Light, unlike any other. Euphoria, over any limitations. Freedom, breaking any bonds. It was freeing, it was enslaving, it was perfect, and hopelessly flawed. Beautiful beyond words. It ached. It hurt. And yet…
It was all the exact opposite at the same time. Encompassing. Warm. Safety.
But something was… wrong. Two had become one in a moment of pure perfection. Two burning lights in the dark, bound together for a minute in time, entwining them.
Then, abruptly, the second light went dark. He was left spiralling, confused and without direction. Floundering, lost, at the bottom of a pitch black ocean.
At first it was numbed out shock, a disbelief that he was alone. Without a single warning.
Then there was pain. Alone. Alone was agonizing. Why was he alone again? He couldn't remember being without that second light, bound to it so intimately. He sent out sloppy pulses, searching, trying to regain the other- he was uncoordinated. Unused to working and moving alone.
And then, finally, there was panic. It all happened in the span of a millisecond.
A whirl of emotions and grasping, fumbling hands.
Before memories came snapping back into place. Lilah. Lilah had ended the spark merge. Why? No. She wouldn't know how. Humans didn't have spark merges, so of course they wouldn't know how to abruptly cut one off. She couldn't possibly know how to abort one.
So why had the connection been severed?
The limp body in his hands registered less than a moment later. Bluestreak swore his spark dropped out of his body and into the ground below, followed closely by his tanks. It was a cold, dreading, horrible feeling. Ice filled his Energon lines.
Codes threatening to go off, trembling slightly, Bluestreak pulled his hands away from his chest.
Lilah lay, limp and broken looking, in his hold. She was cold, her eyes half opened and glazed over, her mouth open slightly, as if she had attempted to scream right before it happened. Whatever 'it' was that had happened.
His sensors informed him of a faint heartbeat- but it was so slow, so quiet…
Bluestreak threw his body into motion, tumbling from the berth and shutting his chest plates. The body between his fingers did nothing. There was no reaction. Lilah laid just as still as she had before, unbothered by her phobia at the current moment.
Why? Why had this happened?!
Panic and agony seared through Bluestreak like a lightning strike. He tore out of his room, clutching Lilah close to his chest, long legs stumbling against the ground as he tried to gain ground quickly.. She was the most precious thing to him, and he wasn't about to let anything harm her. Anything.
Least of all himself.
Everything moved too slow and yet too fast, all at once. His cooling fans worked overtime, and his outer plating heaved under the strain he forced it under. The speed was nearly to much for his build. He wasn't built like Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, or Blurr.
But…
Bluestreak found he did not care.
All that mattered was getting Lilah to Ratchet.
And get her to Ratchet he did.
Bluestreak didn't exactly wait for the double doors leading into the medbay to open. Instead choosing to ram his shoulder into the crack as hard as possible, before wedging it hard to one side, trying to force it open faster. Whether it actually did or not, he didn't know.
"Bluestreak! What in the name of Primus-" Ratchet froze from where he had obviously been arguing with his human mate, Bobbi, his outer plating rippling in small places like the fur of an Earth animal. Bluestreak could almost see the medic's sensors zeroing in on the limp, unresponsive body laying between his fingers.
"Please, Ratchet-" Words failed Bluestreak. His jaw trembled. Cybertronians couldn't cry, but he felt damn close to it, regardless.
"Berth. Now." Ratchet was in his element, priorities falling into place as he pointed at a nearby medical berth with distinct authority in his voice. Bluestreak rushed to obey, gently laying Lilah on it. He loathed to leave her side, but the approaching, tense medic was rather convincing. The sniper slid to the side, but made sure he was still close enough to watch what was going on. Being too far away from Lilah- the mere thought- made his spark ache like nothing else.
This was his fault.
Bluestreak shuddered as his spark lashed out against it's own casing, almost seeming to punish him for the pain he had caused his chosen mate. His optics unfocused, staring through Ratchet- who continued to look Lilah over thoroughly- as he lost himself in his own guilty thoughts.
He should have known it could have adverse effects on a human. They were fragile, and had no concept of 'spark merging'. No one had done it with one of their kind before.
And yet…
And yet.
He had grasped hold of the situation and leapt right in without a singular thought as to Lilah's health. Bluestreak had been so consumed, so submerged in his need to be closer to her, that he had allowed himself to be blinded. It made him sick. Hadn't he learned, by his many years on the battlefield, that it paid to be well informed? That if you couldn't see everything- especially as a sniper- then you were likely to end up in a whole lot of pain?
Or with someone dead on your hands- if not yourself.
All because he had been too embarrassed and afraid to go to Ratchet to ask all his questions. All because Bluestreak had wanted- no, needed- this too badly to see past it all.
Bluestreak winced. It hurt. His spark thrashed in his spark chamber, rattling angrily at him. He deserved it, he felt, and didn't fight it. Seeming to seize this, it punished him, granting him no quarter. It practically seethed, set off further by several codes triggering in his processor, acknowledging the harm that had come to an innocent, a femme- and a young one at that.
"This is… unprecedented." Ratchet spoke slowly, withdrawing from Lilah's form with a frown, clearly puzzled.
"What… what is it?" Bluestreak's jaw bolts felt rusted shut from stress and terror. He could barely speak. Was she alright? Was she dying? His spark squeezed at that last question. He couldn't take this- this couldn't end, not like this.
