As Fili sat on the bed, he counted the candles flickering around the room, Kili finally drifting off to sleep beside him. There were dozens of them, leaving no part of the room in shadow. But even so, Fili had seen the way his brother's eyes had flicked uncertainly around him, often lingering on the same corner. He wondered what Kili could see, was it Azog? The Necromacer? Those who fell in battle? But he didn't ask, instead drew those tired brown eyes away and pulled the bed sheets up to Kili's shoulders, tucking him in as though he was a small child. And in that large bed, bigger than those they were used to in the Blue Mountains, that's exactly how he looked. Small, incredibly so. Fili's brother had always been slight for a dwarf, but the last couple of months had taken away most of the meat and muscle he had, leaving him thinner than any dwarf should ever be, with sunken eyes, his cheekbones hollow and his jaw sharp. Under his tunic you could count each rib below his promenant collarbone. He looked undernourished, as though he had been denied his meals. Yet Kili had been offered the same as everyone else, larger meals than any of them had eaten since Bagend, but he would simply pick and play with what was on the plate and very little would pass his lips, no matter how much his brother urged him to eat. Whatever was going on inside Kili's head was affecting him physically, and Fili hated it. Hated that he didn't know how to help, hated the constant sorrow in Kili's dark eyes, and the the way his lips always seemed to be downturned. He missed his joyful little brother, the playful spirit he loved. Kili's enthusiasm and curiousity, his wonder and silly sense of humour seemed like very distant memories. Fili could not recall the last time Kili laughed, and had almost began to forget the sound.

The blond sighed, his eyes falling away from the candles and down to his brother laying beside him. Kili's face was peaceful and his chest rose and fell in the steady rhythm that indicated that he was asleep. Fili reached down and ran his hand through Kili's dark hair, brushing loose strands from his face. Thorin will be on his way back by now, he thought, unsure how long it had been since his uncle had allowed him to return to the Mountain early, his meeting with Bard must be over by now. The last thing Fili wanted to do in that moment was to leave his brother alone. Luckily, Fili's room was beside Kili's and the elder brother had a habit of leaving his door open just a little, a thin strip of light running up the wall and across the ceiling, so if Kili was to wake, a nightmare or vision dragging a terrified scream, Fili, the light sleeper that he was, would wake and run to him. It had happened multiple times since returning to the mountain, but Fili was certain that it happened far more than he was aware, the terror of Kili's nightmares gripping in a vice so tight that no sound could escape him. But, when Fili would go to speak with Thorin, he would be on the other side of the Mountain. He could only hope that the events of the day would keep Kili asleep long enough for him to return and watch over him again. I'll make it quick, he silently decided nonetheless.

Careful not to wake his brother, Fili shifted to the edge of the bed and swung his legs over the side and stood, twisting his back and stretching his shoulders; he must have been sat on the bed longer than he had first thought. Glad that the floor was stone and there were no loose floorboards to creek underfoot, he moved towards the door, glancing briefly back to the small form beneath the blue bed covers, he stepped out into the hallway, deciding to leave Kili's door open slightly.

The hallway was cold and Fili immediately missed the warmth that Kili's candles and torches gave off, a small shiver ran up his spine as he set off down the hallway. As he turned the various corners, many of which he was still getting used to after ending up in the wrong place many times, he considered what to tell Thorin, and how. It was delicate, he knew, and Kili was afraid people would think he had gone crazy, that his mind had snapped, Fili, too, did not want them thinking that. He needed to choose his words carefully, remember the emotions he saw in his little brother's eyes when he confessed. He wanted, needed, Thorin to understand that Kili was not crazy, he was hurting and afraid. I'll speak to Oin aswell, Fili hoped the old healer would be able to help, or at least offer some words.

It seemed Thorin had impeccable timing; by the time Fili reached the rampart, pressing his hands against the frosty stone, his uncle and the others were riding towards the Mountain, Erebor banners still waving, quicker now that the breeze had turned into a wind. Fili saw Thorin lift his eyes towards him, clearly recognising his nephew's golden hair, and promptly kicked his pony on.

