How to Annoy Bleach Characters
Chapter 44: Hisagi Shuuhei
Author's Note: Yeah...we had a couple of requests for this guy, so enjoy the list of many sorts of harassments. Hisagi was a bit hard, so we had to get a little more...creative....O___0
1) When he sleeps and is about to wake up, get a little boy to run to his room
2) Tell the boy that the three scars on Hisagi's right eye are tire tracks
3) This should happen...
"Yawn....what...WHAT THE HELL??? WHO ARE YOU???"
"I needed tracks for my toy car and Ryoka-san said that..."
"Please leave..."
3) Videotape the boy running out and make sure that you have bribed him to act like he was crying
4) Play the video on a SUPER large flat screen that you have forced the shinigami men's association to build on top of the 1st squad's building. Put subtitles and blur up the sound so no one could hear what was happening. The newly made subs should say, "Excuse me Mr. Shinigami, can you sign my autograph, I'm a huge fan of..."
"DAMN YOU I DON'T GIVE A (censored) ABOUT (censored) SO (censored) GET YOUR (censored) (censored) OUT OF MY (censored)!!!!!
5) Hisagi will be cursed at for child abuse and the destruction of the shinigami reputation XD
6) Steal the 11th squad's sake and hide it in Hisagi's room
7) Tell Kenpachi you have discovered the thief
8) Watch the destruction
9) When the 11th squad takes back their sake, sneak in at night and pour the sake all over the 11th division.
10) Set it on fire.
11) Sneak Mayuri's poison into Hisagi's drink so that he falls asleep every 5 hours
12) Put a torch in his hands when he is sleeping
13) Call the 11th squad and say you have found the arsonist who was trying to get revenge for the sake
14) Call Unohana, seriously
15) Tell Unohana that Hisagi constantly harasses Isane (We told you that we were going to get creative!)
16) If Unohana refuses to believe...set up the following:
Get Hisagi when he is on his 5 hour sleep zone
Chug sake down his throat
Steal all of his clothes except for underwear
Bribe a random girl to take a picture with him...
Save the picture for later
17) The next day, get that random girl to run into the Captain meeting, sobbing about how someone "hurt" her
18) Have her blame Hisagi
19) When no one believes, take out the picture and oh...boy...he's in for it
20) Send a copy to the shinigami women's association
21) Tell Hisagi to go there...and he'll get like...10 slaps on the face.
22) Remember what you told Unohana about Hisagi and Isane? Yeah, she should believe you now. Run away if you wish to avoid the bankai of the scariest/kindest women of the Soul Society.
23) Constantly ask him what the 69 on his cheek means. Ask him if it is something perverted
24) Moan each time you see him about how it was HIS fault that Tousen abandoned the Soul Society: because he had such a crappy lieutenant
25) Steal Kazeshini and use it (shikai) for cutting corn stalks
26) Tell him that you're sorry and you'll give him a free haircut (The shameless man shall accept! If you do not understand: In a shinigami golden cup, Hisagi yanked Renji to Omaeda's house to eat his leftovers)
27) Blindfold him and if he asks why, say it's to prevent his eyes from blinding in the light
28) Indeed give him a haircut, using Kazeshini
29) When he freaks, shrug and say that it was Byakuya's idea. (In another shinigami cup, Byakuya cracked a joke to Renji that he cut his hair with Senbonzakura)
30) Watch the misunderstanding sort out. Snicker when Hisagi storms to Byakuya's mansion. Oh, and while you're at it:
"Unohana-san! Hisagi is hurting another girl!"
"Where?"
"At the Kuchiki's!!!"
"Kenpachi-san!!! Hisagi is challenging Byakuya to a duel to the death and you're invited!!!!"
"ALRIGHT!!!!!"
"Head Captain! Someone turned the AC too high at the Kuchiki's!"
"...so...."
"We beg of you to use Ryuujin Jakka to melt the frozen house!"
"...Fine..."
"Rangiku! Kira! Hisagi was set up and everyone wants to kill him!
"Oh My God! Where is..."
"The Kuchiki's!!!!"
Author's Note: XD Hope you enjoyed and please review! Any requests? One at a time please!
