Totally editing while I'm sick haha…
Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII nor its characters. I also don't own the ideas taken from Love Monster.
When Reno came back from his mission, Cloud thought that he had been well prepared for the inevitable fussing. What he wasn't prepared for was the weasel to do all his fussing in front of the Vice President and the leader of the Turks while the generals and the Lieutenant watched in both amusement and annoyance in the middle of Sephiroth's office. The weasel turned him around, visually checking for injuries while he sniffed him, just to make sure that he wasn't missing something that his eyes didn't catch.
"Alright that's enough with that." Genesis seemed to have had enough with the Turk touching Cloud as he pulled the smaller monster back towards him so that Reno couldn't reach him anymore. "As you can already see, he's fine. We didn't do anything weird to him while the three of you went on your company funded date."
Cloud's eyes lit up at those words and Reno started mentally cursing the red haired general. "It was a mission, not a date." He corrected.
"Company paid date disguised as a mission." Rufus supplied and Reno fought the urge to curse at the Vice President too.
"Date?" Cloud questioned curiously. "Reno, you never told me that you were dating someone."
"I'm not dating someone." It wasn't exactly a lie.
"No, he's dating Tseng and I." Rufus added on once again.
"You don't have to tell Cloud everything!" Reno growled out at the spider, who just shrugged his shoulders.
"Why do you even bother to try to keep it a secret when everyone else knows and Zack was bound to blurt it out to your little chocobo at some point if you didn't tell him. You might as well be honest from the beginning and save yourself from questions later."
"It's not like I didn't know that you had a thing for Turk leader Tseng anyways." Cloud added on and everyone gave him an odd look. "What?" He looked confused when he noticed everyone was staring at him.
"Tseng is fine cadet." Tseng supplied. "If we're going to be meeting informally, you might as well get used to calling us without our titles."
Cloud made a face at that. "It's already hard enough calling the generals by their names."
Rufus grinned a little at that. Cloud instinctively backed away, recognising the look on his face as one that would appear on Zack's. Quite often when the wolf thought of something 'brilliant' to do. The spider didn't seem to be having any of it though, because he wrapped his arm around Cloud's shoulders and turned him around so that he was looking at everyone else. "Repeat after me." He pointed at Angeal. "Angie."
Cloud just stared at Angeal for a second before turning and looking at the spider as if he had another head growing on his shoulders.
"You might as well humour him cadet. The Vice President likes deep fried chocobo." Sephiroth said with a bit of humour in his tone.
Cloud then turned his look on Sephiroth for a moment before he finally sighed and looked back at Angeal. "Angie."
Rufus' grin got wider as he continued, pointing Cloud is Genesis' direction. "Gen."
"Gen." Cloud repeated, he was starting to feel like he was back in primary school, learning how to pronounce words for the first time.
Next, Rufus turned him to Sephiroth "Seph."
"Seph." Next was Zack.
"Puppy."
"Hey!" Zack protested.
"Or Zachary. He hates that one the most." Rufus said ignoring the wolf.
Cloud couldn't help the grin that appeared on his face. "Zachery."
Zack whined at that, but didn't have the chance to fully voice his dislike as Rufus was already turning Cloud to face Reno. "Red."
Reno frowned a little at the nickname.
"Reno."
The younger Turk grinned at Cloud's defiance.
"And you were doing so well at the beginning." Rufus sighed in disappointment. "We'll have to work on that one sometime later. "Next is Tseng."
"… Tseng." Cloud repeated with a slight uneasiness in his tone.
"No need to be unsure Cloud. He said you can call him by name, so you should do so. Just don't try to make up a nickname for him. He won't hesitate to shoot at you if you try. Zack's already tried once." Rufus reassured him.
"I still think 'the scary egocentric naïve guy' suits him really well." Zack added on.
"Nicknames are meant to make your name shorter." Tseng replied. "And I will not hesitate to shoot at you again Zachery."
The wolf almost immediately hid behind Sephiroth. Rufus chuckled a little at the exchange before he turned his attention back to Cloud. "You'll get used to it eventually. We just need to train you out of the habit first."
"Yeah Cloudy. If you're going to be dating the four of us, you're going to have to learn to call us by our names, unless you have that kind of fetish." Zack piped it.
That caught Reno's attention and Cloud fought the urge to bang his head against a wall.
"Did he just say what I think he said Cloud?" Reno questioned.
"It's just a trial period Reno." Cloud offered.
"No way, absolutely not." It seemed that Reno had forgotten that he was forbidding Cloud from dating people that were a higher rank than himself. "Genesis didn't even like you in the first place. How do you know that they're not just playing with you?"
"We are not going to force Cloud into doing something the he doesn't want to do." Sephiroth offered in an attempt to calm the weasel down.
"And how do I know that I can trust him with either of you? He's already nearly gotten himself killed in your care. How do I know that something horrible isn't going to happen to him behind closed doors? Cloud idolises you all. How do I know that you're not going to use that against him…?"
"… Reno." The weasel paused in mid rant when he recognised the warning tone in Cloud's words. "I'd like to think that I could recognise those signs for myself. Not to mention it is not your place to decide who I do or do not date. You're not my father, and if my real father had an issue with this whole situation, I would think that he would at least have the decency to tell me himself. Now, you have ten seconds to run before I come at you with Ifrit."
Reno didn't stop to wonder how Cloud managed to get his hands on the fire summon. He was out of the room in a few seconds with the cadet hot on his heels.
"Well, I guess that's the end of that issue." Angeal offered as soon as the two were out of hearing range.
"Looks like you're definitely not going to be able to recruit him into the Turks." Rufus stated and everyone turned their attention on Tseng.
"You were considering asking him to join the Turks?" Zack questioned.
"He did well to break into my office without being detected, despite the fact that it was Reno's idea. Granted Reno pointed out that he would probably refuse. It's a pity. We could have used someone with his materia control."
"Why don't you just borrow Gen?" Zack questioned.
"He has more important missions to go on." Tseng pointed out. "Cloud's rank isn't high enough for him to be put on any important missions and also Genesis is not small enough to fit in vents."
They all laughed a little at that.
"I don't see why you can't borrow him." Sephiroth said after their laughter had died down. All the SOLDIER's looked at him in shock. "There will need to be a few house rules set down though."
Tseng looked interested at that.
"No assassinations. Cloud will get enough of that if he ever has to go to Wutai. He is only allowed to go on missions where either you or Reno are present, also you will be responsible for his safety. Also, you're only allowed to take him after he gets into SOLDIER."
"Sephiroth…" Genesis spoke up with a disapproving tone in his voice.
"Cloud can learn some valuable lessons if he works with the Turks." Sephiroth stated. "Also, you can promise to look after him right? Considering your newest addition's attachment to him."
Tseng nodded his head. "I'll be sure that he only goes on missions where either Reno or I are present if he gets into SOLDIER. I believe with that previous explanation you also expect us to train him as well?"
"Not the full Turk training. Just give him some basic life skills that you'd think he'd need as well as any skills that he'd obviously need for missions." Tseng held a hand out to the silver haired general.
"Deal."
Grinning, Sephiroth took Tseng's hand in his own and shook on it. Cloud and Reno walked back into the room a second later with Cloud looking tired from chasing after the weasel and Reno looking a bit singed at the edges.
"So what kind of a shady deal is going on here?" Reno questioned.