Fili swiftly descended to meet them at the gates, his arms crossed nervously over his chest, fingernails scratching at the fabric of his sleeves as the group halted their rides and dismounted, passing the reins to those waiting to take them. Thorin quickly notices Fili's anxious stance, the way his blue eyes called for some sort of comfort, and made his way to him.
"Your brother," for this was what his nephew's worry was for, no doubt, "is he alright?" Fili's eyes flicked about him, seeing Balin, Dwalin and the hobbit each staring at him also. He let his eyes linger on the two dwarfs, his oldest friends, who had almost as much hand in raising him and his brother as their mother and uncle. They were family to them both. He should tell them, too.

"I don't think so." he answered honestly with a shake of his head.

"Why, what's wrong? Why did he leave Dale with such haste?" There was an urgent need in Thorin's voice as he squeezed his nephew's shoulder. Fili looked about him.

"We should speak inside, where there are less ears to listen." Fili said, immediately turning back to walk through the gates, his tone willing the others to follow. He counted the sets of feet which perused him, there were four. He lingered back and looked towards Bilbo. Who looked uncertain as to whether he was meant to be following the prince or not. As good, as great, a friend the hobbit had been to him and his brother, Fili wanted this business to remain amongst family, for now. At least until they knew what could be done. His blue eyes met Bilbo's grey ones. "Bilbo," he said, his voice low and soft and apologetic "I don't suppose you'd -" but Bilbo held up a hand, stopping Fili min-sentence, and nodded.

"You don't need to finish what you're going to say, Fili, and I don't mind at all." The hobbit smiled. "This is a family matter. I hope your brother feels well again soon." There was a great sincerity to Bilbo's words that made Fili's lips pull upwards. Many bad things had come out of this journey, but becoming friends with Bilbo was not one of them.

"Thank you Bilbo, but I wonder if you could fetch Oin for me?" Bilbo simply nodded and the blonde lay a grateful hand on his shoulder with a smile, before allowing the hobbit to fetch their healer.


The room that was decided on was small, with only a table and a collection of dusty books and scroll. Some way from the construction, it was quiet and alone. Fili pulled out a chair, the feet scraping along the stone floor, and sat, remaining silent for some moments. With his eyes lightly shut, he inhaled deeply, smelling the staleness of the old room. About him he could almost hear the other staring at one another and then at him and then back and then back, until Thorin broke the silence.

"So, why have we come to this room? What have you to tell us that is so secretive?" The chair beside him was pulled along the floor and creaked slightly with age as someone - undoubtable Thorin - sat upon it. Fili opened his eyes and dragged in one more breath.

"Kili didn't want me to speak to you, he's worried about what you would all say, what you would think. But he needs help and to not be alone." The other dwarves did not speak, simply remained silent and allowed him to continue. "He is ... suffering. There is something happening inside his head and it's affecting him greatly. It prevents him sleeping, eating, doing anything. He says that it suffocates him, makes him feel heavy, as if he's wading through water with the current constantly trying to drag him backwards." He thought of his next words, unsure how to make them sound less terrible than it actually was. But there was no way he could make this sound anything but. "He sees things, things that aren't there. Sees them, feels them, untill his living in some awful and constant nightmare."

"What things?" Balin asked, his white brows furrowed. Fili's shoulders lifted in a shrug.

"Azog and the other orcs, those who were killed during the battle." He looked towards Thorin, leaning forward slightly, "that's why he left Dale. The world about him was transformed and he was plunged back into the battle. Buildings falling and burning, people were being slaughtered by orcs around him. He panicked, said he needed to leave before it choked him. Said he was suffocating." Fili looked away, his fists clenching and unclenching. His fingernails scratching lightly on the table as they curled. "But that is not the worst." For a moment FIli kept his gaze on his hands, they were still dry and cracked from the long journey, before he allowed himself to look at the others. Their faces asking 'what could be worse,' he sighed, running a hand over his face and through his hair. His lips were dry now and he ran his tongue along them, hoping it would make the words come out easier. He let his eyes fall away. "The Necromacer." He spoke, his words clear. "he still sees him." He could immediately feel four sets of eyes on him, the bodies they belonged to freezing as if plunged in ice. The name itself made him feel just the same. Cold. He inwardly groaned. What must they be thinking at that moment, of his brother?

