I'm still feeling really flat lately but hopefully my writing will pick up in time for the last couple of chapters

I'm still feeling really flat lately but hopefully my writing will pick up in time for the last couple of chapters.

Please comment!

Chapter 53: Closer

Jude had been on edge ever since the dream about Tommy a few days earlier. She'd barely left the house since Emma had been born and a trip to the grocery store earlier that day had seemed a monumental occasion. She'd watched Tommy from behind the shopping cart as he strode of her down the aisles, Emma cradled to his chest in a baby carrying contraption she didn't know the correct name for. He'd caught her staring a couple of times but judging by the happy smile he'd given her, hadn't come close to guessing her actual thoughts.

Emma's breathing was a soft and calming effect to Jude's jittery nerves as she tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Through the dim moonlight falling through the window she could gaze at the crib and feel that overwhelming sense of love warming her. But still, she had an aching feeling in her chest, a dull emptiness, a yearning for human affection and security. Showering the very things she craved on her daughter these last couple of weeks had only made her want it more.

She shoved aside her blankets and sat at the edge of the bed, her feet sinking into the cold carpet beneath her. Her eyes closed and she thought of Tommy at the end of the hall, remembered watching him sleep that morning so long ago. On a whim and before logic could scream it's insults, she snatched up the baby monitor from her bedside table, left her bedroom door open and tiptoed down the hallway.

She reached Tommy's door and paused outside. Logic was attempting to worm it's way into her mind and embarrassment was lapping at her ankles. She didn't realize she'd pushed against the door but slowly it creaked open. She heard movement, the rustling of blankets and Tommy's sleepy voice.

"Who's there?"

"Sorry," she whispered softly, "did I wake you?"

"No," Though she couldn't see him in the darkness, she could imagine him shaking his head and unconsciously fixing his hair. "I was just dozing. What's up girl?" He turned on the bedside lamp and the harsh light bombarded her.

She shielded her eyes with her hand and walked into the room. He was sitting in the bed, his back to the headboard as he watched her curiously.

"Can I-," she paused and put a hand to her forehead, then reached fro the lamp and switched it off.

In the darkness she heard Tommy's smiling voice. "Okay..."

"Can I stay here tonight?" she blurted out, interrupting him.

"What?"

"It's silly. Forget I did this," she muttered, feeling ashamed and embarrassed, she started for the door. Blindly, he reached out to stop her and his hand landed on her waist, just above her hip.

"No, wait. You, uh, want to sleep with me?" she could hear the surprise in his voice.

At the words and their numerous interpretations she felt blood rush to her face violently. "No, I mean, not like that."

He laughed and somehow his hand found hers in the darkness. "I know not like that."

He shifted over in the bed, making space for her and held the blankets up for her to climb in. She did so, feeling awkward and ridiculous. She set her head head down on the pillow and the two stared at each other as their eyes grew accustomed to the darkness.

"You okay?" he asked softly.

She nodded and they lay there in silence for a few more minutes.

"Could you-" she stopped and covered her face with her hands, groaning in frustration.

He slid a little closer and gently pried her hands away. "Yes?"

"Hold me," it came out as a command and not a request so she added a hasty, "please."

Instantly his arms snaked out and wrapped around her. He pulled her close to him and she felt his warmth envelope her. She closer her eyes and lay her head down on his shoulder.

"Like this?" he whispered huskily.

"Perfect," she responded.

Already the sleep that had so ruthlessly evaded her began to take over and the two drifted into a deep sleep. By the bed, the baby moniter's soft red light glowed reassuringly as the sound of Emma's peaceful breathing served as the lullaby to put her parents to sleep.

--

Tommy awoke to a soft sniffing sound, interlaced with the occasional whimper. He opened his eyes, blinking to adjust to the darkness, broken only by one thin strip of moonlight falling through the windows.

His bed was warmer then usual and as his mind left it's slumber, he realized it was due to the soft female form wrapped around his torso. Jude's head rested just above his heart, the heart which started beating fathers the moment he recognized that fact. One of her arms was wrapped loosely around his waist while the other rested between their bodies.

He lifted his hand and ran it through her silky hair as Emma's fussing grew louder. Hearing her daughter's soft mewing, Jude stirred. She paused for a moment, taking in her new surroundings then glanced up at Tommy.

"I should go," he said with a sigh.

"No, stay, I'll get her." He carefully slid out from under her and moved to the door. Behind him Jude stretched in the large bed. His scent was everywhere and she closed her eyes, reliving the security of waking up in his arms.

Emma's mews had grown to an insistent wail by the time Tommy reached her crib. Her small feet kicked at the air, angry with the lack of immediate service, while her arms flailed about. Her eyes landed on Tommy and her crying and kicking instantly stopped. She lay still and patiently waited for him to pick her up.

