriam was telling because she had heard so many just like it. It was tugging her heartstrings. It was fitting it was her first case back to SVU.
When they finished with Miriam, Olivia went straight back to the squad room, telling Alex she would contact her and Cutter if they had anything else. She never even gave Alex an opportunity to talk to her.
The week kept getting worse, too. First, Olivia found out that IAB now wanted to review Elliot's entire jacket - all six shootings - even though he had just been cleared in the recent shooting.
Then Cutter walked into the squad's bar. The place Alex went purposely to get a chance to talk to Olivia. Cutter told them Miriam was in it for the money and that it was audio. Olivia and Alex hadn't done a good enough job of vetting their witness.
It was a buzzkill for everyone's night, but Alex was hoping to catch Olivia on their way out.
"Liv, can we talk?" Alex said quietly as everyone headed out to the street.
"Alex, it's not really a good time for me," Olivia said.
Alex was getting pretty tired of Olivia's attitude, even if she knew she was hurting. She firmly put her hand on Olivia's elbow and walked her away from everyone, toward an alley. She was forceful, and she knew Olivia wouldn't pull away from her and cause a scene in front of the squad.
"Fine," she whispered. "Then when will be?"
"That depends on how long you plan on sticking around this time," Olivia said.
Alex took a breath to keep her anger in check. "Liv..." she said. "This is not about us. I am worried about you. Your entire squad is worried about you."
"Why are you here, Alex?" Olivia said.
"Because I wanted to talk to you tonight," Alex replied.
"No, not here," Olivia said. "Why are you back? And why the hell are you at SVU?"
"I'm here for you," Alex said. "I came back for you." I love you, was what she was really saying.
Olivia breathed slowly for a moment, trying to register what Alex was saying. Alex was hoping it was enough to get Olivia to talk to her. To yell at her. Any reason to think Olivia still cared for her.
Alex saw Olivia look over her shoulder, behind the blonde. The squad had all dispersed with the exception of Fin, who was hanging back to see what was going down between the two women. He wasn't being nosy, but he'd seen that look in their eyes and felt that tension between them too many times. Olivia was about to come unchained and if Alex pushed her too hard, well, he just wanted to make sure there wasn't about to be a cat fight on his hands.
"Like I said, now isn't a good time," Olivia said. She saw everyone but Fin was gone, so she jerked her arm away from Alex finally. She glared at Alex once more and walked away in the direction of her apartment.
Alex closed her eyes to hold back her tears. When she turned around, she saw Fin was still standing there, watching to make sure she was okay. She nodded at him, as a thanks, and began to walk away to hail a cab.
"Alex," Fin said. She stopped and turned around. "Giver her some time."
Alex gave him a soft smile before taking off again.
#
The case see-sawed for them. They would get a lead, good news, and then bad news. Finally, Cutter felt there was no win and wanted to drop the case. He asked Alex and Olivia to meet in his office to discuss it.
"I don't see a win here," Cutter said.
"I do," Alex said. "When the jury hears her story, they'll find him guilty."
"She's heartbreaking," Olivia said, looking down and walking over to sit on the window frame. "But it doesn't mean she's telling the truth."
"Olivia," Alex said, shocked, turning around to face the brunette. She couldn't believe what Olivia was saying. Olivia almost always erred on the side of the victims and fought for them. Olivia just stared at Alex. It was clear Olivia didn't know what to believe.
"I believe her," Alex said. "I heard thousands of other stories just like hers when I was in Africa."
"It's not getting that far," Cutter interjected. "The new DA wants to drop the charges."
Alex was stunned. This wasn't the Mike Cutter she had heard about, and it certainly wasn't the Olivia she knew. She looked to Olivia once more, hoping for some kind of back up, only to get a shrug from Olivia.
After saying her peace to Cutter, she looked back toward Olivia again, who still had nothing to say on behalf of the victim. She stared Olivia down before turning and walking out on them.
#
Alex proceeded to trial, despite Cutter's objections, and finally got Olivia to admit she did believe the victim. It was also she needed to hear - to keep going with the trial, and to have some sort of hope left that Olivia was still in there somewhere.
The trial ended with a split verdict. Not guilty of rape, but guilty of unlawful imprisonment. It was the best they could have hoped for giving the circumstances.
After the trial, however, came the blow Olivia wasn't prepared for - Elliot wasn't coming back, and it was his choice. He couldn't even pick up the phone and tell her himself.
But Olivia, after a short breakdown in the interrogation room, did what she always did - she picked herself up and went back to work. No, she didn't want to take a day. No, she didn't want to send someone else out on the call.
She wanted to work, and she wanted to accept that she only had herself anymore. She kept losing everyone around her, even the one person she depending on most over the past 12 years. Calvin. Alex, twice. And now Elliot.
Olivia Benson was going to be alone the rest of her life, and she was ready to accept that and move on.