"The Necromancer?" Thorin's voice like an echo. Fili looked at him, his dark brows furrowed above concerned, even scared, blue eyes. Fili nodded.

"This morning, Kili had smashed his mirror, cut his hands rather nastily, at first he told me it had been an accident, that he'd tripped," Fili shrugged, "but then he confessed that he had seen the Necromancer in his reflection, saw himself with those terrible black eyes, and it taunted him and so he lashed out." The blonde looked at the others, wincing at the looks of horror and terror that he saw. He felt his shoulders fall sadly. "He worried you'll think he's crazy, that his mind has snapped and he's unstable. He's so afraid. He knows that what he's seeing, what he's hearing and feeling isn't real, but he finds it hard to believe it. And I worry that soon he won't be able to believe it, won't be able to tell the difference between real and illusion. He's already hurt himself, he's already suffering so badly, I'm scared that it's all going to get worse." He felt tears dampen his eyes and knew the others saw them, he dropped his head and rested it in his hand as one escaped to fall down his cheek. There were many moments of silence, the only sound FIli could hear was his own thundering heart. Had he done the right thing? Would the others respond negatively, as Kili feared? Had he made this all worse? Then he felt the air move as Thorin made a movement beside him and felt the pressure of a hand on his shoulder. He glanced up to see Thorin. The previous horror replaced with concern. His face both soft and hard all at once. Worry and steely determination glimmering in his blue eyes. He squeezed his nephew's shoulders before turning to the healer.

"Oin, what can be done?" He asked. Oin remained sat in silence for some time, his eyes narrowed pensively as his hand ran the length of his grey beard. It was clear by his face that he had listened to each word Fili had spoken, and that he had considered them deeply. He inhaled a long breath, exhaling it for just as long before his eyes came to rest on his king. They lingered there briefly before flicking to each of the other three dwarves sat or stood about the table. He sighed and began to walk around to the opposite side of the table.

"I am a doctor of the body," he said slowly, with an equally slow shake of his head, "and it is his mind that is afflicted." He sat down opposite Fili and met the prince's gaze. "I have seen it before." He said, "Men return from battle or some equally horrific and traumatic experience and they are not themselves, they are haunted by what has happened to them, by what they did or saw. Their memories haunt them even when they are awake, sometimes even the smallest sound can trigger a vision, or feelings of terror and panic. What they see and feel are very real to them. I have not particularly dealt with it, but I have seen it and it is hard to understand." Oin sighed, "The mind and the thoughts and memories that dwell within it are tricky things, which are difficult to truly comprehend." The healer leaned deeper into his seat. "Physical wounds will heal and the scars left behind fade over time, but Kili has wounds that we cannot see, and they will leave scars that may never go away. When you break a bone, you often feel stabs of pain even after the bone is set and healed. What Kili is experiencing is no different. These images and voices are manifestations of the inner turbulence that he's feeling, a side-effect of the wounds his mind has fallen victim to." Oin looked towards Fili, the next words directed specifically to him. "He has not gone crazy, nothing inside his mind has snapped. It is simply an illness, as is the flu, but it is of the mind and cannot be so easily set right."

"Will he get better?" Fili pressed, leaning his elbows on the table and therefor inching a little closer to Oin. "Is there any way to ... fix him?" Is there any way to bring my baby brother back to me? There were some moments of silence, all eyes on the healer.

"It is not like setting a bone or stitching a cut. There are no tools that I possess that can coax his mind to being back as it was. The only treatment I can suggest is patience and understanding." Oin's eyes closed lightly and he shrugged, "you would not ask a person with a broken leg to run five miles, and you cannot ask Kili to do more than he is able. Though his body is quite capable, his mind is preventing him." When the old healer's eyes open again, a memory glimmered behind them. "It was once described to me by a man, who had watched his family murdered in a raid as facing a great wall. You can see over it, but you simply cannot climb over or walk around it. A barrier has been placed between you and everything else. The wall can be broken, but piece-by-piece, brick-by-brick. All we can do is help Kili take down those bricks."