He picked her up carefully, one hand supporting her head while the other held the rest of her body. He was reminded how fragile she was, each and every time he touched her or looked into those deep blue eyes that caught his gaze and held onto it just as defiantly as when she trapped his finger in her first.

Jude had sat up by the time he returned. One hand self-consciously ran through her hair while the other fidgeted with her pajama top.

"She's dry," he reported as he carefully handed over the baby.

Jude nodded, "hungry. Always hungry."

"I like a strong appetite in a girl." He walked over to the window and gazed down at the back yard, offering her privacy as she unbuttoned her top.

"How long do you think until she starts sleeping through the night?" Jude asked, in an attempt to break the awkward silence that had settled over the room. They were always awkward around breastfeeding but being here, in his bedroom, in the middle of the night, only added to it.

"Whenever it is, I'm sure it won't be too soon."

"Is she disturbing you in the night?" she asked quickly.

"No. It's not that. I feel bad you're always the one who has to get up. I'd suggest alternating the cribs between rooms but then she only ever really needs you."

"That's not true. She needs you too," Jude insisted.

It was strange talking to his back and she glanced down to check on Emma's progress. The baby's suckling was slowing as her eyes began to gradually close. Jude gently detached her and pulled her shirt closed.

"We should probably be getting back to our room," she said as she stood carefully.

Tommy turned, "I'd," he paused, "I'd really like you to stay."

She paused, "Um, okay. I'll just put her back down."

--

"Sadie?" Jude shut her eyes tightly as she clutched the phone to her ear, ignoring Emma's cries and the wail of the boiling kettle on the oven. She was standing in the hallway with her back to the kitchen where the chaos was taking place. Tommy had been called into G-Major unexpectedly. It was some kind of 'emergency' with an artist that he couldn't talk his way out of. Tired of her life resolving solely around Emma's care; Jude had undertaken some house work, her first major effort since Emma was born. Tommy had improved since they first met but there were still some household jobs he didn't even know existed and thus ignored.

It had seemed like a great idea at the time but now, an hour into the job, Jude was starting to regret ever suggesting they let the cleaning lady go.

"Um, I'm kind of freaking out over here. Do you think maybe you could come around and make sure I don't implode or something?" Her voice wobbled a little as she spoke and she pressed a hand to her forehead, willing herself to calm down. "I mean, that would be okay and all but I just need someone to watch Emma if I do..."

She tried not to feel offended by the amusement she could hear in Sadie's voice as she quickly answered; "I'll be right there."

Jude slowly placed the phone back into the receiver and walked into the kitchen. Maybe she was suffering a momentary occurrence of post-natal depression or just some emotional imbalance because her mind knew that this wasn't a big deal and yet she still felt like she was about to burst into tears. She ignored the basket of laundry waiting to be folded and put away, almost tripped over a bucket and most on the floor and glared at the waiting oven cleaner accusingly.

Instead she sat beside Emma's portable baby bed and forced herself to smile. "It's okay baby. Don't cry."

--

"Jude?" Sadie called as she walked in the front door of the house.

Music was playing loudly from one of the upstairs bedrooms, competing with the drone of the television from the living room and the distant buzz of radio hosts drifting from the kitchen. There was a scent of soap and cleaners in the air and a slight breeze running through the hall. Glancing at the clothes slung over the bannister, she wondered if this was some new creative outlet for her sister or just a sign of a breakdown.

Her attention was pulled away from the stairs and drawn to Jude's voice as she appeared from the kitchen, Emma cradled in her arms.

"You're here!"

Sadie smiled and gave her sister an awkward half hug, careful not to crush the baby then insisted the dozing infant be handed over.

"Please don't wake her. It took forever to get her to sleep."

Sadie's eyebrows rose. "I'm not surprised. It's so loud in here."

Jude chucked and impatiently brushed a loose strand of hair off her forehead. "She likes it. She won't sleep during the day unless there's absolute audio chaos. Please don't laugh, it's not funny."

Sadie banished her smile. "I'll go put her down on then we can get onto the house, okay?"

An hour or so later the house had returned to it's normal state of dignity while Sadie and Jude were both panting, disheveled messes. It was a small mercy that Emma hadn't yet woken. Though the two constantly found themselves eyeing the baby monitor attached to Jude's waistband nervously, not a peep had come from it.

"I've decided," Sadie declared as she set a mug of hot chocolate down in front of Jude at the kitchen table then sat down across from her, "as soon as Tommy gets home you and I are going out."

Jude shook her head. "I can't."

"You can and you will. You undertook way too much today but I get why. You need a change of pace and that's not selfish or unmotherly. It's totally reasonable."

"I can't leave Emma alone with Tommy."

"Don't you trust him?"

Jude's eyes widened and she shook her head. "No, it's just... it's too much to ask."

"It'll be good for him. It'll be good for her and it'll be good for you. And I'm not taking no for an answer."

