"I didn't know any girl could eat that much" Derek declared as he sat back on the couch, having disposed of all the trash on the coffee table. They had watched one of Meredith's favorite movies and to Derek's surprise he actually enjoyed it more then he would like to admit. He wasn't one for romantic comedies but this movie was different to him, their love story had a sense of realism to it, it was a refreshing kind of movie compared to the ones he saw his sisters watch and cry in front of on a monthly basis.
"Are you jealous or something?" Meredith asked as she came back from the kitchen having just placed their plates in the sink. The movie was interrupted with growling from Meredith's stomach and they decided to order some take out food. Derek was hungry too, but the prospect of staying and spending more time with Meredith was an offer he couldn't have refused even if he had just eaten.
"Impressed if nothing else," Derek said with a smile as Meredith sat on the couch next to him. She tucked one leg underneath her as she stared at the credits on the film.
"Well, I'm sorry if I can't be one of your rice cake eating friends…I care about what I eat in the sense that it should have more than 10 calories. I mean if you want something sugar free, fat free and carb free then have some freaking water," Meredith said.
Derek fought a smile, she was cute when she ranted.
Although the evening seemed simple and intimate in that they would get to spend some time alone, Meredith surprised Derek by inviting Cristina over to come eat with them. Since she lived right next door and had a strict Korean mother who demanded she be home by a certain hour, she had to leave a little after she had arrived. Derek didn't even know that she was coming over but he figured that after Meredith made t he call for food she made one for her friend as well.
Derek knew they were neighbors and thought nothing of it at first, he hadn't realized that their hangout had turned into something else.
Derek ran his hand through his hair, letting out an inaudible groan.
"You ordered enough food for eight people," he reminded her.
Meredith nodded, understanding where this conversation was headed and wanting to avoid it as much as possible, it was her nature. "Well, with me it's down to five," she said.
Derek nodded back, mirroring her actions, "And with me, down to two," he said.
"Cristina came over for the last two," Meredith said casually.
"We could have ordered less," Derek offered, wanting to hear her real reason for inviting Cristina, without pushing her.
"Takes the fun out of it, besides Cristina needs to eat too," Meredith said, biting her lower lip, yeah, I suck at lying, she told herself.
"I know," Derek said, denying Cristina food would be cruel, so he wasn't going to argue that point.
"That is all," Meredith said confidently, better, she told herself, as far as the lying went.
"Interesting," Derek said as he raised his eyebrows at her, trying to evoke a response from her.
"What is?" Meredith asked, shrugging.
"You think we need a chaperone?"
Meredith scoffed, "I don't."
"Well, you invited one."
"She's my friend, not my mother."
"What are you afraid to be alone with me?" Derek asked as he crossed his arms across his chest.
"She's not a buffer, or whatever you think she was," Meredith tried denying the fact that she had in fact invited Cristina to act as one.
"So if I invited Mark it wouldn't be a buffer?" Derek asked, genuinely curious as to what she would say in response.
"Mark is your best friend, Cristina is mine. And she happens to live next door; Mark would have to drive to get here..."
"Well then maybe we should invite both," he mocked.
Meredith rolled her eyes, feigning annoyance. Crap, she thought to herself, damn him for being assertive or whatever, she thought to herself.
"Why don't you want to be alone with me?" Derek asked as he uncrossed his arms and leaned towards Meredith.
Meredith opened her mouth to say something and closed it back quickly, what do I say? She wondered to herself.
"I don't know," she said quietly.
"You don't know?" Derek asked, wondering if he had heard her right. He thought her answer would be yes, I do want to be alone with you. Not no, or I don't know, even.
"I don't know Derek, maybe it's cause we're not supposed to be friends according to every girl in that room last night, or maybe I'm bad at this…but we kissed and it's not like I do that a lot…I didn't kiss a lot of guys…maybe I've only kissed one," she said as she played with a hole on the knee of her jeans.
"Right." Derek said, not knowing where she was going.
"It means something to me…maybe," She added with a little uncertainty.
"Maybe it meant something to me to," he said with a smile, trying to ease her nervous mood.
"I don't know what to do now, because you say all these things and we kiss and then last night happens or maybe I'm crazy but something is supposed to happen between us and…I can't deal with everyone rooting for me to fail…not that I don't know what that feels like…I love being friends with you and I'd rather have you as that then nothing at all…or if that at all, I don't want to be miserable because of a few vindictive girls," Meredith said, letting out a deep breath as she finished venting and ranting to Derek.
Derek raised his eyebrows, trying to process everything she had just said, word vomit, Mark always called it when people ranted.
Somebody do
Somebody do
Somebody do you wrong
Don't let 'em kill
Don't let 'em kill
Don't let 'em kill your soul
So, I keep on shuffling on and on
'Cause it's all the same to me
"I sounded like an idiot, any scenario in my head didn't end that way, I assure you," Meredith said as she finally looked up at Derek, trying to read his face.
"Me either," Derek said, almost inaudibly, was she dumping him? He asked himself.
"I can't…I don't…I don't know what I'm doing. You're going to break my heart."
Derek's eyes widened, "What?!?" he asked surprised.
Meredith shrugged, "It's true. I know it, you know but still I kissed you..." and went out with you, she added in her head.
Derek opened his mouth to say something, cut off at once by Meredith.
"There's nothing to say to it." Meredith said, sure of herself this time.
"Of course there is…Meredith that's crazy!"
"You can't predict the future any better then I can," she reminded him.
"If they can't accept you then I can't accept them." Derek said, about the few friends he had (all female), who seemed hell bent on making Meredith feel out of place.
"I'm not asking you to do that Derek," Meredith said.
"I know." He said as she put his hand on top of hers.
Meredith looked down at the hole in her jeans yet again, avoiding his eyes.
And it's all I live for
The air I breathe
So it's all the same to me
Yes, it's all the same to me
Well, it's all the same to me
:::::
Sorry to leave it hanging like this, more to come.
Enjoy,
Viv.