"How?" Fili asked, desperate. There was a silence. Oin's eyes were lightly closed, his mouth thin as he searched his mind for answers, some sort of treatment, anything that could help. He thought of the man whose family was slaughtered. Remembered watching him closely from afar in the months that passed the terrible event. The man had not been alone, he had a sister, who walked beside him most of the time. She had been a tall, red-haired woman whose young skin was milk-pale. He recalled her unwavering presence and support beside her sibling, even when it was clear she had not slept, when dark circles hung beneath tired eyes and her pale skin was dry. He remembered the way her arm snaked around his, her hand squeezing at his wrist, her lips moving with words that Oin couldn't hear. Even when she was not beside him, she was near by, casting glances in his direction. Oin was positive that if the man had been alone, his own darkness would have consumed him.

"It is not going to be easy," Oin said, his eyes meeting Fili's blue ones, "for you, anyone. But we must have patience and remember it is much harder for him. It could take weeks," he shrugged, "months or longer. And yes, it may very well get worse before it gets better" Oin dragged in a long breath, a thoughtful look in his eyes. "The events of the last couple of months have a firm hold on your brother's mind. You have seen the effect their having, Fili, you more than the rest of us." Oin gestured to the himself and the other three dwarves in the room, "and it's out of his control. He cannot choose when a memory comes to him, he could go a while and seem as though he has passed it, and then something will happen, a sound or a situation that will trigger these terrible memories and suddenly he's re-living them, as though he's going through the event all over again. We should try and learn what type of things could cause this, to try and prevent them, to help him to avoid them. But if that should fail, we need to learn how to pull him back. Even if he becomes ... volatile or withdrawn." Oin leaned back in his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. "And he needs to know that this isn't a sign of weakness, it's nothing to be ashamed or guilty of. He must be feeling a bombardment of emotions, which alone must be overwhelming, he doesn't need shame and guilt added to them." Across the table, Fili buried his face in his hands, and a muffled sound, somewhere between a sigh and a sob could be heard.

"Are you alright, nephew?" Thorin asked, leaning in close, a hand pressed on Fili's shoulder. For some moments, the blonde didn't respond, simply remained with his face hidden as he dragged in long, trembling breaths. When he lifted his head again, his blue eyes were full of sorrow.

"I hate that this is happening to him." He said, "After all that he's been through, he must still suffer. It's not fair."

"I know," Thorin said, his voice soft and sad.

"He's such a good person, before this journey he'd never hurt anyone. He'd even rescue animals from hunter's traps for Aulë's sake."

"Aye, he brought home many wounded rabbits when he was young." Thorin nodded.

"And a fox once, if I remember correctly." Balin said, a small, wistful smile on his face. Fili responded with his own fleeting smile.

"It's not fair that my brother should have his joy and light taken from him. He used to see the world in such a wonderous way, he would find something extraordinary in the plain and boring, and now ... the world is dark for him. It is suffering, and pain, and sadness. And I will do everything I can to make it better for him, to make him better."

"As will all of us." Thorin said. The others nodded at this. Fili smiled, glad to know that his little brother would not have to suffer alone as he had in the past, his family and friends would be here for him now.

"Do we tell the rest?" Dwalin asked. This was the first the warrior had spoken from the moment they entered the small room. He had stood in silence, while Fili told them of the terrible happenings and Oin made his suggestions, leaning clenched fists on the table with his head bowed as he listened.

"We'll have to, at some point," Fili shrugged. "If Kili continues to act strangely, they will become suspicious." He sighed, "but for now, the less people that know the better. And I'm sure my brother would appreciate the secrecy."

The five dwarves said little else after that, all that needed to be said had been so. They made their promises to keep a watchful eye on the company's youngest, without, of course, making it obvious to him. They new he would not appreciate being babied. And then with silent nods, their missions set, they departed. As they walked down the torchlight hall, Fili placed a hand on Fili's shoulder, pulling him aside.

"The man in your story." He said, "what happened to him? Did he get better?"

"I don't know," The elder dwarf answered honestly, "he left the village after some time." He saw Fili's shoulders fall slightly, it was clear the prince had hoped for a happy ending to this tale. To be told that the man recovered and moved on with his life, happy and free from hauntings. "But," Oin continued, "he did seem much happier before he left, the shadow had lifted a little." This seemed to satisfy Fili, who gave a small nod.