"She's stable. Safe, for now." The medic was quick to reassure the younger Cybertronian, "But… I've never seen anything like this. I don't think anyone has." he scowled, crossing his arms, "I'll need to run some more tests. You're welcome to-"
Ratchet stopped.
There was no need to continue any further. Bluestreak was not only no longer listening, but perched on the edge of the berth Lilah was on, watching her closely. He wouldn't be going anywhere. Ratchet knew that all too well. This wasn't the first time he was in this same very situation.
The characters had simply changed.
Removing a mate from their injured partner was near impossible. You were more likely to change Megatron over to the Autobot's side. And then that begged the question- how many fingers would you have left after the attempt?
Shaking his helm heavily, the CMO scooped Bobbi up in one hand, and headed over to the side to begin his investigation.
XxX
It was the strangest sensation. Like a feather tickling the outside of her brain, inside of her skull. What was going on? Her chest felt heavy, as if something were sitting on it- and she felt… strange. Not bad, or painful. But… strange.
As if she were floating at the same time that her chest was being crushed. Or as if a light were starting to bloom throughout her body. It was difficult to explain. It was new. It didn't hurt, and didn't seem like anything bad, however.
Sleepily, Lilah forced her eyes open. They felt dry, and crusty, drawing her to rub at them with slow moving, clumsy hands. It hurt, removing the nasty, tough clumps. But after they were gone, there was a sense of relief, and she found herself actually able to see.
The first thing that came into focus was a large, familiar metal form leaning over her's protectively. As if to be her shield against the world.
Then, Lilah's eyes focused, and found themselves locked on a pair of bright, blue optics. They were far lighter than normal, bordering on white. She froze.
The last time she had seen that look…
Her stomach heaved and rolled for a brief moment, remembering the fear, the panic- the running. Her muscles still ached.
Bluestreak seemed to catch Lilah's flicker in expression. His own face grew blank, and he began to pull away. Stomach dropping out from under her, Lilah shoved herself forward, desperately groping for him. One hand smacked solidly against his metal thigh, and while pain radiated through her from it, she didn't allow it to slow her down. Instead, Lilah ignored it, and dragged her suddenly aching, sore, and slightly overheated form against the cool surface of Bluestreak's outer thigh.
No Cybertronian, no matter how tough or withdrawn, could keep from reassuring and comforting a hurt or suffering mate. Bluestreak could no more separate himself from Lilah than he could cut his own spark out. Leaning down and over her much smaller form, he cupped his hands around her body gently, creating a comforting cocoon of himself.
Their size difference didn't allow for much else.
Bluestreak would have tucked Lilah away into his chest piece, if he wasn't absolutely certain Ratchet would end him. Still, it was something, wasn't it? This closeness? Even if he didn't deserve it.
Lilah clutched onto Bluestreak. Her rock in the confusion and rocking waves of life. What had happened? Was that supposed to happen? She couldn't recall much. One moment they were spark merging- it was… it was… there were no words- and then she was… asleep? She couldn't remember. It hadn't hurt, not that she could recall.
Maybe her body had simply given out.
She wouldn't be surprised if human bodies simply weren't made for such a thing. It had seemed… well, alien would be a cliche way to describe it, wouldn't it?
It had been more than she had ever imagined or dreamed. But still… there was a lurking terror just beneath the waves. A piercing fear.
Lilah couldn't remember why.
But the fear was pale and slight. With Bluestreak so close, she couldn't be too afraid of anything. There was the sense that he would keep her safe, regardless, so there was no point in being terrified of anything.
As if sensing her thoughts, Bluestreak curled his fingers a bit more, as if trying to ward off anything and everything that may try to harm her. As if to protect her from the universe itself. It filled her with a comforting warmth. No matter what came of this, as long as she was here, with Blue- that was all that mattered.
Pressing firmly into the metal mesh of his palms, Lilah closed her eyes, and sank deeply into his embrace. There was no need for words. No need for cries of fright and questions. It would all come in due time, and for the moment- nothing could touch her. Nothing.
Not while Bluestreak stood watch.
For many long minutes, which turned into a handful of hours, they stayed there. Quietly holding on to each other and bracing for whatever would happen next.
No matter the storm, they wouldn't be seperated.
(AN: Sorry, sorry! I went to the Chiropractor and um... well, long story short I got issues. Like, I was slowly dying, issues. My pain was due to my intestine being in my pelvic area and wrapped around some shit. Causing digestive problems. It was apparently caused by my gall bladder surgery. Everything just... fell down.
Then my skull was off of my spine, cutting off my ability to feel hunger. This was because of me catching everything with my face while I was working.
So, yeah, I was slowly starving to death and wasting away. But, I'm getting better! Doc's puttin' me back together and we are on the road to GREATNESS and finishing this story! :D On the other hand, I've got a few exciting, far more positive updates!
Pierce My Silence cover: The ever so lovely DeathDragon130 put together a cover for my story! AHHH! Thank you so much love!
Etsy Shop: I've opened up an Etsy shop for all the crochet work I've done to relieve stress. You can check it- TangledVision- out on my profile page, where I've left a link!
Editing: I have taken time to edit every single one of my short stories and oneshots! If you interested in re-reading them, check 'em out! As soon as I finish Hear Me, I'll be re-doing Pierce My Silence as well, so look forward to that! :D)