--

Tommy was lying on the sofa watching TV with Emma asleep on his chest. A warm rug was pulled up to her shoulders and numerous cushions were spaced around for safety.

The moment he'd arrived home from G-Major Sadie had dragged Jude out the door. There was barely time for her to hand over the baby monitor and give him a quick but savored (at least for him) hug, before they left.

He and Emma had had a thrilling afternoon in the garden. He'd put a blanket down in the middle of the lawn and Emma had laid on her back and waved her arms at passing butterflies. He could see the determined glint in her eyes, so much like her mother's, as she shook her body and tried to move up to catch up them. This was generally closely followed by a frustrated, gurgling utterance.

After half an hour of butterfly watching they'd retired to the lounge and an exhausted Emma soon succumbed to slumber.

He heard the front door open and craned his neck around to see Jude arrive at the lounge door. She smiled and and leaned against the door frame. "Well aren't you two a pretty picture."

He carefully inched back so he was leaning against the armrest. "So do you. You look amazing."

She smiled and fiddled with her skirt self-consciously. "Sadie took me to a spa, then a manicurist, then to a boutique." She rolled her eyes, "I feel so girly."

"So you had fun?"

She nodded and walked over to gently stroke Emma's back. "But I missed you," she said to the sleeping baby before leaning down to kiss her round cheek.

Feigning offense Tommy asked, "What about me?"

She laughed and shrugged, "well I guess so. I mean, I survived and all."

He pouted then tried not to show his surprise when she pressed a warm kiss to his cheek too.

"Thanks," he said, surprise evident in his voice.

She blushed and he resisted the urge to over-analyze everything that had just taken place. Meanwhile Jude turned to the TV and quickly changed the subject, "so what are you watching?"

--

Tommy was surprised when Darius turned up on their doorstep early the next morning. The large man shifted uncomfortably, his eyes passing over Tommy as if he were something of passing importance. They landed on Jude walking down the stairs, Emma carefully cradled in her arms.

"Just the superstar I wanted to see," he remarked, his face breaking out in a warm grin as he stepped into the foyer.

"Come on in," Tommy remarked sarcastically as he pushed the door shut behind him, a little too hard. "I'm going to go do some work on the shutters in the back yard," he told Jude.

She nodded a little nervously and turned her attention to Darius. "Would you like to come into the kitchen and have something to drink?"

He nodded distractedly and motioned to Emma, "Can I hold her?" Jude handed over the baby and he chuckled to himself. "This brings back memories of when Alicia was this age. Good years and terrible years all rolled into one."

Jude led the way into the kitchen and motioned for him to sit down at the table while she prepared coffee and set it down on the table.

"She's gorgeous Jude." He grinned as he repositioned the baby on in his arms and began to make goofy faces. Emma giggled happily. Jude eased herself down onto one of the chairs and watched, head was tilted to side contentedly. This was a different side of the media mogul then she normally saw and she felt so much more at ease in the kitchen of her home, with her daughter and Tommy nearby then she ever had at G-Major.

There was a crashing noise outside and they both glanced out to see Tommy standing with a shutter under his arm and one at his feet. He shrugged at them sheepishly.

Darius nodded shook his head as he turned back to Jude. "I guess his contribution to this little girl is the first thing in his personal life he's actually done right." He waved his hand in front of Emma and wiggled his fingers.

Jude frowned, anger and frustration welling up inside her. Her gaze turned to the window as she watched Tommy frowning at the shutters. He carefully balanced the two in his arms then proceeded to the shed to continue with his repairs. She turned back to Darius and stared at him silently until he looked up.

"She's... not Tommy's," she said softly.

His expression was blank for a moment as he processed the words, then his eyes widened. "Does Tommy know?"

She laughed, "yeah." She fiddled with her earring as her eyes nervously danced about the room. "There's, uh, no way she could be his. We didn't... we've never..." she shrugged, letting the words trail off.

Darius shook his head, "I don't understand."

She looked down at her hands as she mumbled and stuttered through her explanation. "I figured out I was pregnant at the studio. I was scared... terrified and completely alone. Tommy, he stepped up, offered to share the weight, be the villain in everyone's eyes."

There was silence for a long moment as Darius processed the words. "Who else knows?"

"Just Sadie and Kwest. I'm not sure I'm ever going to tell my parents."

He nodded slowly. "So why did you tell me?"

"Because you give him a hard time at the best of times and I wanted you to know he isn't the person you think he is. Not anymore. Not even close. He took all the hate and judgment the world sent us onto his shoulders and I don't even know why."

Darius was silent as he watched Tommy through the window. He nodded to himself slowly then turned back to her.

"He's said it before but I never let myself see it. It's because he loves you."

Teasers for Chapter 54: Resitution

"Geez Nancy Drew. What is this? 'The case of the slumberless sister?'"

"I think you slumbered," she drew quotations marks in the air, "just fine. I want to know where."