"Thank you, Oin."
"Anything I can do." The healer smiled, before turning to follow Balin and Dwalin down the hall. Fili watched them go, their understanding of the situation lifted the weight from his shoulder and he felt that he could breath easier now.

"Where is your brother now?" A voice said from behind him. Fili turned to see his uncle looking at him. His uncle was experienced at disguising his emotions, and he did it now. Though Fili could just detect the sadness and concern behind his eyes.

"In his room, he was sleeping when I left. I'm going back there now."

"I will join you."


Kili stretched an arm across the bed as he began to wake. His fingers brushed agaisnt nothing but the bed's soft sheets. He sat up with a jolt, eyes searching the rest of the room. When he had fallen asleep, his brother had been beside him and now he was alone again. He threw the covers from him and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He was about to stand but, the moment he put his weight on his feet, he felt a stab of pain from the wounds he caused himself that morning. He frowned and looked down at his hands. Fili had wrapped a bandage around his torn nuckles, and Kili had hidden them under thick leather gloves when they rode to Dale, not wanting questions from his uncle. He looked down at them now, seeing spots of red blood had stained the fabric, and unravelled them. The light of the torches and candles picked out the cuts, the dots of undried, sticky blood glimmering slightly in the firey light. He clenched and unclenched his fists with a hiss of pain.

"Still tender?" The voice made Kili jump, not just because he thought he was alone, but because he knew who the voice belonged to. He had heard it that morning in the mirror. He turned his head with a start, falling back onto the mattress with a startled gasp. "Didn't mean to make you jump, little one." The figure said with a smile that would suggest he meant to do just that. Kili stared at the figure, stared at himself with those cruel black eyes and that harsh Orcish armour that his true body once wore. The other him sat on the edge of the bed, completely relaxed with one leg curled up so his ankle rested on the knee of the opposite leg. Kili jumped from the bed, ignoring the stinging in his feet, his heart racing and his breaths coming out quick and sharp.

"What ... what are you doing here?" He flicked his eyes towards the mirror. It still remained in the corner of the room, the frame, empty of any glass, turned towards the wall.

"You think a broken mirror can hold me?" The Necromancer scoffed, his black eyes glinting. He sighed dramatically and stood, Kili taking a quick step back. His eyes full of fear and uncertainty, his body wracked with trembles.

"What do you want?"

"I miss you Kili, we made a great team. We could have owned the world."

"No, you would have owned the world, you would have destroyed it and I was nothing more that a piece of clothing for you. I just gave you a body so that you could destroy it all," Kili spat. The Necromancer sneered and took another step towards the young dwarf. Kili held his ground and straightened his shoulders in an attempt to appear brave.

"No, Kili. I'm here to tell you the truth."

"The truth? I know the truth, you're a monster. You have no compassion, you care only for your own objective, for power, and you care not for the innocent people you will ravage along the way. That is all I need to know about you." The Necromancer's face contorted as his lips pulled up in a cruel smile, head falling back slightly as he laughed.

"My dear boy, you know nothing." He reached a long hand towards Kili, nails sharpened to a point. Kili stepped away as the beast approached, his back hitting the one of the many tables in the room, a candle tipping off the edge. The flame catching the cloth as it tumbled. But Kili payed no mind to the flame as climbed up the hanging tablecloth, his brown eyes could only focus on the other him who loomed closer, seeming to grow in size, a hand still reaching outwards. "Let me show you."

Kili wanted to yell, to scream for his brother, but any sound seemed trapped in his throat, only to come out as a frightened gasp. The other him edged forward, a cloak of darkness rising behind him, pushing Kili further backwards until his back pressed against the wall, he could feel the rough stone through his tunic. The youngest Durin felt his heart begin to beat like a drum in his chest, hitting against his ribcage and sending waves through his body until every inch of him shook. He wanted to be brave, but he couldn't battle through the fear that entombed him every time he looked into those ink black eyes and heard they hissing, double layered voice. He pressed his back deeper against the rock, as though he was willing his body to pass through the wall like a spectre. But it only resulted in his spine feeling as though it was to be crushed. Instead with the Necromancer closing the inches between them, he squeezed his eyes shut, in that childish concept of 'if I can't see you, you can't see me,' and slid down the wall. "Open your eyes, boy." The voice slithered his way into his mind despite the hands he pressed against his ears.

"Go away," Kili managed to say, his voice quiet and shaking. But he could fee the Necromancer before him and he knew that if he were to open his eyes, he would be looking directly into those black orbs, barely an inch between them and his own. His whole body suddenly felt cold, hairs standing on end, as if he had stepped into a howling winter blizzard. He could almost feel the wind blowing through his hair. "Go away." He said again, his voice louder this time. He dug his heels into the floor and tried yet again to push himself away. Pressing himself against the wall until his back began to ache.

"Look at me." The voice demanded. Kili shook his head. He didn't want to see himself with those empty black eyes and that cruel smile. That wasn't his face, that wasn't him. He wasn't empty and cruel. He wasn't. He wasn't! He felt a tear escape his closed eyes and roll down his cheek. It felt hot against his cold face. Please go away, he begged silently. Please. At first he thought his quite plea had been heard as he suddenly felt very alone. But then. "LOOK AT ME!"

And Kili's eyes opened with a start, feeling his whole body flinch violently with the volume of the roar. He almost felt the room shake. Except he wasn't in his room anymore. He was in a place that, apart from his dreams, he had only stepped foot in once. The great cavern at Dol Guldur, where the Necromancer first slithered across those dead, broken walls like a black snake. Where his ethereal voice first found its way into Kili's mind and planted itself there like a diseased seed. He couldn't be here. It wasn't real. It couldn't be real. Yet he could smell the acrid, heavy air, could feel it's bitter chill. He could almost make out the chattering and cackling of the orcs in the hallways which lead away from the chamber. He tried to stand, but he felt frozen in place and though the floor of this damned place had grown hands that clamped shut on his legs and kept him there. He could feel the panic begin to rise and rise, until his heart beat so quickly there seemed to be no break between the thumps. All the terror he had felt the first time, all those weeks ago, came rushing back and he wanted to get away but he couldn't.

"Look into the flames, Kili." The voice commanded. Kili's eyes moved and rested on a ball of fire which seemed to float in the open, bitter air. He couldn't feel the heat but he could smell the burning and taste the smoke in the back of his throat. He coughed. It was as if the flames were hypnotising him with their flickering dance, he could not look away, even when the brightness and the smoke began to sting his eyes. And then the fire seemed to talk to him, whispering in a thousand different voices, laced with languages that he'd never heard. The flames began to warp, parting in the middle and making way for a dark shadow. At first the shadow did nothing, but Kili could feel it watching him. And then it, too, began to change shape, elongating, limbs stretching out, a horned helmet reaching upwards into the flames. The figure's jagged armour caught the light of the flames, sharp edges glinting dangerously. And then a hand reached out to the frozen and frightened dwarf, a golden ring on one of the long, gloved fingers. Words that Kili could not make out, glowing as though they were made of the very fire which encircled its wearer. "You know me, Kili, you know my name." And the voices grew louder and louder until they were unbearable. Kili clamped his hands over his ears in an attempt to shut them out. But to no avail. It was as if they were inside his very skull. Thousands of people yelling and screaming and growling and pleading and weeping. And it hurt. It felt like his head was about to explode. It caused him to double over, pressing his forehead against the cold floor, screaming into the stone. He dug his nails into his skin, tangling in his dark hair.

"Leave me alone!" He screamed, "stop it, please!" Smoke reached its way into his throat, preventing any more pleas, and brushed his cold skin. He wanted this to end. Please stop! He could feel the figure getting closer, feel both the heat and the cold that it brought. No please.
And then hands grabbed at him, clawing at him and pulling at him. He tried to shake them off, struggling against their grip.

"Kili!" A voice called, muffled through the hands he still had pressed against his ears. He struggled again. He wouldn't be taken by beasts again. "Kili, look at me!" No! He wouldn't look into those black eyes again, he wouldn't see that cruel sneer or be hypnotised by the flames again.

Fili tried to pull his brother from the floor as Thorin doused the flames with a curtain he had yanked free from the bedpost. But Kili continued to struggle away from him, keeping his body low, hands clamped shut over his ears so Fili wasn't even sure he could hear him. He instead changed tactic to remove Kili's hands, so his little brother could hear his voice and know he was here. They were like a vice, but after many attempts Fili managed to pull them away, wrapping a firm hand around his brother's wrists. Kili sat up with a jolt and tried to wrench himself away.

"Get off me please." Kili begged, his voice so full of terror that it made Fili's heart hurt.

"Kili, listen. It's me, it's Fili." Fili closed the space between them so that he was meer inches from Kili's strained, tear stained face. His eyes still squeezed shut. "Nadadith, Kee, please open your eyes." He pleaded. He rested a hand against Kili's cheek. "Kee, you're safe. Please look at me." And then Kili's eyes opened, slowly at first, as though he was taking a quick peep to make sure he was in fact safe. And then they opened wide and terrified and unsure, flicking around the room, studying every corner over and over until he was satisfied and fell back against the wall. "Little brother?" Fili asked, reaching a hand towards him, "what was it?" But Kili said nothing, simply collapsed forward against his brother, the only thing that made him feel safe, sobs escaping him before he could prevent them. "Oh Kili," Fili said sadly as he wrapped his arms around him, pulling him in closer. He ran a hand through Kili's hair. "You're safe, brother."

Thorin stamped out the last of the flames, wafting the smoke away with his hand, before turning, shoulders slumping at the scene before him. It was a pitiful sight to see, it pulled at his heart. He moved forward and knelt on the floor, he pushed Kili's hair from his face, distressed eyes looking at him over his brother's shoulders. The poor boy. What was hurting him so? He leant forward and joined Fili in wrapping his broad arms around the tiny, shaking form, adding another protective layer between his youngest sister-son and the nightmares which followed him. This was worse than he thought.


A/N
First of all I have a HUGE appology to make. The ammount of time it has taken me to upload this chapter is unacceptable. And I'll tell you the truth as to why this is. Honsetly, I fell out of love with this story, as much as I hate to say it. Well, not the story itself, more the writing of the story. Every time I tried to write this part I was just blank, like major writer's block. I didn't like anything I was writing, it all just sounded rubbish and I wasn't enjoying it, to the point I didn't even want to open the document. Because I knew that if I wrote without the enjoyment, it wouldn't make a good read for you guys. So I waited for the motivation, and waited and waited. And finally, a few days ago, I re-opened the the document and found my flow again! And fell back in love with my story again! And it felt so good! I've missed Fili and Kili, I've missed the drama, and I've missed writing for you guys! I hope that you forgive me for this long abscence and I hope this is the last time I have this type of block - it was not fun at all.

Anyway, this part is quite long, but I felt you guys deserved it. I did some research on PTSD and tried to put it in the conversation between Fili, Oin and the others, without making it sound like I'd copied and pasted a website. And obviously, I doubt the people of the LOTR/HOBBIT universe would have much knowledge about mental illness, as even now in the 21st century there is still stigma about it, so I didn't want it to sound like modern medical knowledge. I'm not sure if I achieved any of this, I hope I did. Let me know guys!

And lets just talk about the last bit of this chapter with, who I'm calling 'NecroKili.' So, I was recently re-watching a few episodes of Supernatural, in particular the episodes in Season 7 where Sam hallucinates Lucifer. I LOVE these episode, Lucifer, as much as a dick as he is, it just funny. And the episodes made me think, "Hey, what if Kili hallucinates himself as the Necromancer in this way?" He's already seen the Necromancer in the mirror and I feel this this is the next step. My knowledge of PTSD is minimal, only what I've briefly read online, so I have no idea if people who suffer with it can hallucinate like this or not. But I thought it would add another layer to what's currently happening to Kili in this story. I wanted to add just a little bit of humour to this dark storyline and having the Necromancer talk to and taunt Kili in the way Lucifer did Sam would be an interesting way to do this. I think it works as a way to progress the story. Obviously we want Kili to know who the Necromancer really is, and I felt what I did here worked. But I'm interested in how you feel about this? Is it a good idea or not?

Anyway, thanks guys, so so much for you patience, I hope you enjoy this part. Don't forget to leave me some feedback, especially about NecroKili, as I'm super interested to know what you think about it! See ya in the next part (fingers crossed it will not take months this time!)